Christian self-esteem?

[LuckyCharm]

Just ran across this on a Christian web site and wanted to get some further opinions:

[font=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]"Avoid negative sources, people, places, things and habits. "

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Sounds like good advice, at least at first glance, but I'm wondering whether this is really Christianity or pop-psychology. Would Jesus "avoid negative people," for instance?

And how does the concept of self-esteem fit in with the Christian virtue of humility, anyway?

~~Cheryl
​

 

[LynneClomina]

from what i understand, we are to seek out the "man of peace" - nobody else will listen to the gospel, we would be throwing our pearls before swine, and they'll just bring us down. i have a responsibility to guard my eye-gates and ear-gates to keep negetivity, criticism, etc from poisoning me. a brief foray into enemy territory to scatter some seeds, sure, but not to "live" there, absorbing all that stuff into us. some people, however, have the gifting of God's grace to enable them to stay in that environment if they are so called to.

that being said, i dont know what that has to do with self esteem. i am supposed to die to myself, not puff me up. i would hazard a guess that for me to say, oh gee, i can handle all that negativity, i'll be fine - when God hasnt called you to it - would be going there on my own steam, and indicate some pride in me - some puffed up ego area - some self-esteem.

ramble ramble ramble!!!

 

[Rafael]

Self -esteem should be Christ esteem. The meaning of our lives should be found in the life Christ lives through us. The Bible tells us to die to self by picking up our cross daily, and following after the Lord. We naturally love ourselves, as the Bible says that no man hateth his own flesh, but nourishes it and cherishes it by feeding it and clothing it. These are the things Jesus asks us about when He returns. Did you feed me and clothe me? So love has much to do with action and not just feelings, and when we have died to self, Jesus becomes more and we become less. That is what the baptizm symbolizes: death to the old selfish life, and living to the new life in Christ.
We really forget all about self esteem issues when we realize that God in us can do anything and can overcome the world - even death.

Matt. 22:39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

Ephesians 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

Luke 9:23 And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.
24 For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: but whosoever will lose his life for my sake, the same shall save it.

 

[LuckyCharm]

from what i understand, we are to seek out the "man of peace" - nobody else will listen to the gospel, we would be throwing our pearls before swine, and they'll just bring us down. i have a responsibility to guard my eye-gates and ear-gates to keep negetivity, criticism, etc from poisoning me. a brief foray into enemy territory to scatter some seeds, sure, but not to "live" there, absorbing all that stuff into us. some people, however, have the gifting of God's grace to enable them to stay in that environment if they are so called to.

that being said, i dont know what that has to do with self esteem. i am supposed to die to myself, not puff me up. i would hazard a guess that for me to say, oh gee, i can handle all that negativity, i'll be fine - when God hasnt called you to it - would be going there on my own steam, and indicate some pride in me - some puffed up ego area - some self-esteem.

ramble ramble ramble!!!

Good points, Lynne!! Which brings up another idea -- how do we die to ourselves, in practical terms? Would fasting and other forms of self-mortification be useful, or is this more a spiritual "dying," giving preference to others rather than self?

(I might actually start another thread on that topic, but let's see if it goes anywhere here, first...)

~~Cheryl

 

[LynneClomina]

i think dying to self is a spiritual thing - not about what we "do" but about our attitude. we need to cultivate the attitude that we are "nothing" (and i dont mean that negatively, some people get really upset at that kind of term - but then it's their pride that get upset isnt it? our feeling that we must be good enough to not be nothing ) and Christ is everything. that we are on this planet for His pleasure. WE are His pleasure. our meaning and purpose comes from that. there is a song (from scripture) "not to us, but to Your Name, be the glory!". i am a footwasher, the least of all the disciples, a bondslave to Christ, He is my sufficiency; all MY righteousness is a filthy rags - wheras all righteousness i do that comes from Him is to HIS glory, not my own. all my belongings belong to Him, not to me. i have no belongings, i only steward His stuff for His glory for the purposes of His kingdom. yes i put others before me, not out of a desire to mortify myself, but out of a desire to glorify God. dying to self is not about "killing me" - it's about putting God ahead of EVERYTHING, most definately including me. when we put the focus on how "I" can die to self, we are not really dying to self - we are still focussing on self. we need to consciously turn our attention, our face, from ourselves to God, and Him alone. gee, am i perfect at it, far from it; but i purpose to do my best and to challenge myself at all times - am i putting God first?

when i truly see God's glory, i automatically die - becuase i am nothing next to him. i dont have to "kill" me. He does. when you see His glory you die. i am nothing next to Him, but i am everything TO Him. He takes pleasure in me. so everything i do should pleasure Him and not myself. He is my husband, i am His bride. i do everything i can to pleasure Him, to serve Him, to be intimate with Him. HE is the only true "soul mate" there is, i suppose.

gee, i have a long ways to go.

