Boyfriend with Different Belief

[UtahRaptor]

Hi

My name is Rachel.

I am testing the waters in becoming a Christian [I pray at times, but not enough according to my family].

Below is one of the reasons why I am thinking otherwise.


I come from a die-hard Christian family which has a "silly" belief that Christian should marry Christian.


I on the otherhand, don't believe that.

>>>>>>>>>The Reason why

I happen to have a 17 and a 1/2 year old boyfriend called Nathan who I have known for four to five years. We were very close friends until we started dating after my birthday [Jan 1st].

Nathan is a Jew, not a Christian, and that goes against my family's beliefs.

While Nathan is away getting a law degree, my parents have tried to get me to go out with Christians.

They are nice and all, but just not for me. Nathan and I, I guess you can say, have something speical.

But my family is completely against this... And I really don't want to get them mad enough to have nothing to do with me later in life.
>>>>>>>>>>>

My question is rather simple.

What shall I do?

Go with a Christian like my family wants?
Or Stick with how I feel about Nathan?

Thanks


ps. I am not getting married anytime soon. Education first. By the next school year, I will be working to get a research degree in cancer treatment since my great grandmother died of it. [that was the only time I can remember praying]

 

[DaveKerwin]

My advice: receive Christ as your saviour and regroup.

 

[UtahRaptor]

Even if that means leaving the one that was meant to be yours?

 

[UtahRaptor]

I mean love the guy

 

[J.A.I]

If he is meant to be yours, he will be yours. When you accept Jesus Christ as your Savior, you can trust He will have nothing but the best for you. So even if you and Nathan break up, you can trust it is because God has something better in store for you.

I was with a guy off and on from the time I was 17 til I was 23. That is a long time. Our beliefs are very different. When I started living my life for God, I liked him less and less. I thought we were supposed to be together, thought we were going to get married, and I cared about him quite a bit. Now, he is not in my life, and I do not miss him.. At the time, when in that relationship, I thought I couldn't bear to be without him, but now I am involved with a WONDERFUL man of God who is more than I could have ever imagined for myself.

So there's my .02.

 

[SlowRoasted]

Im with the other people, make sure you know where you are going when you die before you are worrying about worldly stuff like boyfriends. Eternity is more important. I think you will have a different perspective on this situation once you do find out who Jesus really is. Trust your family, they sound like awesome people to me, and they know what they are talking about.

 

[Lizzi4Christ]

There is nothing "silly" about your parents believing that a Christian should marry another Christian. In general, if a person married a person of a different religion, it causes problems.

Having a boyfriend or getting married is nothing in compareison of where you're going to spend eternity. You should be thinking about that first and foremost. Family isn't as stupid as we would like to believe. Sometimes, they're right do know better then we do.

 

[loveisallyouneed]

I think it's pretty difficult to have inter-faith relationships. Of the ones I've experience one always ends up converting to the other, or completely stops attending services and celebrating holy days. Are you or him willing to give up your faith to be together? That seems like a pretty big, life altering decision. I know you love him, but just know that you both will have a very difficult road ahead of you.

God bless!

 

[shania]

I'd still explore your faith regardless of the fact that your boyfriend isn't Christian. You owe it to yourself to define and affirm what you believe in. Who knows, maybe your boyfriend will become a Christian one day or a Messianic Jew. If things are meant to be then you will be together. If you realize later that he's not the one, there's someone even better for you that you will meet when the time is right.

 

[ufonium2]

I have to agree with everyone else. No relationship with a human being is more important than your relationship with God. Remember, this life is temporary, the next is eternal. There's nothing in this life worth jeopardizing your eternal soul for.

 

[Aijin]

I agree too.

Also the one who God wants you to be with will be better for you than any other person in the world. God made you for that person and made that person for you. He wants you two to be together. It may be Nathan, it might not... but the way to find out is to trust in God. The bible does say not to be unequally yoked. So until you find someone that you are in the same place spiritually (which includes beliefs) then you should only be pursuing friendships rather than the more intimate relationship.

 

[UtahRaptor]

I doubt any of you fools knew that God was a JEW.

 

[selune]

Jesus was Jewish, but he transcended being Jewish and was sent here to save the people God created. How sad that you wish to attack those who are only trying to help you. Serious interfaith relationships cause problems. A friend of my daughter once said she doesn't know what she is because her father is Christian and mother is Jewish, and she doesn't belong to either because they have such different beliefs regarding the Messiah. Yeah, that's a lot for a 9 year old to deal with. So when people advise you about dating, it's not just to irk you, it's to make you take some serious thought about what may happen in the future.

