choosing abstinence??

[Kol]

Wow. (looking at board) I am truly impressed. I never imagined anyone would actually try to control themselves to the extend of stopping after you've started.

You must learn to discipline your mind. It took me years to do this. For the guy, I would heavily suggest going to the gym. Both of you can go running/jogging, do the treadmill thing. Exercise helps a lot.

If you've been having sex and you stop, your testosterone levels are going to go through the roof. Since this is what initiates sexual desire, you've got to spend that energy somewhere. Again, I would really, really suggest exercise. That's the easiest, quickest answer. Heck, go for a walk.

May God truly bless you all. I am impressed.

::in awe::

 

[faithgirl]

^ I agree! That is awesome that you guys are even trying to stop after you started! That is great!

 

[Kol]

I think I'm going to go crazy sometimes because of it.

Right before I moved this last time, I got really close to a girl but thankfully came to my senses before I slept with her. It was a pretty empty relationship. My life in Christ is more important to me than to drag it through the mud.

Still, I'm afraid when I meet someone new I'll not be so picky and just settle, not necessarily because of sex so much as the whole loneliness factor.

I don't know...

 

[akgirl1]

Well, we are trying but I see a long and tough road in front of us. But then again, that is life. Anymore suggestions? I dont excersize right now, but he does everyday. Maybe I should try to budget my money so that I can join the gym and try that.

 

[Kol]

::shrugs::

Exercise to 'burn away' the testosterone and don't touch-it only raises test. levels.

Wiki:

As well, the medical community is now aware, for example, that elevated levels of testosterone, as is the case in male abstinence, is linked to feelings of aggression.

Abstinence from sexual activity often results in an obvious build-up of hormones, correlated with a feeling of well-being. Testosterone and estrogen, two primary sex hormones that build up during abstinence, are related to other antidepressant neurochemistry such as serotonin and endorphins. While [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] releases endorphins in short-term secretion, abstaining for more lengthy periods of time produces a more lasting feeling of what sometimes may be described as euphoria, and, according to many partners, better marital sex. Abstinence has been reported by some as a natural antidepressant.

Of course, wikipedia is only public opinion, so who knows?

 

[puppylove07]

Wow your story sounds so much like mine. I was raised in a Christian home and loved it but when I left for college it was like I left all that behind me and when my own way. I did things that I had always said I wouldn't and made mistakes that I had preached to my friends about making.

But now three years later, I am a totally different person. I made the decison to stop having sex almost 1 1/2 ago and couldn't not be happier with myself. I feel like I have more control in relationships and am able to stand up for what I want. I am now that person I always wanted to be. It is hard at times and I do get tempted but I remember that feeling of hitting rock bottom and turn my eyes back to Christ and walk away.

Stay strong, you can do it!!

 

[MrsJoy]

well...
if you are truly desiring to follow God and the plan that He has for you...
you will obey Him.
I know that this is not easy, especially since you have already been engaging in this, but, I dout hanging on a tree and dying was easy either.

It comes down to what is really important, and how far you are willing to go for Him.

Is He truly your Lord, or is feeling good your lord??

 

[MrsJoy]

aye i know we just wanna settle down after uni thts all. Save up abit more and have a nice wedding.

what is more important?
a nice wedding?
or obeying direct commands from God???
you could always get married simply, then later when you have the funds do something nice.

If you simply "cannot obstain", marriage is the only godly and biblical answer.

 

[MrsJoy]

I am working on this problem now. My boyfriend and I have been together for over 5 years (we met at 18) and we have recently decided to discontinue our sexual relationship. We have done this in the past, but always gave in to temptation. We want to follow God's word to make our individual relationships' with Him stronger as well as make our realtionship together stronger. We have talked about marriage but he does not want to get married until his career is on track. Does anyone have any advice on how to create and maintain a celibate relationship when it has been the opposite for so long? I have prayed about this and asked God for his help and guidance and I want to know what else I should be doing. Thank you for any help!

~stay in public places a lot.
~keep accountable to others
~Limit lengths of time alone

such things are hard...i KNOW...but you will be glad in the end.

