Breaking up due to being in different denominations

[cappycappy]

Is inter-denominational marriage considered the same as being unequally yoked, even if both partner profess to be Christians?

A friend of mine was engaged to a Catholic man and she's Baptist. Her parents kept forcing the issue of converting, but he insisted he was a Christian. The woman's family invited him to their house one evening and made him get down on his knees (literally) and profess that Jesus was his savior. He complied with all this, but later on he didn't like all of it, being forced to do that.So things went sour and he ended the engagement and the woman is 42 years old and she might not get another chance to marry and a chance to have biological children.
So I guess what I'm asking is, why is Catholic considered not equally yoked with a Baptist and should an engagement break up over this, especially if the person(s) might not get a chance at marriage and family. I'm asking also because I know so many older singles who kept bypassing someone based on religious differences and they are still single and not happy about it. (Although yes, there are people who love being single and that's their choice).

 

[Albion]

Is inter-denominational marriage considered the same as being unequally yoked, even if both partner profess to be Christians?

Not unless one party actively interferes with the other one's religious loyalties. Many inter-faith marriages work out fine because the two people are willing to respect each other's Christian denomination/religion.

A friend of mine was engaged to a Catholic man and she's Baptist. Her parents kept forcing the issue of converting, but he insisted he was a Christian. The woman's family invited him to their house one evening and made him get down on his knees (literally) and profess that Jesus was his savior. He complied with all this, but later on he didn't like all of it, being forced to do that.So things went sour and he ended the engagement....

So I guess what I'm asking is, why is Catholic considered not equally yoked with a Baptist and should an engagement break up over this, especially if the person(s) might not get a chance at marriage and family.

In my humble opinion, you've described an exceptionally hostile attitude towards the other person's faith and this kind of thing WOULD amount to being unequally yoked. The woman, to be fair, is not described as the instigator or oppressor. It's the parents, but if she allows this and will not do anything to prevent it, she shares her parents' wrongdoing and is at least partly responsible for the breakup therefore.

On the other hand, her fiancé seems to have gone to great lengths not to provoke or anger the parents, so if the woman you are concerned about took drastic action to remedy this awful situation--and soon--she might be able to repair things with her intended spouse. Is she of a mind to do that? It would require more than a few words or requests to tone things down, etc. etc.

 

[timothyu]

There are no denominations in the Kingdom. They are playing mankind's games. Jesus didn't create a religion. He brought us a way of life. Tell them to smarten up.

 

[Andrewn]

A friend of mine was engaged to a Catholic man and she's Baptist. Her parents kept forcing the issue of converting, but he insisted he was a Christian. The woman's family invited him to their house one evening and made him get down on his knees (literally) and profess that Jesus was his savior.

Her family is ridiculous. If he is a Christian who loves the Lord, goes to a church, prays, and reads the Bible, there should be no problem. The only issue would be which church to go to in the future.

 

[solid_core]

Is inter-denominational marriage considered the same as being unequally yoked, even if both partner profess to be Christians?

A friend of mine was engaged to a Catholic man and she's Baptist. Her parents kept forcing the issue of converting, but he insisted he was a Christian. The woman's family invited him to their house one evening and made him get down on his knees (literally) and profess that Jesus was his savior. He complied with all this, but later on he didn't like all of it, being forced to do that.So things went sour and he ended the engagement and the woman is 42 years old and she might not get another chance to marry and a chance to have biological children.
So I guess what I'm asking is, why is Catholic considered not equally yoked with a Baptist and should an engagement break up over this, especially if the person(s) might not get a chance at marriage and family. I'm asking also because I know so many older singles who kept bypassing someone based on religious differences and they are still single and not happy about it. (Although yes, there are people who love being single and that's their choice).

Well, parents probably had a good motivation, but totally silly ways.

Its very understandable that after being practically abused to do something against his will, he better left such family.

I think that interdenominational relationship/marriage is possible, if both are more into the core Christian belief and do not base too much on their specific traditions and additions. But such things must get cleared in first dating talks, not after you get into engagement, its too late.

 

[timothyu]

I think that interdenominational relationship/marriage is possible, if both are more into the core beliefs and do not base too much on their specific traditions and additions.

Like loving all as self. Sounds like they've failed God's will for us.

 

[solid_core]

Like loving all as self. Sounds like they've failed God's will for us.

I was more talking about theological basics. But sure, both catholics or baptists should practice love, peace, joy, wisdom, self-control etc.

 

[Brian Mcnamee]

Hi many churches are all holding hands and teaching unity in Jesus and if you are in Jesus that is true. The Baptist have many members who believe Bible prophecy about the end times are a literal 7 year period when the antichrist reigns and all the plagues come down. The Roman Catholic Church in many's opinion is mystery Babylon in Revelation or the harlot church. This is really not the forum to debate this but this is a huge difference if this is true and would be a red flag to marry a Catholic if you hold these views. Look into this issue and educate yourself and you might have a clearer view of what it up.
On the flip side the Catholic Church has in its counsels decreed many anathemas. An anathema is a decree that if you hold certain positions or deny other positions your soul is accursed. If you google this list many of the Baptist beliefs will be on the list. Most in both faiths do not know the churches doctrines in this sort of thing.

