Changes in Attitude and Bluntness

[JAM2b]

Ok, so I have been noticing that I am much more outspoken and very direct about what I say than I used to be. When I was younger I used to filter almost everything I said. I find that I have difficulty doing that now.

I'm not saying rude or inappropriate things, but I'm saying things without pausing to think if I should, or if I should fluff it up so that it isn't hard to hear.

I'm not sure if this is age/maturity related, or if this is because of exhaustion and frustration. I'm too tired to sugar coat anything. I value my time and mental energy much more than I used to.

I don't yell or say things rudely, but I'm blunt and to the point about most conversations these days. Is anyone else experiencing this?

 

[Hidden In Him]

Ok, so I have been noticing that I am much more outspoken and very direct about what I say than I used to be. When I was younger I used to filter almost everything I said. I find that I have difficulty doing that now.

I'm not saying rude or inappropriate things, but I'm saying things without pausing to think if I should, or if I should fluff it up so that it isn't hard to hear.

I'm not sure if this is age/maturity related, or if this is because of exhaustion and frustration. I'm too tired to sugar coat anything. I value my time and mental energy much more than I used to.

I don't yell or say things rudely, but I'm blunt and to the point about most conversations these days. Is anyone else experiencing this?

Things change as you get older. I noticed myself getting increasingly aggressive the older I got, and I honestly think it's just a matter of coming into yourself more (not that that's always a good thing, mind you). But when we are younger we are generally less sure of ourselves and our viewpoints, whether justified or not. By the time we are in our forties, much of our views on a variety of subjects have largely been formulated, while at the same time so have everyone else's in our age group. Hence the trouble when we don't agree, LoL.

I think it's natural, but all the more reason to keep the golden rule before our eyes (James 1:23-27).

 

[Hank77]

I'm 65 now and yes I have gotten more straightforward in how I say things. I'm still able to be slow to speak and gentile with children, but I don't have the patience I once did with adults.
It is something that I need to work on harder than I do sometimes; as I should have done in a thread yesterday.

 

[Alicia Schout]

Ok, so I have been noticing that I am much more outspoken and very direct about what I say than I used to be. When I was younger I used to filter almost everything I said. I find that I have difficulty doing that now.

I'm not saying rude or inappropriate things, but I'm saying things without pausing to think if I should, or if I should fluff it up so that it isn't hard to hear.

I'm not sure if this is age/maturity related, or if this is because of exhaustion and frustration. I'm too tired to sugar coat anything. I value my time and mental energy much more than I used to.

I don't yell or say things rudely, but I'm blunt and to the point about most conversations these days. Is anyone else experiencing this?

Well, I am also outspoken. But it's best if
I ask my Lord to empower me with the Holy Spirit and let me say and do as He guided me to do. Sometimes is best to be silent. It's depends on how relax someone is or not.
If you are tense you will respond different than when you are happy or relax.

We need guidance from God. It's good to seek Him and ask Him what to do and say. Just have a little talk with God.

 

[*LILAC]

I find a similar happening as I get older, too. It seems life is too short to be sugar-coating when some people need to hear the plain and simple truth. Especially when someone asks for my opinion. I give it and I can already see that they don't like it! On the other hand, I get some people who nod and I can see it's processing! Interesting... LOL

 

[“Paisios”]

I try to be tactful and nonjudgmental, but I am much more direct and blunt than I used to be. I think it is partly because I now realize that my time on earth is limited...when I was 20, I thought I had forevercto say things. Now I realize that I don’t. That, and i’ve Found that bluntness is often more effective at communicating information to another.

 

[JAM2b]

I've been thinking back to when I was younger and the older relatives would just say what they thought, positive or negative. And sometimes it started conversation going, and sometimes people just listened and moved on. Even in the situations when it didn't evolve into an argument I would be amazed at their boldness. I think I get it now. The older you get, the more you feel the need to just say it. Guess what? Nobody died, and things got talked about. They said their peace and went about their day without having anything build up. Maybe there is something to this.

Maybe I'm 40 years old and just now learning to speak up.

 

[dysert]

Maybe I'm 40 years old and just now learning to speak up.

I'm > 40 and haven't learned to speak up yet. In fact, even when someone asks my opinion I'm internally processing what I'm about to say to make sure I don't offend anyone or say anything I may regret later. I'm not sure why that is, except maybe I'm just a timid soul through and through.

 

[Mydnyte]

I've found myself with a lot less patience for dealing with things that I used to put up with. I don't tolerate people lying to me anymore nor do I tolerate dealing with people who just want to argue or be difficult. I've pushed a lot of people out of my life the last few years because I'm simply over their foolishness and games.

