I am not trying to brag when I say that I am very gorgeous. Everywhere I go guys always notice me, I get so many compliments a day, and plenty of attention. Because of this I have become somewhat "stuck up" and prideful in the way I look. I love attention. The problem is that I have a b/f that I do love very much but I cannot help it but talk with other guys. I like being able to talk to who ever I want. I always look at guys and get thoughts like he's hot or wow nice eyes. The other day I went up to a guy and said "although I have a b/f you are the finest, most gorgeous guy I have ever seen!!!" I am to proud of my looks and what I can do with this advantage. My b/f loves me like nobody can. If anything were to happen between us I know how much it would hurt him. I am like his world and people including his parents always tell me that he is so in love with me and how lucky I am to be loved the way I am. But I still cannot help my problem. I actually wanted to break up with him so I could talk to whoever I want to and so I would not have to keep it from him. I know this behavior can give me a bad rep but I don't plan on dating any of my "guy friends" that I meet or let alone do anything wrong with them. I just like meeting alot of guys and having guy friends because I love the attention. Then again I can be really rude to guys and look down on so many guys because I feel to beautiful for them and they can never be good enough to talk to someone like me.
-
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
Can't help it that I am so beautiful
- Thread starter naturalbeauty
- Start date
A person's ego doesn't always have to be looked upon as an bad thing. We were made to have a humble ego. We can be confident in what we have and what we can do as long as we don't lose our humility. The Lord even speaks on people being beautiful in the bible. "Pride of life" is a sin though. You must keep those thoughts in check because not only will you hurt yourself but you will hurt others also.
Upvote
0
Kehaar
You're all I ever needed.
Hello there 
I think its part of human nature to need/want to feel loved and accepted and from what you've said in your post I think you have that - a boyfriend who thinks the world of you and you don't seem to lack the attentions of others.
In a way, I'm not entirely sure what you're asking. You don't seem to want for attention so I don't understand why you need to break up with your boyfriend in order to have male friends......you can have both. I don't see a problem there.
I'd agree with Jay1_z - be careful of pride!
Astral
I think its part of human nature to need/want to feel loved and accepted and from what you've said in your post I think you have that - a boyfriend who thinks the world of you and you don't seem to lack the attentions of others.
In a way, I'm not entirely sure what you're asking. You don't seem to want for attention so I don't understand why you need to break up with your boyfriend in order to have male friends......you can have both. I don't see a problem there.
jay1_z said:
I'd agree with Jay1_z - be careful of pride!
Astral
Upvote
0
Rafael
Only time enough for love
Everything we have is given to us by God, and we need to use if for Him. Pride and vainity always comes before a fall, so we don't want to be proud or vain if we can help it. Everybody has a burden in life, and yours may be your beauty, so humble yourself to God and to even the least of people on earth, His creations, because everyone we talk to or affect can be and should be treated as Jesus.
Mt 23:12 But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.
Pr 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall.
Jas 4:10 When you bow down before the Lord and admit your dependence on him, he will lift you up and give you honor.
1Pe 5:6 So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in his good time he will honor you.
Mt 25:40 And the King will tell them, I assure you, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!
Mt 23:12 But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.
Pr 16:18 Pride goes before destruction, and haughtiness before a fall.
Jas 4:10 When you bow down before the Lord and admit your dependence on him, he will lift you up and give you honor.
1Pe 5:6 So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in his good time he will honor you.
Mt 25:40 And the King will tell them, I assure you, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!
Upvote
0
Shannonkish
Proud member of the Loud Few
- Sep 12, 2003
- 4,436
- 209
- Faith
- Agnostic
- Marital Status
- Engaged
- Politics
- US-Others
NB,
I am sorry, but something really doesn't sit right with me about your post.
I guess I am just confused at why you wrote this. Are you looking for advice?
If that is the case, then in the spirit of christian love I will say this-- Get over how you look. I don't know what you look like and I personally don't care.. but there is SO much more to life than the way you look and "what I can do with this advantage."
God does NOT look at your outward beauty, He looks at the heart. Worry more about your heart!
I am sorry, but something really doesn't sit right with me about your post.
I guess I am just confused at why you wrote this. Are you looking for advice?
If that is the case, then in the spirit of christian love I will say this-- Get over how you look. I don't know what you look like and I personally don't care.. but there is SO much more to life than the way you look and "what I can do with this advantage."
God does NOT look at your outward beauty, He looks at the heart. Worry more about your heart!
Upvote
0
Well the reason I want advice is because it is affecting on my relationship with my b/f. Also he does not let me talk to guys...very protective and just cares so much. Then the fact that I have a b/f but I look at other guys and think wow he is cute or ooh I should go talk to him. If I knew that I did not look good I would never have so much confidence to go up to random guys. I just don't know if I want to stay with my b/f or live a funner single life where I can do things my way not having to worry about someone else and is it right the way that I am acting??
