Can't take much more...

[Harpuia]

I've tried... and tried... and tried...

18 years now.

And I'm still single.

I'm getting sick of it. I really am. I know that if I have someone that my life will turn around and luck will start coming to me again. All I have to do is find my angel... but it's easier said than done. I don't know why I can't find anyone. Apparently, I have bad luck when it comes to relationships, and, well, I'm sick of it.

So I'm giving myself an ultimatum.

I have decided to give myself 90 more days to find someone or I will... go away, so to speak. I refuse to live the rest of my life single and that's the road that is headed for me if I keep this up. I'm 18 now, most of my friends are married and all of them but me are in a relationship. I have nothing left to give to myself, and I find myself at night crying wishing I was dead because my soul is so cold. It's gotten so cold to the point where I'm freezing in 85 degree temperatures outside.

I can't live like this anymore. There are no good qualities to being single. I see all these happy couples and I wish for a chance at someone in my life. I'm sick of being this... this... thing that everyone just scoffs at and walks away.

I'm sick of my falling grades because I have no support. I'm sick of being hated continuously, and having all these friends that are girls who want to be with me but are stuck with their boyfriends. I'm sick of it, SICK OF IT, SICK OF IT!!! I won't live like this any longer. My life will change, one way or another. I don't care what it has to take. I'm tired of people bragging their relationships in my face, both on and offline, tired of seeing all this romance around my college campus. I want my own fair share too. I don't want to die alone, or marry someone when I'm 70 and too old to love someone, and have to start worrying about going to heaven.

Words of a lost soul...

 

[OttawaUk]

Sweetheart, I was 21 until I started serious relationships. Never give up, there's probably thousands of "the guy" for you, just have faith.

Life is whatever you make of it, and it can be done with or without a boyfriend. Some people go their whole lives without getting married, and they die old and happy!

Just have faith, and you'll be fine. We all love you!

 

[chanis]

ok you are super young...you're just 18 and here you are complaining on how life is bad and if oyu had someone it would be better let me tell you something...you first need to become the ideal mate before you can be in a serious relationship adn from the sounds of it I think there's some underlying issues that need to be dealt with before you enter in to a relationship...you can't bring baggage that can later create problems...I bet you're an awesome person but don't get all ancy and put yourself down...that's retarded...you have a life ahead of you with a bright future...I'm 25 and I'm very happy being single don't get me wrong it would be nice but I'm not letting the whole thought of it dictate my life...learn to be content in any state you're in as paul says...

 

[Saviot'Valuan]

A person will come along. It's more than 'being in a relationship,' but should be regarded as 'being in a correct relationship.' Pray for someone to come, and have patience with god, and in return god will bless you with a relationship that will blow your friends and married friends away. The first guy to come might not be the right guy. You still must keep a focus on right vs wrong. Look at the guys morals, see how he treats his siblings and his family. And pay attention to his relationship with god. 'A relationship under god is a strong relationship'

 

[Cherub8]

Dude, I'm 2 years older and am not complaining. It's all in God's timing. The fact is, you will be single until you learn how to enjoy being single. God does not lead us into a situation we're not ready for. So, before you meet your mate, you'll need to surrender your life to God. I have just begun to realize this. I need to find absolute JOY in worshipping Jesus BEFORE God will give me my sweetheart. I'm not quite there yet, but God is teaching me.

Getting into a relationship when you're not ready is unwise. I let my feelings get the best of me once, and so did the girl; in the end, the friendship was ruined. The most beautiful friendship I ever had was flushed down the toilet because of three simple words: "I love you." We essentially had no boundaries. That's because boundaries are learned as we mature spiritually and emotionally --- neither of us had that at the time. I was 19 and she was 17. For some that works great, but it's very rare.

You and I both need to be content with serving God before He will bring along Ms Right. I'll pray for you, and you please pray for me also. Deal?

God bless

 

[Sketcher]

Problem is, you are so desperate that you will turn women off. So if they don't say "no" on the outset, they will dump you later because your clinginess will wear them out. I've been down that road, and mercifully I didn't get the relationship - if I did, the fall would have been a hundred times harder. You've got to learn to be a real man, content without women. They're not all that they're cracked up to be, they are broken human beings just like yourself. A woman's love will not give you the security or comfort that you are looking for. In fact, the "women" your age are probably apt to not even love you because they don't know what love really is yet, either. And for your information, I'll be graduating college soon, never having had one girlfriend.

 

[Harpuia]

Girl?

I'm... a guy...

