Can I Stop Intrusive Thoughts? OCD Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit

[DoubtingThomas29]

I think grace alone has good advice there, try to trust God, when it comes to what your after life will be.

Ilike to believe that if there is a God he must be happy with my own personal spiritual beliefes or lack there of.

May the God of your choice bless you, with no worries of your after life, worry about this life.

 

[lindsaye]

lately when I am angry I find myself uttering blasphemy against the holy spirit, or having blasphemous thoughts (i find the speaking more upsetting, as it says that whoever SPEAKS a word against the holy spirit will not be forgiven) i don't know why this happens..sometimes I worry i have anger in me against the holy spirit for being the one thing i can't blaspheme against, the one thing if I blaspheme against i will go to hell, or i have anger in me that this sin exists, or if anger arises just about anything, my first reaction is the utterings and thoughts...i dunno if it happening more becuase i am stressed, and that is when OCD kicks in..i am having trouble distinguishing anymore and I am just really having a hard time...help

 

[Archaeopteryx]

lately when I am angry I find myself uttering blasphemy against the holy spirit, or having blasphemous thoughts (i find the speaking more upsetting, as it says that whoever SPEAKS a word against the holy spirit will not be forgiven) i don't know why this happens..sometimes I worry i have anger in me against the holy spirit for being the one thing i can't blaspheme against, the one thing if I blaspheme against i will go to hell, or i have anger in me that this sin exists, or if anger arises just about anything, my first reaction is the utterings and thoughts...i dunno if it happening more becuase i am stressed, and that is when OCD kicks in..i am having trouble distinguishing anymore and I am just really having a hard time...help

*Hugs* I feel for you, i really do. I have felt the same way as you describe and know how frustrating and difficult it gets. How your own thoughts turn against you and all of a sudden you can no longer tell whether it was you who thought it or the thoughts or the stress from the thoughts... it gets messy, confusing, so confusing that you don't know what to think anymore because the thoughts seem so contrasting to who you are.
I would like to say, have faith. For God, all things are possible and you are shielded by his total love and protected by his grace. Therefore, trust in him. God understands better than you or I that you are struggling with these thoughts. I do not think he will judge you for thoughts that you can not prevent, so have hope, these thoughts will not condemn you to hell, so do not condemn yourself, but rather, seek understanding from friends, family or even a professional. Insight is your best tool to fight against this and support.

 

[unpardoned1]

lately when I am angry I find myself uttering blasphemy against the holy spirit, or having blasphemous thoughts (i find the speaking more upsetting, as it says that whoever SPEAKS a word against the holy spirit will not be forgiven) i don't know why this happens..sometimes I worry i have anger in me against the holy spirit for being the one thing i can't blaspheme against, the one thing if I blaspheme against i will go to hell, or i have anger in me that this sin exists, or if anger arises just about anything, my first reaction is the utterings and thoughts...i dunno if it happening more becuase i am stressed, and that is when OCD kicks in..i am having trouble distinguishing anymore and I am just really having a hard time...help

I can relate to what you are saying. I think thats part of the reason I had my thought against the Holy Spirit that I'm so worried about. I think its because, as you said, He is the reason I have to worry about this sin. I think I got mad about it for a moment and I was already in a very stressful situation so that didn't help.

Its the OCD thats probably causing the thoughts. Also, it sounds like a touch of torettes syndrome. They are related.
I know how you feel. I have had other thoughts about the Holy Spirit when I get stressed. Its my minds automatic reaction sometimes when I'm stressed. Hugs. Please pm me if you need me. --Carrie.

 

[lindsaye]

thanks unpardoned and bjspurple...like i said it is the speaking outloud part that really gets me..and yes I've always had a touch of tourettes I believe, so I would like to chalk it up to that...but its so upsetting for this to happen when I'm stressed or angry, because then, like you said bjspurple, you cannot tell if you did it on purpose or if i can't control the thoughts and words...and like you said, Carrie, your automatic reaction is these thoughts...its like my 'default setting' some people curse in general or slam their fist down in anger..i happen to curse against the holy spirit in my mind or outloud....and somedays it just feels like its going to kill me...

