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Chores
- Thread starter Goodbook
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- Jan 22, 2011
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I just enrolled for mystery shopping.
I can do dishes. I do dishes every day, I do my own laundry, I do mum and dads. I take out the trash and recycle. I do my own room, clean, sweep, dust (not every week but regular enough)
My worst chore is cleaning the bathroom and toilet, windows, and mopping. Mum wants me to do this as well, but Im no good at it. Because of all her stuff in the way, and if I move it so its not in the way she yells at me for moving it. Every single week without fail she complains about it.
But i do the laundry and dishes everyday and never complain. I dont expect her to do the breakfast and lunch dishes, when she leaves me her breakfast dishes, i dont leave it until dinnertime, like some ppl do.
I used to make her breakfast in bed every morning but then she started complaining i woke her up too early.
I can do dishes. I do dishes every day, I do my own laundry, I do mum and dads. I take out the trash and recycle. I do my own room, clean, sweep, dust (not every week but regular enough)
My worst chore is cleaning the bathroom and toilet, windows, and mopping. Mum wants me to do this as well, but Im no good at it. Because of all her stuff in the way, and if I move it so its not in the way she yells at me for moving it. Every single week without fail she complains about it.
But i do the laundry and dishes everyday and never complain. I dont expect her to do the breakfast and lunch dishes, when she leaves me her breakfast dishes, i dont leave it until dinnertime, like some ppl do.
I used to make her breakfast in bed every morning but then she started complaining i woke her up too early.
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- Jan 22, 2011
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I also shop for groceries. She never has driven me anywhere. I pay for all the petrol car maintenance, everything. She has a licence, but doesnt drive.
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- Jan 22, 2011
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As far as I know, my dad has never cleaned the toilet, done any kind of mopping or swept the floor.
He does sweep the yard though and cut the lawn, and I never hear him complain about doing it the way my mum complains every single time she has to do the inside.
Shes just trying to lump her job on me.
If I had my own place I would do it without complaint. Even if I had children I would not lump it on them to do, only if they wanted to or we agreeed to take turns or I gave them bit of pocket money to do it. She has never given me pocket money.
He does sweep the yard though and cut the lawn, and I never hear him complain about doing it the way my mum complains every single time she has to do the inside.
Shes just trying to lump her job on me.
If I had my own place I would do it without complaint. Even if I had children I would not lump it on them to do, only if they wanted to or we agreeed to take turns or I gave them bit of pocket money to do it. She has never given me pocket money.
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I just wrote a long reply but accidentally deleted it. Maybe it was a sign that I need to shut up! 
I'm sorry for sounding judgemental. I don't want to judge you, and the way I posted was because to me it seemed that maybe you have more of a problem in your communication with your mother than with chores. Usually if it seems to someone that there's no way you could show someone else how to clean correctly then a big part of the problem is in their mind.
I wanted to communicate to you that maybe you need to discuss this with your mother, because maybe she has made a habit of nagging, which is difficult to get rid of especially if no one confronts her about it and support the change toward a healthier way of acting. But it's also quite terrible to everyone else around, it makes them angry (and you seem a bit angry at her if you don't mind me saying). And some others the habit takes over, like your brother, who, like you said, is overtly strict about cleaning too. I wanted to say it this way because I think habitual naggers won't change their ways no matter how much everyone else tries to do better and more. They always find something else to nag about. If you live with a habitual nagger you'll need to be the active part in making a better atmosphere into your home. That was my main point.
As to dividing chores justly, I think the person who's got most time at home will need to do most chores. That way everyone gets an equal share of free time too. None of us certainly know how your time is divided so we can't tell how much you'd be able to do. In our family, when we didn't yet have a clear division of chores we used to have more arguments and nagging about them one way and the other. Then we decided that he goes to work, does the heating (we heat with electricity and we have a fireplace) and some certain outside work (like mowing the lawn) and is in charge for having things around the house repaired. He also takes care of everything concerning the car because he's the only one in the family who drives. The car is more like an extra to us though because we doesn't usually need it for work or any regular shopping etc... I take care of the children, unless specifically agreed otherwise (I get to go running by myslef 2-3 times a week and then there's special occasions when he helps with the kids), that's about 90% of the time. I buy the groceries and make the food most of the time but he sometimes helps in the weekend. I also do all dishes and all laundry and all cleaning. Sometimes (like once or twice a month) he helps with the cleaning, mostly be taking care of the children while I do it.
The oldest child is two now so he and his yournger brother don't really do any chores other then making a mess for the time being. We try to gradually teach them to pick up their toys though and when they get older they'll get to learn some chores with us. As long as they go to school and / or work I don't think we'll make them do much more then cleaning up their own mess. For example, they'd be required to clean their own rooms, and to leave the common rooms such as the kitchen and living room like they were or a little bit cleaner then before they came (that is, they'd wash their own dishes, put trash in the bin and throw away the full trash bag, wipe the table after eating etc.). And then occasionally, they would be asked to help on cleaning days or some other chores they're good at. But then they'd be also expected to study / go to shcool full time or to some sort of work or then do something about it. If they didn't then I suppose we'd have to evaluate their situation again and rethink the stuff they did again and maybe help them move on.