Upvote
0
Shannonkish
Proud member of the Loud Few
- Sep 12, 2003
- 4,436
- 209
- Faith
- Agnostic
- Marital Status
- Engaged
- Politics
- US-Others
Upvote
0
I will.Shannonkish said:
Before I offer any advice, I will go ahead and say that there is a huge difference between having self-confidence and being self-absorbed. I hope it is not the latter, but you sure make it sound otherwise.
My advice:
First off, if you are not able to control yourself when you have someone who loves you and whom you claim to love in return, are you sure that you are mature enough and ready for a real relationship? If after looking at the situation again, you decide that you are, pray about it because you obviously aren't doing a very good job of trying to handle it on your own. If you decide that you aren't, let him go find someone who will give him all of her heart and doesn't want to be single because it would be "funner". Anyway, you asked for advice. There it is.
Upvote
0
Shannonkish
Proud member of the Loud Few
- Sep 12, 2003
- 4,436
- 209
- Faith
- Agnostic
- Marital Status
- Engaged
- Politics
- US-Others
thanks... there is more that I would like to say as well.. but... you hit the nail on the head! Thanks!
NB, I would tend to agree with Guitargal.
NB, I would tend to agree with Guitargal.
Upvote
0
Naturalbeauty you are not married. Until he is your husband you do not have to answer to your bf. So go talk to other guys until you are sick of it, pick one of them and dump your bf if you find a better one. You have options now so use them. "For having once but lost your prime you may forever tarry."
Upvote
0
ischus
ΙΣΧΥΣ ΚΑΙ ΤΙΜΗ
My thoughts:
I think that G.K. Chesterton says it best in Orthodoxy.
"Thoroughly worldly people never understand even the world; they rely altogether on a few cynical maxims which are not true....Complete self-confidence is not merely a sin; complete self-confidence is a weakness. "
I think that G.K. Chesterton says it best in Orthodoxy.
"Thoroughly worldly people never understand even the world; they rely altogether on a few cynical maxims which are not true....Complete self-confidence is not merely a sin; complete self-confidence is a weakness. "
Upvote
0
Shannonkish
Proud member of the Loud Few
- Sep 12, 2003
- 4,436
- 209
- Faith
- Agnostic
- Marital Status
- Engaged
- Politics
- US-Others
hmm.. good thoughts ischus. My confidence is in the fact that I am pretty, or that I have a great voice, or anything... My confidence is in the fact that I have a God who is all powerful, all knowing, and all loving and that he came to earth and CHOSE to have a relationship with me as well as everyone who chooses to pursue him.
Desi, while I can understand your thought a little, I don't agree with it. While having a controlling boyfriend is not cool, neither is being a flirt and dumping someone that "love" because you want to have more fun. This sounds like a very WORLDLY thing to do. As Christians, we are to live in the world, but not to act like it not be of it.
Desi, while I can understand your thought a little, I don't agree with it. While having a controlling boyfriend is not cool, neither is being a flirt and dumping someone that "love" because you want to have more fun. This sounds like a very WORLDLY thing to do. As Christians, we are to live in the world, but not to act like it not be of it.
Upvote
0
For her to waste time with a bf she does not respect enough to not be exclusive with hints at him being the wrong guy. The cynic in me thinks she is being evaluated from women here on her self confidence in her beauty. If a woman with a poor self image suggested she had a controlling boyfriend I suspect the unanimous vote would be for her to move on as God will do better by her. I pray such a desparity is not the case here.Shannonkish said:
Shannon do you sing in Church?
Upvote
0
Shannonkish
Proud member of the Loud Few
- Sep 12, 2003
- 4,436
- 209
- Faith
- Agnostic
- Marital Status
- Engaged
- Politics
- US-Others
Oh, I agree. I am not saying that she should keep her bf... I think she is very immature, but that is a different subject. I do think that if he is being controlling, then yeah, she should break up with him. But, my mindset of controlling is not so leiant (however you spell that).
My bf doesn't care if I talk to other guys... HOWEVER, out of respect for him and out of a mindset and a heart that chooses to live a life above reproach, I don't spend too much time with other guys unless Josh is with me. I live with a mindset that I was taught years ago-- My husband WILL be my best friend... and out of respect for my husband (in the future) I can't be an open book and become best friends with every guy I meet. How will it look when 10 years down the road I am closer to another guy than I am with my husband?
Does that make sense? I think we agree, and are saying the same thing.
As for singing, yes, I sing at church... but I also lead worship with my brother's band all over the country.
My bf doesn't care if I talk to other guys... HOWEVER, out of respect for him and out of a mindset and a heart that chooses to live a life above reproach, I don't spend too much time with other guys unless Josh is with me. I live with a mindset that I was taught years ago-- My husband WILL be my best friend... and out of respect for my husband (in the future) I can't be an open book and become best friends with every guy I meet. How will it look when 10 years down the road I am closer to another guy than I am with my husband?
Does that make sense? I think we agree, and are saying the same thing.
As for singing, yes, I sing at church... but I also lead worship with my brother's band all over the country.