 

[JPPT1974]

First of all, leave it all in the hands of God to do His will & way.
Second, you are young so...STOP COMPLAINING Kid!!
Third, you need to be independent for awhile and enjoy being single.
Fourth, Take up the opportunities for being single and enjoy life.

 

[Niels]

There are many bad relationships out there. You just don't see it because nearly as many couples do a good job of covering it up. Be careful, you just might get what you wish for... plus a whole lot of stuff you never wanted. One of my older sisters and her husband (married in the mid '80s) are getting a divorce, and I thought they had the perfect relationship. Turns out, he was doing some horrible things, and my sister was miserable despite the happy facade.

That said I can kind of agree with part of what you're saying. I am very motivated by love, and without it I may lose steam (though God does sustain me). Then again, life can be a struggle either way you cut it. But if you think school etc. is difficult now that you're lonely... it can be even more draining to be stuck in a relationship with someone who isn't right for you.

 

[sweetlambofgod]

i'm single too, God will help you find someone, its just not time.

 

[remy]

I've gone through the same stuff, man. No one here can tell you exactly what you want to hear, but lemme tell you something...

1. Most people that are married, assuming they're your age, wont admit to wanting to have waited once they realize how much effort is required. Most guys will <edit> out and complain because of the menial stuff to deal with. Then again, maybe one man's idea of <edit> is another man's blessing.
2. College romances are a joke.
3. Two words: Social desirability. They want to look good in front of you, but once they get behind closed doors it gets ugly.
4. Chances of staying with any particular girl at your age are probably slim, and you might just get more angry with yourself because things dont work out and everything seems against you.
5. When your friends think you should hook up with someone to be as happy as them, they're not. They just want someone to suffer with.
6. How many "angels" will you have to go through before the pain ends?

That's barely the begining.

You sound like you've turned this into an idol, like a statue for example. you're hurting because it's not doing anything for you or giving anything in return for the attention it receives.

This is just all my advice, and I've had to learn the hard way. I never had anyone to tell me when to quit. I kept hearing, "all in God's timing," every time I talked to someone about it, and it began to sound like <edit> to me because I didn't want to wait. Your thoughts are not God's thoughts, draw closer to Him and he'll draw closer to you.

 

[PetraFan007]

I have come to the conclusion that some people were made to find love in what this society calls young. Screw the stereotypes, screw all this talk about 18 is too young. Did we have puberty at ages 12-13 so that we could wait until we are 30 to get married? I'm sorry but I won't take it any more either. I feel for you man. I'm 21 and never had a girl in my life, and frankly, it's stinks being alone. I don't think 21 is too young. Back in the day, people got married in their teens all the time. I don't want to hear this "times have changed" bullcrap, because quite frankly, that's all it is. And you can't convince me otherwise. Some people are more content being single. I've seen it! There's enough single people that enjoy it being single already! But I'm sure there's a girl out there that wants a guy like me to hold her and cuddle. Yes, I said cuddle. I'm a guy, and I said it, and I'm not ashamed. I want to make a girl feel like a princess and love her, and her love me. I'm not too young for it. Someone even a couple-three years younger they aren't too young either if that's where they are at. If this is too hard for people to understand, I'm sorry. I'm just sick of all the mindless diatribe going around about GROWN MEN (18+) being too young. Whose agenda are you pushing?

 

[fishstix]

I've tried... and tried... and tried...

18 years now.

And I'm still single.

I'm getting sick of it. I really am. I know that if I have someone that my life will turn around and luck will start coming to me again. All I have to do is find my angel... but it's easier said than done. I don't know why I can't find anyone. Apparently, I have bad luck when it comes to relationships, and, well, I'm sick of it.

So I'm giving myself an ultimatum.

I have decided to give myself 90 more days to find someone or I will... go away, so to speak. I refuse to live the rest of my life single and that's the road that is headed for me if I keep this up. I'm 18 now, most of my friends are married and all of them but me are in a relationship. I have nothing left to give to myself, and I find myself at night crying wishing I was dead because my soul is so cold. It's gotten so cold to the point where I'm freezing in 85 degree temperatures outside.

I can't live like this anymore. There are no good qualities to being single. I see all these happy couples and I wish for a chance at someone in my life. I'm sick of being this... this... thing that everyone just scoffs at and walks away.

I'm sick of my falling grades because I have no support. I'm sick of being hated continuously, and having all these friends that are girls who want to be with me but are stuck with their boyfriends. I'm sick of it, SICK OF IT, SICK OF IT!!! I won't live like this any longer. My life will change, one way or another. I don't care what it has to take. I'm tired of people bragging their relationships in my face, both on and offline, tired of seeing all this romance around my college campus. I want my own fair share too. I don't want to die alone, or marry someone when I'm 70 and too old to love someone, and have to start worrying about going to heaven.

