Come Into The Deep End... with ImHisServant (2)

[powerofprayer]

Welcome woman.at.the.well, MeekOne, and Gazelle!
Glad to have you here!
Great to hear from you Tangi

 

[cristianna]

Currently with tax season here I am overwhelmed in work. But generally throughout the year I have time to focus my priorities and thoughts in other places. Therefore my answer now would not be the typical thoughts in my daily life.

At the present time I think about when my dreams will turn into numbers and spreadsheets coming to life. Seriously, I do! On the average day this is how my brain works:

I think I fell asleep praying and talking to God again last night. (I do this ALL the time).
Hmm... what time will dh be home for dinner? What am I cooking for dinner?
Are the girls staying on track this morning so just once this week we can get out the door on time?
I need to go check on my birdies they probably need more food (we just put a bird feeder out earlier this week and I believe the birds will send us into the poor house-- daily I've had to refill it)
What's the weather plans for the day so I can get the dog exercised? Why do I always have to be the sole caretaker of the dog? I wonder if anyone else will ever help with the daily exercising, grooming, vet appointments?
Oh man, I forgot to get "fill in the blank" done... better add that to the list.
Rats I think if the scale adds another pound on it's reading I'm taking a hammer to it! Let me empty my bladder, get fully undressed and exhale as I get back on that liar of a machine.

That would just be the first 30 minutes of my morning. My brain, as dh puts it, is a bunch of fireworks going off with no set path, order or time release mechanism.

As my day progresses I move onto religion and christianity, work, relationships, work, household chores, work, upcoming school projects, work, next volunteer hours and dates, work, it is bed time yet, work, am I doing enough, work, am I spread too thin, work, etc.

I've turned in my notice to be effective as soon as tax season is over. It's not silly, but it is. I go from no hours to an overwhelming amount which is stressful because there's no transition-- it's practically here over night. It will be nice to be done with work and replace all those "work" thoughts with religion and God.

 

[woman.at.the.well]

Welcome woman.at.the.well, MeekOne, and Gazelle!
Glad to have you here!
Great to hear from you Tangi

powerofprayer! it is sooooo nice to meet you. I just love the company Gina has invited to this thread!

 

[abigale]

Oh, silly me. I must have posted in the wrong thread. I don't have time to be hear a lot but (hardly ever really) but one thing I would like to say, this is a quote from another thread

Fellowship is a wonderful idea, but sometimes we don't go as deep as we would like to. You know when someone asks "How are you doing?" That is such surface stuff, I think we can do better than that as a Christian family. The pat answer for that is "I'm fine." Which really stands for Frustrated Insecure Neurotic And Emotional....and even though there are people who would feel this way, we never really get to know that. If we went a little below the surface stuff, maybe we can get a feeling of real fellowship on here. One of the problems with that on the internet also is the people who come on and just blast others for putting their feelings on the line, and that is the reality and shame that we face on here too. If we see that, lets stand up for each other in peace and love. "

That seems to be what this thread is doing, God bless you in it.

I think if we can see our way to do that this world would be a nicer place. May the Lord bless and keep you all in your lives

~abby~

"

 

[LivingLifeHisWay]

I just wanted to let you girls know that I am here and I am going to respond to yesterday and today's topic soon. I just haven't had enough time to get my responses together. I will have time tonight when my boys are asleep.

TTYS
Christina

 

[cristianna]

Well Sista... it's no wonder you have no time! Look at you all comfy and relaxing in your bedroom!

 

[jenrenee]

What do you think about during the day??​

What a great topic! I constantly have so many things running through my mind that it's a wonder I don't get lost in myself. Of course, during the weekday, my mind is focused on my work - I organize schools for a manufacturing company and there is so much involved and it's hard to keep it all straight. The rest of the time my mind is busy on the day to day things: paying bills, chores, etc. and of course - plans for the weekend. There is one thing, however, that is on my mind 24/7. I was actually thinking about it before I read your post. My journey to "trying" to start a family. I'm finding it increasingly difficult to even do this. I have been married for 2 1/2 years and have had 2 pregnancies that I lost due to early m/c. They couldn't give me a reason as to why I lost them and the last one was almost a year ago. Since then I have been trying everything to become pregnant again. Nothing has happened since then. I keep worrying - what if I can't have children? What if I do, but not for another five years? Why can some people have children so easily, but for me it's so hard? Each month, I go through the actions of hoping that it is my month - I have spent so much money on home pregnancy tests that I'm amazed we are not bankrupt and living in a box! I pray almost every night that the Lord will bless us with children. When it doesn't happen - I try to tell myself that He has a plan for me and my family. That maybe He knows we are not ready yet - maybe we are not ready financially or spiritually? So I sat down last week and came up with a plan to start saving money - at least that way if it happens and I have to take maternity leave, we can still pay the bills - and of course, the cost of having a baby. I feel that I am spiritually ready to bring a child into this world and to teach them the love of God - but is my husband ready? These thoughts go round and round in my mind every day.

