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Featured Can we date divorcees?

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by Lybrah, Aug 21, 2019.

  1. Lybrah

    Lybrah Active Member

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    I am middle-aged and I know what the bible says about divorce. However, at my age, most of the dating pool is full of divorced men. Aren't I limiting myself by not wanting to date divorcees?
     
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  2. ToBeLoved

    ToBeLoved Well-Known Member Supporter

    +5,670
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    This is a very hard one.

    I’m going’s to keep this very general.

    If you do, I’d expect to repent for it. Because you know what the Bible says about it in advance.
     
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  3. ChicanaRose

    ChicanaRose Well-Known Member

    +1,317
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    I think it depends on the circumstances and who they are today, rather than who they were in the past.

    I am wondering if it is possible to get to know a guy as a friend first. And once you know enough about him to consider dating, you consult your pastor before proceeding. This way, you don't need to break someone's heart (?)

    Do you think that's possible...or do you think if you form a close friendship, he will take it as more than a friendship and expect more?
     
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  4. NothingIsImpossible

    NothingIsImpossible Well-Known Member

    +3,113
    Christian
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    Depends on your view of the bible. If one is divorced and dates someone then they are in sin.

    That person may be in sin, but since you weren't married before then I am not sure how that would work. Though I'd imagine it would be like anything else where making them sin by dating them means you are also in sin.

    I do realize of course being single when older and trying to find a single man is probably really hard though. I just chalk it up to the struggle of this corrupt world. We all suffer in various ways. Being older and single is its own struggle.
     
  5. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla His will❣️my fate Supporter

    +7,680
    United States
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    In Relationship
    The larger issue is whether you’re able to date someone who initiated a divorce and repented for his error. Is he destined to be alone forever? What if his ex-wife remarried? You’re going to hear many opinions on this.

    The lone options around this issue are expanding your dating range (I’ve done this), concentrating your attention on men who came to faith at a later age, befriending a widow, or considering those who’ve had little experience with the opposite sex.

    I wouldn’t call the single, never married, and childless man a unicorn. I’ve only dated that type. But I think they’re less plentiful in Christian circles at that age. Barring the examples noted.
     
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  6. eleos1954

    eleos1954 God is Love Supporter

    +3,145
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    You are dating someone ... getting to know them as a person ... becoming friends ... in that process you learn about them and they learn about you ... depending on what that is you may or may not choose to continue dating them. I would say of greatest import would be what is their relationship with God and do they live it.

    God Bless.
     
  7. Daniel Marsh

    Daniel Marsh Well-Known Member

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    figure out what baggage he has before committing.
     
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  8. Mathetes66

    Mathetes66 Well-Known Member Supporter

    +843
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    Go with what you know is right & what you believe. God is able to bring the right one, at the right time & in the right way. God is not limited! :amen: Marriage is the second most important decision in life apart from being spiritually born again by faith in the Savior. So don't rush into it. It will be worth it.
     
  9. Dave-W

    Dave-W Welcoming grandchild #7, Arturus Waggoner! Supporter

    +16,542
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    Dating should not be a problem. After all, it is an extra-biblical practice to begin with; so the bible has nothing to say about it.

    Many people cannot even agree on what constitutes a date. I invited a young lady I knew from high school (I was in college) to my church at college. She went back home and said she had a date with me. REALLY?????????

    The problem comes if you fall in love and want to marry. I am not among the "Once Married Always Married" crowd any more than I am among the "OSAS" crowd. But like salvation, the marriage covenant is not easily broken. I would do some investigating and find out WHY the previous marriage broke up, and if the previous spouse has re-married. Do it BEFORE you fall in love.
     
    Last edited: Aug 21, 2019
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  10. Willie T

    Willie T St. Petersburg Vineyard

    +1,759
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    Very frankly, he will probably be better off if you don't. If you have those kinds of doubts already, it really wouldn't be fair to him to subject him to additional baggage.
     
  11. Aldebaran

    Aldebaran Star Power!

    +6,831
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    Here! :wave:
     
  12. LaBèlla

    LaBèlla His will❣️my fate Supporter

    +7,680
    United States
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    Yes, I’m aware they exist. Compatibility is another matter.
     
  13. Aldebaran

    Aldebaran Star Power!

    +6,831
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    D 'oh! :doh:
     
  14. Dave L

    Dave L Well-Known Member Supporter

    +4,585
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    God does not acknowledge divorce laws in the New Covenant any more than he does abortion or SSM. People are married for life whether divorced or not. And all remarriage is adultery.
     
  15. Albion

    Albion Facilitator

    +25,537
    Anglican
    Married
    Yes, you are. Obviously. But the question is this--under what circumstances did they become divorced?
     
  16. Carl Emerson

    Carl Emerson Well-Known Member

    +3,331
    New Zealand
    Christian
    Married
    There is a big difference between being divorced by an unbelieving partner and putting away your spouse.

    There are guys and girls out there that have been sinned against and no longer have a marriage.

    I was one.

    I waited 10 years then He arranged a new wife, I didn't seek it.

    33 years and 5 children later we have a blessed life in Him.

    The way it happened it could only be His doing. He called us to peace.
     
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  17. Dave L

    Dave L Well-Known Member Supporter

    +4,585
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    Divorce is not provided by God in the New Covenant. It was an Old Covenant provision.
     
  18. nanookadenord

    nanookadenord Well-Known Member

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    You've been saying that, and yet no where do I see that in the New Testament mentioned.
     
  19. nanookadenord

    nanookadenord Well-Known Member

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    Do you claim that God didn't change from the OT to the NT?
     
  20. Carl Emerson

    Carl Emerson Well-Known Member

    +3,331
    New Zealand
    Christian
    Married
    I had to wrestle with this issue of course, being a serious believer and wanting to get it right.

    Because the theological debate comes thick and fast I decided to contact a man who has dedicated his life to this issue - being a Prof. of NT studies he has written two papers on this issue which I highly recommend.

    We all have our positions but some are called out to spend years on one area of theological contention. Prof. Bill Heth is one.

    PM me if you want a copy...
     
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