Celibacy?

graciesings · Jan 11, 2015

I've had multiple Christians tell me, lately, that I shouldn't ever marry. Just don't date anyone. Be single all your life....

(I am not starting this thread with the intent of debating that advice.)

my question is.... could you do that? Would you? why?

it seems like an impossible, illogical proposition to me right now, although I see why they say so.

Rhamiel · Jan 11, 2015

I do not know if I could do that

but if I knew that is what Christ was calling me to do, well I would try
all endeavors, great or small, and virtuous living no matter what your station in life is the very greatest of all endeavors.... but as I was saying, all endeavors, great or small, are impossible through human efforts alone
we are a weak and fallen race
for EVERYTHING we do, we need the grace of Christ to animate us

as for it being illogical
well I believe St. Paul was unmarried
and he even recommends that others do not marry unless they have to

1 Corinthians 7:8-9
“Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion”

If this command is illogical, then why would God have allowed it to be in the Bible?

or maybe it is illogical if we are looking at things with earthly wisdom
where all that matters is the short amount of time we draw breath
that we draw whatever comforts this harsh would can provide
but we do not live for ourselves, we live for Christ

Romans 6:8
Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him.

and this cold harsh world is NOT our home, we are citizens of the Heavenly Jerusalem
1 Peter 2:11
Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from sinful desires, which wage war against your soul.

as foreigners and exiles
this World is not our friend
this World does not offer peace
but we have a Lord who is our friend
we have a Lord who is the Prince of Peace

.Mikha'el. · Jan 11, 2015

It's what I think is absolutely going to happen with me, to the point where a CF friend sent me Flirting for Dummies for Christmas one year. It can't stop me from hoping, wishing, and dreaming for romance though.

scraparcs · Jan 11, 2015

It's looking pretty possible so far, I say in my more cynical moments.

JackofSpades · Jan 11, 2015

Yes, I think I could. I'm just fine on my own. But, that doesn't mean I'm actively pursuing such way of life. I would prefer to be with someone in the future, but if that turns out to not happen, I could do fine being alone aswell.

But, I have to mention that I've never been in situation where someone is being told by other people that they should live in celibacy? That sounds very invasive.

KitKatMatt · Jan 11, 2015

What is celibacy defined as, actually? I would need to know that before answering the question fully.

.Mikha'el. · Jan 11, 2015

I took the OP to mean that it was perpetual singleness.

Bobthemotorcycle · Jan 11, 2015

It is lonely being single for the rest of your life.

I did not become a Christian until I was 30 and I had a kid when I was 26 but I have never been married.

Before I was a Christian I was too wild and no woman in her right mine would have me. Now since I am a Christian and do not sleep around outside of marriage I can not find anybody that I can stand. I look at everybody and think to myself that they are too worldly and it would not be a blessing but a curse if I ended up with them.

You are young and very cute and I know if you look in the right places you will find what is meant to be.

After awhile you will get hard and it will be hard to find somebody and you will be lonely. I am use to it and have adapted and I was able to put a lot of energy into raising my son.

I myself do not want to bring kids into this world as I believe we are in for some very hard times and raising Christian children in this world my be too much for them.

I will repeat this once more. It is lonely being single but after you get use to it there is no other way. I hope you find who you are meant to be with soon as I believe most Christian people should find their match at a younger age. If you wait too long then it gets harder.

Just my opinion and not fact.

Bobthemotorcycle · Jan 11, 2015

KitKatMatt said:
What is celibacy defined as, actually? I would need to know that before answering the question fully.

Webster Dictionary

Ce`lib´a`cy

n. 1. The state of being unmarried; single life, esp. that of a bachelor, or of one bound by vows not to marry.

PS. In most instances it also means not having sex outside of marriage since sex is meant for married people only according to most.

Rhamiel · Jan 11, 2015

NWAB said:
Webster Dictionary

Ce`lib´a`cy

n. 1. The state of being unmarried; single life, esp. that of a bachelor, or of one bound by vows not to marry.

PS. In most instances it also means not having sex outside of marriage since sex is meant for married people only according to most.

seems like a reasonable definition for the purposes of this thread

KitKatMatt · Jan 11, 2015

Thanks for the definition!

The only time I've heard the word was in reference to not having sex, so honestly the OP threw me.

I could take or leave marriage, honestly. But I want a friend to be close to. I don't really desire sex at all, but I do desire closeness and emotional bonds.

TheGirlOnFire · Jan 11, 2015

I think Celibacy is a calling as such, and am sure to the people who go down the celibacy road, have it in their heart to do so. But to know i would never be with anyone. Never find love again.