 

[MrsJoy]

Wow. (looking at board) I am truly impressed. I never imagined anyone would actually try to control themselves to the extend of stopping after you've started.

You must learn to discipline your mind. It took me years to do this. For the guy, I would heavily suggest going to the gym. Both of you can go running/jogging, do the treadmill thing. Exercise helps a lot.

If you've been having sex and you stop, your testosterone levels are going to go through the roof. Since this is what initiates sexual desire, you've got to spend that energy somewhere. Again, I would really, really suggest exercise. That's the easiest, quickest answer. Heck, go for a walk.

May God truly bless you all. I am impressed.

::in awe::

why should obeying God be such an off the board thing???

 

[Kol]

Because, as we all know,

"there is none that are righteous, no, not one."

 

[renewhope]

...

 

[progressivegal]

Say your "celibate". I think that sounds totally cool personally

 

[Samstertje]

I've made a descision and I'm praying for the strenght and I believe and trust in the fact that the Lord will strenghten me..

I can do everything trough Christ, who strenghtens me!

Of course it's hard sometimes.
When I'm having a hard time to resist, I usually read scripture

 

[MrsJoy]

Because, as we all know,

"there is none that are righteous, no, not one."

on our own strength yes.
God has not called us to live on our own stregth and always provides a way out when we seek Him.
"there hath no temptation taken you but such as it common to men, but God is faithful who will not suffer you to be tempted above what you are able, but, will with the temptation offer a way to escape that you may be able to bear it."

 

[koban4max]

Brief background on my situation:

I was raised in church all of my life, but I began to stray once I got to undergrad - mostly just because I started sleeping in on Sundays and it eventually became habit. Over the past 7 years of so, I have occasionally felt an almost tangible pull on my life. Each time, I have resisted and instead chose to live the way I wanted to. In just the past month or so, I've decided to stop running. I can't say for sure exactly what brought it on, but I am ready to really give in and work on becoming the woman I know God wants me to be. I have prayed with my pastor and with my mother, and I can honestly say that I don't even feel like the same person lately. I have a JOY that I've never had before, and I am really ready to make some necessary changes in my life.

That said, I am 24 and single. Sex is probably my greatest temptation, but I would really love to STOP and abstain until marriage. Has anyone else made the decision to STOP having sex? If so, how have you been doing so far? How do potential partners react to this? I find that people are far more receptive to the idea of virgins wanting to wait until marriage than they are to the idea of someone who has been sexually active suddenly deciding to abstain. Any thoughts / suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

You can't really "beat" it because devil tries to temp you everyday. Answer: Pray to God.

 

[twiststheoak]

I guess there are a lot of different opinions on this kinda thing. Let me tell you guys my latest experience that finalized my decision not to have sex, if it TMI I'm sorry. I ended up having sex with this girl down in Newport about 3 months ago, I guess it was just for fun, I barely remember it. I didn't even feel bad about having sex with her, in fact we were cool the next day and everything went right back to the "friendship" we used to have. Well God came into my life and brought me out of that hole I was in (spiritually), and I felt bad. It was in the past but I feel horrible, I wish I could take it back, but of course I can't. So consciously I have made a decision to stay away from sex until I am ready with a woman to commit to marriage. WHICH IS AWESOME, and I have so many props to give to those that do the same.
The thing is, I had another time just about 3 weeks ago, I had a girl that has been in and out of my life for awhile, and I don't know why but I thought she cared a little bit. Actually I don't know what I was thinking... OK I DO KNOW. I'MA GUY. I am still working on ridding the lustful thoughts but I'm definately not pro yet. So anyways we consent to having sex, everything is going... ok... I guess, and all of a sudden I just can't do it, physically, mentally the whole 9 yards... It was impossible. I was shocked, because I was thinking about the girl before this one. I didn't have a problem with her, in fact it was too easy... It opened my eyes though.
God literally came into my life and ever since then it's like my conscious has come back, I feel like I have to know someone now, I have to love them. I realized that I was never truely over my babies mother, that I was ready to have another relationship. I used to hide my feelings that I still have for my ex with sex. Now it's not a option. It's like OH NO BOY your going to have to face this, your going to have to let go of the past before you can move to the future. And I thank God for giving me this new life I have, should it be hard not to have sex? oh ya... but somehow God knows how serious you are about His word. I was so into God and doing what's right and I still tried to have sex. God though, treated me like Peter, he knew I made a mistake, he knows I might end up making that mistake again, but he loves me, and he will give me that other chance. Sex can be used any so many different ways, for different feelings, so is to cover them up and some sex is to reveal it, but does that make it right?
Anyways I don't know if this all even makes sense, but I'm so proud of anyone who has chosen to stay away from sex, and to do the right thing, very cool.

