Can we date divorcees?

[Dave L]

Shear unbiblical arrogance.
My first wife, a Christian, had an affair. I forgave her, but she subsequently left me anyway after 28 years of marriage.
For my part, I considered myself to be in a covenant marriage for life, but that principle was left in tatters after she walked out on it.

According to your false theology, I am condemned for something I had no control over.

Thank God for his mercy when He led me to a wonderful faithful lady to whom I am now married.
She was still single after 48 years, waiting for the man that God would send. I was the answer to her prayers, and I know she was to mine.

But, divorce does not exist in God's eyes. Marriage is for life. And divorce = unforgiveness. And divorce and remarriage = adultery.

 

[Anguspure]

"not bound" = no need to submit.


“But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.” 1 Corinthians 7:10–11 (NASB95)

Similar language is used by Paul in his letter to the Romans where he describes the relationship between a woman and her deceased husband:
Do you not know, brothers and sisters—for I am speaking to those who know the law—that the law has authority over someone only as long as that person lives? For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law that binds her to him. So then, if she has sexual relations with another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress if she marries another man.

In the same way the believer whose unbelieving wife abandons him is not bound.

 

[Dave L]

The only way to get child support is in a divorce court.

But it involves unforgiveness.

 

[Anguspure]

That was a metaphor based on OT divorce. Divorce is not an option in the NT.

Actually there is an exception or two and here is another....

“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Therefore according to this passage a person who divorces his wife under the circumstance of sexual immorality, and marries another woman, is not bound and does not commit adultery.

 

[Dave L]

Actually there is an exception or two and here is another....

“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Therefore according to this passage a person who divorces his wife under the circumstance of sexual immorality, and marries another woman, is not bound and does not commit adultery.

This was for the Old Covenant. The New Covenant replaced it. We have no divorce provisions in the New Covenant.

 

[Anguspure]

This was for the Old Covenant. The New Covenant replaced it. We have no divorce provisions in the New Covenant.

That is because if we are speaking about divorce we are speaking about law and by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive except under very limited circumstances.

The exceptions to the law mean a person has not sinned against the law if they are forced to act in a certain way, and that is what I am arguing.

But we are not under the law in the New Covenant because we who are in Christ have died with Christ.
Do you not know, brothers and sisters—for I am speaking to those who know the law—that the law has authority over someone only as long as that person lives?

If a believer who's spouse leaves them wishes to re-marry, perhaps because they cannot control themselves in order to prevent Satan from tempting them because of their lack of self control, what law prevents them?

 

[Dave L]

That is because if we are speaking about divorce we are speaking about law and by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive except under very limited circumstances.

The exceptions to the law mean a person has not sinned against the law if they are forced to act in a certain way, and that is what I am arguing.

But we are not under the law in the New Covenant because we who are in Christ have died with Christ.
Do you not know, brothers and sisters—for I am speaking to those who know the law—that the law has authority over someone only as long as that person lives?

If a believer who's spouse leaves them wishes to re-marry, perhaps because they cannot control themselves in order to prevent Satan from tempting them because of their lack of self control, what law prevents them?

But no provision for divorce exists in the NT.

 

[Anguspure]

But no provision for divorce exists in the NT.

There is no provision for a wedding ceremony either.

 

[Anguspure]

But no provision for divorce exists in the NT.

Clearly if my unbelieving wife has left me then she is gone and as good as dead to me. There does not need to be a provision for reality. She is gone and does not wish to be reconciled to life.
If she was a believer then she is alive and under the guidance of the Spirit, as I am and so there is a chance of reconciliation.
But in the former case should I be bound to what is dead?

 

[Dave L]

Clearly if my unbelieving wife has left me then she is gone and as good as dead to me. There does not need to be a provision for reality. She is gone and does not wish to be reconciled to life.
If she was a believer then she is alive and under the guidance of the Spirit, as I am and so there is a chance of reconciliation.
But in the former case should I be bound to what is dead?

Paul says to remain single. It's not too much when you consider what Christ did for his own.

 

[Dave L]

There is no provision for a wedding ceremony either.

Yes, all pagan weddings are binding for life.

 

[Anguspure]

Yes, all pagan weddings are binding for life.

Pagan traditions are not part of the new covenant.

 

[Dave L]

Pagan traditions are not part of the new covenant.

Paul considered his pagan converts married.

 

[Anguspure]

Paul says to remain single. It's not too much when you consider what Christ did for his own.

Paul says that it is better to remain single and that this is the gift he is given. But this does not constitute a law by any means and it is not a gift that we are all given. I am amazed at people who are able to receive love without physical intimacy, companionship or touch but I also know that the failure of this in my life is destructive and no service to the God of Love.

 

[Anguspure]

Paul considered his pagan converts married.

Pagans are also married in common law with no ceremony beyond their own mutual commitment.

 

[Dave L]

Paul says that it is better to remain single but that this is the gift he is given. But this does not constitute a law by any means and it is not a gift that we are all given. I am amazed at people who are able to receive love without physical intimacy, companionship or touch but I also know that the failure of this in my life is destructive and no service to the God of Love.

If you are saved, you will not be able to live a sinful lifestyle. John says;


“No one who is born of God practices sin, because His seed abides in him; and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.” 1 John 3:9 (NASB95)

 

[Dave L]

Pagans are also married in common law with no ceremony beyond their own mutual commitment.

That is fornication.

 

[Anguspure]

If you are saved, you will not be able to live a sinful lifestyle. John says;


“No one who is born of God practices sin, because His seed abides in him; and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.” 1 John 3:9 (NASB95)

Read in the context of what Paul wrote to the Romans this does not preclude that my flesh may sin:

So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering. And so he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.

You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you.

 

[Anguspure]

That is fornication.

So you say but a wedding ceremony is not prescribed for marriage in the NT, nor in the OT for that matter. So in the Scripture (and not according to religious traditions), what constitutes marriage?

 

[Anguspure]

If you are saved, you will not be able to live a sinful lifestyle. John says;


“No one who is born of God practices sin, because His seed abides in him; and he cannot sin, because he is born of God.” 1 John 3:9 (NASB95)

Furthermore your interpretation of this passage would seem to be refuted in the previous chapter of the same letter: My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father--Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.