Words of a lost soul...

Being single at 18 hardly means that you're for sure going to be single for your entire life. You have plenty of time to find someone, and you are a long way from 70. Yeah, being lonely is hard, but you don't have to be lonely just because you are single. Friendships can go a long way in easing loneliness - including friendships that are never going to be anything more than that. Something as simple as going bowling (or whatever activity you enjoy) with the guys can help. It won't totally take away the lonliness, but it can help.

The best relationship you can have is with God. I know it probably doesn't seem like it, but think of it this way: God is not going to dump you or break up with you. He isn't going to cheat on you with someone else. He's not going to leave you. You don't have to worry about Him discovering your hidden secrets. God won't scoff at your pain. He fully understands everything you are going through and knows exactly how you feel and why. God's love for you is unconditional - He gives it to you even when you don't deserve it. God will stick with you through all the bad times. No matter how much you may hurt Him, He won't walk out on you. God always has your best interests at heart. He always has time for you and He is always there for you. He loves you more deeply and more perfectly than any human being ever could, including a wife.

You say that you want the romance you are seeing around you. Well, most of the "romance" that you have seen around you is probably little more than lust. Most of the relationships in high school and even early university are really shallow and end up in heartache. They only temporarily alleviate lonliness and end up leaving a person even worse off than before. Some of the ones involving exceptionally mature people do lead to marriage, but those are more the exception than the rule. Happy looking couples aren't necessarily truly happy. They look like it from the outside, but if you actually knew what a lot of those relationships were like, they wouldn't look quite so appealing anymore.

If you're going to give yourself an challenge, how about something more along the lines of "I'm going to change my outlook on life and do my best to grow into the person God made me to be. Instead of focusing on what I don't have, I'm going to focus on the good things that I do have (and more importantly, on the One who gave me those good things). I'm going to leave self-pity behind and find something about what God had given me already to be content and satisfied with. I'm going to look forward to the good future that God has for me, including satisfying Godly relationships." Truly change your attitude to that and you'll find that things will start to improve. Maybe slowly, but surely. And instead of giving yourself 90 days, start doing that right away and give yourself a lifetime to keep working on it. Let God decide how long that lifetime is going to be.

 

[Cherub8]

Perhaps 18 years old was grown for you but it is not typical nowadays. There is a huge difference between 18 and 20, 21, etc. I would not play the age card with him, but he certainly needs to learn to find joy in being single. Otherwise there may be a long and miserable road ahead. Most guys will get married when they're around 26, which means he might have 8 years to go.

If he's talking about commiting suicide if he doesn't get a girl, then it's quite obvious he isn't ready to get a girl.

 

[revelations12_12]

I've gone through the same stuff, man. No one here can tell you exactly what you want to hear, but lemme tell you something...

1. Most people that are married, assuming they're your age, wont admit to wanting to have waited once they realize how much effort is required. Most guys will <edit> out and complain because of the menial stuff to deal with. Then again, maybe one man's idea of <edit> is another man's blessing.
2. College romances are a joke.
3. Two words: Social desirability. They want to look good in front of you, but once they get behind closed doors it gets ugly.
4. Chances of staying with any particular girl at your age are probably slim, and you might just get more angry with yourself because things dont work out and everything seems against you.
5. When your friends think you should hook up with someone to be as happy as them, they're not. They just want someone to suffer with.
6. How many "angels" will you have to go through before the pain ends?

That's barely the begining.

You sound like you've turned this into an idol, like a statue for example. you're hurting because it's not doing anything for you or giving anything in return for the attention it receives.

This is just all my advice, and I've had to learn the hard way. I never had anyone to tell me when to quit. I kept hearing, "all in God's timing," every time I talked to someone about it, and it began to sound like <edit> to me because I didn't want to wait. Your thoughts are not God's thoughts, draw closer to Him and he'll draw closer to you.

your words here were unreal! Very well said you gave me the chills.