The last 10-15 years have worn me down pretty bad and I just don't see things the way I used too.

 

[SouthernDee]

I understand what you are saying. My husband and I have gotten to the point where we don't care what others think. It only matters what God thinks. I am not as self conscious in my speech and actions as I was when I was younger. We just want to please God.

 

[CrossTheTaiga]

Sure, same here. Probably /partially an age thing, as one becomes more comfortable in one's skin. I too aim directly for the core and essence of issues and people's behaviour. Straightforward though with tact. And yes, it's because I simply do not have the energy to sugar coat everything. Nor do I find sugar coating sensible or effective. Or perhaps I'm just turning in to a cranky old bat, oh well

 

[Apologetic_Warrior]

For me it just depends on the situation and subject matter, I can be short and to the point, or put more time and effort into a conversation. If I have descent interest in the subject, I enjoy putting in more time and effort. If not, I tend to revert to short-speak and right to the point. However, situations also play a role, sometimes, like the subject or not, a situation demands further explanation.

 

[royal priest]

I'm not saying rude or inappropriate things, but I'm saying things without pausing to think if I should, or if I should fluff it up so that it isn't hard to hear.

I'm not sure if this is age/maturity related, or if this is because of exhaustion and frustration.

We need to be tactful. It is a dying art especially in our age of social media. More importantly, it is a fruit of the Spirit and accords with our calling as believers.

Galatians 5:22,
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control"

Colossians 4:6,
"Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person."

Ephesians 4:29,
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

Titus 2:2-5,
"Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."

 

[Apologetic_Warrior]

Please continue with being tact. It is a dying art especially in our age of social media. More importantly, it is a fruit of the Spirit and accords with our calling as believers.

Galatians 5:22,
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control"

Colossians 4:6,
"Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person."

Ephesians 4:29,
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

Titus 2:2-5,
"Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."

 

[Apologetic_Warrior]

I'm 65 now and yes I have gotten more straightforward in how I say things. I'm still able to be slow to speak and gentile with children, but I don't have the patience I once did with adults. It is something that I need to work on harder than I do sometimes; as I should have done in a thread yesterday.

May the Good Lord bless you brother Hank, it will be okay, we're all prone to get emotional, have different buttons, but it will be okay just the same.

 

[mama2one]

shy and quiet as a child and even when got married

don't know if it's an age thing for me but more because I'm a parent now
seems I have more to say now whereas not so much preparenthood

 

[*LILAC]

shy and quiet as a child and even when got married

don't know if it's an age thing for me but more because I'm a parent now

seems I have more to say now whereas not so much preparenthood

plus read, took classes, and workshops on parenting
so will share my knowledge and/or opinion on that, lol

Yep, being a parent to a special needs child also took out any shyness I might have. You mess with my kids, you mess with ME! Funny how alot of educators don't like that type of tone. Oh well! If I don't like how you treat my kids, you will know about it! lol Alot changes when you have kids.

 

[friendl]

I notice over the last few years since I entered 40 years old +, that I'm a bit more verbal. I criticise people, and sometimes verbally in public too I speak up! My wife ain't too happy about my attitude. When I sit down in quietness and think about it, she is right of course. But how can I stop doing this, via my faith?

 

[mama2one]

don't know @friendl

think husband and I feel more protective towards other children since becoming parents

we have spoken up to other parents a few times re safety
so don't see speaking up as necessarily wrong

 

[Roseonathorn]

Ok, so I have been noticing that I am much more outspoken and very direct about what I say than I used to be. When I was younger I used to filter almost everything I said. I find that I have difficulty doing that now.

I'm not saying rude or inappropriate things, but I'm saying things without pausing to think if I should, or if I should fluff it up so that it isn't hard to hear.

I'm not sure if this is age/maturity related, or if this is because of exhaustion and frustration. I'm too tired to sugar coat anything. I value my time and mental energy much more than I used to.

I don't yell or say things rudely, but I'm blunt and to the point about most conversations these days. Is anyone else experiencing this?

My husband also 40 is nowadays more rude to me, so rude that I almost bought him a rude dolf t-shirt with a raindeer on it but unfortunatedly his size was on the fashionshow and all other was already sold. I have always been blunt, straightforward and if I do not like something I might say what I like instead or that the one I dislike is not my favourite or that I rather have something else in case it would hurt someone if I said that I disliked that thing - like if someone made it and I had to say it to her. I think when we catch ourself of being rude we should say sorry for being rude, our son says funny blunt thing sometimes.