Upvote
0
JulesM
UK Female
1 Peter 3:3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.
Obviously you need to take the culture into context (i.e. braided hair) - but what is being said here, is that your husband should find you attractive because of your love for God and your gentle and quiet spirit. NOT because of what you look like. That is what should be atrractive about you.
Try to focus on God and his word more. It doesn't sound like you love your boyfriend, so ask God 'is he the one for me?' and if not end it. Concentrate on the inner you from now on.
Would your motives and actions please God? You seem to want to please man before God...
Obviously you need to take the culture into context (i.e. braided hair) - but what is being said here, is that your husband should find you attractive because of your love for God and your gentle and quiet spirit. NOT because of what you look like. That is what should be atrractive about you.
Try to focus on God and his word more. It doesn't sound like you love your boyfriend, so ask God 'is he the one for me?' and if not end it. Concentrate on the inner you from now on.
Would your motives and actions please God? You seem to want to please man before God...
Upvote
0
This is not the appropriate forum if you expect someone to advice you for exemple to leave your bf because he bothers you in your need of much attention, or that you should make most of your beauty in your youth and treat people as they deserve according to their own beauty, or what else...
First, God is the author of every creation and he recognized it himself to be good. It was certainly beautiful but he didn't admire it only for its beauty, but also for its necessity. And when he created humans in his image, his conception of beauty is quite different from what we think.
1 Samuel 16:7
"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
1 Peter 3
3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment... 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful."
Someone asked Jesus once who he should consider as his friend (expecting an answer like "those who are good like you") and Jesus answered him with the parable of the good samaritan.
Luke 10
29But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"
...
36"Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?"
37The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him." [the samaritan]
Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise."
With this parable, he meant that our friends are those who need us. God gave us his grace, and grace is receiving what we dont deserve. Consider Christ's example who humbled himself and reached the unlovely, he took our weaknesses and gave us his beauty and power. God expects you to do the same, he wants us to enable the others to enjoy what we have received freely from him.
1 Corinthians 12
22On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other."
Be careful that the best thing you think you have won't be your own stumblingblock...
First, God is the author of every creation and he recognized it himself to be good. It was certainly beautiful but he didn't admire it only for its beauty, but also for its necessity. And when he created humans in his image, his conception of beauty is quite different from what we think.
1 Samuel 16:7
"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
1 Peter 3
3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment... 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful."
Someone asked Jesus once who he should consider as his friend (expecting an answer like "those who are good like you") and Jesus answered him with the parable of the good samaritan.
Luke 10
29But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"
...
36"Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?"
37The expert in the law replied, "The one who had mercy on him." [the samaritan]
Jesus told him, "Go and do likewise."
With this parable, he meant that our friends are those who need us. God gave us his grace, and grace is receiving what we dont deserve. Consider Christ's example who humbled himself and reached the unlovely, he took our weaknesses and gave us his beauty and power. God expects you to do the same, he wants us to enable the others to enjoy what we have received freely from him.
1 Corinthians 12
22On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other."
Be careful that the best thing you think you have won't be your own stumblingblock...
Upvote
0
Wow. Does the bible not teach so very clearly against vanity and does it not teach to have NO CONFIDENCE IN THE FLESH? I have read so many replies here that are focusing on the totally wrong issues!! Anything you have was God's to begin with and He can take it away as He sees neccessary...so none of us can boast about ANY of our "advantages"! I am sorry natural beauty, I realise and have compassion about the fact that you are young, and am totally aware of what today's culture teaches this generation, but the replies from some of the more mature Christians here really dissapoint me! To overlook the vanity issue and simply address the boyfriend issue is so foolish! No matter what boy she is with or what situation arises, NB your problem will follow you and that problem is inward. If you place so much emphasis on your outward appearance it only reflects an inward struggle. Sorry I wish I had my bible in front of me to use scripture to illustrate but I don't. And I am sorry but I don't mince words. I love you all and am so sad that we are so easily misguided by idols (looks etc.) me included.
Upvote
0
Shannonkish
Proud member of the Loud Few
- Sep 12, 2003
- 4,436
- 209
- Faith
- Agnostic
- Marital Status
- Engaged
- Politics
- US-Others
Upvote
0
I praise God for your beauty...
because I love beautiful things...
However...
just this morning I was witnessing a beautiful young song bird as she was primping in the birdbath...
She was so intent on her primping that she did not hear our ugly old cat sneaking up behind her and before I could get out the door....
well you know the rest of the story.
Be very cautious of the gifts/talents that you own. Using them properly makes the world a better place. Using them unwisely may lead to your own destruction.
Solomon warns of vanity. Read the whole of Ecclesiastes.
because I love beautiful things...
However...
just this morning I was witnessing a beautiful young song bird as she was primping in the birdbath...
She was so intent on her primping that she did not hear our ugly old cat sneaking up behind her and before I could get out the door....
well you know the rest of the story.
Be very cautious of the gifts/talents that you own. Using them properly makes the world a better place. Using them unwisely may lead to your own destruction.
Solomon warns of vanity. Read the whole of Ecclesiastes.
Upvote
0
Similar threads