I'm sorry for sounding judgemental. I don't want to judge you, and the way I posted was because to me it seemed that maybe you have more of a problem in your communication with your mother than with chores. Usually if it seems to someone that there's no way you could show someone else how to clean correctly then a big part of the problem is in their mind.
I wanted to communicate to you that maybe you need to discuss this with your mother, because maybe she has made a habit of nagging, which is difficult to get rid of especially if no one confronts her about it and support the change toward a healthier way of acting. But it's also quite terrible to everyone else around, it makes them angry (and you seem a bit angry at her if you don't mind me saying). And some others the habit takes over, like your brother, who, like you said, is overtly strict about cleaning too. I wanted to say it this way because I think habitual naggers won't change their ways no matter how much everyone else tries to do better and more. They always find something else to nag about. If you live with a habitual nagger you'll need to be the active part in making a better atmosphere into your home. That was my main point.
As to dividing chores justly, I think the person who's got most time at home will need to do most chores. That way everyone gets an equal share of free time too. None of us certainly know how your time is divided so we can't tell how much you'd be able to do. In our family, when we didn't yet have a clear division of chores we used to have more arguments and nagging about them one way and the other. Then we decided that he goes to work, does the heating (we heat with electricity and we have a fireplace) and some certain outside work (like mowing the lawn) and is in charge for having things around the house repaired. He also takes care of everything concerning the car because he's the only one in the family who drives. The car is more like an extra to us though because we doesn't usually need it for work or any regular shopping etc... I take care of the children, unless specifically agreed otherwise (I get to go running by myslef 2-3 times a week and then there's special occasions when he helps with the kids), that's about 90% of the time. I buy the groceries and make the food most of the time but he sometimes helps in the weekend. I also do all dishes and all laundry and all cleaning. Sometimes (like once or twice a month) he helps with the cleaning, mostly be taking care of the children while I do it.
The oldest child is two now so he and his yournger brother don't really do any chores other then making a mess for the time being.
We try to gradually teach them to pick up their toys though and when they get older they'll get to learn some chores with us. As long as they go to school and / or work I don't think we'll make them do much more then cleaning up their own mess. For example, they'd be required to clean their own rooms, and to leave the common rooms such as the kitchen and living room like they were or a little bit cleaner then before they came (that is, they'd wash their own dishes, put trash in the bin and throw away the full trash bag, wipe the table after eating etc.). And then occasionally, they would be asked to help on cleaning days or some other chores they're good at. But then they'd be also expected to study / go to shcool full time or to some sort of work or then do something about it. If they didn't then I suppose we'd have to evaluate their situation again and rethink the stuff they did again and maybe help them move on.
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ValleyGal
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If you're not good at certain chores, then maybe this is the perfect opportunity for you to become better at them! When I was young, I hated vacuuming and was not good at it, but the more I did it, the better I got over the years. I still don't like it, but there are always going to be chores we like more than other chores. Whether we like them or not, we still have to do them. If your mom tells you to wash the windows and her stuff is in the way, you can always say "sure, I will wash the windows when there is not a lot of stuff blocking the way."
In my family, we are all expected to pick up after ourselves and we all do our own laundry. We also typically just do a chore when we see it needs to be done. If I do not do a chore up to my husband's standards, he will fix what he thinks is not good enough, and vice versa. When I work more hours, he does more at home, and vice versa. Even when we don't like it.
In my family, we are all expected to pick up after ourselves and we all do our own laundry. We also typically just do a chore when we see it needs to be done. If I do not do a chore up to my husband's standards, he will fix what he thinks is not good enough, and vice versa. When I work more hours, he does more at home, and vice versa. Even when we don't like it.
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seashale76
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My husband and I don't have kids. We're very laid back regarding chores. We don't have schedules. We just do what needs to be done when we decide it needs to be done. We don't divvy it up.
For example, I'll walk into my kitchen, look at the floor and think that it needs to either be swept or mopped. So, I'll do it right then.
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- Jan 22, 2011
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I do pick up after myself, its just everytime i neglect to do it, mum with her eagle eye pounces on me. Its tiring. My sister used to do this as well, it was extremely annoying, like instantly, if I so much as dropped a crumb, she would nag.
Having this constant nagging hasnt made me any tidier. In fact, its making me worse. I do not do the same for her. Maybe I should nag back?
Eg. She leaves her toothpicks and wadded up tissues on the coffee table.
Having this constant nagging hasnt made me any tidier. In fact, its making me worse. I do not do the same for her. Maybe I should nag back?
