Catch and Release

[~HopeFloats~]

Have you ever dated just for the rush of the catch and knowing full well you would be releasing that person with no intention of long term?

Would that be considered mind games/player?

Or is it just dating.....

 

[PureSolace]

Have you ever dated just for the rush of the catch and knowing full well you would be releasing that person with no intention of long term?

Would that be considered mind games/player?

Or is it just dating.....

I wouldn't advise doing that. If you're looking for permission to do that. I'm not the boss of you.

 

[~HopeFloats~]

I wouldn't advise doing that. If you're looking for permission to do that. I'm not the boss of you.

I am not doing it, I am just looking to disscuss it

 

[PureSolace]

I am not doing it, I am just looking to disscuss it

Ok, what about it do ya wanna discuss?

 

[catofhope]

Have you ever dated just for the rush of the catch and knowing full well you would be releasing that person with no intention of long term?

Would that be considered mind games/player?

Or is it just dating.....

NO I have never done that and would never do that.
I suppose it is mind games/"playing".

I just think it is wrong to consider the other person in such low esteem.
It certainly is not Christian in my book.

 

[vjaine]

I've casually dated people just to date. I don't consider it being a player or playing mind games unless you're dishonest or intentionally trying to lead someone on. I let my dates know from the beginning that I was not looking for anything serious and that I was dating others as well. Honesty is key.

Dating was fun and I didn't spend more time with anyone whom I felt had no potential. Even now, even though I'm not dating casually, I try my best not to lead men when I'm not interested - i.e. accepting favors, dates, calling just to talk, etc.

 

[~HopeFloats~]

I've casually dated people just to date. I don't consider it being a player or playing mind games unless you're dishonest or intentionally trying to lead someone on. I let my dates know from the beginning that I was not looking for anything serious and that I was dating others as well. Honesty is key.

Dating was fun and I didn't spend more time with anyone whom I felt had no potential. Even now, even though I'm not dating casually, I try my best not to lead men when I'm not interested - i.e. accepting favors, dates, calling just to talk, etc.

Ok that is exactly what I was talking about, I know we are called to guard our hearts but is it wrong to date knowing full well they would not be a life partner?

I think maybe it would be playing games if you were not forth coming with your intent.. leading them on..

But really when we date to we ever really know if it is going to be long term??

 

[mina]

I don't know. I've never had the ease of having a date when i wanted it . But i probably would not do that to someone unless i was in 7th grade.

 

[Stratiotes]

I guess I wouldn't necessarily say its a terrible thing / playing games if you are absolutely honest about it.

I really don't see the point though. To me, that would just add alot of unnecessary temptation. I'd prefer just to be friends and hang out with a girl than date just for the heck of it.

 

[lightman281]

If I was dating for someone for a while.. Even just hanging out or whatnot. And she knew that I was interested, I would be seriously upset if X amount of time into "dating" she told me "Oh, i'm just dating, and I'm not looking for anything long term." That is a phonebook deletion right there.
I have a friend whom I socialize with several times a month. I told her about the third time we went out that I wasn't interested. If you don't then that leads to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.

 

[Stratiotes]

And besides that, if a guy really falls in love with you, he may think "Well she says she doesn't want to be serious, but maybe I can win her heart." So even if you are honest, i can see how it still might break someone's heart.

 

[vjaine]

Ok that is exactly what I was talking about, I know we are called to guard our hearts but is it wrong to date knowing full well they would not be a life partner?

I think dating someone romantically that's not Mr. Long Term is a waste of time - but dating can also be a casual, non-romantic activity so then it's just like hanging out with a friend. Some people can be "just friends" with opposite sex and have no feelings attached and go out and have a good time regularly with them.

I think maybe it would be playing games if you were not forth coming with your intent.. leading them on..

But really when we date to we ever really know if it is going to be long term??

I don't think somone can ever say without a doubt that something will be long term - we're talking about fallen human beings. That being said, I believe someone has long term potential if there's mutual attraction, values, faith, and goals. If that person is just not interested in being Mr. Long Term, it doesn't matter anyway. Ironically, dating several people can help guard your heart, too. It kept me from getting too emotionally wrapped up in one person for a while.

 

[puffca]

Have you ever dated just for the rush of the catch and knowing full well you would be releasing that person with no intention of long term?

Would that be considered mind games/player?

Or is it just dating.....

Depends on your honest answer to the following question:
Would you be bothered if a guy does that to you?

If the answer is no, congratulations, you are elligible to do that. If it is yes, well, golden rule...

 

[Niels]

If somebody gets their kicks from "catch and release", and their target isn't aware of this from the beginning, then shady games are being played. It's every bit as dishonest as the old "bait and switch" tactic... when one product is advertised, but an inferior/different product is delivered.

I think casual dating is fine, but you should be up-front and honest about where you stand, taking the other person's feelings into consideration.

