I wanted to find out other peoples views on christian and non-christian romantic relationships. I personally dont know exactly what to think...I mean it says "do not be yoked with unbelievers"...but what if the other person does believe in the existence of God but just doesnt quite understand yet what it truly means to be a christian? Is it wrong to be with someone and hope that one day they will too be saved? I know it also says that if you are married to a non believer, dont divorce them, stay with them for they are sanctified through you...Im a bit confused...any help would be most appreciated!
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Christian in love with non-christian
- Thread starter KahlanAmnell
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intricatic
...a dinosaur... or something...
Hey, I was agnostic when I met the girl I'm with now. Thankfully she opened my eyes to a whole world of spirituality that I never knew existed. I think it's okay so long as the person isn't militantly atheist or satanist, or the other person dosn't have more of an influence on you than you have on him / her.
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Zaac
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KahlanAmnell said:
Kahlan, Kahlan, Kahlan. If that person has not expressed to you that there has been a time in his life that he has accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, do not pursue it.
You can remain friends and hopefully continue to witness Christ and use the opportunities that God places in front of you to be used by Him to farther reveal Himself in hopes that this other person will be saved.
But from a romantic perspective you run the risk of this person being a stumbling block for you and him influencing you instead of you influencing him for Christ.
Christians who marry people who are unsaved are in direct disobedience to God. But because of the way God feels about marriage, He allows for the Christian to remain in such a marriage for the sake of the spouse possibly becoming sanctified through the witness of the saved spouse.
I have seen people who have been together for 50 years where one or the other had been praying that the spouse would come into a relationship with Christ and Christ has heard those prayers and saved someone. Prasie His name!
But to be yoked with an unbeliever is not in God's order. It produces confusion in the home for the spouses and any children who may be involved. Doing it God's way alleviates so many problems.
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intricatic
...a dinosaur... or something...
Jipsah said:
Sometimes I have to wonder if people are serious when they say stuff like this.
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Dating or marriage as a missionary outreach is a poor practice. Believe in Jesus and we can get married just seems to warp the Gospel message.
One of the reasons is that people can do things for awhile to pretend to be something they are not.
Girl dates non-christian guy.
After awhile guy decides he will "try" christianity in order to please girl.
He doesn't actually become a christian.
Couple gets married.
After awhile, guy decides all that christianity stuff is just hooey.
Now the girl finds herself married to nonchristian who wants to be married to her. She is effectively stuck unless he decides to leave.
Trying to change others is usually an exercise in futility.
Believers should not marry unbelievers and you really shouldn't date someone who you wouldn't marry, or else you get into this I shouldn't but I love him situation. (Sexes of participants can be reversed of course)
There are people who come to the Lord through the actions of a boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse, praise the Lord. There are many people who sentence themselves to a life full of problems because they make the assumption that such will be the case with the unbeliever they are dating. It is unwise to make such an assumption, the truth is that you do not know.
Dating or marrying an unbeliever is really showing that that isn't all that important to you. What could be more important? Is the person's height, weight, looks, car, bank account, race, age, etc. of more importance than the person having a relationship with God? That would seem to me to be putting more importance on the perishable than the imperishable.
If you find yourself in that situation, I think you need to spend some time with God to find out why your priorities are worldly and not heavenly.
Marv
One of the reasons is that people can do things for awhile to pretend to be something they are not.
Girl dates non-christian guy.
After awhile guy decides he will "try" christianity in order to please girl.
He doesn't actually become a christian.
Couple gets married.
After awhile, guy decides all that christianity stuff is just hooey.
Now the girl finds herself married to nonchristian who wants to be married to her. She is effectively stuck unless he decides to leave.
Trying to change others is usually an exercise in futility.
Believers should not marry unbelievers and you really shouldn't date someone who you wouldn't marry, or else you get into this I shouldn't but I love him situation. (Sexes of participants can be reversed of course)
There are people who come to the Lord through the actions of a boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse, praise the Lord. There are many people who sentence themselves to a life full of problems because they make the assumption that such will be the case with the unbeliever they are dating. It is unwise to make such an assumption, the truth is that you do not know.
Dating or marrying an unbeliever is really showing that that isn't all that important to you. What could be more important? Is the person's height, weight, looks, car, bank account, race, age, etc. of more importance than the person having a relationship with God? That would seem to me to be putting more importance on the perishable than the imperishable.
If you find yourself in that situation, I think you need to spend some time with God to find out why your priorities are worldly and not heavenly.
Marv
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intricatic
...a dinosaur... or something...
Indeed, but it depends on the outlook and the depth of the guy.BigNorsk said:
EDIT: And it also depends on the situation. I think most people need to re-establish their priorities and hierarchy of reality.
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A
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KahlanAmnell said:
S.Paul was talking about who was married before becoming christian.
If one becomes christian before the marrage then why he/she doesn't
marry a christian..partner?
The marriage is the mirror of their spirits.......
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Chajara
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My boyfriend is agnostic, and was militant about it when I first met him (we didn't date right away, but quickly became best friends.) We've been together 8 and a half months now and he's lightened up quite a bit about it, and has even pursued some information on spirituality.
I stressed over it at first, but the more we fell in love the less I worried, and now we're convinced that we'll be married. God has already performed a few small miracles that have left no doubt in my mind that he's the one. So I assume he'll come around sometime.
Still though, if it's really bothering you then tread cautiously. Always keep your ears open for a conviction that tells you whether this relationship was meant to be a learning experience or the real deal.
I stressed over it at first, but the more we fell in love the less I worried, and now we're convinced that we'll be married. God has already performed a few small miracles that have left no doubt in my mind that he's the one. So I assume he'll come around sometime.
Still though, if it's really bothering you then tread cautiously. Always keep your ears open for a conviction that tells you whether this relationship was meant to be a learning experience or the real deal.
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Zaac said:
Huh Zaac.? I dont read that in the scripture at all!
To me it clearly says they ARE sanctified through the believing spouse.
Can you expound more on your comment please ?
thanks kindly
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KahlanAmnell said:
Kahlan I think to get a fair idea of what God means you nead to go into the original text your quoting and find the exact meaning and why they used that particular word "unbeliever" given to that part of the text.
It is easy for people to misinterpret the true or real meaning of a particular scripture, oer add more to the meaning than was intended, I have seen this happen alot.
Also you need to keep in mind that Gods word is a "living word" and when you read it you will know that God is speaking to you about a certain important situation like this.
You said that the person is a believer in God and so that is a BIG plus !
Have you tried to witnesss to them to take them a step further in finding out about Jesus ? It seems to me, that this would be the next step to do at the appropriate time.
As far as marrying a christian goes. You can easily marry a person that gives the illusion of being a christian or says they are one, only to find years down the track or even sooner, that you were sadly mistaken.
I knew a lovely young girl who was small in her faith but liked to serve God.
She married into what seemed a wonderful family that had been christians all their lives.
She was a model wife and mother and a fantastic daughter in law and yet recieved no support at all from the family when her husband abused her and the kids, as well often got drunk and blamed her for all his problems he was having. All they did was support him
You really need to trust and seek God about your question and Im sure in time he will make it more clear to you.
You will find when it comes to situations like you describe the answer is not always black or white.
kind regards
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