Can you marry a divorced woman?

[eleos1954]

I'm sure this question isn't a new one, but can I marry a divorced woman who's ex-husband is still alive? To be honest I don't think it's such a big deal, but the Bible seems to say otherwise.

“It was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
— Matthew 5:31-32

And if you have married a divorced woman, are you to file for divorce? Sounds crazy to me.

The root sin of adultery is lust.

In Matthew 5:28, Jesus tells us “everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

Only God knows what is in someones heart (mind).... and the heart (mind) can be changed with help from the Lord.

A spouse who has violated the marriage vow and who is divorced does not have the moral right to marry another while the spouse who has been faithful to the marriage vow still lives and remains unmarried and chaste. Separation is allowed.

as long as one or the other remains unmarried and chaste, then remarrying is not an option.

We mess up a lot ..... and the Holy Spirit will bring one to repentance, if one sincerely asks for forgiveness they will receive it and can begin anew .... He said .... Go and sin no more.

Sin is not just physical acts .... our thoughts can be sinful as well .... it is the battle for the mind ..... this is why our thoughts need to be changed

Romans 12:2​

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

 

[Diamond7]

The root sin of adultery is lust.

People are going to have problems in the flesh, in this life, but they can still saved.

Matthew 21:32 Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you.

 

[eleos1954]

People are going to have problems in the flesh, in this life, but they can still saved.

Matthew 21:32 Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you.

Yes ..... because of the blood of the Lamb our sins will be blotted out.

 

[eleos1954]

People are going to have problems in the flesh, in this life, but they can still saved.

Matthew 21:32 Jesus said to them, “Truly I tell you, the tax collectors and the prostitutes are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you.

repentance

 

[Diamond7]

repentance

The tax collectors and prostitutes were entering in because they repented?

 

[zoidar]

The tax collectors and prostitutes were entering in because they repented?

Yes!

 

[Diamond7]

Yes!

Eventually, we get old and cannot do what we use to do. Is that the same as repentance?

 

[zoidar]

Eventually, we get old and cannot do what we use to do. Is that the same as repentance?

No, I wouldn't say that.

 

[ByTheSpirit]

I'm sure this question isn't a new one, but can I marry a divorced woman who's ex-husband is still alive? To be honest I don't think it's such a big deal, but the Bible seems to say otherwise.

“It was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
— Matthew 5:31-32

And if you have married a divorced woman, are you to file for divorce? Sounds crazy to me.

absolutely not. You see when the church began to soften its stance on divorce is when other more serious issues started to creep into the fold.

Some have mentioned how what Jesus says in Matthew doesnt really apply to us as that was to Israel. That is awful, AWFUL advice. At that rate you should remove all your Bible except the Pauline epistles and perhaps the gospel of Luke and John. Not to mention "all scripture is profitable" ALL SCRIPTURE, and Paul wrote that.

Anyways, no you should not remarry a divorced woman, nor should she remarry except to her original spouse. Yes I do believe (because the scriptures state as much) that there are exceptions:
1) adultery
2) unbelieving spouse who hinders your walk with God
3) I believe God would be ok with divorce in the sense of abuse.

But divorcing someone because you just dont get along with them is not biblical. Get counseling. Marriage is a union, and highly symbolic of our union to Christ. That is why God takes it so seriously.

 

[Diamond7]

That is awful, AWFUL advice.

Whoever therefore breaks one of these least commandments and teaches others to break them, will be called the least in the Kingdom of the Heavens Matthew 5:19 What we tell others is very important. It is important to read what Jesus said in the red letters. Esp we should read and study the sermon on the mount if we do nothing else.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

I'm sure this question isn't a new one, but can I marry a divorced woman who's ex-husband is still alive? To be honest I don't think it's such a big deal, but the Bible seems to say otherwise.

“It was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
— Matthew 5:31-32

And if you have married a divorced woman, are you to file for divorce? Sounds crazy to me.

Frankly, I think it’s between you, the person you want to marry, and God. You will never get a consensus and ultimately the ramifications of the decision are felt by those in the marriage and not any of us on a message forum.

