Children.

[FaithLikeARock]

This isn't a discussion about children but about what you think about parents and having kids. Should ALL married couples have kids? Should NO couples have kids and couples choose to adopt?

Personally, I think far too many people have kids and there are far too many unwanted kids or kids living in insufficient homes for us to be adding MORE. I think that if more couples adopted, less parents who are afraid of the adoption system would get abortions and fewer kids would be homeless and a lot more problems would start to deteriorate. Not disappear, but it wouldn't be as hopelessly bad.

 

[Caitlin.ann]

This isn't a discussion about children but about what you think about parents and having kids. Should ALL married couples have kids? Should NO couples have kids and couples choose to adopt?

Personally, I agree that too many couples are having kids, although that won't stop me for a second. I love my fiance and I want nothing more than to create three to five new lives with him. If more couples would adopt or not have kids, that would solve a lot of problems too. Although it would be hypocritical of me to say "No, no one should have kids anymore" simply because I am going to have a few myself.

 

[gwenmead]

There was a time in my life when I thought I was going to have children, simply because that's what most people do; but I wised up and realized in my late 20's that I really never wanted any, and that "everybody does it" isn't a good reason to have children.

I've known too many abuse survivors (i.e., children of abusive parents) to believe that everybody should be a parent. A lot of people shouldn't be. I think there are way too many humans making way too many more humans right now, and I'd love to see adults take a step back and actually think hard about whether or not kids are something they really want. I'd love to see people voluntarily have fewer children. I'd love to see the adoption process simplified and the fosterage system vastly improved.

I'd love to see a lot of things happen in the way of educated family planning, really. I don't think that no couples should have children, but I also don't think that every couple should have children either. (I have major ethical issues with Quiverfull families, for instance.)

So far I haven't been able to come up with a reason for having a kid that isn't ultimately centered on the needs and wants of extant adults. That's not always bad, it just means that I can't justify having children myself, and I don't always understand why another couple would.

Oh yeah. I don't think that parenthood confers automatic sainthood on anybody. Just parenthood. And I don't think anybody has to be a perfect parent in order to be a good one, they just need to do a good job taking care of their kids. I have absolutely no sympathy whatsoever for individuals who maltreat children in any way.

Some random thoughts, anyway.

 

[Apollo Celestio]

There is nothing wrong with having children, and one should never call them wrong for wanting to have them, when and where may be questionable...but not all together.

 

[Mling]

There are many people who just shouldn't have kids. It's best for everybody if they realize this and choose to go childless. I wish people wouldn't give them such a hard time. They're actually making a wise choice.

More people should adopt, and especially should adopt kids who aren't healthy, white infants.

 

[tulc]

I love having kids, I love having grandkids. My life would have been poorer without them. It may be true not everyone should have them but I think they're missing out. (IMHO)
tulc(just this old mans opinion)

 

[DieHappy]

There was a time in my life when I thought I was going to have children, simply because that's what most people do; but I wised up and realized in my late 20's that I really never wanted any, and that "everybody does it" isn't a good reason to have children.

Good for you. I hate it when people hint that there is something wrong with a couple not having kids. I always wanted them, and love mine dearly, but I am friends with several couples who just don't want them. Good for them.

Personally, I think we should eliminate IVF and help the adoption process along until all the kids we do have are spoken for.

 

[ChristmasChild]

Raising children isn't for everyone. If a married couple chooses not to have children, noone has the right to judge. Anyone can have a happy, productive life if they choose not to raise children.

 

[""]

This isn't a discussion about children but about what you think about parents and having kids. Should ALL married couples have kids? Should NO couples have kids and couples choose to adopt?

Personally, I think far too many people have kids and there are far too many unwanted kids or kids living in insufficient homes for us to be adding MORE. I think that if more couples adopted, less parents who are afraid of the adoption system would get abortions and fewer kids would be homeless and a lot more problems would start to deteriorate. Not disappear, but it wouldn't be as hopelessly bad.

It's a personal decision.

Nobody else should be allowed to tell another person that they cannot have children. Unless there is a medical reason for a person not to have children, it's nobody else's business if she and her family decide to have children as long as they are properly cared for, and even then, that is up for discussion. The proper care of children goes beyond the opinions. If no laws are broken, then it's nobody's business. Furthermore, I oppose any laws that dictate the number of children one should be allowed to have. It's a personal decision.

Having said that, I am fully in support of adoption and I believe that anybody who is financially capable, emotionally stable, and able to provide a loving home to an adoptive child, should do that. The children who need adoption the most are the ones between ages 7 and 17. Everybody wants the young ones and the infants but once they hit 7 years of age, the chances of being adopted are lessened greatly, and continue to diminish as the child ages. If I were physically well, and able to do so, I would love to adopt many many children, all races, from all countries, and all ages. I would love it.