 

[DJBelieves]

It's easier to be equally yoked, than not, with your partner.

 

[DJBelieves]

utahraptor, is he a messianic jew?

 

[DatingSmarts]

I would say that you must make the decision yourself. What we say here doesn't matter.

I do agree that people should accept people who are different. But most people can't seem to do this.

They also pick on the person who is different.

This jewish friend of yours is probably nice and a good person. But that does not mean you shoudl marry him. your family is wrong in trying to force a break-up.

You really need to pray about this.

To be honest, the guy has not proposed marriage to you. while he is going to school, he will be meeting many new and different people. He will be stimulated, especially his mind, to learn new things and to learn to think correctly. All of this learning and growth could cause you and he to either grow closer or grow apart.

The same thing will happen to you when you go to college. This is an environment that aids the growth of a human being in many ways, intellectually, socially, etc. IT is a GOOD THING.

Because of the growth opportunities and nature of human development, it is possible that your relationship may grow apart because you may end up going in different directions because of the way God made you. We still don't know what kind of seeds/plants you and your friend may turn into.

 

[DatingSmarts]

since he has not proposed marriage...this should not even be an issue right now. Perhaps, you are making it one.

Also, they have no right to interfere in your relationships. if they are nagging you and bugging you to break up it is going to be difficult.

The struggle you are facing may not be worth it right now because he hasn't proposed to you. your not engaged.

I would just drop the issue. However, if they are coming to you and making it an issue, then that is a major problem. because they are trespassing against you.

are you and this boy exclusive?

if not, then i would date other people anyway. that is a good dating principle and has absolutely nothing to do with differences in religion.

So..if you and this boy are not engaged and are not exclusive dating partners, then I would definintely be dating lots of people. I would not be tying myself down to one person and limit myself. What if I missed out on mr. right becuase mr wrong had me committed in a go nowhere relationship because he was selfish and/or insecure.

Boys do try to unfairly limit a girls dating opportunities when they have no intention of marrying the girl. And they have been known to lie to get a girl to commit and not date others, just so he can make sure she is not having sex with anyone else. Im not saying you and this boy are having sex. That is just how some men think. And its not right when they aren't even married to each other. ITs immoral in my book.

 

[DatingSmarts]

Also it bothers me that your parents and family are trying to force you to become christian. they are trying to rush you. I don't think they should be doing that.

the holy spirit is the one who guides your spiritual. GOD IS A GENTLEMAN. He is not a high pressure salesman.

your family's faith is not your faith.

faith is a personal thing. by being pushy they are interfereing in the development of your faith.

I can see why you haven't embraced the christian faith up to this point no thanks to them.

 

[P3nguin1]

I doubt any of you fools knew that God was a JEW.

Forgive me if I am wrong, but I smell a troll (a person who is posting only to cause a reaction).

If you think these posters fools, why did you ask for their advice?

Or were you hoping that they would agree with you so you would have some ammo to stand up to your parents?

There are two peices of advice I will give. They came from The Word of God, but are practical no matter what your belief.

#1 Do not be unequally yolked. From a Christian perspective this is important because it will put you in a position of constantly defending your faith at the one place that should be your refuge... your own home. From a logical perspective, two people with different fundamental spiritual beliefs are a bad combination. You are inviting trouble into your life.

#2 Honor your mother and father. It is a command from God. If that is not enough for you then just realise that they often REALLY do know what is best for you. They got you this far, why ignore them now? When you are a grown woman and living on your own you will realize the wisdom of their words. For the time being just take it on faith that they are looking out for your best interests.

 

[DatingSmarts]

I would not go to family to discuss the issues of becoming a christian. I woudl go to a pastor. Go to people who are qualified to teach.

Now personally, I would recommend that any questions you have be directed to a catholic priest. BUt this is not your faith background. However, the role of the catholic priest is to TEACH everything there is to know about being a christian. Any questions you may have will be answered with respect and you will not be pushed around like what is happening with friends and family trying to make you believe.

and a catholic priest won't use high pressure sales tactics on you. they are teachers. i just know this from my own personal experience of searching for the truth about jesus and god. I had the best information and transfer of knowledge from priests. Either through listenting to homilies or aksing questions after mass to the preist to explain somethign I didn't understand or agree with. I even made appointments to discuss these matters at length if they did not make sense.