Can You Go to Heaven if You Divorce and Remarry?

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I agree with that. If we had to be perfect to get to heaven, then no-one would be there, except for Jesus of course.

In that case I suppose the 1 Corinthians 7 v 15 verse would apply as you say. In any case I think the best way to get peace is to ask God if you have sinned and if so repent. Or if you have not sinned, regarding the ending of your first marriage, then to ask the Lord for peace about being remarried. If your Church leaders agreed to it I would think that your remarriage is from the Lord, so I hope you don't beat yourself up about it or let Satan destroy your peace.

When I met my second wife, she was recently widowed after seeing her husband waste away and die of bone cancer. The pastor of our church said that I was a Godsend to her, because I appeared just at the right time for her.

 

[covid-19v1]

Since the wedding vows are to be till death do us part, said before God, then does that stand to reason that a person who gets a divorce is not really divorced before the eyes of God, and therefore one is committing adultery by marrying another, as long as their spouse is living?

Which one is the OP really concerned about: the broken vow before God, or adultery? Regardless, both are sins, and neither is able to overpower the blood of Jesus Christ.

I'm not writing this to encourage you to a divorce. But I'm writing this to let you know you have peace with God thru Christ (if Christ indeed is in you), and may the peace of God be with you.

 

[Francis Drake]

I'm pleased for you. In view of your first's wife unfaithfulness I would think that your second marriage is perfectly Biblical. I have several friends in similar situations and if I had found the right man I would be too.

The Lord very specifically brought me and my new wife together. God said it is not good that his children are alone, so maybe ask the Lord to direct your path.
My new wife sought the Lord and I arrived at her church.

This jumped out at me, although in relation to praying for people's salvation rather than about divorce or remarriage. I know we should pray, but it has helped me to see that the decision is theirs. However I won't derail the thread by commenting further, but thanks for that insight although I'm applying it to another matter.

Agreed, don't derail this thread, but you could start a new thread.

 

[rebornfree]

The Lord very specifically brought me and my new wife together. God said it is not good that his children are alone, so maybe ask the Lord to direct your path.
My new wife sought the Lord and I arrived at her church.

Agreed, don't derail this thread, but you could start a new thread.

Both good ideas thank you. I've asked the Lord to direct my path and I'll have a think and pray about the new thread!

 

[coffee4u]

Can a person divorce and remarry and still go to Heaven?

The reason I ask is because the Bible says that one commits adultery if he divorces his wife and marries another. Since the wedding vows are to be till death do us part, said before God, then does that stand to reason that a person who gets a divorce is not really divorced before the eyes of God, and therefore one is committing adultery by marrying another, as long as their spouse is living?

I'd like to hear your thoughts on this subject.

Jesus died for all sins not some.
1 John 2:2
He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world.

Divorcing for anything but unfaithfulness-and I believe that can take various forms-is a sin.
So is using hateful words against someone, stealing, lying, converting and many other things.

All sin separates us from God, which is why we can't earn heaven by any of the good things that we do, because we still sin. Only Jesus was sinless.

 

[oneironaut27]

My ex-wife and I are both Christians. During our marriage, my mental health issues let me to ultimately became a heavy drinker. I put her through a lot. She left me after a relapse last October. I am now 11 months sober. I have apologized, repented, asked for reconciliation, asked for couples' counseling, tried to pursue her with humility, asking for grace, forgiveness, and a fresh start. She says reconciliation is not an option.

I don't want to downplay my alcoholism. I was wrong, and I made life very difficult for her. However, I have tried to make Godly amends to her. Since I've been sober she hasn't given me a chance.

What makes this even more difficult is that before we were married, before she was a Christian, she was a sex worker. She denies that her past life had any effect on our marriage, but I believe it did.

I guess I say all that to say it's a complicated mess, like every marriage that encounters problems.

