Many of us have set boundaries in our relationships. What are your guys boundaries. Not saying it has to be one way or another, lets not get into fights over what's right or not. Ok guys....... Our boundaries are no kissing on the lips, pretty much kissing on the cheek, obviously no sex.
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Boundaries...
- Thread starter USA
- Start date
We had boundaries but they kind of disappeared. I now know from 20/20 hind sight, it's a lot easier to go without something you haven't had so if you don't want to do something stick to it because if you slip once it's easier to again.
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digitalfeed
Active Member
I concur as well with what you said Linnis. Once you've already entangled yourself in it, it's a lot harder to go without.
When we were dating, we also set up boundries. We said we'd stop kissing, but that was a work in progress. It didn't always work. So yes, it is harder once you've already done it.
When we were dating, we also set up boundries. We said we'd stop kissing, but that was a work in progress. It didn't always work. So yes, it is harder once you've already done it.
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Sascha Fitzpatrick
Well-Known Member
What about non-sexual boundaries? Like what behaviour is unacceptable, and what you will/will not tolerate?
They're important as well.
I just find Christians often spend most of their relationship talking about sexual boundaries, and forgetting about the emotional/attitude boundaries in the mean time!
Sasch
They're important as well.
I just find Christians often spend most of their relationship talking about sexual boundaries, and forgetting about the emotional/attitude boundaries in the mean time!Sasch
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MagicStar723
Well-Known Member
Sasch,
Couldn't agree with you more! I actually saw a relationship destroyed (a good Christian relationship) because they focused so much on the sexual bounderies they forgot about the other things.
Couldn't agree with you more! I actually saw a relationship destroyed (a good Christian relationship) because they focused so much on the sexual bounderies they forgot about the other things.
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I
Inperfected
Guest
Yes,
Boundries before marriage (if any one can get a copy) is amazing! It covers stuff for marriage too i believe..
For me and my fiance boundries on the other stuff (non-sexual) is easy and pretty much set in concrete... we both push them at times (ie too close to him when he's busy, or him annoy me when i'm angry) but we both understand and forgive each other.
Sexual boundries have been rather loose... Very loose... But that's over and done with
Biggest prob i have is staying out of his bed... and i'm talking in a sleeping in a sleeping bag on it sense!
Boundries before marriage (if any one can get a copy) is amazing! It covers stuff for marriage too i believe..
For me and my fiance boundries on the other stuff (non-sexual) is easy and pretty much set in concrete... we both push them at times (ie too close to him when he's busy, or him annoy me when i'm angry) but we both understand and forgive each other.
Sexual boundries have been rather loose... Very loose... But that's over and done with
Biggest prob i have is staying out of his bed... and i'm talking in a sleeping in a sleeping bag on it sense!
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Boundaries... yeah... generally... but we don't spend much time delineating them! As far as sexual stuff, I think the best thing to do is keep busy & stay around people a lot. And keep an extra bit of distance between us when we're alone.
Besides all that- as far as "emotional/attitude" stuff, and what we will & won't tolerate- we tend to have many more problems trying to understand & tolerate other peoples' emotional/attitude problems than each others'! Maybe it's because we've been together for a good long while & we understand & read each other pretty accurately by now! He can tell when he's done something that bothers me & he makes time to sit down with me & let me "pour out my woes". But then we're engaged, so I dunno if we count....?
Besides all that- as far as "emotional/attitude" stuff, and what we will & won't tolerate- we tend to have many more problems trying to understand & tolerate other peoples' emotional/attitude problems than each others'! Maybe it's because we've been together for a good long while & we understand & read each other pretty accurately by now!
He can tell when he's done something that bothers me & he makes time to sit down with me & let me "pour out my woes". But then we're engaged, so I dunno if we count....?
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FiRePrOoF_bUnNy
THE BUNNY and THE SQUISHY
- Apr 12, 2005
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Well our only problems are sexual boundaries.
The emotional/attitude boundaries are fine - we don't annoy each other, and we go out with friends and don't argue at all really.
So thus our only problem is a big one, we slip on constantly and it's really difficult now.. as someone said before as soon as you know what your missing it's harder.. and boy is it harder!
I'd like to say were working through it? But were not..It only got this bad because we said ok we can take it up to there then it stops.. then we went up to that boundary tip toed over it, then we've taken baby steps and when your not watching that can go pretty quickly. You have to set your boundaries in concrete and stick to them.. really stick to them.. because theres no easy way of going back.
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kiss n thts it. we're strong enough to share the same bed n not do anything which is great we can just snuggle up n go to sleep.
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I
Inperfected
Guest
Hmmm becareful of being in bed together...
That ends up with such hurt.. not that i can talk being that i struggle with it
That ends up with such hurt.. not that i can talk being that i struggle with it
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we love each other so much n kno each other v v well...we dont hurt each other, trust we are sensible.
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purple85
Active Member
My boundaries have gone from "no sex before marriage", to "no touching each other inappropriatley", to "no kissing on the lips" over the space of 2 1/2 years in which time i've been in three relationships.
I'm not currently in a relationship at the moment, but I intend to make my boundaries of "no kissing-and nothing more than that" very clear to the next guy that comes my way.
Whether he agrees with that or not will prove to me if he respects me enough to be willing to get to know me as a friend first and foremost with nothing physical getting in the way of being able to see clearly if there is a future between us.
I believe this is the best way (see my post in 'singles ministry' entitled 'Love and Relationships: My Testimony').
I'm not currently in a relationship at the moment, but I intend to make my boundaries of "no kissing-and nothing more than that" very clear to the next guy that comes my way.
Whether he agrees with that or not will prove to me if he respects me enough to be willing to get to know me as a friend first and foremost with nothing physical getting in the way of being able to see clearly if there is a future between us.
I believe this is the best way (see my post in 'singles ministry' entitled 'Love and Relationships: My Testimony').
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SimplyUnique
Simply Unique, Simply Me
hmmm...well he is gone so we don't really need boundaries coz we won't be in physical contact for at least 2 more years
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