I’ve always found that passage to be an odd one to begin with and indicative of the problem of men with all the failings of being human trying to tell us the word of God. Don’t get divorced, but get a certificate of divorce. The only acceptable reasons to divorce are adultery, but remarriage is adultery. So by that logic, getting remarried gives you the means/reason to be divorced, according to the Bible, but if you have the certificate of divorce it’s ok.

I’m divorced and remarried. My husband divorced and remarried (to me). We have a child together, we have soul custody of his children from his first marriage. His ex wife is apparently remarried with one child, my ex husband is remarried with three children. It’s hard to say that the 5 children and 3 new families created by our divorces are against God. Though to undo the thread further, I wouldn’t be here if my parents hadn’t divorced their first spouses, same with my husbands ex wife. So… Does that make our existences born of sin? And so on and so on.

Honestly, you can pull that thread until you have no sweater left. So go to God, ask God, don’t ask us. If you feel convicted to not, then don’t. If you feel convicted that it’s fine, like so many of us divorced people have, then there you go. The best you can do is the best you can do. I don’t regret my divorce and my husband doesn’t regret his and I’m sure somebody will drop the oldie but goodie “divorce is the easy way out,” to which I just kind of roll my eyes. Clearly that’s an opinion born of the privilege of not experiencing all that goes into a divorce, so they’re quite lucky to be not have experienced the life lessons that prove that it is not, in fact, easier.

 

[zoidar]

Frankly, I think it’s between you, the person you want to marry, and God. You will never get a consensus and ultimately the ramifications of the decision are felt by those in the marriage and not any of us on a message forum.

I’ve always found that passage to be an odd one to begin with and indicative of the problem of men with all the failings of being human trying to tell us the word of God. Don’t get divorced, but get a certificate of divorce. The only acceptable reasons to divorce are adultery, but remarriage is adultery. So by that logic, getting remarried gives you the means/reason to be divorced, according to the Bible, but if you have the certificate of divorce it’s ok.

I’m divorced and remarried. My husband divorced and remarried (to me). We have a child together, we have soul custody of his children from his first marriage. His ex wife is apparently remarried with one child, my ex husband is remarried with three children. It’s hard to say that the 5 children and 3 new families created by our divorces are against God. Though to undo the thread further, I wouldn’t be here if my parents hadn’t divorced their first spouses, same with my husbands ex wife. So… Does that make our existences born of sin? And so on and so on.

Honestly, you can pull that thread until you have no sweater left. So go to God, ask God, don’t ask us. If you feel convicted to not, then don’t. If you feel convicted that it’s fine, like so many of us divorced people have, then there you go. The best you can do is the best you can do. I don’t regret my divorce and my husband doesn’t regret his and I’m sure somebody will drop the oldie but goodie “divorce is the easy way out,” to which I just kind of roll my eyes. Clearly that’s an opinion born of the privilege of not experiencing all that goes into a divorce, so they’re quite lucky to be not have experienced the life lessons that prove that it is not, in fact, easier.

Every child, no matter the "family situation" is loved by God. Not saying I think divorce is something good, but like you say, life is not always that simple, actually it rarely is. God also knows this. Not like we have an excuse to sin, but I think you know what I mean. Every situation is unique, and I think it should be treated that way.

 

[PsaltiChrysostom]

If a spouse is adulterous, violent, deserting the marriage, a gambler, or alcoholic, and will not submit to correction by the elders of the church, then he is to be treated as an unbeliever and put out of the fellowship until he or she repents. I believe in that case, the innocent spouse is free from any obligation to the marriage and has the freedom of choice whether to stay with that person or to be divorced without any penalty from God or the church. And if reconciliation turns out to be totally impossible, be free to remarry without penalty.

Thanks for the posting! My youngest son's Russian Orthodox godmother first marriage was a disaster. Her husband didn't want children and refused to well... you get the idea. After 5-6 years, she got a divorce, moved back to Moscow, got married and now has three beautiful children and a loving husband.