 

[LivingLifeHisWay]

Hello ladies and gents! Almost forgot that last part.

Goodness I hope I'm not painting a picture of some neurotic mother because it did not go down like that. I just changed from happy-go-lucky to short, concise answers to completely ignoring the lady except to say "have a good evening"-- which probably didn't sound sincere. How non-Christian is that behavior? It was dreadful. I do genuinely feel guilty-- know I was wrong-- know I should probably apologize, but the look on dd#2's face when the instructor was degrading her immediately ceases all guilt.

</IMG>

Sista, I think mama bear comes out in all of us when someone is putting our children down. It is our responsibility to protect them. Don't beat yourself up for defending your daughter. I think you handled the situation fine.....handing over the conversation to your husband took a lot of self-control.

~Christina

 

[LivingLifeHisWay]

Hope that wasn't too much info for you... just felt a need to be volurable and open up today.

Not too much at all. Thanks for sharing your heart and opening up to us.

~Christina

 

[LivingLifeHisWay]

I think that if you can reach out and help at least one person, you have made a difference in the world. I hope that I can do that.

I have great confidence that you WILL make a difference. The experiences you have gone through has given you a passion in this area. Take that passion and run!

 

[LivingLifeHisWay]

First off, so sorry I'm "taking over" the thread this evening...just wanted to catch up. First off, all your posts touched me so deeply. Thanks for sharing your lives with us.

Burn97: As always your post was amazing! Yes, God died for the sinner not the righteous and YES nothing is a surprise to Him! Praise God!

Sunshineray: I read your blog and sharing what you did took a lot of guts. I admire you for that.

Have you struggled with letting go of what is behind you? Regrets that have lasted many years?

What do you do when you catch yourself thinking on past mistakes? ​

Have you repented and asked for forgiveness? Have you forgiven yourself??​

What things could you give your time and energy to that would help you become a better Christian and person? ​

Regrets. Oh boy do I have those! As a child every type of abuse was afflicted on me which made me into a very hallow and empty person. I needed to fill the voids and emptiness within me so I started to fill them with alcohol, drugs and people. I was married at 19, divorced by 20. Divorced because my 1st husband cheated on me again and again. When he left I crashed. I had lost the 1 person who I thought had always been there. I was ALONE. That year was the worst year. More drugs, more alcohol, more people. And then I met my current husband. We met God, became married and now I live my life God's way. (hence my CF name)......I've lived my life my way and it didn't work out.

Although I do regret the way I have lived my life I needed to go through those things in order to give up control and give it all to God. I had to be broken down before He could lift me up. I love Him so very much for that. I really do.

God does not waste a single dissapointment or hurt. We always stand to learn from them.

God Bless!
~Christina

(unto today's topic)

 

[LivingLifeHisWay]

What do I think about during the day????

I begin eachday by praying and reading from His Word. I do this because it starts my day focused on Him and my heart is where He wants it to be. I give myself, my husband, my children and everything that will go on that day over to Him. I give Him control of it all. I have also started to add worship time to my daily routine. I have a MP3 player so I have downloaded all my faves and listen to it. I can't tell you how powerful it is to start my day praying (giving everything to God), reading from His Word (filling myself up with spiritual food) and then pouring out my heart in song to my Lord. I usually end up crying and bowed to the floor in praise. It might seem like a wierd way to start a day (the crying part anyway) but it is a release for me to just totally give up and depend, cling and rely on God.

I get up before my children do so I can have this time with God.

Throughout the day I pray and ask for God's guidance. Not just about the big stuff but the small stuff too because I honestly can't do it on my own.

Have a good night and an awesome weekend!

 

[LivingLifeHisWay]

Just one more post...sorry

Welcome to all the newbies!!!! I've enjoyed "meeting" you!!!!

 

[JPPT1974]

Getting closer to God not just
Involves church but also reading
His word and praying to Him
Along with fellowshipping with other believers
To get more close to Him!

 

[ImHisServant]

Don't worry about having too many posts... I like it when those who were away catch up from where they left off instead of just forwarding to the current topic.

 

[ImHisServant]

One of the problems with that on the internet also is the people who come on and just blast others for putting their feelings on the line, and that is the reality and shame that we face on here too. If we see that, lets stand up for each other in peace and love. "

That seems to be what this thread is doing, God bless you in it.

I think if we can see our way to do that this world would be a nicer place. May the Lord bless and keep you all in your lives

~abby~

"

That's what this thread is all about abby... and I'm glad it's working that way. Nothing hurts my heart more then people being mocked after opening up so deep. I never want that to happen here.

I am very careful about who I invite in for that reason... I search out through posts and blogs like-minded women... some come in on their own and that is wonderful too!! Once reading the posts they know if it is for them or not.

For the record... I've never expierenced a more caring, loving and supportive fellowship in person or online then this one.

In the times that I or others have opened up I have seen nothing but acceptance, love and grace extended. Some heavy chains have been broke!!