I'm worried now that I have to go through life alone, and I don't feel like I can take being alone much longer. I feel completely stuck, alone, and abandoned. But I'm worried that if I get remarried I'll go to hell. I haven't slept with anyone else since the divorce, and I don't even know anyone I would marry even if I could, but I do struggle with the "burning with passion" from 1 Cor 7:9. But it's far more than any physical needs. I just can't be alone anymore.

 

[The Liturgist]

Can a person divorce and remarry and still go to Heaven?

The reason I ask is because the Bible says that one commits adultery if he divorces his wife and marries another. Since the wedding vows are to be till death do us part, said before God, then does that stand to reason that a person who gets a divorce is not really divorced before the eyes of God, and therefore one is committing adultery by marrying another, as long as their spouse is living?

I'd like to hear your thoughts on this subject.

I have to say yes, because God is willing to forgive sin.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

My ex-wife and I are both Christians. During our marriage, my mental health issues let me to ultimately became a heavy drinker. I put her through a lot. She left me after a relapse last October. I am now 11 months sober. I have apologized, repented, asked for reconciliation, asked for couples' counseling, tried to pursue her with humility, asking for grace, forgiveness, and a fresh start. She says reconciliation is not an option.

I don't want to downplay my alcoholism. I was wrong, and I made life very difficult for her. However, I have tried to make Godly amends to her. Since I've been sober she hasn't given me a chance.

What makes this even more difficult is that before we were married, before she was a Christian, she was a sex worker. She denies that her past life had any effect on our marriage, but I believe it did.

I guess I say all that to say it's a complicated mess, like every marriage that encounters problems.

I'm worried now that I have to go through life alone, and I don't feel like I can take being alone much longer. I feel completely stuck, alone, and abandoned. But I'm worried that if I get remarried I'll go to hell. I haven't slept with anyone else since the divorce, and I don't even know anyone I would marry even if I could, but I do struggle with the "burning with passion" from 1 Cor 7:9. But it's far more than any physical needs. I just can't be alone anymore.

All manner of sin and iniquity shall be forgiven. That's what the Bible says. Also, Jesus died to take the guilt and punishment of sin upon Himself, therefore your sins, past, present and future were nailed to the Cross with Him. But sin is still present with us, in our flesh, and the person who says they have no sin deceives himself and the truth is not in him.

The problem with churches is that they are understanding and helpful when a couple is contemplating divorce, but judgmental and condemning when a couple is divorced. In actually fact it should be the other way around. A couple contemplating divorce should be clearly told that they will be breaking their vows before God and that is a serious sin. A divorced couple should be presented with the grace of God and the fact that Jesus died on the Cross for them and that having got right with God and restored to faith in Christ, they are able to forget what is in the past and concentrate on the future, and if in the event that reconciliation with the ex spouse is impossible, then entering into a remarriage with another partner is better than burning with passion with the obvious consequences.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

The New Covenant does not provide for divorce like the Old Covenant did. All marriage is for life.

So if a violent spouse puts the innocent one in danger of their life, or the spouse commits adultery, does this mean that the innocent spouse is condemned because the other one broke their vows? Does your god punish the innocent with the guilty? Sounds like another gospel to me.

 

[RDKirk]

So if a violent spouse puts the innocent one in danger of their life, or the spouse commits adultery, does this mean that the innocent spouse is condemned because the other one broke their vows? Does your god punish the innocent with the guilty? Sounds like another gospel to me.

No.

If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. -- Matthew 18

Divorce is a sin...it is entirely shrouded in a cloud of sin. In Christ's absolute righteousness, the breaking of the covenant is a sin.

But the Lord knows who caused that sin, and the one who caused it bears the blame, while the innocent party receives mercy.

 

[Petros2015]

Can a person divorce and remarry and still go to Heaven?

Can a person divorce and remarry and still call Heaven Heaven when he sees his ex is there too? Hmmm. Food for thought.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Can one die in unrepentant serious sin and still go to heaven? I'd guess the answer to that is a 'no'.

Can you marry once, validly, then divorce, and then marry again? Jesus didn't sound like it.

