black and white thoughts and splitting

[The4Rs]

Ok, so you know that with BPD we tend to have black and white thoughts.. like I am bad and he is good. Someone is always all good and the other is all bad. How come i get so angry when God tries to get me to look between the lines???

It absolutely makes me so mad that maybe it can be in the middle! ugh.... How do you all cope with that???

Then the splitting: one day I am right and the next I must be totally wrong about an issue! Not restful unless I am right! go figure!!! b/c if I am wrong then I am "all bad" and I immediately run into black/white thinking. sigh...

Anyway, what are some symptoms that you all are struggling with and how do you cope?

Haven't figured out how to cope with my issues yet! ugh.....

 

[madison1101]

Black and white thinking is such a trip-up for me. I can be on top of it, and then catch myself beating myself up for a mistake...humans do make mistakes don't they? I don't have to be perfect ALL the time, do I? I sometimes believe that lie and get so down on myself for screwing something up, when I did not kill anyone, Yet. LOL

My most frustrating symptom lately is the impulsivity and low frustration tolerance. When I get upset and don't calm myself down right away, I will eat, or want to act out in some harmful way, and I can't cut, which I last did a few weeks ago, nor can I drink, 91 days of sobriety today. Eating is my downfall these days.

 

[sk8Joyful]

Ok, so you know
that with BPD we tend to have black and white thoughts..
Someone is always all good and the other is all bad.
Then the splitting: one day I am right and the next I must be totally wrong about an issue!
Not restful unless I am right!
Haven't figured out how to cope with my issues yet! ugh.....

Personally, plus having helped others assortedly troubled, FREE themselves:

1. What if you were Thinking, of yourself as NOT being limited in your thoughts, more like unlimited...
&
2. What if you were additionally to consider & realize
beyond (any # of emotional disorderings like b&w, splitting, cope), GOD gave you choices... to Change
&
3. What if you were, as a result
of having been successfully taught how to change, you are now truthfully "restful" as you said.
Add to this 1 "ful" so many more, like cheerful, & energyful, & joyful, & peaceful, & thankful, & well, you got the idea

Then, having been converted, most likely you will be so FULL of all blessed emotions,
you will only allow more of such emotions & feelings. Imagine how much fullER your enjoyment can be...
.

 

[madison1101]

Personally, plus having helped others assortedly troubled, FREE themselves:

1. What if you were Thinking, of yourself as NOT being limited in your thoughts, more like unlimited...
&
2. What if you were additionally to consider & realize
beyond (any # of emotional disorderings like b&w, splitting, cope), GOD gave you choices... to Change
&
3. What if you were, as a result
of having been successfully taught how to change, you are now truthfully "restful" as you said.
Add to this 1 "ful" so many more, like cheerful, & energyful, & joyful, & peaceful, & thankful, & well, you got the idea

Then, having been converted, most likely you will be so FULL of all blessed emotions,
you will only allow more of such emotions & feelings. Imagine how much fullER your enjoyment can be...
.

Interesting challenges. I am so grateful for the changes I have made successfully in ridding myself of many of the symptoms. Now, though I do some black and white thinking, I catch myself in it and identify it for what it is.

One of the things that helped me change so much was having a mature Christian woman disciple me, and help me accept myself and make baby steps in changing. One of her challenges to me was to make a daily gratitude list and e-mail it to her every day.

 

[sk8Joyful]

Interesting challenges.
I am so grateful for the changes I have made successfully -
help me accept myself and make baby steps in changing.
One of her challenges to me was to make a daily gratitude list and e-mail it to her every day.

Yup! - both the 'Gratitude-attitude' skill, plus the phenomenal accept myself skill , go
a long way towards being successful Hurrah for you!
and
too "good-natured Humor", useful in reframing like
'borderline personality disorder'.
Come again?! - Oh yeah, that's when you can CHOOSE to personally REorder your personality however helpfully you want.

Really, I've worked in 2 psych-hospitals, where routinely I had fun as a counselor...
putting an unsuspecting doc/shrink into a 'Confusion trance', (shrinks are incredibly easy to that with), and reorder them, LOL

Emotional hangups easily become a thing of the past, once (like you are discovering ), people learn the requisite skills... Because driving your own bus is way more fun!!!
.

 

[madison1101]

Yup! - both the 'Gratitude-attitude' skill, plus the phenomenal accept myself skill , go
a long way towards being successful Hurrah for you!
and
too "good-natured Humor", useful in reframing like
'borderline personality disorder'.
Come again?! - Oh yeah, that's when you can CHOOSE to personally REorder your personality however helpfully you want.

Really, I've worked in 2 psych-hospitals, where routinely I had fun as a counselor...
putting an unsuspecting doc/shrink into a 'Confusion trance', (shrinks are incredibly easy to that with), and reorder them, LOL

Emotional hangups easily become a thing of the past, once (like you are discovering ), people learn the requisite skills... Because driving your own bus is way more fun!!!
.