Certain churches do make allowances for remarriage. So Orthodox can marry a maximum of three times no matter what. The first is celebrated, the second is guarded and the third is tolerated and a fourth is forbidden, even due to the death of a spouse. The second and third marriages are done with a different ceremony and calls for repentance.

 

[Diamond7]

Frankly, I think it’s between you, the person you want to marry, and God.

I wish, but the children pay the price.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

I wish, but the children pay the price.

There are plenty of times where divorce is in the best interests of the kids.

 

[I's2C]

I'm sure this question isn't a new one, but can I marry a divorced woman who's ex-husband is still alive? To be honest I don't think it's such a big deal, but the Bible seems to say otherwise.

“It was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
— Matthew 5:31-32

And if you have married a divorced woman, are you to file for divorce? Sounds crazy to me.

I'm sure this question isn't a new one, but can I marry a divorced woman who's ex-husband is still alive? To be honest I don't think it's such a big deal, but the Bible seems to say otherwise.

“It was said, ‘Whoever sends his wife away, let him give her a certificate of divorce’; but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of unchastity, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
— Matthew 5:31-32

And if you have married a divorced woman, are you to file for divorce? Sounds crazy to me.

I read all the post on here and it is lil bit sad to see so much division on this subject. GOD HIMSELF was a divorcee and it is not an unforgivable sin. If the divorcee truly repents of their divorce then the person is free to marry. CHRIST shed blood on the cross so whoever believes has eternal life. When repent of their sin it is completely blotted out to never be heard of again. For anyone to say their sin is not blotted out and erased is to not believe that GOD has the power to wipe it out. Same as saying CHRIST blood is null and void, GOD forbid HE went through all HE did for nothing. Repent and marry if you 2 are in love. Repenting assures you are a new person as if you were newly born free of sin.

 

[ByTheSpirit]

Whoever therefore breaks one of these least commandments and teaches others to break them, will be called the least in the Kingdom of the Heavens Matthew 5:19 What we tell others is very important. It is important to read what Jesus said in the red letters. Esp we should read and study the sermon on the mount if we do nothing else.

I agree, that is one reason why I said the advice given was awful.

 

[trophy33]

There are plenty of times where divorce is in the best interests of the kids.

I would say there are very few times when divorce is the best for the kids.

In almost all cases its best for the kids that their parents are able to behave like adults, without drama, court hearings etc. Its one of the parents who wants a divorce (mostly women), most of the time, not kids.

 

[Tropical Wilds]

I would say there are very few times when divorce is the best for the kids.

In almost all cases its best for the kids that their parents are able to behave like adults, without drama, court hearings etc. Its one of the parents who wants a divorce (mostly women), most of the time, not kids.

When asked, kids will say all sorts of things out of what they feel is their best interest but what may not necessarily be in their best interest.

However adult decisions made by children isn’t responsible. We don’t let kids make other major life decisions, like what jobs to take, what houses to buy, what bills to pay when money is short, care plans should somebody get sick… We take them into account, sure, but we don’t base our final decisions on them. My kids fought us tooth and nail over moving from a 3 bedroom, 900 square foot apartment to a 2,000 square foot home because the house didn’t have a playground and a pool and they were desperate to keep them. But it wasn’t the smart or responsible thing to keep squeezing 5 people into a 2 bedroom apartment for $1,000 a month when $1,200 got us a house we owned in a nice part of town.

Ultimately, it’s not up to our kids to vote on this stuff. Have opinions on it, sure, but they aren’t responsible for our marriages and if the only thing keeping you there is a kid saying “don’t get divorced,” it’s time to do some hard self reflecting. A lot of time what’s making the adult miserable is making the kid miserable too, not acknowledging it by repeatedly exposing them to those miseries is destructive, then saying you stay because of them means you’re not taking accountability and merely shifting it to a child. In situations like that, it’s like saying “I stayed miserable and kept you miserable because of you. You are why life is like this.”

 

[eleos1954]

The tax collectors and prostitutes were entering in because they repented?

repentance is the only way for anyone to enter .... all are to turn away from sin. Only God knows who actually does that (He knows the secret things)