born psychotic

[xounstaer]

hello i have a quick thing to share or talk about.

when i was first diagnosed the psychologist told me i had been psychotic my whole life.

how does this cope then with being sick and being diagnosed psychotic? is what i ask.

to me myself i have a clear vieuw and all falls pretty nice into a total picture. especially knowing i was born with it.

how does this sound to you??

 

[xounstaer]

tehn when i got 17/18/19 i was very busy with crying over the crusifix and started reading the bible and got flourish psychotic. and started a road within the christian religion and the biblic words, and that road still has no end.
and basicly my coming to believe meant me getting psychotic. and i had to get treated in the psychiatric hospital institute. bu my believe kept getting developped and evolved to being a christian now. with an open mind.

an open mind, just like timothy saw the holes in jesus hands; i felt them in my feet as well. besides the rest of horror symptoms.

and i had my experience with the star and the sun as shown in my profile picture.

and now whats next?

i am working at going to live on my own.

it has all been a long road filled with experiences related to the bible. but that means psychoses atst.

thx for sharing.

grtz stein de moor

salut

 

[Rishad]

what problem are you suffering from?

 

[xounstaer]

atm i really fin dit hard to put jesus first instead of me. besides that i can feel like this life has got not much to offer and it is all aimed at statusses and so.

but really i have not many problems atm.

but still is suffer under my beilieve i guess. lots of symptoms go combined with my believe, and are basicly my believe.

for example i believe the holy spirit/ghost connects us immidiatly. so when i watch life television. i can not seperate whats shown on tv form my own thought. i believe then they have influence on each other. but besides that basicly eventhough i feel great my psychoses is totally active. though again the road goes on....

i can easily compare myself with the biblical characters that where locked up do to their believe. so did i get locked up only because i believed to be the messias.

now i know i am stein de moor (my real name) and that not believing to be the messias doesnt change a thing.

i need to learn to live, deal and cope with it. having the believe jesus had. and others before him who also believed in him and trusted in him.

it is this which other people find hard to embrace, and have been in conflict about for over 4000 years.

grtz

 

[Rishad]

A lot of people find it tough to put Jesus before them, thanks to the materialistic world.
Regarding you sickness, i feel extremely sorry for you, i go through anxiety too, so i just exactly know how bad mental illness can get. Will pray for you, you pray for me too

 

[xounstaer]

i will do so. ty..

 

[Rishad]

great