Cat's Jumping In!!!

[BigToe]

I don't know what marmite is?

Tonight at the film festival I went to, I saw this boy who looked sort of like the first boy i ever dated (which was when I was 20) but I didn't know if it was him anyway because he doesn't live here anymore. should i have tried to talk to the guy to see if it was him?

 

[USincognito]

How do you like my outfit, and what accessories do you think I should add to it?

 

[BigToe]

do you have any regrets?

 

[Cat59]

I don't know what marmite is?

Tonight at the film festival I went to, I saw this boy who looked sort of like the first boy i ever dated (which was when I was 20) but I didn't know if it was him anyway because he doesn't live here anymore. should i have tried to talk to the guy to see if it was him?

Marmite is a much nicer sort of vegemite.
But everyone else I know hates it...

And I probably wouldn't have said anything but then I never really went out with anyone (except one) before my hubbie, so that sort of thing doesn't happen to me.

How do you like my outfit, and what accessories do you think I should add to it?

It's interesting and interesting I like. I would worry about your knees getting cold so some knee type warmers would be good...

do you have any regrets?

Hmmm...
I have one regret really that never goes away, no matter how I try. And it comes with guilt supplied. Mostly I try not to regret as it doesn't help, things that are done are done. But I will always regret in the first 24 hours of Tom's life I didn't stand up and yell "something's wrong!" rather than meekly say things like "I'm really worried about him.." to which the answer was "I'm worried about mine dear too, and he's 17."
Maybe then, at the age of 17 going on 18, he wouldn't be brain damaged.

 

[BigToe]

Isn't it odd how we work? To regret not saying something when looking back we see an opportunity that maybe would have changed things for what we think is the better? But is it fair to beat ourselves up over those things, because we didn't know then what would happen? It isn't like it is really our faults for these things, so why do we take on that burden?

 

[Cat59]

I don't know. It's something we do when we really don't need to. I'm better about it now than I was before. I couldn't forgive myself for many years over it and allowed it to drive my anger towards those I blamed, like the nurse who made the flippant comment. I just wanted to meet her, to show her what had happened, to make her realise that she was in some way responsible, to make her share the pain I felt.

But it didn't help to think that and it just ate into me, making me bitter, and not able to move on, as I think I've said before. No one woke up that morning deciding to brain damage a child and if they knew that their inaction had led to it, they would probably feel as wretched as I do at times about it.

So, in a way, I can carry that regret with at least the knowledge that others are spared the burden of it, because they never got to hear the end of the story. Because it wasn't their intent that he should suffer, nor was it mine.

And he is still one lovely dude, who I wouldn't be without.

 

[BigToe]

what is your fave holiday? why?

 

[Cat59]

My fave holiday is the August Bank Holiday (last Monday in August here.)
It has associations of going to beaches and playing on the sand as a child and watching the waves crash over the rocks and not having to worry about anything...

 

[BigToe]

that sounds like a very lovely holiday.

so, i had a dream about you last night. i dont remember much, just know that it was you in the dream. is that weird?

 

[Cat59]

No.
Although it would be weird if I were eating brussel sprouts, because I hate those.

 

[scraparcs]

Do you know I've never had a dream about you yet, I don't think?

 

[Cat59]

Interesting....
Now I know that, I expect I'll probably dream about you...

 

[mnphysicist]

Whats wrong with brussel sprouts?

 

[Cat59]

Smell, taste, look, their very position as a so called vegetable rather than a form of cruel and unusual punishment is a mystery to me...

 

[scraparcs]

Interesting....
Now I know that, I expect I'll probably dream about you...

Will it be a nightmare?

 

[Cat59]

I doubt it!
Unless you forcefeed me Brussel sprouts...

 

[BigToe]

Well, I know I didn't dream you were eating those as I don't like them either and if they were in a dream it would be a nightmare. I just remember it was a nice dream.

Why are my allergies killing me with a slow and painful death?

 

[Cat59]

Because that is what allergies do, I expect. It looks like I've got Rheumatoid arthritis, which is a form of allergy, so they're doing it to me too.
Perhaps they're just not very nice.
Maybe if I threatened them with some brussel sprouts they would go away and leave us alone.

I'm off to France for a few days for my sponsored walk, by the way, so I hope this thread doesn't fill up with lots on unanswered questions, as I'm writing a book on my return (nanowrimo.)
Perhaps I should appoint a deputy.

 

[dignitized]

Will you miss me as much as I will miss you?

 

[BigToe]

Are you taking care of yourself? Did you know I bought you a tshirt I plan on mailing at some point in the future, it's silly and I thought you'd like it.