Eg. She leaves her toothpicks and wadded up tissues on the coffee table.
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- Jan 22, 2011
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Studying, Writing, finding a job, helping with school, hosting radio, gardening, visiting friends in need, shopping, all this does not equal..stay at home all day with NOTHING to do, so I know, I'll clean.
I am just not a cleaning person unless someone pays me, (ive had a house cleaning job before) but when I suggested this to mum, she laughed and said that mean I had to pay her to cook.
Then i said, I can cook. My own food you know. I buy my own food. Or get takeaway. But she refuses.
So, I dont know. Its not something I wanna spend time doing. Vaccuming. Ok once in a while. Unless theres a fun way to sweep the floor without all this stuff everywhere. I. Even bought my own broom etc and mum put it in the garage and said i didnt need to use it i had to do it her way. Arrgh.
Yes, there is sometimes a language barrier. I speak english, she speaks nagging language.
I am just not a cleaning person unless someone pays me, (ive had a house cleaning job before) but when I suggested this to mum, she laughed and said that mean I had to pay her to cook.
Then i said, I can cook. My own food you know. I buy my own food. Or get takeaway. But she refuses.
So, I dont know. Its not something I wanna spend time doing. Vaccuming. Ok once in a while. Unless theres a fun way to sweep the floor without all this stuff everywhere. I. Even bought my own broom etc and mum put it in the garage and said i didnt need to use it i had to do it her way. Arrgh.
Yes, there is sometimes a language barrier. I speak english, she speaks nagging language.
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- Jan 22, 2011
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Btw the carpet hasnt been replaced for over 40'years. Its so threadbare, theres another carpet on top.
And the floor, even if i clean it you cant tell if its really clean, as the lino is over 40 years old too. I asked mum if we were ever gonna get new carpet but that was years ago. Sigh. I even got a quote done but..so far, nothings happening. Grr
And the floor, even if i clean it you cant tell if its really clean, as the lino is over 40 years old too. I asked mum if we were ever gonna get new carpet but that was years ago. Sigh. I even got a quote done but..so far, nothings happening. Grr
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This one kind of made me chuckle or at least smile inside.
Well for starters it is scenario dependent., but I believe in equality and fair sharing across the household in reference to chores, and yes even though we may not like them at a younger age we learn to accept and find them interesting at an older age. They become a generalized healthy habit. Chores should be evenly distributed or at least agreed upon between parents, but the children should provide substantial support to maintenance and other duties required.
LOVE and respect one another by doing what is asked of us(if of course moral in GOD's eyes)and without complaining. Find meaning in the duties and excel @ them within your heart. GOD favors a humble heart and do not be discouraged...DO IT FOR GOD the heavenly father and your mind set will change.
Remembering diligence and devotion are equally sound and of value.
Learned to honor hard work for a faithful TRUE believer is a hard-worker and toils not only physically, but spiritually so as to reach the GOAL and help others reach the finish line as well. Be a light on a lamp stand so others in the dark may see.
Praise be to GOD the heavenly father and his son lord JESUS CHRIST forever>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Well for starters it is scenario dependent., but I believe in equality and fair sharing across the household in reference to chores, and yes even though we may not like them at a younger age we learn to accept and find them interesting at an older age. They become a generalized healthy habit. Chores should be evenly distributed or at least agreed upon between parents, but the children should provide substantial support to maintenance and other duties required.
LOVE and respect one another by doing what is asked of us(if of course moral in GOD's eyes)and without complaining. Find meaning in the duties and excel @ them within your heart. GOD favors a humble heart and do not be discouraged...DO IT FOR GOD the heavenly father and your mind set will change.
Remembering diligence and devotion are equally sound and of value.
Learned to honor hard work for a faithful TRUE believer is a hard-worker and toils not only physically, but spiritually so as to reach the GOAL and help others reach the finish line as well. Be a light on a lamp stand so others in the dark may see.
Praise be to GOD the heavenly father and his son lord JESUS CHRIST forever>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
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- Jan 22, 2011
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Its trash day today so I went to take the garbage out and mum yelled at me and said i had to take it out next week. But gross! I dont want week old garbage hanging round the house.
I think she thinks if the bag isnt full to bursting, shes gonna save money by keeping it back for a week or something. I disobeyed and put it out anyway.
She didnt rush to bring all the garbage back inside...
I think she thinks if the bag isnt full to bursting, shes gonna save money by keeping it back for a week or something. I disobeyed and put it out anyway.
She didnt rush to bring all the garbage back inside...
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Well it does seem you're indeed doing a lot! I hope this chore issue will soon settle for the better so that you can concentrate on the parts of your life that are important to you instead of household work.
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- Jan 22, 2011
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Thanks for the responses everyone. Doing things for the Lord can help me, like I know God likes things clean, but He also knows my weaknesses and that really we cant clean ourselves up like Jesus can. Hes much more forgiving than my mum!
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