 

[fishstix]

I have come to the conclusion that some people were made to find love in what this society calls young. Screw the stereotypes, screw all this talk about 18 is too young. Did we have puberty at ages 12-13 so that we could wait until we are 30 to get married? I'm sorry but I won't take it any more either. I feel for you man. I'm 21 and never had a girl in my life, and frankly, it's stinks being alone. I don't think 21 is too young. Back in the day, people got married in their teens all the time. I don't want to hear this "times have changed" bullcrap, because quite frankly, that's all it is. And you can't convince me otherwise. Some people are more content being single. I've seen it! There's enough single people that enjoy it being single already! But I'm sure there's a girl out there that wants a guy like me to hold her and cuddle. Yes, I said cuddle. I'm a guy, and I said it, and I'm not ashamed. I want to make a girl feel like a princess and love her, and her love me. I'm not too young for it. Someone even a couple-three years younger they aren't too young either if that's where they are at. If this is too hard for people to understand, I'm sorry. I'm just sick of all the mindless diatribe going around about GROWN MEN (18+) being too young. Whose agenda are you pushing?

18 (or 21) isn't necessarily too young, but it certainly isn't too old. And that's the first point that we are trying to get at - 18 year olds, 21 year olds, even 30 year olds are hardly geriatric people ready for the old folks' home with no chance left of finding love. Statements that basically mean "I'm single at the ripe old age of 20 so I must be doomed to a lifetime of singleness" just don't make sense.

There is also the fact that a lot of people who are physically mature aren't necessarily ready for a relationship. There are 30 year olds who are "too young" for a relationship, not because of their age but because of their maturity level. And there are some 16 year olds who are mature enough for a serious relationship. If someone isn't mature enough for a relationship, they're likely going to end up hurt (and hurting others) if they rush into one, regardless of their age.

 

[revelations12_12]

I have come to the conclusion that some people were made to find love in what this society calls young. Screw the stereotypes, screw all this talk about 18 is too young. Did we have puberty at ages 12-13 so that we could wait until we are 30 to get married? I'm sorry but I won't take it any more either. I feel for you man. I'm 21 and never had a girl in my life, and frankly, it's stinks being alone. I don't think 21 is too young. Back in the day, people got married in their teens all the time. I don't want to hear this "times have changed" bullcrap, because quite frankly, that's all it is. And you can't convince me otherwise. Some people are more content being single. I've seen it! There's enough single people that enjoy it being single already! But I'm sure there's a girl out there that wants a guy like me to hold her and cuddle. Yes, I said cuddle. I'm a guy, and I said it, and I'm not ashamed. I want to make a girl feel like a princess and love her, and her love me. I'm not too young for it. Someone even a couple-three years younger they aren't too young either if that's where they are at. If this is too hard for people to understand, I'm sorry. I'm just sick of all the mindless diatribe going around about GROWN MEN (18+) being too young. Whose agenda are you pushing?

Petra listen to me, you will find a girl for sure. The problem is girls your age are watching desperate housewives and sex in the city. American women are mostly, MOSTLY, superficial trash. they are raised on mtv and rediculous shows that tell them if a guy is not rich and is not tall and in shape and drives a cadallac escalade find one that is. if you are married find one to cheat with.
when you get to know some girls that are 26+ the game starts to change usually after they are used up, damaged goods and they have learned that those kind of people are superficial and meaningless. The thing is it takes women at least 8 years beyond highschool to get the rediculous fantasies about life out of their programming. They are not ALL used up, start a personal add on yahoo and profile yourself looking for a
"christain woman that I can take care of" age 25-28 and watch how many opportunities open up to you.

 

[Fatolia]

I do agree about the age card thing. He's definitely not too young for a girl.

But ask yourself something, man. Do you think you're mature enough to take care of a woman? Are you financially stable enough to handle marriage and kids? Because that's exactly what's going to happen once you get intimate with a woman. Or do you want a heated romance without committment?

Cheer up, man. You aren't the only one who wonders what it's like. But try to look at all the consequences of your decisions before it's too late.

 

[fishstix]

Petra listen to me, you will find a girl for sure. The problem is girls your age are watching desperate housewives and sex in the city. American women are mostly, MOSTLY, superficial trash. they are raised on mtv and rediculous shows that tell them if a guy is not rich and is not tall and in shape and drives a cadallac escalade find one that is. if you are married find one to cheat with.
when you get to know some girls that are 26+ the game starts to change usually after they are used up, damaged goods and they have learned that those kind of people are superficial and meaningless. The thing is it takes women at least 8 years beyond highschool to get the rediculous fantasies about life out of their programming. They are not ALL used up, start a personal add on yahoo and profile yourself looking for a
"christain woman that I can take care of" age 25-28 and watch how many opportunities open up to you.

And it should be noted that the same thing could be said of many young men.

 

[skier_lacey12]

This probably won't mean much coming from a 14 year old but God has a plan for you...he will send the right person for you...i have 2 verses for you to consider...
Jeramiah 29:11 For I know the plans i have for you, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding but acknowledge him in your ways and he will keep your path straight. Hope this helps!