Catch 22

[2Timothy2]

Just a thought. Anyone see a problem with this situation?

If we guys show interest and ask a lady out at church or a Christian function, we get the reaction "We ladies don't come to church to get hit on. This should be a place we can come and not worry about this sort of thing."

If we guys refrain from disturbing you in this way at church or a Christian function, we get the reaction "Why don't Christian guys ever ask us out? They all must be scared, uncertain wimps."

I am reminded of the saying: "If a man speaks in a forrest, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?"

 

[JohnnyV]

I am reminded of the saying: "If a man speaks in a forrest, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?"

Thats Funny,

It is strange how that works, I dont have any easy answers to the problem though. I guess its just something you have to take your chances on.

 

[caitlincares]

Well, I have read some guys saying they ought to go to church to meet Christian gals.
And the gals responded negatively to that.
It was because the intent of going to church was wrong.

The guy needs to be going to church for the right reason...
Then him getting together with a gal who also is going to church for the right reason is COOL.

In college I decided on a church and my circle of friends was those from the church rather than the college.
And yes there was a guy who I dated from the church.
But we were both committed in our Christian walks and going to church.

 

[chickenfeet]

hmm... i cant say i can relate to what ur saying..

the church i go to is pretty laid back. they don't seem to have that problem. its like a meat market. guy's are on one side of the church.. chicks on the other.. then after the band stops playing, theres a 15 min coffee break. and during that 15 mins all the dudes will find some chick they are interested in, and invite em to sit on their side.. some chicks dig it.. i don't.

its kinda funny to watch tho.. after a few short monthes you see all these girls sporting engagement rings.

i swear.. i think theres a conspiracy to get all single ppl married by the end of the service.

i think its humorous.. but i aint about to participate.. tis why i rarely go.

 

[jepvc4]

I say, rage against the settling down syndrome of college Christians! Live a little, travel, have some adventure. Then, eventually, settle down. Just don't do it until you've been in the real world a little while.

I don't think that every individual girl does the catch-22, but girls as a group might show that kind of behavior. I'm on the side of those who say you should seek God first, pursue friendships with the women, and serve them. Work on winning their affections by serving them, not by putting your moves on them.

 

[2Timothy2]

I say, rage against the settling down syndrome of college Christians! Live a little, travel, have some adventure. Then, eventually, settle down. Just don't do it until you've been in the real world a little while.

Now that's funny.


I'm not saying every woman displays both sides of this. I was simply making a humorous observation. Turn one way, get whollopped. Turn the other, get whollopped. Not every time or by every woman. But often enough. It's just part of the game, if you will.

 

[jepvc4]

This year in my church there were 5 new wedded couples. Five! That was a very awkward season indeed. There were many people who were very happy for the pending brides and grooms, and yet wanted to distance themselves from this unspoken clique. You could notice all the engaged girls talking with each other about plans, and couples associating more with each other for "couples" activities, and many other people left on the outside of it all.

I understand the humor. Girls, they're all different creatures. You have to get to know them, and even then they turn out to be hard to read sometimes. Even if you come across as genuine, you may still risk being misunderstood as being some sort of womanizer or if you pull away as being too shy. Go with your heart though, stay open to opinion, and only listen to those people who you feel are truly understanding you.

A friend of mine once said, "To catch yourself a good lady, follow after God as hard as you can. Then, after you've done that long enough, look over your shoulder and see who's following you."

 

[mina]

Try being friends with girls first. Get to know them as people before you ask them out. As a girl I don't want to feel like some guy was using church as a way to ask me out or meeet women. However, if a guy was invovlved in church and serving God anyways and got to know me a little bit as a friend before he asked me out then I would be more likely to say yes, because I would know that his faith has nothing to do with me and more to do with pleasing God. I don't want to go to church to get asked out. I go to focus on God. As you get to know someone you can tell if they are truly intrested in God or just there to meet the opposite sex.

 

[SuperTech]

What's the big deal? They should just say no if they are not interested! I don't see a problem.

 

[2Timothy2]

Wow, this thread has been totally misunderstood. I am not complaining or looking for advice here. I am simply trying to point out something I find funny. Thanks for the thoughts, but it wasn't what I was going for.

If you knew me a little, you would know that I would not post a whining I'm so lonely thread. For those who do post those, I hope you get some comfort here, it just isn't something I would do or need to do. So, this isn't one of those. Sorry for any misunderstandings here. LOL It was supposed to be humorous. Well, to me it was and is.

 

[jepvc4]

*whines* I'm lonely....

Time to cuddle my teddy bear!

 

[kelco]

I am reminded of the saying: "If a man speaks in a forrest, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?"

Yes.

 

[SandyLou]

If a woman responded in this manner. . .she may just be trying to politely say she's not interested in you.
As you may have noted from several other threads, many woman DO look within their churches for meaningful relationships.

 

[Desert Fox]

There is a very simple solution to this "Catch 22": Be yourself and don't worry about what someone might think of you.

If you want to chase some girl at church, do it! It's a free country and it's your right to be a heterosexual male. If they think this is "inappropriate," tell them: "That's me, take it or leave it."

If your not interested in the girls, then ignore them and don't make excuses.

As for me, I tend to think that church is a very bad place to meet nice girls. There are much better places.