Jon

 

[TwistTim]

To Those Ladies who have walked away from sex, you have my appluase, know this, if she would have been ok with it, I almost dated one of your sisters, a young lady that had a child out of wedlock, and had been active, but came to Christ, and quit cold turkey, when I met her she wasn't ready for anything more than friendship with a Christian dude...so that's all we had, and I loved every minute of being her friend, and would have loved to be more, but God didn't ordain it, for she's gone from my life, and I hers...

my point? If you've had sex and a baby in the past, don't think it's the end/unforgivable, for God showed me how I could love someone like that, and if He could show me, the least of these, a sinner(who has struggled with porn, and it's a fight), how to love a true Lady who's become a Lady because of the King becoming her Father, then there is hope for you other Lady's out there, NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER GIVE IN NEVER MORE!!!!!!!!!!!

I am now completely single, and I have had opportunities in the past, and even some recent ones, and though like i said, I've struggled with porn, I keep saying no to sex because I know God has someone out there for me, and I am trying to get back to being pure, even if it means giving up the internet at night time, or altogether for a month, whatever I feel God lead me, so I can become purged of the filth, that I will do, because it's all about Him, not about me.....

btw: My reason for remaining abstinent when I could have had sex? not because I made the pledge, but because I knew I wanted a virgin for a wife, and I knew I wouldn't be fair if I were to cheat and she couldn't....so I try to hold myself up to every standard I want in a future mate, though being male, and human, I naturally fail, I still try....

 

[twiststheoak]

To Those Ladies who have walked away from sex, you have my appluase, know this, if she would have been ok with it, I almost dated one of your sisters, a young lady that had a child out of wedlock, and had been active, but came to Christ, and quit cold turkey, when I met her she wasn't ready for anything more than friendship with a Christian dude...so that's all we had, and I loved every minute of being her friend, and would have loved to be more, but God didn't ordain it, for she's gone from my life, and I hers...

my point? If you've had sex and a baby in the past, don't think it's the end/unforgivable, for God showed me how I could love someone like that, and if He could show me, the least of these, a sinner(who has struggled with porn, and it's a fight), how to love a true Lady who's become a Lady because of the King becoming her Father, then there is hope for you other Lady's out there, NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER GIVE IN NEVER MORE!!!!!!!!!!!

I am now completely single, and I have had opportunities in the past, and even some recent ones, and though like i said, I've struggled with porn, I keep saying no to sex because I know God has someone out there for me, and I am trying to get back to being pure, even if it means giving up the internet at night time, or altogether for a month, whatever I feel God lead me, so I can become purged of the filth, that I will do, because it's all about Him, not about me.....

btw: My reason for remaining abstinent when I could have had sex? not because I made the pledge, but because I knew I wanted a virgin for a wife, and I knew I wouldn't be fair if I were to cheat and she couldn't....so I try to hold myself up to every standard I want in a future mate, though being male, and human, I naturally fail, I still try....

Hey man thats excellent, sounds like you got a grasp on it anyways eh? It's up to us to make the sacrifices, to do what's right through God. You have some great points. God bless.

Jon

 

[kindlychung]

I've never had sex with any girls, but I've tried masturbation before. Believe me it feels awful and is so disappointing, and thank God I have stopped. It feels SO GREAT to be able to control yourself.