Are there some marriages that are just invalid? A few, like those where you are too closely related, or where one party lies in their vows, or some other uncommon but real circumstances. Those are fodder for annulment. But most marriages fail because of the hard heartedness of people validly married. Those are the ones where you bound yourself for life.

Some people will say that it doesn't matter and you just start again. Jesus wasn't so inclined. I'd say if you were validly married and cant live together any more, you should remain single, as a witness to the vow you took. Even if the other person has renounced their vow.

It's a hard view. But it seems to have been a hard view Jesus was insisting on. His disciples thought, after hearing it, that it might be better to remain single.

Courage.

When Jesus spoke about marriage, He was answering hypocritical Pharisees who were trying to trap Him. He was using divorce as an example of the Mosaic Law being insufficient to make a person righteous before God. It does not form a reliable doctrine concerning divorce and remarriage.

Paul's teaching about divorce and remarriage concerned some Corinthian men divorcing their wives in the belief that the single life brought them closer to God. He made no mention of domestic violence or desertion as reasons why couples got divorced. We don't know what Paul's attitude toward couples getting divorced through those reasons. He hasn't told us, because he was dealing with a specific reason why these Corinthian men were divorcing their wives and it didn't include any comment about couples getting divorced through domestic violence and desertion.

He did allow an unbeliever leaving a believing spouse, and said that the believing spouse was not under any further bondage to the marriage. This meant that a believing spouse could remarry without any negative consequences. I am of the opinion that when a spouse commits domestic violence or deserts the marriage, and is unrepentant, they become essentially an unbeliever. The process is in Matthew and if it comes to the church and the guilty spouse refuses to repent, then they should be treated as a heathen and be put out of fellowship. This makes them an unbeliever, and the innocent spouse is under no further bondage to the marriage and is entirely free to remarry.

 

[RDKirk]

Can a person divorce and remarry and still call Heaven Heaven when he sees his ex is there too? Hmmm. Food for thought.

Only if forgiveness has occurred...or else, the unforgiving party will not be there.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Can a person divorce and remarry and still call Heaven Heaven when he sees his ex is there too? Hmmm. Food for thought.

Because there is no marriage in heaven, and when believers are resurrected into glory having left their sinfulness behind with their previous flesh, and if the guilty spouse had repented, then there would be no awkwardness, but rejoicing that both of them made it to heaven.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Only if forgiveness has occurred...or else, the unforgiving party will not be there.

If both are born again believers, then the cause of why the marriage failed is because of sin in their flesh, and not because of any corruption of their hearts. Paul shows this in Romans 7. Therefore, there is forgiveness for both spouses, because the divorce and it causes is not the unforgiveable sin.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Yes, it is not something that we should do. The NT is pretty clear on this. It's very, very common to divorce and remarry, but if you look at the plan meaning of Scripture, this is not something that we shoulddo. The only possible exception would be in a "Joseph and Mary" situation, where he (the husband) considered putting her (the wife) away during engagement for perceived adultery.

Matthew 5:32

Matthew 19:9

Mark 10:11-12

Romans 7:1-3

There are a lot of things we shouldn't do. Jesus was clear about the requirement of our righteousness being more than that of the Pharisees, who kept the Law more perfectly than we would ever be able to do. Sin is the transgression of the Law, and divorce and its causes are transgression of the Law in the same way as looking at someone with lust, or hating someone, being impatient, unkind, harsh instead of gentle, being unfaithful, or having a lack of self control. These all are outcomes of the sin that is present with us and will always be there until we are resurrected into glory to be with the Lord. We tend to view degrees of sin ranging from minor to almost unforgiveable. God doesn't. He sees stealing a dollar note from mom's purse as the same as the crimes of the Texas Chainsaw murderer. A person can end up in hell for not repenting of stealing the dollar note, as the one who cut innocent people up with a chainsaw.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

1 Corinthians 7:39
The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.

Romans 7:2-3
2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband.
3 So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.