 

[LuckyCharm]

Wow, Lynne -- I am so impressed and uplifted by what you just wrote! Of course, it's nothing new (or shouldn't be!) to any Christian, but seeing it in your words just now brought it home to me afresh. Thank you, sister!

dying to self is not about "killing me" - it's about putting God ahead of EVERYTHING, most definately including me.

Good point! So, in practical terms, how do you put God ahead of everything? Is it by setting aside certain inviolable prayer times, or a certain portion of your income for the church? Is it by following the guidelines contained in Scripture to the letter, or by passively accepting everything that comes your way without complaint? (I write this while on a lengthy telephone hold with my local electric company, which was kind enough to shut off my power while I was deployed to Iraq, and wouldn't even reply to my email inquiries during that time, then charged me a nice little reconnection fee yesterday, promising to have my power restored by last night, but it's still not on, and there's no way I can go in there and start scraping off all the mold that's built up due to several months of no heat.... "All of our assistants are still busy...." WHAT WOULD JESUS DO OR SAY IN THIS SITUATION? If I'm having this sort of trouble, aren't a whole bunch of other customers, too? Isn't it time somebody lights a fire under these people?? Or is it more "godly" to meekly beg and grovel for my utility service, even though they have already gotten everything I might have owed them, and more?)

when we put the focus on how "I" can die to self, we are not really dying to self - we are still focussing on self.

Reminds me of something I read once, something to the effect that "my spiritual growth is none of my business." In other words, the more we are focusing on our own perception of our spiritual growth, the less we are focusing on God -- it's completely backward, a cunning trap of the self.

HE is the only true "soul mate" there is, i suppose.

How could it be otherwise? And yet, what about passionate married love? But that's a subject for a new thread, probably....

gee, i have a long ways to go.

I know how ya feel, sister.... I know how ya feel.

~~Cheryl

 

[LynneClomina]

Wow, Lynne -- I am so impressed and uplifted by what you just wrote! Of course, it's nothing new (or shouldn't be!) to any Christian, but seeing it in your words just now brought it home to me afresh. Thank you, sister!

thank you.... you bless me in telling me that my words ministered to your heart. to God be the glory...

Good point! So, in practical terms, how do you put God ahead of everything? Is it by setting aside certain inviolable prayer times, or a certain portion of your income for the church? Is it by following the guidelines contained in Scripture to the letter, or by passively accepting everything that comes your way without complaint?

uh, none of the above, perse. they are good things to do, yes, but it is not about outward actions, it is the inward heart. do i set aside certain inviolable prayer times because it's a good thing to do? or is it because i love my God and i want to spend some time with the Lover of my Soul??? do i follow the guidelines in the scripture (to the best that i am sincerely able to based on my level of understnding) because i need to get some points added to my total of doing holy stuff? or is it becuase i desire to please God and be pure for Him? to be His pure spotless bride? do i passively accept everything? i wouldnt say passively, to be sure, it is actively accepting that everything that happens is ordained of God and is intended for your growth - for example, when trouble comes, do you seek to fix it on your own steam? or do you take it as a lesson to rely on God, and result in drawing near to Him so that He will draw near to you? yeah, He does get us to act on injustices, but not always.

(I write this while on a lengthy telephone hold with my local electric company, which was kind enough to shut off my power while I was deployed to Iraq, and wouldn't even reply to my email inquiries during that time, then charged me a nice little reconnection fee yesterday, promising to have my power restored by last night, but it's still not on, and there's no way I can go in there and start scraping off all the mold that's built up due to several months of no heat.... "All of our assistants are still busy...." WHAT WOULD JESUS DO OR SAY IN THIS SITUATION? If I'm having this sort of trouble, aren't a whole bunch of other customers, too? Isn't it time somebody lights a fire under these people??

very well may be. and if that is what you are feeling convicted to do for righteousness sake, then that may be what you are called to do here. but if it is out of frustration and anger, then it is probably for the wrong reasons - like vengeance, for example. ouch. hard truth to consider, eh?

