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Christian Dating

Discussion in 'Courting Couples' started by Aabbie James, Sep 20, 2019.

  1. Aabbie James

    Aabbie James A Slave of Christ Jesus

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    What is the purpose for dating?
    What biblical principles apply?

    Should believers ever date non-believers?
     
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  2. mothcorrupteth

    mothcorrupteth Old Whig Monarchist, Classically Realpolitik

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    The purpose of dating is to:
    1. Gain social experience in meeting someone else's needs.
    2. Provide the familiarity upon which the greater commitment of marriage can be founded.
    3. Establish in the community a reputation for ethical or unethical behavior.
    It's hard to imagine any principles that do not apply. Just going through the last half of the Ten Commandments, you shouldn't:
    1. Disrespect the other person's social responsibilities to parents or friends, but rather honor their prior relationships with the person.
    2. Aggress against the other person, whether physically or emotionally, but rather show benevolence.
    3. Engage in any sexual or romantic ties to the other person that is exploitative of their self-interest, or that conflicts with pre-established sexual or romantic ties with another person.
    4. Waste or "steal" the person's resources with a relationship that only you benefit from (and conversely, waste or "steal" your own resources on a relationship that only benefits the other person).
    5. Lie about anything, or otherwise break the other person's trust.
    Believers should only date non-believers if they show a reliable commitment to becoming a believer as part of continuing the relationship. If they show no interest in joining your religion, cut your losses.
     
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  3. yeshuaslavejeff

    yeshuaslavejeff simple truth, martyr, disciple of Yahshua

    +8,942
    Anabaptist
    Worldly acceptance, personal pleasure, fleshly / carnal desires.

    Don't date.

    No.
     
  4. ajcarey

    ajcarey Active Member

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    The Bible knows nothing of the concept of dating. It is an invention of man that has caused much immorality and unnecessary suffering.

    2 Corinthians 6:14-18 rules out the possibility that it would ever be righteous for a Christian to enter into romantic involvement with a non-Christian. Obviously those who become Christians after marriage have directions given to them in 1 Corinthians chapter 7, yet that is because God considers our circumstances and knows that those who become Christians after marriage need answers to their complicated situation which they have no control over being in. It is provoking God to put ourselves into such a situation after we've known Him and know that His Word directs that a believer in Christ not be unequally yoked with an unbeliever.
     
  5. Anthony7

    Anthony7 Rigatoni

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    Dating is supposed to be a way of getting to know someone, with the intent of marriage later on. Although, it's a modern phenomena, and is often used as a form of marriage without the commitment. Many dating couples share a level of intimacy that should be reserved for marriage. But, without the legal contract, there's no reason to stick around long-term, and it often leads to a break up / broken hearts later on.

    Dating - in my opinion - should best be approached from a traditional matter, i.e. courtship. Courting is a way of seriously getting to know a potential partner, with marriage in mind, and from a Biblical perspective. Physical and emotional intimacy is reserved for only after marriage takes place, and physical touch is usually restrained for the most part (with the exception of a kiss on the cheek or holding hands). The families of both parties are also directly involved, usually meeting the suitor in advance.

    I don't think it's wise to date an unbeliever, even though they may be very attractive and may seem like great marriage material. The person we date will have the most significant impact on us and our walk with God, which is why the Bible advises us to not be unequally yoked. I once advised a friend of mine (who identified as a Christian) not to marry an unbeliever, but he did so anyway. Ever since, I noticed a change in him over time as he drifted more and more from God. Someone who isn't mature spiritually (or who doesn't love God / isn't yielded to the Holy Spirit) can also be used by the enemy to attack the marriage, or the believer themselves. Since we share the deepest level of intimacy possible with our partner, the most significant attacks from the enemy can also come from the person we're married to.

    So in short, it's best to wait for God's best, and to maintain prayer with Him when considering a partner. Dating - and marriage especially - can be a very exciting adventure to partake in. :oldthumbsup: But, should also be approached carefully and with discernment.
     
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2019
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  6. Carl Emerson

    Carl Emerson Well-Known Member

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    Personally I don't see scriptural support for dating non-believers.

    Rather I see clear teaching against being unequally yoked.

    It is also possible to be unequally yoked to a believer.

    Wisdom and caution needed - it is a huge decision that will dictate the course of your life.
     
  7. RaymondG

    RaymondG Well-Known Member

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    You're into arranged marriages then huh?

    There is a TV show, "Married at first sight" that might interest you
     
  8. yeshuaslavejeff

    yeshuaslavejeff simple truth, martyr, disciple of Yahshua

    +8,942
    Anabaptist
    Mocking assumption or honest question ? (nothing like that (worldly desires, delights and promotions) anywhere interests me)

    Are we to follow Jesus, or the society that is opposed to Jesus ?

    What did Yahuweh (the Creator) DO and what did He Teach and Train His People to DO?
     