 

[timothyu]

I was more talking about theological basics.

None more basic than God's two commandments. Put His will before our own thus loving all as self. Kind of makes denominations redundant.

 

[solid_core]

None more basic than God's two commandments. Put His will before our own thus loving all as self. Kind of makes denominations redundant.

You are talking about practice.

But there are also some views people have. And some differences can be crucial for a unity in a relationship.

 

[dzheremi]

I don't know how it works with Protestant denominations, but older Christian churches generally do have rules about who can marry who and in what circumstances. Probably your Catholic friend could have married his Baptist girlfriend if his Church gave him what they call a "disparity of cult" dispensation ("cult" here just means belief system; that the partner is not Catholic). But of course that says nothing about whether or not the Baptist half's parents would've recognized him as a Christian, which they apparently did not. That's a real shame.

As to whether or not it should be that way, I guess that's a decision you have to make yourself if your own church's tradition doesn't make it for you. I personally see great value in having a unified church in the home. What's the old saying (I think from Dutch or German) -- two beliefs sleep together, the devil sleeps between them? (Or something like that?)

 

[Albion]

I'm thinking that on one critical point, all we have to go on is "So things went sour and he ended the engagement."

What exactly was the woman's attitude towards the doings that her parents forced on the fiance...and what is the woman's attitude towards her beloved's religion and his (presumed) intention to be faithful to its requirements??

If she's either okay with what the parents did, or won't cross them in any case, or is of a similar mind as concerns what the parents think of Catholicism generally, I cannot see much hope for a turnaround.

 

[timothyu]

I cannot see much hope for a turnaround.

Likely not when they not only politicize Christianity, but also a relationship. We reap what we sow.

 

[seeking.IAM]

Religious issues aside, when you are 42 I think you pretty much get to make your own decisions. That is what adulting in all about.

 

[cappycappy]

No, it can't be repaired, it is over for good. They won't get married now, ever.

 

[cappycappy]

Religious issues aside, when you are 42 I think you pretty much get to make your own decisions. That is what adulting in all about.

Same.

I just think it could have led to her family disowning her, though. A painful choice.

 

[cappycappy]

I'm thinking that on one critical point, all we have to go on is "So things went sour and he ended the engagement."

What exactly was the woman's attitude towards the doings that her parents forced on the fiance...and what is the woman's attitude towards her beloved's religion and his (presumed) intention to be faithful to its requirements??

If she's either okay with what the parents did, or won't cross them in any case, or is of a similar mind as concerns what the parents think of Catholicism generally, I cannot see much hope for a turnaround.

They believe Catholics are not saved. They believe that equally yoked is a commandment.

 

[Sketcher]

Is inter-denominational marriage considered the same as being unequally yoked, even if both partner profess to be Christians?

A friend of mine was engaged to a Catholic man and she's Baptist. Her parents kept forcing the issue of converting, but he insisted he was a Christian. The woman's family invited him to their house one evening and made him get down on his knees (literally) and profess that Jesus was his savior. He complied with all this, but later on he didn't like all of it, being forced to do that.So things went sour and he ended the engagement and the woman is 42 years old and she might not get another chance to marry and a chance to have biological children.
So I guess what I'm asking is, why is Catholic considered not equally yoked with a Baptist and should an engagement break up over this, especially if the person(s) might not get a chance at marriage and family. I'm asking also because I know so many older singles who kept bypassing someone based on religious differences and they are still single and not happy about it. (Although yes, there are people who love being single and that's their choice).

Catholics sort of believe it's unequal yoking too - they likely would have made her agree to raise any children they have as Catholic in order to tolerate her.

Personally, I find the situation as described ridiculous. Her parents were incredibly disrespectful to him. The fact that he's a Catholic just brought out that disrespect in a particular way. A Baptist wouldn't have gotten that from them, but Heaven help him if he crossed them in any way.

 

[kittysbecute]

It’s not “unequally yoked” if they are both Christians. But I would say it is incompatibility when they allow their family to bully over their differences in denomination. When one person in a couple allows/supports their family to bully the other person.... it is not a good match.
On the other hand if the couple doesn't like the differences they have then it is reasonable to consider it incompatibility.

People can and do marry from different christian denominations all the time. It’s not unequally yoked. But depending on each person’s view they can decide if it’s something that is a “deal breaker” or not.

 

[Albion]

They believe Catholics are not saved. They believe that equally yoked is a commandment.

You are right that this is at the heart of the friction. And the reason why the issue about being unequally yoked together is part of this discussion.

It's not a case of one party being a member of one Christian denomination and the other spouse being a member of a different Christian denomination. It does matter which denominations we are referring to and what their own teachings are concerning inter-denominational marriages.