Love ya all,

Gina

 

[ImHisServant]

And last post for me tonight... the weekends are just free chat - no topic... so chat away

 

[Crystal~Rose]

Friday 1/12/07​

Hidden Life​

Set your minds on things above, not on earthly
things. For you dies, and your life is now hidden
with Christ in God.
Colossians 3:2-3​

Life is so busy. You may find that your mind is usually racing to keep track of all the things you need to do. Multi-tasking means multi-thinking. While it's certainly important to keep life going, particularly if you have a family who is depending on you to do so, it is even more important to focus your thoughts on things above.​

Paul points out here that, when you became a believer, you died and the meaning and purpose of your new life is hidden with Christ in God. So, to learn about that life and to grow deeper in Him, requires focusing your thoughts of Him. The better you know Christ, the more you will understand about your life.​

What do you think about during the day??​

I would consider myself an obsessive thinker, reguardless of good times or bad my mind races for I am always on the go and I have so much depending on me. When things are bad everything in my life and those around me suffers.
Because I have a special needs child I have a job that I can schedule around his needs, not only that but I am the only driver in the house so I have to manage my day around who needs to be where when and who needs to be picked up. There is little time that is mine, only the late evenings here at CF. This is where I unwind, fellowship and have a bit of fun.
I'm always thinking about others unless I am experiencing deep emotional pain or turmoil in my home, which is how things have been for several months and wasnt until recently did a light appear at the end of this tunnel of depression I have been fighting for two years. My marriage has been on the line for a long time now and when I lost all hope and made preparations to leave, God stepped in and gave me something to hold onto. Praise to the God of hope

 

[LilGeorgiaPeach81]

First off, so sorry I'm "taking over" the thread this evening...just wanted to catch up. First off, all your posts touched me so deeply. Thanks for sharing your lives with us.

Burn97: As always your post was amazing! Yes, God died for the sinner not the righteous and YES nothing is a surprise to Him! Praise God!

Sunshineray: I read your blog and sharing what you did took a lot of guts. I admire you for that.




Regrets. Oh boy do I have those! As a child every type of abuse was afflicted on me which made me into a very hallow and empty person. I needed to fill the voids and emptiness within me so I started to fill them with alcohol, drugs and people. I was married at 19, divorced by 20. Divorced because my 1st husband cheated on me again and again. When he left I crashed. I had lost the 1 person who I thought had always been there. I was ALONE. That year was the worst year. More drugs, more alcohol, more people. And then I met my current husband. We met God, became married and now I live my life God's way. (hence my CF name)......I've lived my life my way and it didn't work out.

Although I do regret the way I have lived my life I needed to go through those things in order to give up control and give it all to God. I had to be broken down before He could lift me up. I love Him so very much for that. I really do.

God does not waste a single dissapointment or hurt. We always stand to learn from them.

God Bless!
~Christina

(unto today's topic)

Wow, I thought I'd had some tough times, but I see that you've endured so much more and come through with love for the Lord, and that gives me such hope!

I'm still recovering from my youth, not so long ago. Not from any abuse that was put on me, but what I did to myself. I left home as a teen to live with a boy I thought "loved" me, but obviously didn't love me or respect me enough to let me stay at home with a good Christian family. Of course that ended, but I had too much pride to go home. So I bounced around and let myself get used and stayed under bad influences and in bad situations until, with God's grace, I was able to see that this was beneath what God intends for us. I know God is good because I was accepted back in his arms after years of living in sin and misery.

God is truly a father who stands always ready to forgive the sins of his children if they just return to the love he holds out to us, steadily, as a rock!

 

[powerofprayer]

Thursday 1/11/07

Looking Forward​

Have you struggled with letting go of what is behind you? Regrets that have lasted many years? ​

What do you do when you catch yourself thinking on past mistakes? ​

Have you repented and asked for forgiveness? Have you forgiven yourself??​

What things could you give your time and energy to that would help you become a better Christian and person? ​

I often think back to when I was 17 years old & I drank excessively. It got me in alot of trouble but I never seemed to learn from it. One night I was at a party & ended up "date raped" (& I was a virgin at the time) by a guy that everyone knew I had a crush on. Because "Sandy was always drunk", I didn't feel like anyone would believe me, so I never told a soul. I allowed him to get away with what he did to me. As a result, I drank more, partied more, and eventually became promiscuous. I want to believe that I have forgiven myself - I know God has - but I find myself too often saddened by that period in my life. By the time I was 19, I was dating a drug addict that was 28. Although I never used drugs, I continued to drink excessively. And the worse part was all of the pain it caused my parents. I try to remind myself that this terrible, broken road did lead me to where I am today...and there is nowhere else I'd rather be!

Friday 1/12/07

Hidden Life​

What do you think about during the day??​

This is not an easy one for me to answer. I have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. So my mind literally has a mind of its own. I am obsessed with religion so I think about God all the time. Well, that's just one of my many obsessions! I constantly replay conversations in my head, repeat things I hear or read several times, go over my to-do lists over & over & over.... its crazy!! My mind is always more exhausted than my body.

​