changing or accepting

[scarlett]

i'm wondering what you all think about personalities. can they be changed if you really committed yourself to it, or are you disposed to be a certain way and any attempts to alter who you are would be denying the obvious.

personally, i want to change. i've changed my environments, tried something new, tried to be outgoing and stuff, but i end up realizing how different i am. for instance, last year i lived in a co-ed dorm that was basically quiet for only a few hours at night. it just made my introvertedness stand out like a sore thumb. or, see myself falling back into old habits.

but then again, i don't want to remain who i am. i really feel depressed when people describe what i'm like: "quiet, keeps mostly to herself, and serious". it almost doesn't seem normal since i'm 19, living on my own, etc.

anyway, what do you all think. can we really change or should we just accept who we are?

 

[sparrow1029]

I really believe the only one who can change us is God--but I also really believe He purposely creates us with certain personality traits. I'm quiet and serious too, and nearly all my life people have told me I need to change. I got to the point where I thought the only way I'd be any good to God was if I were this totally outgoing, loud person. Slowly, I'm beginning to see there are so many benefits to being the quiet one--I hear and see things other people don't because I spend less time talking and more time listening. I know how to be still, and my studious nature makes reading the Bible quite enjoyable. There are aspects of my personality that are more motivated by fear and pride--for instance, holding back from saying something because I don't want to be judged. In instances like that, God has given me a different perspective or courage which allows me to overcome my fears. My recommendation is to pray about this, and ask God to show you the unique benefits of being "quiet." Remember that the goal is to have a character/personality pleasing to Him first of all. If you ask Him to make you into a person that He finds beautiful, I'm positive He'll go to work in your life.

 

[mina]

I think it's important to realize that you can do both. I'm very shy and I'll probably always be on the shy side, so i have to accept that is who God made me to be. However, I don't have to stay as shy as I am always. In high school I used to be much much quieter and serious, but only by God's help he has pulled me out of myself and used me to be friendly and open and reach people. He has changed me to be more like the woman he wants me to be. I still maintain my personality, but it doesn't define who I am. God gives me the grace to be what He wants. Does that make sense? I'm really tired so i'm sort of rambling.

 

[Living4Him03]

I understand where you're coming from...I finished undergrad early so now I'm still in college in the same dorm, just in grad school. my best friend thinks i'm anti-social and that i need to be more outgoing. i think i'm fine the way i am and my boyfriend agrees. dont let other people tell you what you "should" be like. We have different personalities and quirks for a reason...God can use each of us to minister to others in different ways! Just be who you are...if you are cool with who you are, others will become cool with it too (well, most anyway). God bless

 

[scarlett]

let's assume that i want to change, not because someone's telling me that i have to be a certain way, but because i know that i should be capable of much more.

now i'm thinking... the environment you surround yourself in is pretty important. the problem i find is that you attract what you put out, so if you're quiet and reserved, you're not going to place yourself in an ideal environment to become anything else. right now, i'm getting nothing back so i can only assume that i'm putting nothing out. sometimes i luv it, sometimes i don't.

i am praying thu.

 

[Mr.Cheese]

I've found that a lit of life involves becoming comfortable with who you are. Doesn't mean you have to be perfect. But being able to look in the mirror and saying, "I can live with that."
Also, from about 18-25 life is a crazy ride. Just hang on and enjoy the ride. God is busy shaping you.

 

[mamaneenie]

Not everyone is going to like you. I think when you learn to accept yourself for who you are then you will feel more happy about being you. As someone else said, there are benefits to being quieter. I married a quiet introverted man, and I appreciate his intelligence and ability to think before he speaks. I on the other hand can be a loud mouth and very extroverted, the life of the party type. We are all different. I bet that you have good qualities that other people don't have. How about asking God to reveal to you your good qualities, or get a good friend to help you out on this one.

 

[BInC]

I was always a really quiet person too. I wasn't happy, but I wasn't really sad either. Then God told me he would help me become a more outgoing person, and I could use that to bring people to God. Before, about 10 to 15 people came to my youth group, and that was pretty good considering we only have about 80 kids in our school. Now, 50 to 60 kids come every night from a 20 mile radius including three towns. I have gotten ten to start coming myself, and those brought others. Me and my friends have totally revitalized our youth group, partially because I am a much more outgoing person. Being quiet has advantages too, but I really feel like I am doing more for God now.

The things I have done to get like this are pretty simple. I hang out with other christians, so I don't worry about what they think of me. That gives me a mental confidence. I lift weights wich aloso gives me a bit of physical confidence, but that isn't quite as important. It won't happen overnight, but I am really glad God helped me change.