'Letting stuff in' is the issue. I have come to realize that the competitive nature of theological debate within academia does something to me which I don't fully understand but which throws my relationship with God into a tailspin.
Not just your relationship with God, darling.
If you consider your relationship with God as central to your existence, in the same way as the earth's relationship with the sun, then when that one goes a bit wobbly, everything goes wobbly.
I have a friend who is a barrister, and who is perfectly lovable, charming and kind, unless you happen to trigger her into a state of advocacy, in which case she turns into a bit of a tiger. One point after another is thrown at you, beating you into submission bit by bit. Bless her, she doesn't even know she is doing it, but I know, and when she starts I disengage. I just let her talk it all out of her system.
Another friend is equally loveable, but is a nurse. She is fine, unless you happen to mention feeling a bit under the weather. Then you get the third degree about symptoms, and a whole list of possible diagnoses. If you don't stop her in her tracks and change the subject she will have you diagnosed and be advising on medication before you can turn around.
Another friend is a delight, until he gets triggered into sermon mode; he is, of course, a priest. Once he starts, again it is very difficult to stop him, but in this case I don't mind so much; I am usually (not always, of course) interested to learn from him.
What we learn from this is that we are all capable of getting caught in our own particular issues, and of extrapolating from them to the world at large as if we are Everyman. Mostly we are not. When my barrister friend is not a Barrister, she is lovely, ditto my nurse friend when not being a Nurse, and my priest friend when not being too much of a Priest. It is almost as if they put on another persona with these identities; not a particularly attractive one.
If you find the same happening to you, then at least you can see it. I suspect the antidote is to decide to listen and not join in; take a vow of silence at that point and stick to it. Regard it as part of Christian humility; that way you learn a lot, and you don't get wound up. Nobody learns anything if you join in, because the chances are the others are not listening, just as the Barrister, the Nurse and the Priest really don't want to know what I think; they just want to pontificate. Learn from A Kempis, and forget the rest. He will teach you all the theology you will ever need.
Another way of looking at this is through the model of; 'I'm ok:you're ok'. In debate the aim is to put the other side down (You're not ok) in order to win. In the more reasonable adult world there is no interest in; 'I win;you lose'. This only sows the seeds of the next confrontation, when you will hope to reverse the result.
Aim for 'I'm ok:you're ok.' In other words, there is much to be said for your point of view (however barking mad it actually is), but have you considered this issue as well? That invites calm consideration, rather than causing bruising.
If your theological debate is causing bruising, it is because it is being done in a childish way; I win, you lose.
Alternatively, look into transactional analysis to find out more about how this happens, and how we hook one another into feeling bad.
At least you are aware of the issues - most are not. Thank you for your thoughtful contribution.
I am only aware of them because I have to be. Ptsd is not pleasant to deal with, so I avoid anything that will set me off. Some things still inevitably get through and cause huge stress, but mostly I stay calm enough if I am careful.