Chores

[Goodbook]

how are chores worked out in your household?
Do you take turns, do them together, set aside a day, or do it throughout the week?
Any rewards for doing them?

What does the bible say about chores?
What if you hate doing them?

 

[NothingIsImpossible]

Well it depends on the situation. Your status says your single so that means your not married. Are you under 18 and at home? Chores are good foundation for when you live on your own. I do mine through out the week. More so the ones that you can't put off like doing dishes...etc. Well no one totally enjoys chores. Obviously they take time you may want to do other things. But they have to get done. And if you ever want to be with someone in the future, not doing chores will create a big problem. As a kid I was reward for doing them. My reward now is knowing I did them and have time to myself. Biblically we all have things we have to do in life.


Colossians 3:20
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

That aside there are lots of varied verses about chores online. Just go to Yahoo or something and put the words "Chores" and "bible".

 

[Aino]

I agree with the above poster on this. I also like doing them throughout the week mostly, just to avoid a catastrophe and to make sure it also looks ok enough every day. In the end we enjoy living in a clean home even though chores aren't exactly our favourite hobbies. We also have a cleaning day every Friday for whatever cleaning we haven't done by then.

Right now I'm a stay-at-home mum of two small children (2 years and 7 months) so naturally I do most chores at the moment and my husband helps as much as he can, depending on how busy he's at work and on whether there's something specific I'd need help with. It will change though when the kids get older and I get to go to work. Then surely my husband will do more and gradually the children will learn to do their share too.

And what if you hate them? Well no one loves them, but well.. Someone has to do them unless you want to have your whole home ruined as well as your clothes, dishes etc.! So just learn to live with them. Maybe it were nicer to do them while listening to music or something?

Well you're on the christian advice forum right now, so maybe you expect some sort of biblical advice? Well the advice the Bible has for you depends on your situation! For those living with their parents, the general advice would be that you need to respect and obey to your parents. So if they expect you to do certain chores then you'd have to do them, unless you have a special reason and even then you'd need to negotiate it with the parents! The same could be generally applied to any relationship where you live with an older relative or rent a room from any older person / a family, I suppose. Well, chores are in my opinion much a matter of common sense and general politeness! And maybe less a directly biblical one.

 

[Goodbook]

It would help if..your parents are christian but mine are not.
Obey your parents in the Lord.

My mum just said there is no God and Hes just in my imagination. My mum is a martha to my mary. So I have a problem.

I need practical advice, from the bible to help with this. Its a huge issue with mum. I do chores but she wants me to do hers as well but then i dont do them to her standard and she yells at me. Its very frustrating. Yet, hypocritically, she is extremely messy in other ways and when I point that out she throws a fit.

 

[Goodbook]

Any scriptures would be good and appreciated.
For example my mum works full time. She has always a day where she mops the floor and cleans the bathroom. Thats her thing. But every time she does this, she complains loudly that she has to do this.

What am I supposed to do? Do it all for her? I told her she doesnt have to do my room i can clean my room myself.

I do all the gardening. I dont complain about doing all the things needed for it, i love doing it. But mum complains. And then says i dont need to do it, and my garden is a mess. It isnt, but to her it is.

 

[Goodbook]

I would leave for peace and quiet but there is literally nowhere to go.

 

[Goodbook]

Also, it seems she doesnt actually need help as she claims. She just wants someone to boss around. If she couldnt do it, like literally couldnt, of course I would step in and do it. But if she constantly guilt trips me into stuff I just dont know how to handle it. Nothing makes her happy. If I cooked a meal which I dont do that often cos she controls the kitchen and thrn complains afterward.

Like no thank you, no nothing, no asking me would I please do this. I do when im asked nicely. I dont like to be ordered around like a slave. Something in me just resists that kind of treatment.

 

[seashale76]

Unless you can move out, I'm not seeing what you can do here, to be honest.

 

[Goodbook]

Oh great.
Well.
No reward for doing them, just abuse, and cant afford to move out. Great. Put up and shut up.

 

[Goodbook]

Why do people think that people can just run away from home, move out when theres no place to go??? Live on the streets? No thanks. Live in a hovel? Live with equally abusive and tyrannical relatives?

Why do christians think...well, abused children arent their problem? And turn a blind eye? If I had children I would not treat them the way my mother has treated me. I would open my home to those who had no place to go. It really sucks to have an unbelieving mother.

I would also pray for them because their parents sure arent praying.

 

[seashale76]

Why do people think that people can just run away from home, move out when theres no place to go??? Live on the streets? No thanks. Live in a hovel? Live with equally abusive and tyrannical relatives?

Why do christians think...well, abused children arent their problem? And turn a blind eye? If I had children I would not treat them the way my mother has treated me. I would open my home to those who had no place to go. It really sucks to have an unbelieving mother.

I would also pray for them because their parents sure arent praying.