  9. RaymondG

    RaymondG Well-Known Member

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    To see if your personalities are compatible....If you share the same interests etc....
    If you would have a friend, show yourself to be friendly.
    Do unto others as you would have done unto you.
    Love your neighbor as yourself.

    You are free to date whoever you would like to date......and free to receive the same treatment from others, who believe differently from you, that you give to one who believes differently than you do.
     
  10. RaymondG

    RaymondG Well-Known Member

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    Why not just give an answer? Do you believe marriages should be arranged? Or all become eunuchs?

    Do you prefer that others assume your position and respond based on assumption, or is it ok to ask and not assume?
     
  11. yeshuaslavejeff

    yeshuaslavejeff simple truth, martyr, disciple of Yahshua

    +8,942
    Anabaptist
    Are we to follow Jesus, or go along with the pernicious society and false teachers that are opposed to Jesus ?

    What did Yahuweh (the Creator) DO and what did He Teach and Train His People to DO?

    Seeking Yahuweh's Kingdom leads down a much much much different road

    than going along on the wide road .....
     
  12. RaymondG

    RaymondG Well-Known Member

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    Excellent questions. Why not start a new thread with these questions as the topic? What value is there in introducing additional questions in threads started by another who needs their questions answered?

    What does this mean practically? You say dont date, and when asked any further questions, you only have more questions to give.

    The bible speaks about a person whose house was swept clean and left empty. eventually the end state of that person was worse than the beginning.

    One should be able to explain what CAN be done, before explaining what cannot be done.

    "20 Wherefore if ye be dead with Christ from the rudiments of the world, why, as though living in the world, are ye subject to ordinances,
    21 (Touch not; taste not; handle not;
    22 Which all are to perish with the using; )after the commandments and doctrines of men?"
     
  13. David Neos

    David Neos Catechumen

    +3,576
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    This. Even within Christianity when you have more than 80,000 denominations which might believe in different stuff. That's why if I date a Christian, I will make sure she is interested in Orthodoxy.
     
  14. yeshuaslavejeff

    yeshuaslavejeff simple truth, martyr, disciple of Yahshua

    +8,942
    Anabaptist
    I think you answered your own question here, with Scripture, and that's great!

    We who have died in Christ, are "dead to the world, and the world is dead to us".

    No desire to date, gamble, get drunk, seek worldly/fleshly entertainment, etc etc etc....
     
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  15. Swan7

    Swan7 Made in the image of His Grace Supporter

    +6,711
    Canada
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    This is my personal opinion.
    There is no purpose for dating, at least for me it was always a dead end. This is actually part of my testimony before coming to Christ and after.

    From what I read in the Bible, God ordained marriages for those who were right in His sight for His people. However, His people did go off and marry non-believers and it got them in a LOAD of trouble - and no longer worshiped the One True God.

    Absolutely not. Unless God brings together a believer and a non-believer; (or one that is seeking God) for that unsaved person to eventually become saved through God's work through that believer. Paul talks about this in Ephesians. (And yes, I understand the context of what Paul was saying when a couple are already married prior to making a commitment to Christ, but it doesn't make it any less true IF God were to bring together those who can be eventually saved).
    :yellowheart:
     
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2019
  16. Carl Emerson

    Carl Emerson Well-Known Member

    +1,357
    New Zealand
    Christian
    Married
    Must say I take this issue very seriously having sustained a failed seven year marriage in unequal yoke then after a ten year wait for the wrong lady, an arranged marriage by our friends upstairs that blew me away... That was 33 years and 5 children ago.
     
  17. AlexDTX

    AlexDTX Well-Known Member Supporter

    +2,515
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    The way of God is arranged marriage, not dating. I don't mean the parents deciding who you should marry, although God uses that. I mean, He arranges the marriage by choosing your mate for you.

    How does that come about? As Pastor Nelson said in his Song of Solomon series, "Run after God as fast as you can, then look to your side to see who is running with you."

    Practically that means, be involved with people who are pursuing the Lord and God will have the right one cross your path and will let you know it.
     
  18. mothcorrupteth

    mothcorrupteth Old Whig Monarchist, Classically Realpolitik

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    Which you pretty much have to do, because popular opinion is that there aren't enough Ortho-babes to meet the number of Protestants who are converting to Ortho-bro.
     
  19. David Neos

    David Neos Catechumen

    +3,576
    Ecuador
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    You should definitely check my thread:
    What makes men be attracted by Orthodoxy?
     
  20. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla ❤️ Supporter

    +4,750
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    I don’t agree with dating unbelievers and was never told it was permissible during the period I labored for another. It was proper to show love, kindness, and encouragement within defined boundaries which eliminated impropriety and sin.

    But to cross the line and become romantically involved with someone who is not a believer and justify the behavior as missional or evangelism that disguises your decision to transgress His precepts (in deference to your own) is errant.

    You are lying to yourself and this rarely ends well. Oftentimes the believer falls away. Lee Strobel addresses this in Surviving a Spiritual Mismatch.
     
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2019
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