 

[gracealone]

lately when I am angry I find myself uttering blasphemy against the holy spirit, or having blasphemous thoughts (i find the speaking more upsetting, as it says that whoever SPEAKS a word against the holy spirit will not be forgiven) i don't know why this happens..sometimes I worry i have anger in me against the holy spirit for being the one thing i can't blaspheme against, the one thing if I blaspheme against i will go to hell, or i have anger in me that this sin exists, or if anger arises just about anything, my first reaction is the utterings and thoughts...i dunno if it happening more becuase i am stressed, and that is when OCD kicks in..i am having trouble distinguishing anymore and I am just really having a hard time...help

Hi Lindsaye,
Just a few things to help you to know that it's the OCD that's causing all this.
One - are the thoughts/phrases unwanted?
Two - are they invasive or intrusive?
Three - Do they cause intense anxiety?
Four - Do they cause you to ruminate and obsess mentally and endlessly about them?
Five - Do spend a great deal of time debating with them or trying to solve them?
If your answers to these questions are yes - then you can be certain that this is OCD and you have no other choice but to treat it as such and put the stamp of invalid/not worthy of attention on these episodes. You have to try very hard to just let them be and don't encourage them by giving them the attention that they are demanding of you. No matter how anxious they make you feel inside.
Remember this - it is always the best choice to never poke a skunk. It's better to just let him be or he'll make a big stink that you won't be able to ignore. So just consider these OCD manisfestations to be skunks and do your level best to ignore them.
I know you are in a tremendous amount of anguish over this because your OCD has attacked that which you hold dearest. You have my heartfelt prayers.
Under the Mercy,
Mitzi

 

[unpardoned1]

Gracealone is right. Even though you said them outloud, it doesn't matter. It is strictly the illness. Our minds are quick and all it takes is a split second. For me, I think that its that I don't want to say it so it becomes something compelling to think. It don't think you want to say it, but the stress takes over and the compulsion to say it kicks in at the same time and its hard to tell where it came from, right? God knows all this and I don't beleive He would hold you accountable. You obviously care and are concerned. Someone who did this sin, wouldn't care anymore. There are actually people, atheist, that prove to others they don't believe in God, by actually purpously saying something against the Holy Spirit. They are the ones that want to say it, not you, but I bet God would forgive them too, if they asked.

I think the unpardonable sin is so much more deep rooted then just uttering a couple words. Like my pastor said to me a couple years ago when I first found Christian Forums, "You could say it over and over again while balancing chickens on your head, and this still isn't the sin." lol.

 

[marcb]

I just had that experience today. Being upset, extremely upset and letting all of those blasphemous thoughts just rage inside my mind. I am so sick of it. I can't just be mad about something -- It will go to this blasphemy issue even if I am mad about something else.....

 

[amishparadise]

"1864 "Therefore I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven."136137 Such hardness of heart can lead to final impenitence and eternal loss." There are no limits to the mercy of God, but anyone who deliberately refuses to accept his mercy by repenting, rejects the forgiveness of his sins and the salvation offered by the Holy Spirit." (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 1864, p. 509)

Blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is not getting an obscene obsessive thought about Him stuck in your head involuntarily. It is a lifelong, totally willful choice to put yourself outside the possibility of forgiveness of sin, by spending your entire life totally impenitent and hardened to mortal sin.

If you're even in a state of willingness to feel sorrow for sin, and love for God, by definition, you cannot have committed the unforgivable sin.


P.S. Hey, marc is back! Cool!

 

[marcb]

Thank you, amishparadise. For a while there I was so bent out of shape, that I did not feel I deserved forgiveness (which I guess theologically is true for us all). I hadn't been that bad for a while, but I feel better now. God seemed like the enemy for a while. I had despaired over how bad my thoughts got and how brazen my attitude was. Part of me just wouldn't stop pressing whatever limits there are, or whatever limits I perceived. It felt dangerous, but I was almost determined to condemn myself. Anyways, thank you for your response. I know I haven't had much to contribute of late, but I thank you for your support. Marc

 

[childofgod57]

lately when I am angry I find myself uttering blasphemy against the holy spirit, or having blasphemous thoughts (i find the speaking more upsetting, as it says that whoever SPEAKS a word against the holy spirit will not be forgiven) i don't know why this happens..sometimes I worry i have anger in me against the holy spirit for being the one thing i can't blaspheme against, the one thing if I blaspheme against i will go to hell, or i have anger in me that this sin exists, or if anger arises just about anything, my first reaction is the utterings and thoughts...i dunno if it happening more becuase i am stressed, and that is when OCD kicks in..i am having trouble distinguishing anymore and I am just really having a hard time...help

hi im not an expert on such things but i believe blasphemy against the holy spirit is an outright rejection when he shows himself to a person not vocal insults,GOD knows our true hearts anyway and would never take notice of us when we have an illness which interferes with our natural personalities so i shouldnt worry too much if i was you.....

 

[lindsaye]

i love this forum so much, and the people in it

 

[QUannie]

Hey Marc and Lindsaye,
I prayed for you two!
I am so sorry for what your going through and Marc I am so glad you are coming out of the other end of you struggle!
My heart goes out to you......
Stay focused on Jesus!!! He knows everything and we already know He has won!!