 

[WatersMoon110]

I don't think that anyone should ever be forced to have kids, but I think that people who want kids should be allowed to have them (assuming that they are not abusive or neglectful).

I plan on having one (or two) biological children, and then adopting an older sibling group (that is, kids that are related - so that they can stay together). I hope that more good people will adopt, because adopting kids is wonderful!

 

[fuzzymel]

I am married and childfree. We do not intend on having children. Some people take the news badly. I still cannot understand because its not really any of their business.

Sometimes I feel bad for my in-laws who would love to be grandparents but having children does not guarantee you grandchildren.

 

[MemeBuster]

More people should adopt, and especially should adopt kids who aren't healthy, white infants.

Your profile indicates that you are a theistic evolutionist; if you believe that god created life on Earth using Evolution, don't you agree that god would not want the unhealthy infants to survive?

Also, Adoption is more unnatural than homosexuality.


MB.

 

[FaithLikeARock]

Your profile indicates that you are a theistic evolutionist; if you believe that god created life on Earth using Evolution, don't you agree that god would not want the unhealthy infants to survive?

Also, Adoption is more unnatural than homosexuality.


MB.

Great. Now why?

Personally, I think that's very hateful of you. I'm going to assume you're pro-abortion if you think that because it only makes sense. Adoption is rescuing a child, giving them a home, and is the most natural thing in the world. Christ so "for what you have done to the least of these, you've done to Me."

 

[MemeBuster]

Great. Now why?

Why do you think "god gave" people the instinct to prefer adopting healthy babies that look more like them?


MB.

 

[FaithLikeARock]

Why do you think "god gave" people the instinct to prefer adopting healthy babies that look more like them?


MB.

He didn't.

People don't adopt children who look like them because of the desire to have children. They do it because they don't want to be asked awkward questions in public about an adopted child who looks nothing like them and they want a healthy child because it's less work and less worry.

I must be a freak of nature by your logic because I'm attracted to cultures other than my own and adopting children from other countries.

But I'm just going to stop there and go out on a limb and call your Poe.

 

[Mling]

Your profile indicates that you are a theistic evolutionist; if you believe that god created life on Earth using Evolution, don't you agree that god would not want the unhealthy infants to survive?

Also, Adoption is more unnatural than homosexuality.


MB.

well, I believe there is a God, and I believe in evolution, so that makes me a theistic evolutionist, doesn't it? That really says nothing about God's intentions about anything.

Beside that, go ahead and make the argument that those who can't physically care for themselves have nothing to offer the human race that would balance the care they need to survive. I triple-dog dare you to say that Stephen Hawking and Helen Keller have taken more of humanity's resources than they have given back and that the human race is weaker for having raised them. Go for it.

The second bit just makes no sense. Both occur in nature, and both benefit the species. Both are perfectly natural.

 

[beechy]

Personally, I think we should eliminate IVF and help the adoption process along until all the kids we do have are spoken for.

Are your children your biological children?

 

[feral]

You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any (unpleasant description) be a father.

That quote is from an old '80s movie Parenthood, but I think it sums up what I feel on the issue quite well. I don't think everyone is cut out to be a parent, and in fact, I'd say it's probably the majority who aren't. I know there are some people who do a wonderful job of raising well-balanced, healthy, independent children, but for every one of them there seems to be ten of the type who holler and insult their children while pushing them around a grocer's or the ones who allow the television to babysit while they occasionally drop by for a monthly five minute visit and expect to be confirmed as mom and dad. So many people seem to have children out of a sense of obligation, or because it's common and expected. Many of them are not equipped to parent. They don't have the patience or they are too selfish. Often, they have no skills and expect their children to develop into strong, confident and moral young people without any guidance. Lots of parents are just ATMs who buy their children whatever they want but don't provide attention and time, or they are just the ones you see shrieking at their oversized brood out in public places and are so inept they confuse beatings and screamings with discipline. In my nanny career, I have worked for five different families, so although I am not an expert, I have seen many examples of atrocious parenting. I don't suppose there is a reasonable way to license parenthood but I do think there ought to be some checks and balances to assure that the people who have children are doing well by them. I'm not sure how that could be arranged, but I'd love to see it attempted.

 

[m9lc]

If you have the means to support children, by all means, pump 'em out. It's your right.

I think that morally, adoption is a better choice than reproduction, but I don't find it immoral to have babies yourself.

The only thing that I find immoral about reproduction is if you have children when you can't give them a good life. That's selfish.