Or is it more "godly" to meekly beg and grovel for my utility service, even though they have already gotten everything I might have owed them, and more?)

remember - the definition of meekness is not "weakness", it is "quiet strength". so, i would say, it would be more "godly" to make your legitimate complaint to the utility, not out of anger or attitude, in firmness, and then go to God and say, Lord, you are in ultimate control over my utilities - they turn off the heat, but You ordain their hands to do so - therefore, Lord, what are you trying to teach me? What are you trying to work into the fabric of my being to make me more like you? Lord, may i be teachable and open to learning what Your plan for me is in light of eternity. Make me who You want me to be. May this lesson not fall on deaf ears or a cold, bitter heart. Help me, Lord, to not be angry, becuase vengeance belongs to You, and You only. I trust You Lord, to both take care of my needs, and to mold this lump of clay that i am into the shape that you want me to be. Your word says to count it all joy when you fall into various trials - help me Lord to understand that, and to do so, even when i cannot comprehend the eternal purpose you have in this struggle i am facing. i pray Lord that you would help me to realize that all struggle in my life is for my benefit, becuase your word says that you work all things according to the counsel of Your will. i choose to trust You in that, Lord, and not give into my fears. You are a good God, and will never fail me. thank You, Lord........eek, sorry, long and wordy......

Reminds me of something I read once, something to the effect that "my spiritual growth is none of my business." In other words, the more we are focusing on our own perception of our spiritual growth, the less we are focusing on God -- it's completely backward, a cunning trap of the self.

yeah, pretty much!

How could it be otherwise? And yet, what about passionate married love? But that's a subject for a new thread, probably....

i believe in the notion of one person being the person God has for us, at that time.....i jsut dont know if "soul mate" is the right term, for anything, i dunno....

I know how ya feel, sister.... I know how ya feel.

~~Cheryl

thanks. i'm sorry stuff is a mess right now (ugh, i'm allergic to mold...) i pray (and trust!) that God will bring you through this. God bless ya!!!

Lynne

 

[relientKchic]

I just read all of the posts before this one. and I agree with all that you said. and I know that it's based on My Fathers Words. and I respect you for that. but somehow it doens't really seem personal. you know? I feel that way a lot with the scriptures, I feel like yes they apply to me and I know that if I was the only person on this world everything would have still happened. Jesus would have still died for me. but knowing and understanding are two diffrent things. now I have always strugled with low self esteem. but I took it beyond the normal every now then "well I messed that up I must be stupid" it was a constant thing that the devil kept throwing up in my face. that I was a human that didn't have the right to even say the name of Jesus because of all that I had done. and I know better now. but I don't think that either high self esteem or low self esteem are good things. like everything you have to find that perfect balance. because if you have to high of a self -esteem then you think that you are the main reason why people live their lives. *maybe not that bad) but you think that you are so speacail that you don't need anyone else. and of course as a Christian that is majorly wrong. and we can't think that. but to low of a self esteem is a bad thing as well. because even if you have low self esteem it doen't help you to focus on God. you still focus on yourself you just think that you aren't worth the air you are breathing. and of course that wrong as well. because God has given us all that we have. I have to daily remind myself that I can't do anything without Jesus I can't even breath. and I have to repeat that to myself everyday. or else I think that God doesn't even care about me. and that is majorly wrong! we are all put here for a reason. and yes that reason is to glorify God, and yes we were made and put here by God, and we can't do anything without him. but we should remember that he loves us. and that he gave us everything we have for a reason. and that reason is to glorify him. now if we keep it to ourselves because we don't think that anyone will listen to us we are worse off then those that scream it at everyone. and soves the Word in people faces. one turn people away but they still hear it. the other no-one even hears it. and you speaking up useing the gifts that God gave you is the best thing you can do. you have to remember that God is in control and that he will give you the words to speak but you have to trust the work he's done in you and trust him to give you the words and speak what he tells you or else no-one will hear it and God will not be glorified. at least thats the way I see it. now I know that I don't know everything. and I know that I am curently strugling with this so I might not be the best person to say something about this. but my mom once told me that the students the strugle with Math will be the best teachers of the subject. because they understand what the strugling students are going through. and I think that is also applied to live or at least should be.

so it's not a good thing to think that you know everything and that you have all the answers (I know I don't fit that) but it's also bad to think that you are so bad that no-one will listen to you. as for the sharing the Lord with people. I think that God gives some people the gift of evanglism, and for some people it's relly eay to share the gospel, and for others(like me) it's really hard to talk to people about God. but you just have to find another way to share the Lord with people. for me I can't just go up to a stranger and talk to them about my life, and it's really hard for me to share my testimony in front of people, but I love to share the Lord with people through Drama, and singing. an dI have no problem talking ot people on-line about Christ. and I seriously think that that is my calling. everyone is called to share the Love of Christ. but not all are called to shout it from the town square. if that makes sence.

anyway I could be way off. but thats how it's personal for me.
Hope that was of some help to anyone.

Je-Je

 

[Caelum]

All too often I think a lot of Christians feel they must isolate themselves from the outside world, a world of sin as it is. However if Jesus is willing to go down into the depths of hell, why would you avoid what is right outside your front door?