If your family life is that bad, then you can make a plan and even live in a shelter if need be. There are resources for abused people in Australia. I'm assuming you're an adult. Use them. When speaking of children, if their parents are truly abusive, then people should call Child Protective Services.

 

[Goodbook]

Sorry for venting but i need practical advice like. I dont know.
The kind of chore routines you have, do you make charts or rosters or take turns or what works best for your household.

I cant believe christians would not have some kind of system for running their household which does not include abusing their children, verbally or pyshcologically guilt tripping them , even if they are adults, so they can dwell peacefully and in unity. Even if its just a simple list of house rules to live by.

What do you do? Im asking for your experience and practical advice and scripture, not judgement.

 

[ValleyGal]

Iirc, you do not work, but you collect disability. Is that right? You say your mom works full time. Does your dad pitch in at home?

If your parents both work full time, and you are home all day not working, then, imo, you should be working at home as much as you can, like a housekeeper. The Bible says that if you don't work, you don't eat. It also says that we are to work 6 days and then rest on the 7th. If the only "work" you do are household chores, then that should be your work - even when you contribute financially to the home with your disability payments.

The Bible also talks about working as though working to the Lord. Whatever you do, put your whole heart and energy into it. If you can't put your heart and energy into it cheerfully as if you were serving the Lord, then it is better not to do it at all. But that is not really fair to your folks. If your mom is not saved, working at home and doing it cheerfully as you would serve Jesus, would be a good testimony to what it means to serve the Lord.

If she complains about it, then let her know that you will do what you will do, and if she is unhappy, then she can go over it more until she is pleased with the outcome - but at least you gave her a good starting point and make her life a little easier.

And in the meantime, if you want to leave, then keep your eyes open for a shared rental, house-sitting, live-in caregiver for children or elderly, or other arrangement where you could move out.

I am curious, though. If there are no places to rent, how do young people manage to grow up and leave home? Where do newly married or newly independent people move to?

 

[Aino]

Well your first post didn't tell the specific details of your situation so maybe my advice here would be a bit different here.

I agree with Valleygal here. If your parents work full time and you're just at home then it's just natural that you'll do the majority of household chores.

On the other hand, your mother seems to be quite disrespectful and rude to you as well and that's an issue you should take up with her as soon as possible! It's not necessary to bear all of that rubbish from people just because you're christian. Your relationship does definitely not sound like it were nice to anyone.

I would suggest you sit down with her and talk about all of this. Try not to sound like you just wanted to blame her for everything but more like you want to make the general atmosphere better for everyone, that will just make her defend herself against you. Maybe try to find a moment when none of you are angry or too annoyed. If I have something difficult I have to take up with someone I usually break the whole issue down into a list, maybe it would help you too? My list for points of discussion with your mum would be: 1) she seems angry often. Is she maybe stressed about your living situation or something else? Can you help? And are there ways she could help herself so she wouldn't have to pour it down on you?
2)making a list of all chores and deciding who'll do them so it becomes clear to everyone.
3)discussing what is essential to every chore and agreeing to a certain level so that no one will have reason to complain.

I hope you'll find a way to get on better terms with your mum!

 

[Goodbook]

I am not at home all day. I do stuff. I have a life.
Please do not think that just because I do not have a paid job, that I dont work.

Nobody in auckland can afford to rent these days. Ppl who do that are paying dead money. Newlyweds cannot afford housing, as investors snap up all the starterhomes.

I asked for advice, not judgement. i am not a housekeeper. I am not good at certain things, like I dont have an eye for every single dust mite. I am short sighted. People might say oh, thats no excuse but it makes a huge difference when you can barely see in front of your own nose without glasses. I am not great at cleaning, I do my best, but my best is often not good enough. This is not my own home, i dont own it, or will only inherit it when my parents die.

I love gardening though, and pour my heart and soul into it. I never complain when im out gardening, but resent it if mum nags me to do something. Then its like a huge resistance to her ciriticism comes up, and I just cant do what she demands. If youve never experienced bullying before, I guess you dont know what its like and dont understand how to deal with it.

You cant sit down with a bully and get them to listen to reason....I once tried that with my boss. Didnt work. They dont negotiate. Its like shape up or ship out. They dont care if you go overboard. Thats what they want.

 

[Goodbook]

My brothers and sister left home at the first opportunity. The opportunity is closed for me. I cannot go stay with them. My brothers are probably worse, one of them is very anal about stuff to the point that, he was impossible to live with. I feel sorry if he ever gets married for the wife on the end of his lashing tongue.

 

[Goodbook]

Can someone tell me what they actually DO in their house. How do your children, if they live with you, organise duties and chores. Who does what?

Or does someone just lump it all on the one who is at home? Even if they are not good at it. What chores are you best at, do you have a roster or take turns or each have a certain area.

Come on, its simple to tell me just what you do instead of trying to judge me.