No i couldn't do it. I hate being single. Like i've been sick all week and it's just me that's it no one to bring me soup or making sure i am ok.

Before i came a christian i was with someone for 7 years, actually this is the longest i have ever been single since i was 17, i think god maybe is teaching me something lol

I know their is someone out their for me, their has to be.

Sketcher · Jan 11, 2015

I'm introverted enough that I could very well be single for the rest of my life. But I don't want to be. I don't want to become so sexually desperate that I sin with someone else. And I don't always want to be "that guy." I want to be celibate until marriage, but I don't want to wait that long.

Nanopants · Jan 11, 2015

I couldn't be celibate for life.

For me, family and relationships add structure and meaning to life. They give it purpose, and I cannot imagine any other purpose for my life which isn't empty of any real significance. I know Paul said for him to live is Christ and to die is gain, and maybe his apostleship made that work somehow, but I am not an apostle like Paul, so for me, when people start using very selective messages from scripture to pressure others to remain single, the christian faith can become the end of life. It becomes bad news rather than good news, and I find it to be very psychologically unhealthy.

It's that sort of pressure that pushed me to really research it, and I was surprised to find out that the law of the bondservant (Paul refers to himself as a bondservant of Christ), actually includes marriage as a condition for a servant to remain with his master to become a bondservant. In other words, the servant is supposed to be set free and he can choose to stay as a bondservant if he has a wife in the master's household. I found that to be somewhat liberating to know that God's heart on the matter is to not enslave people in any kind of bondage that would cause them to hate life.

christsoccer · Jan 11, 2015

I am and will be celibate until my time on earth is up or I get married. I don't personally desire lifelong singleness unless that is God's will for my life.
I won't expend energy trying to do something about it and leave it in God's hands but again, my preference is to have a partner for my remaining years on earth.

Cearbhall · Jan 11, 2015

JackofSpades said:
But, I have to mention that I've never been in situation where someone is being told by other people that they should live in celibacy? That sounds very invasive.

Yes, I'm trying to imagine in what context someone would say this.

Messy · Jan 11, 2015

graciesings said:
I've had multiple Christians tell me, lately, that I shouldn't ever marry. Just don't date anyone. Be single all your life....

(I am not starting this thread with the intent of debating that advice.)

my question is.... could you do that? Would you? why?

it seems like an impossible, illogical proposition to me right now, although I see why they say so.

Can't do that anymore, I've already been married, but I really wanted a partner and God said no, marry Me, time is short, they were marrying and giving into marriage and I had a dream of Jesus and me on a boat and because He said it to me personally I can do it, not immediately by the way. It took me a year or so. I Always needed to have a man. Sometimes I complain to Him and then I think: Well it's okay, no problem, You know better. It probably would become the next disaster anyway in my case. But others telling me what to do, that won't work.

orangeness365 · Jan 11, 2015

I keep telling myself that I will stay celibate, but my family points out the truth, which is that I'm boy crazy, and would probably be better off getting married at some point, rather than staying celibate. I keep changing my mind every five minutes about whether to stay celibate or to get married. I don't know why I'm so obsessed with romantic love, when I've only had one boyfriend, and that only lasted for 3 months. The rest of my life I have only flirted with guys, but I don't think I've ever been ever truly in deep love, but I do get crushes often.

Rhamiel · Jan 11, 2015

Cearbhall said:
Yes, I'm trying to imagine in what context someone would say this.

maybe the OP can elaborate for us?

sehnsucht9 · Jan 11, 2015

graciesings said:
I've had multiple Christians tell me, lately, that I shouldn't ever marry. Just don't date anyone. Be single all your life....

(I am not starting this thread with the intent of debating that advice.)

my question is.... could you do that? Would you? why?

it seems like an impossible, illogical proposition to me right now, although I see why they say so.

I'm a little surprised. The usually comments among Christians is to get married and have a family. I'm curious as to why they would say this to a young woman. Are they telling you this as a means of you focusing on your studies than thinking of marriage later on or never get married at all?
It would some what be refreshing for me to hear that comment because it becomes overwhelming and almost hurtful when people continually comment on why I am single.

Now to answer your question, no I do not believe celibacy is for me. I know I want to be married. I've longed to be a wife for a long time. Sometimes, I feel hopeful it will happen and other times the sadness consumes me that it hasn't happened or it won't. I focus on other things to get myself together and be more realistic. It will happen when it does.

Celibacy?

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