Matt112 said:
Thank you all for the encouragement.
Whitehorse:
What else can do to ward off the devil's tactics? Now that you have mentioned them I see them in action. He told me I was hopeless, that I should kill myself, that God is a Liar, God hates sinners and that there is no hope for my soul.
Hi, Matt! Yep-that's what the devil will hope you'll do. Your prayers are very godly, and never is your soul safer than when God reveals His thoughts to you (as He must be doing, given what you've mentioned about your meditations and convictions). You seem to have very godly prayers and a willing heart; you're in good shape. One thing I do is keep a journal of all the devil's deceptions, and I write the specific nature of the attack and verses that counter them. If he tells you to kill yourself, refer him to these verses:
I corinthians 3:16
3:16Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?
3:17If any man defile F9 the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.
(The numbers intermixed in the verse are footnotes from crosswalk.com if you want to use it.)
Also, here's how Jesus handled this very same temptation: Matthew 4:5-7
4:5Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him on a pinnacle of the temple,
4:6And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone.
4:7Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt F7 the Lord thy God.
When he tells you you're hopeless, you can always point out to him that he must think you're worth bothering with. He doesn't attack people he doen't need to attack. Look at how godly your prayers are!
But after you tell him this, stay aware. He will try to create imbalance anywhere he can in your life, and the thing to pay most careful attention to is this: he can use your righteousness as a platform against you, not just sin. He does it by twisting your righteousness into an application, without your knowledge, that is ungodly, or gradually transforming it into another desire.
If you have great faith, he will try to set it off balance into presumption. If you are cautious about sin, he will try to turn it into self-righteousness. If you're guarding carefully against the flesh, he will try to take you too far in self-denial, even to the point where he can tell you God has placed a test before you: what do you love more: your God, or your food, for example? He did this to John Bunyan, author of The Pilgrim's Progress. [Bunyan's account is very conforting to read under assault. The account is called Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners, and you may be able to read it online. If not, it is in the Collective Works of John Bunyan published by Banner of Truth Trust. If your library or a Christian college library doesn't have it or access to it, you may be able to ask them to order it. If not, it's available directly from the publisher. It's in volume one-a really terrific read. The Pilgrim's Progress is also an allegory about Bunyan's quest for salvation. Good reading also.]
If satan presses you hard enough, he may tell you God is calling you to kill yourself to prove to him that you're so worthy you'd even starve yourself to death if need be. You're so good at denying youself that if you eat that food, you're proving you love your food more than God. He didn't go this far with Bunyan, but there are other accounts where satan has used this tactic. Trying to cover a terrible deed in righteous gilding, knowing the saint doesn't understand the significance of it, and hoping he will commit a deadly act out of a desire to be fully committed to God.
If you love to encourage the saints, he'll try to get you to neglect your family and destroy God's established means for support and godly comfort. Pastors often fall into this temptation.
If you love to study God's word, first satan will try to hinder you. When you become even more involved in it, he will try to keep you from using your knowledge to reach others, which in its most advanced state will cause spiritual death. God means for us to use all our knowledge talents and gifts proactively. [See parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-28]
If you do well, he will tempt you to pride. If you experience hardship, he will tempt you to discouragement-a paralyzing condition. The answer to all fo this is the shield of faith, but it's important not to neglect the rest of the armor in Ephesians 6, because the shield can get knocked out of our hands sometimes and we need the rest of the armor to build faith again and recover the shield.
One of the biggest things to guard against, too, is that satan will try to get you to commit acts of which you go not know the spiritual significance. Acts that can lead to spiritual death, but you don't know you're commiting anything heinous. In fact, you can pray for things you think are righteous, but in fact it's the opposite. The angel of light, satan appears as. A counterfeit of the Holy Spirit. Test all the spirits that talk to you; assume none are holy even of the words seem to be. Satan will use 99% truth if it will get you to trust him enough to buy the one percent lie. This is why prayer and meditation on the scriptures is ever so important. Also, The best Bible translation IMO is the King James, and some verses have key differences from the NIV that change the whole way we perceive a verse, but lexicons are good tools to help define what the best renderings are.
James 1 is a very good chapter for spiritual warfare, and one thing it tells us to do is to make sure we ask, with faith, for wisdom: If you ask God for wisdom to keep you from unwitting high crimes and then trust that He will, you will enjoy the sweetest and most reassuring fellowship with God. He often will keep you from stepping in a snare and then show you why He kept you from it-what the significance was. You'll lo-o-o-o-ove this fellowship because God will reveal secret and hidden things to you.
James 1:2-8
2*My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; F1 3*Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. 4*But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. 5*If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. 6*But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. 7*For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord. 8*A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.
Whatever gifts you have, now is the time to watch them and make sure you're using them with pinpoint precision.
The devil will also try to rob you of gifts, both spiritual and material, to create in you enough discouragement
that you will seek to comfort yourself with fleshly things and imbalances: too much or too little of anything.
Seek in every moment of the day to build the kingdom of God-it will keep your faith high and it will do what God requires in order to meet your needs and give you the desires of your heat. But if you seek the temporal needs first, God will spoil it and it will cause dissention between you and God. Then you may seek to comfort yourself with temporal things that will take your focus even more off of God.
All I ask is for you to pray for me to God to help me resist the devil and to continue seeking him.
I feel that God has comforted me a few times and he told me encouraging things like "Who ever has loved another person has stared in the face of God.". He told me I should love my friends and everybody and not ever hate them because of their sins. He also told me I was not hopeless and I could see a bright future for me in Christ.
It would be a privilege to pray for you, and also to answer any questions you may have. I've been down this road, too. The ironic thing is, the more we're in touch with our weaknesses, the safer we actually are. It helps us guard against them an it in itself is a sign of spiritual health. Satan will try to use past sins to discourage you, but in fact it is this understanding of our own sins that comes from God Himself. When satan tries to discourage you, remind him that it was the publican that went away justified, not the Pharisee. ...And, who is satan to condemn, anyway?
Luke 18:10-14:
18:10Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican.
18:11The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican.
18:12I fast twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess.
18:13And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner.
18:14I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.
Please just pray for me not to give in to all the evil thoughts.
This forum is a blessing.
It's a pleasure having you here as well!
Hello! It isn't exactly posted so I'll ask: Have you accepted Jesus? because if you truly have then you shouldn't doubt your salvation! It's just the Devil that is having you think that way! If you or anyone else ever want to talk you can always pm me! I would love to talk with you! 
