I am 21 years old i am intersex after trying to have sex ( with ex gf my frist gf for that matter) my world feel apart my mom and dad ddint op to remove one thing or the other when i was born but i was rised as a guy, thou been livening with my grand mom most of life cuase dad passed away when i was like 3 and mom passed away when i was 10 so i lived with my grand mom till she passed away a year ago.
well as of lately i been so confused and upset inside after talking and thinking i party know why i am so confused i have never thought about who or what i am till now i had thought about it but it never fully hit me till now or i been hieing deep down in me and just now uncovering itself anywho as of few nights ago i have a bf now i never dated a guy before ( i was raised a guy so i tend to talk as if i am a guy i am just use to it so it may confuse you or it may not hopeful it wont) so now i am when i talk to him i felt like telling me that i am IS so i did he told me he was ok with it and later that night asked me if i wanted to be his gf. It took me a while to understand what he just said even thou i told him i was IS and for the most part seen as a guy thou sometimes i am seen as a girl by few ( i get called he sometimes and a she sometimes not that i pick who calls me what it just what ppl see me i guess some see a girl when they look at me other see a guy not that i tell one person to see me as a girl and a other a guy they just see me and make a jugement then there what they should call me) so i told him sure i would like to date him. I guess i didn't fully think it would be a issue or bug me or upset or confuse me or whatever it did but it did by him keep saying i am his gf and not bf seeing i am used to bing know and seen as a guy due to growing up as one well that got me started to think what do i want to be his gf or his bf? I know i want to be with him, he so sweet and i just want to be held by him and him not let go and share my pain and joys with him. So with him bing the first guy i am dating and liking him and now feeling confused about my sex / gender then the one i was raised as it is so overwhelming.
So all night i been sitting here crying cause its the only thing i know to do. I am thinking what does my heart say and i do not know what it says thou i know it says love him but as for who / what am I i do not know and that is why i am crying cause i do not know what to do when i do not know i never felt something so real about a person and myself so i cry not cause i am sad or happy is cause is the only thing i know or my heart is letting me to do.
As well if i am gay Bi or what cuase most ppl tell your gay or what ever by your gender of your body but i am both so what does leve with? I mean i can be sining with anyone and not knowing?
Aslo i am trying to find a church that does not look to me as a freak or think i cant be a christian cuase they are not sue if i am gay cuase of the body i was born in. argh
well as of lately i been so confused and upset inside after talking and thinking i party know why i am so confused i have never thought about who or what i am till now i had thought about it but it never fully hit me till now or i been hieing deep down in me and just now uncovering itself anywho as of few nights ago i have a bf now i never dated a guy before ( i was raised a guy so i tend to talk as if i am a guy i am just use to it so it may confuse you or it may not hopeful it wont) so now i am when i talk to him i felt like telling me that i am IS so i did he told me he was ok with it and later that night asked me if i wanted to be his gf. It took me a while to understand what he just said even thou i told him i was IS and for the most part seen as a guy thou sometimes i am seen as a girl by few ( i get called he sometimes and a she sometimes not that i pick who calls me what it just what ppl see me i guess some see a girl when they look at me other see a guy not that i tell one person to see me as a girl and a other a guy they just see me and make a jugement then there what they should call me) so i told him sure i would like to date him. I guess i didn't fully think it would be a issue or bug me or upset or confuse me or whatever it did but it did by him keep saying i am his gf and not bf seeing i am used to bing know and seen as a guy due to growing up as one well that got me started to think what do i want to be his gf or his bf? I know i want to be with him, he so sweet and i just want to be held by him and him not let go and share my pain and joys with him. So with him bing the first guy i am dating and liking him and now feeling confused about my sex / gender then the one i was raised as it is so overwhelming.
So all night i been sitting here crying cause its the only thing i know to do. I am thinking what does my heart say and i do not know what it says thou i know it says love him but as for who / what am I i do not know and that is why i am crying cause i do not know what to do when i do not know i never felt something so real about a person and myself so i cry not cause i am sad or happy is cause is the only thing i know or my heart is letting me to do.
As well if i am gay Bi or what cuase most ppl tell your gay or what ever by your gender of your body but i am both so what does leve with? I mean i can be sining with anyone and not knowing?
Aslo i am trying to find a church that does not look to me as a freak or think i cant be a christian cuase they are not sue if i am gay cuase of the body i was born in. argh