I was in an adulterous marriage and i fought night and day trying to find a way to stay in it but these verses say otherwise.

If the adulterous spouse repented, then part of that repentance would be to stay in the marriage and work to strengthen it. It is then up to the innocent spouse to forgive the guilty one, as Christ has forgiven. But if the innocent spouse refuses to forgive the repentant spouse, then they cut themselves off from Christ, because He said that if a person won't forgive, then the Father won't forgive them,

 

[oneironaut27]

I am of the opinion that when a spouse commits domestic violence or deserts the marriage, and is unrepentant, they become essentially an unbeliever.

I appreciate your comments.

In the incident I mentioned earlier, when I relapsed 11 months ago, my wife and I had an argument over my drinking. She left the house. When she came back, I tried to keep her from coming in the front door by pushing and hitting her. I don't even remember it. It is the lowest point of my life, doesn't match my values or character, and I have repented, asked for forgiveness, and turned from it. It is the only time I have ever raised so much as a finger to her. I understand why she rejects me, but I keep praying she'll forgive me. She keeps saying that she will not ever reconcile.

And then I keep going back to being alone. I am so broken and remorseful. I'm beside myself. I keep thinking to the future. As it is right now, I'm barely existing. I am incredibly depressed. I don't eat. I can barely get up off the bed or couch. I am so alone. I want to obey God. I don't want to go to hell. But I don't know how to navigate this life alone.

 

[oneironaut27]

I also don't think she's being fair. One of the reasons she cites that she's divorcing me is because I tried to commit suicide by hanging myself four years ago. She says by doing that, I was abusing her. I have serious mental health problems. Suicide runs in my family. My doctor was altering my medications when I tried to hang myself. I don't feel like that's all my fault.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

I appreciate your comments.

In the incident I mentioned earlier, when I relapsed 11 months ago, my wife and I had an argument over my drinking. She left the house. When she came back, I tried to keep her from coming in the front door by pushing and hitting her. I don't even remember it. It is the lowest point of my life, doesn't match my values or character, and I have repented, asked for forgiveness, and turned from it. It is the only time I have ever raised so much as a finger to her. I understand why she rejects me, but I keep praying she'll forgive me. She keeps saying that she will not ever reconcile.

And then I keep going back to being alone. I am so broken and remorseful. I'm beside myself. I keep thinking to the future. As it is right now, I'm barely existing. I am incredibly depressed. I don't eat. I can barely get up off the bed or couch. I am so alone. I want to obey God. I don't want to go to hell. But I don't know how to navigate this life alone.

Because you have repented and are showing the fruit of repentance by getting off the booze and vowing within yourself that you will never use physical violence against another human being ever, then the onus is on your spouse to forgive you, as Christ has forgiven her. The fruit of forgiveness is the restoration of the marriage. Jesus told the parable about the man who owe such a large debt that he could never repay, and through the creditor's grace the debt was forgiven. Then the man went to someone who owed him a much smaller debt and when the man couldn't repay, he got him thrown into prison until he repaid the debt. The creditor who forgave the first debt found out about it and reinstated the large debt and put the man to the tormentors until the debt was paid in full. Jesus, in dying for us on the Cross paid our impossible debt, and if we don't forgive others, God will reinstate the debt of sin that we owe Him and if we die before repenting, we will be shut out of heaven.

But don't go making demands on your ex-spouse because of this. All you can do is to pray that the Holy Spirit will convict her of her unforgiveness and the consequences of it. If the process of correction in Matthew has been followed she refuses to repent once it has been brought to the church, then she is to be treated as a heathen unbeliever, and you are set free from any further obligation to the marriage.

 

[RDKirk]

If both are born again believers, then the cause of why the marriage failed is because of sin in their flesh, and not because of any corruption of their hearts. Paul shows this in Romans 7. Therefore, there is forgiveness for both spouses, because the divorce and it causes is not the unforgiveable sin.

Refusing to forgive the spouse might be an unforgivable sin.

Which is what you said in your post #57.