Then I at least have an example I can follow. That will work.

 

[BFine]

how are chores worked out in your household?
Do you take turns, do them together, set aside a day, or do it throughout the week?
Any rewards for doing them?

*When I was a minor and lived with my mom...me and my brother had chores to do...didn't matter who done them, they had to be done each day before mom got home from work...that is, when she was able to work.
Our rewards were:
Words of praise, mom would fix each of our favorite meals or dessert...sometimes we'd get a gift or a little money.

Now, when I was grown and mom was unable to work...she'd take care of the household chores...if she couldn't
complete the chores, I'd finish them after I got home from work. Mom always had meals cooked, many times she'd prepare casseroles and freeze them....reserving them for times when she wasn't able to be out of bed.

What does the bible say about chores?
What if you hate doing them?

*Working or laboring... examples can be found in
the book of Ruth-- Ruth worked in the fields, her MIL
was keeper of the home.

In the story of the prodigal son... both sons worked for their father. The younger son got tired of "doing chores" or whatever...he demanded what he would inherit ASAP and his father gave it to him-- the younger son departed for "Vegas" and "lived large" for a season.
The older son remained at home and continued working for his father.

Both sons worked for their dad, both sons were "rewarded" by their dad...comfortable home to live in, servants, good food to eat, nice clothes, tricked out rides etc.

One son got tired of doing chores, the other kept doing his chores.
Both sons had at their deposal their father's wealth... one son left home for the "world" and the other son remained with his dad, had access to the wealth, good food, servants etc.

Circumstances revealed what laid in both their hearts,
the young son who went to "Vegas" wasn't true, he wanted to have his own way...enjoy the pleasures of sin.

The son who remained at home, went along with the program...that is until his younger brother came home
all stinky, starving, wearing raggedy clothes and barefoot.

The elder brother resented the younger brother who
was now being welcomed back into the fold, given new clothes, sandals and a ring-- there would even be a party given for him!
The older brother was livid!
His words: "But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!" Luke 15:30.

No agape for his own brother, no joyfulness that his brother was still alive and had returned... the older brother wouldn't even address the guy as his brother... "this son of yours".

The brother who'd left home...he was ashamed/remorseful about what he'd done.
The son who remained at home...
he was "hating" and this came out when he saw how their father had welcomed back his youngest son.

The elder brother names all his brother's sins...painting a picture would surely jar dear ol' dad to his senses... it doesn't bring about the desired reaction.

The words of the father...
'Son, you have always been with me, and all that is mine is yours.
But we had to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found."

The Father's heart is one of agape...at the first appearance of the son's remorse, the father responds
positively.

Let us all seek to have such hearts... it begins with having a firm relationship with the Lord, continual renewing one's mind on God's Word and extending forgiveness and mercy...walking in agape.

A look back at my life...
In the later years when my mom was able to work less and less... I'd do chores, I didn't like them either...but the work needed to be done.

The best way for me to do housework/chores? I put on the radio and played uplifting music...
I got into doing that way back when I was still working in the sickening hot furniture companies during the humid North Carolina summers.

Seeking some "space"...
There were times when I did weekend live-in caregiving jobs and or housekeeping.
I had a few jobs that were live-in positions during
the week.

One family was so desperate for weekend help that they would drive an hour each way to get
me for weekend sitting for their elderly mother.
(I didn't have a car back then.)

I'd of worked for free...practically did lol!
Their mom was so lovely, she had lots of stories of
times long ago...she was in her nineties and
was the healthiest one in the family!
She lived in a "dollhouse", it was like something
one would read about in Anne of Green Gables.
I looked forward to going there each weekend,
I longed for change and this is how I got it.

I enjoyed being in another city, that was in a different part of the county...I lived in a big mobile home park, the family I worked for lived in the country...farmland all around, folks were friendly/neighborly.

I have friends who work as live-in nannies, housekeepers or as companions, tutors...perhaps you could look into doing something that?
You could do it part time...it would give you a change of scenery.

 

[BFine]

Since I'm married...
My husband helps me with chores now that he
is mobile...it wasn't always like that...I was doing
everything for several years following his left leg
amputation (due to an accident at work.)

There aren't any "assigned" chores, we just do them.

 

[BFine]

Back before my husband's accident... he worked full time
when we lived on the Sunshine coast...his job kept him
away from home 10-12 hrs. each day...so all the
household chores were on me.
When the weekend came, he'd sleep in and get rested up
so he could go back to the "treadmill" ...er his job.

My husband kept that pace right up until around April of 2009, when his job was eliminated...the plantation was
in dire-straits....aka company down-sizing.

My "escapes" back then came via my former lady boss who
was wealthy, she'd fly me back and forth (Canada/USA)
nearly every month for nearly two years...my residency
papers were "tied up" and I had to exit the country each
month...and she provided for me financially and let me live
in her home while I was in North Carolina.