Worked in a psych hospital myself, and enjoyed speaking to colleagues and shrinks from the point of view of knowing about BPD from personal experience, but they did not know how I got my knowledge and expertise because I chose not to let them know. Having done the borderline thing gave me tons of empathy for all patients because I know the pain of abandonment fear, and the shame and lack of identity that pervades, as I had it. I have also known healing and the total elimination of the symptoms at times, and how freeing that is.

 

[sk8Joyful]

Worked in a psych hospital myself, and
Having done the borderline thing gave me tons of empathy for all patients.
I have also known healing and the total elimination of the symptoms at times, and how freeing that is.

Sure 'empathy', from a sympathy-standpoint, feels comfy - for a while. But for suffering to really STOP!,
a person often needs guidance anchoring... strong-enuf motivations, to truely move elsewhere, and
do something(s), or healed, different...

And a person (formerly emotionally-deprived oneself as only the pits) who's again tasted... what
God/Jesus humanity constantly encourages): LIFE... the Abundant life: soul & mind & body" &
it's this --> Abundance some of us help people discover, & blossom in as their own... chosen reality.

(re mind-diseases??; heck, you ain't got time for that, no more)

of 'draino', now having freed yourself,
you are Free, as God's precious child, living... your fun life on your terms. Freed is Kewl....Continue having fun!!!

 

[madison1101]

Sure 'empathy', from a sympathy-standpoint, feels comfy - for a while. But for suffering to really STOP!,
a person often needs guidance anchoring... strong-enuf motivations, to truely move elsewhere, and
do something(s), or healed, different...

And a person (formerly emotionally-deprived oneself as only the pits) who's again tasted... what
God/Jesus humanity constantly encourages): LIFE... the Abundant life: soul & mind & body" &
it's this --> Abundance some of us help people discover, & blossom in as their own... chosen reality.

(re mind-diseases??; heck, you ain't got time for that, no more)

of 'draino', now having freed yourself,
you are Free, as God's precious child, living... your fun life on your terms. Freed is Kewl....Continue having fun!!!

True empathy is not anything like sympathy. A mental health professional knows the difference and can deliver the former appropriately, in order to develop a therapeutic relationship with the client. I have empathy for many of my clients because I have walked a mile in their mocassins and can relate without getting enmeshed. Sympathy is a person feeling sorry for another person. Empathy is feeling compassion and understanding, but not sorry.

 

[sk8Joyful]

True empathy is not anything like sympathy.
A mental health professional knows the difference and can deliver the former appropriately,
in order to develop a therapeutic relationship with the client. I have empathy for many of my clients
because I have walked a mile in their mocassins and can relate without getting enmeshed.
Sympathy is a person feeling sorry for another person.
Empathy is feeling compassion and understanding, but not sorry.

agreed Both, the empathy can be useful, while not getting enmeshed is understood.
We're saying much the same things, using different words.

re "therapeutic-relationship": How long, in months or years, do you expect client taking?, & what is their usual Outcome?

For each Client's best-interest, it's really important - that they as students are by us taught &
thus learn quickly... how their own life they can change...
(iow, let's prevent! dependence!, on us as guiding teachers).
For instance, people for years stuck in black&white thoughts, of whatever. Now learning
in a few classes, how to get their Desired-outcomes... thus, sign-up for classes matching... their goals, &
this also means they already decided, to succeed & therefore are positive active participants
in their trainings... making for win-win work! PRAISE God!
.

 

[Sarah Louise]

I really have enjoyed reading both conversations there and thanks to our Lord, I am feeling a lot better, when I was originally intending to let out all my stress, feeling (in B&W) that no one cares or loves me and that everyone who I've hurt from being so needy thinks complete (B&W) bad of me-I think I'll just try to use some of those skills instead-many thanks and love in Christ.x

 

[madison1101]

agreed Both, the empathy can be useful, while not getting enmeshed is understood.
We're saying much the same things, using different words.

re "therapeutic-relationship": How long, in months or years, do you expect client taking?, & what is their usual Outcome?

For each Client's best-interest, it's really important - that they as students are by us taught &
thus learn quickly... how their own life they can change...
(iow, let's prevent! dependence!, on us as guiding teachers).
For instance, people for years stuck in black&white thoughts, of whatever. Now learning
in a few classes, how to get their Desired-outcomes... thus, sign-up for classes matching... their goals, &
this also means they already decided, to succeed & therefore are positive active participants
in their trainings... making for win-win work! PRAISE God!
.

Sorry, but I have not been on much the past few months. Serious computer troubles.

You asked about length of the therapeutic relationship. I have been in therapy for over 20 years with the same therapist. I have serious abandonment issues and he has been helping me identify my patterns and change my thinking and behavior,.

It took me years to trust him though. I hade been rejected and abandoned by my parents most of my childhood, and did not trust that my therapist would not also reject me. He has stuck by me, and helped me more than words could say.

 

[Sarabi]

I myself am still trying to figure this one out. Some things that help me best are just - talking