 

[ImperialPhantom]

No problem with casual dating if, as some said, nobody is misled. It's a good practice for guys who are love-shy, with no confidence and experience in asking out a girl, or talking to a girl, and heck, you could end up with a new friend out of it.

 

[A Taffer]

I think that if you are upfront and honest at the beginning and let the other person know you just want to spend some time and have some fun, no strings attached, ok. Thats casual dating. However, if you do this just for the thrill of doing it and never tell the other person your intentions, then thats deceptive and really not nice. Lots of people begin with casual fun dating styles just to spend time having fun, and then later, it may or may not progress to something more serious. Which if it does, thats when you or they, whoever has the feelings, can communicate if they want to take things further or not.

 

[archetype]

No problem with casual dating if, as some said, nobody is misled. It's a good practice for guys who are love-shy, with no confidence and experience in asking out a girl, or talking to a girl, and heck, you could end up with a new friend out of it.

lol...thats me

 

[Luther073082]

Have you ever dated just for the rush of the catch and knowing full well you would be releasing that person with no intention of long term?

Would that be considered mind games/player?

Or is it just dating.....

I think that is kind of a mind game and pretty similar to leading someone on. When your dating you need to consider someone else's feelings in the whole situation.

And if they think that there is a chance of a long term relationship there and your just having fun then that is completly wrong to the other person. They would not only invest their time but also their emotions on the just dating thing. On top of that during that time if they are convinced its going someplace they could be ignoring opprotunities with other people that COULD/WOULD lead to a long term relationship for them.

As soon as you become convinced that there is not and could no be anything long term happening here you need to let them know immeidatly. What you do after that is up to you. If you guys still want to go out as friends with both of you knowing there is nothing long term happening then go right ahead. (Although I would only suggest that if the feeling was completly mutual.)

But if you are just dating the person cause you like the attention then your doing them very wrong.

I think dating someone romantically that's not Mr. Long Term is a waste of time - but dating can also be a casual, non-romantic activity so then it's just like hanging out with a friend. Some people can be "just friends" with opposite sex and have no feelings attached and go out and have a good time regularly with them.

Exactly my feelings on it as long as both people know. Dating in my book is two people of the opposite sex going out someplace. Doesn't have to be romantic in any way. I mean I would hope that most girls here have had a few daddy/daughter dates. And maybe the mothers have had mother/son dates. And I've personally gone out on dates with friends and know a lot of people have. I remember I think one of the guys on the ballroom dance team took a girl from the team to a wedding with him simpily because he needed someone to dance with at the reception. (once you've known a good waltz or a Rumba, you really get bored by the regular old "sway" dancing that everyone else does.

 

[white dove]

Have you ever dated just for the rush of the catch and knowing full well you would be releasing that person with no intention of long term?

Would that be considered mind games/player?

Or is it just dating.....

I think these questions have great potential. It brings up a wonderful question for all single people to ask themselves at one time or another: Do we date someone we don't think we could ever grow with?


For one thing, no I have never dated anyone just to have someone to date, just for the rush of asking someone out or having someone ask me out. I think that's pretty ridiculous...aaand an incredible waste of time and resources. If someone's ego is that hard-up, they should probably considering doing such things on match.com or something. Not that I'm judging.





BUT, I have been open to dating guys I can't "see" a future with (per se). I will date guys who attract me in a few ways, but not in all ways. Why? I used to have this mindset that was soo stuck on finding someone quality, a man who was worth my time and someone who attracts me (physically, intellectually, spiritually -all 3) as much as I attract him. In an ideal world, that's how all people would hook-up. However, having lived for 28yrs and witnessing what I've witnessed, I cannot say that that kind of mindset will work for everyone. I know plenty of married couples who've said that they weren't immediately attracted to their spouse, but that their attraction grew over time. Do you think those people could've "seen a future" with their significant other? Probably not. I, myself, have had plenty of situations where my first impressions of someone completely stunk. That, and I do have terrible eyesight from time to time, as well. All signs point to "winner."



Grant it, I still don't believe in wasting my time, nor do I believe in wasting emotions and hurting other people's feelings. I don't enjoy any of those things. But, as long as your intentions are clear and you keep things as casual as possible in the beginning, allowing whatever connection or lack of a connection to occur and being honest about it all, you'll be fine.

 

[Im_A]

Have you ever dated just for the rush of the catch and knowing full well you would be releasing that person with no intention of long term?

Would that be considered mind games/player?

Or is it just dating.....

i find it to be a waste of time. never done it/never done it intentionally. this is one area i don't want to be wasteing my time with if it isn't something serious and the last thing i want to do is date women that i could really careless to have a long-term/serious relationship with.

but i wouldn't call it mind playing if both sides are honest with each other about it. that way no one is fooling anyone. now if one is hiding it from the other side, then sure, that's mind games right there. i'm not saying it is right or that i agree with it tho.

player? i'm inclined to say yes personally.

makes me wonder what people define as dating.