Blessing,
Q

 

[gracealone]

Hey Marc,
I've missed your posts. Your transparent sharing of your suffering, without holding back, is extremely helpful to me... as it makes me know that someone else out there really understands what I go through.
Mitzi

 

[marcb]

Hey Marc,
I've missed your posts. Your transparent sharing of your suffering, without holding back, is extremely helpful to me... as it makes me know that someone else out there really understands what I go through.
Mitzi

Mitzi

At first glance, I thought you were going to say "it makes me know that someone else out there is a whole lot crazier than me." Sorry I couldn't resist the opportunity to joke a little.

Thank you all for your prayers. Today is a better day. I still have that "prayer block," and question my "forgivability" a bit, but I think God will provide me with what I need. Part of that is this great group. The other part is getting back to the Word.

Marc

 

[amishparadise]

Thank you, amishparadise. For a while there I was so bent out of shape, that I did not feel I deserved forgiveness (which I guess theologically is true for us all). I hadn't been that bad for a while, but I feel better now. God seemed like the enemy for a while. I had despaired over how bad my thoughts got and how brazen my attitude was. Part of me just wouldn't stop pressing whatever limits there are, or whatever limits I perceived. It felt dangerous, but I was almost determined to condemn myself. Anyways, thank you for your response. I know I haven't had much to contribute of late, but I thank you for your support. Marc

Hi, Marc- it's good to see you back in here again. I was wondering if you'd come back, and hoping you were doing all right.

How are your symptoms recently? Are you in CBT now?

 

[lindsaye]

thanks quannie! sometimes I wonder if my sinfulness is connected..when I am really struggling with sin (and losing)...sometimes it seems to be worse and it makes me feel unforgiveable..ya know?

 

[marcb]

Hi, Marc- it's good to see you back in here again. I was wondering if you'd come back, and hoping you were doing all right.

How are your symptoms recently? Are you in CBT now?

No, I am in no formal therapy right now. I thought I was doing pretty well. "Stand unmoved" from Ephesians 6 was my mantra. I was not letting any of the thoughts bother me. However, my symptoms flared when my unrelated life stresses peaked recently.

My symptoms seem to be managed well by distance running, but with the smoke here in Southern CA, I have been on the sidelines. I am sure that not running for a few days has decreased my ability to manage stress. Last night was the height of my stress, which triggered all sorts of angry blasphemous thoughts that I really might not attribute to ocd.

Thanks for asking. It is nice to be back.

Marc

 

[QUannie]

Lindsaye,
I know what you mean about feeling unforgivable! But the GREAT news is, it is not about the feelings we have....it is about the Lords finished work on our behalf, because He loves us!!! He loves you so much, He predestined you to be adopted into His family as His daughter through Jesus!! Think about that, He chose YOU! He WANTS you!! He has already paid the price for you....Jesus has taken care of all that needed to be done and He did it all right...perfectly! He did all this in love!! Pour your heart out to Him about how you feel and your concern about the thoughts and speaking.
I prayed for you dear one!

Love,
Q

 

[ThoughHeSlayMe]

HI,
"Though He slay Me"
I absolutely love your screen name because it too is one of my OCD motto's.
Since you so clearly understand exposure/response you might want to try something that has helped me a bit.
Everytime I get that nagging creeping fear that maybe it's me after all.. not OCD maybe I'm really not a Christian or never was or maybe I'm going to become an atheist and variations of those thoughts, I use exposure/response in this way: I say to myself.. "OK, Mitzi, so maybe you are right... maybe you are on your way to hell for your lack of faith". Then I employ your screen name and say "OK then... even in Hell I'll still praise His name for 'though He slay me.. yet will I trust Him'.. because He alone is worthy of any and all trust".
I know that sounds weird but it's like I just let the thought be there and don't fight it any more, it is only then that I begin to calm down.
If I spend a great deal of time debating these issues and searching for proof or evidence that these horrible thoughts aren't true then I get into a huge obsessive/anxiety cycle.
I'm so sorry to hear of your relapse.. but Heather and Marc gave excellent advice about how these things can happen to us. I've been really great for years also only to have a really rotten relapse of my OCD and it just seems so hard when it comes back... like you've forgotten just how miserablei t is to do battle with it.
Time to re-hone your skills.. and maybe try a new med. or a different dosage.
I will certainly keep you in my prayers.
Remember that we can only fall within the hand of God, not out of it.
Under the Grace,
Mitzi

Thanks for your awesome insight! I have been forgetting to visit this website. I'm doing better since I stopped a medication I was taking for something else. The medicine is called, Neurontin. It is supposed to help with nerve pain and restless leg syndrome. I did some research online and I found some people mentioned their OCD got worse while on this medication! I weaned off of it (only was on it for a couple of months) and noticed a major difference in the OCD. Of course, it never totally goes away but it is much more bearable than when I was taking this medicine. God bless you for your response!