Car crash

[New_Found_Faith]

I wasn't in one, but nearly.

My question is just, when something terrible happens in your everday life, like a car accident or job loss, etc. How do you handle it?

I find myself fixated on what happened, unable to just shrug it off. If I am in a mood where I'm focused on my faith and something like that happens, I feel soured by the event and what happens consumes my thoughts and attitude for a long time afterward. I feel terrible, humiliated and ashamed because of what could have happened.

I wish that I could react differently.

Does anyone have some advice (biblical or nonbiblical) to help me handle these kinds of situations?

 

[CuddlyBear]

There are two possibilities there that I see. 1/ Unresolved trauma that needs help to work through or 2/ an upsetting situation you haven't had closure on. The second you can ask yourself what you need to in order to get closure on the situation. The first can take either professional help or time to resolve. If you are experiencing flashbacks, bad dreams, fear of getting in a car due to the accident, for example, you may need to talk this through with someone who can help you process it. If you are feeling angry about a situation that is sometimes understandable and it's not wrong to have those feelings for a time. Once again, you may need somewhere safe to vent those feelings as part of the process of working through them. I think that part of working through those feelings means acknowledging them rather than telling ourselves it's wrong to feel that way and trying to suppress them. If you are fixated on a situation you are 'stuck' and might need to talk to someone to move forward. Is there someone you can talk to safely who can direct you appropriately?

 

[Autumnleaf]

Dedicate 20 minutes to be uninterrupted and just think about the crash or potential crash. Just think about that and try not to let your mind wander. After that set the thought free.

 

[Peripatetic]

For me, they are often learning experiences.

I was rear-ended quite hard at a red light a few months ago, and my beloved newish car had to be in the shop for 5 weeks (the whole back end had to be rebuilt). I was pretty upset when it happened, but soon I realized that it was a test for me. How well could I keep perspective on the matter? I reminded myself that a car is just a thing. I was blessed that nobody was hurt, and that I live in a time and place where insurance takes care of everything.

A few weeks ago, I almost hit a pedestrian walking across the street at night that I didn't see. It shook me up, and that too was a time to put things in perspective. I thanked God for preventing a tragedy, and I try to be even more alert at night now.

 

[Pompa Mike]

I think that some things effect us differently, I worked in an emergency room for years, most of the time I didn't get too upset at what I saw, one night I was driving to work and I saw a fairly serious accident happen right in front of me, it did shake me up quite a bit. I had a hard time shaking that one off.
I do like the idea listed above about thinking about it for 20 minutes, I think that might have a way of desensitizing the event. Sometimes if I try to push something out of my mind it pushes back.

 

[New_Found_Faith]

1/ Unresolved trauma that needs help to work through

Out of curiosity, what specifically about my post made you think that I have unresolved trauma? Also are you saying that the trauma is related specifically to the accident or are you saying that my reaction could be based on previously unresolved trauma? I definitely didn't want to get in the car after that, but I was able to and felt pretty normal while driving afterwards.

For me, they are often learning experiences... I thanked God for preventing a tragedy, and I try to be even more alert at night now.

I'm beginning to feel the same way. I still feel ashamed and kind of in shock for making a boneheaded maneuver when I usually pride myself on being a safe driver, but you're right. Thank God for his protection, and thank him for the learning experience.

BTW, thanks to everyone for the great replies. I feel better just being able to talk to someone about the situation.

 

[CuddlyBear]

When I say trauma I mean related to the accident. Some people might not react at all, some might react strongly, others fall in between to varying degrees. For example, once I experienced a trauma that threatened to take my life. I experienced a mild post traumatic reaction after that and for a while afterwards, the sound of ambulance sirens gave me chills and flashbacks. Talking through it helped and the reaction lessened over time. You were kind of vague about specifically what you were experiencing so I gave you a broad answer