Birth control.

[Gwendolyn]

Well, I think our sex-saturated culture makes the Church's teachings on sexual morality all the more difficult to understand.

We are raised thinking that we should be entitled to having all the sex we want, whenever we want. Church says sex is only allowed within marriage. So then we start thinking that when we get married, we are entitled to having all the sex we want, whenever we want. When the Church says, "No, you can only have sex a couple times a month unless you want a child," people feel outraged. (And that's only if a woman has a normal cycle.)

I guess we can blame the Fall for our crazy sexual desires. But even marriage is barely an outlet for them. The reality of being Catholic is that you don't get to have much sex at all. 12 times a year, maybe 24, if you want to be safe and you aren't looking to have a child immediately.

So either way, you still get to burn with passion in marriage. You still get to struggle with sexual desires the way you struggled with them when you were single. That is the reality. You have to mortify yourself and bring your sex drive into subjection (suppress it) in order to live a chaste life, married or not.

I wish I had a priest I could talk to about my personal situation. One of my priest-friends is heterodox, and the other I have known since I was a young teen, so I don't feel comfortable sharing those things with him. I just don't know what to do or think about any of this (the discussion in general, thinking of marriage and its sacramentality/validity with respect to being open to life and what that means).

 

[The Fire Rises]

I'm starting to wish I'd never stumbled across this thread...

 

[MikeK]

I'm starting to wish I'd never stumbled across this thread...

Why?

 

[The Fire Rises]

I'm just confused. I had no idea this was even a Church teaching until, well, I saw this thread. In fact, the deeper I search, the more rules and regulations there seem to be. Are new Catholics greeted at the door with an official handbook? I never would have known about any of this, and I'm willing to bet that a lot of my Catholic friends don't know many of the things discussed on this forum. But I won't elaborate further, I've already seen where everyone stands on this issue. My best option is to seek out Catholic authors/teachers and continue researching I guess.

 

[cmarie423]

One day at a time cmarie. Bit of advise, better to contact the Church & not seek advise on the internet. I stayed away from this place till I was accepted into the Church. When I came back I about left Church. lol! Witness & all that. God bless you on your journey.

Lol agreed! Thanks so much for always helping me out and being so kind.

 

[Michie]

Lol agreed! Thanks so much for always helping me out and being so kind.

No problem cmarie. This stuff does not come overnight & overload of info & tales of woe can really turn people off. I do hope you still fellowship with us.

 

[Irenaeus]

Thanks Michie.

Cmarie, I apologize for getting into it without concern for where you are. This is your thread and I hope you stick around.

 

[Michie]

I'm just confused. I had no idea this was even a Church teaching until, well, I saw this thread. In fact, the deeper I search, the more rules and regulations there seem to be. Are new Catholics greeted at the door with an official handbook? I never would have known about any of this, and I'm willing to bet that a lot of my Catholic friends don't know many of the things discussed on this forum. But I won't elaborate further, I've already seen where everyone stands on this issue. My best option is to seek out Catholic authors/teachers and continue researching I guess.

Amen to that. I first called a priest after I studied on my own a couple of years. Believe me, it is not all gloom & doom, fear of hell as is portrayed on the internet. You'd be wise to get Church sources. Check out Scott Hahn, (another convert). And contact a priest with any questions & just try to ignore the noise.

 

[Michie]

Thanks Michie.

Cmarie, I apologize for getting into it without concern for where you are. This is your thread and I hope you stick around.

No problem Irenaeus. I just know converts & those thinking of converting are delicate & dealing with so many things on so many different levels. Been there & done that. I still get freaked out reading this place! LOL!

 

[Irenaeus]

Well said, Michie. Read the lives of the Saints, read about Catholic art, our spiritual tradition, etc. Pray the Rosary, develop a deep prayer life. So much more will make sense, because Catholicism is not a set of rules, although it does have rules.

It is a cohesive worldview, and a riot of color, life, and power.

 

[Michie]

Well said, Michie. Read the lives of the Saints, read about Catholic art, our spiritual tradition, etc. Pray the Rosary, develop a deep prayer life. So much more will make sense, because Catholicism is not a set of rules, although it does have rules.

It is a cohesive worldview, and a riot of color, life, and power.

Amen.

The beauty is one of the things the drew me & it goes from there. I needed my milk before I could stomach the meat.

 

[MikeK]

Well said, Michie. Read the lives of the Saints, read about Catholic art, our spiritual tradition, etc. Pray the Rosary, develop a deep prayer life. So much more will make sense, because Catholicism is not a set of rules, although it does have rules.

It is a cohesive worldview, and a riot of color, life, and power.

I was a happy Catholic until I started reading about the Saints, about how we venerate people who elected to be killed instead of allow themselves to be raped, about how certain Saints preached that virtually everyone was going to hell, about some of St Louis DeMontfort's um, interesting, statements about Mary, about the Saints who argued to length about the condition of Mary's hymen after the birth of Jesus and so on. The more I read, the less sense it all made. I'd bail on the whole thing, but I'd hate to be wrong and be tortured forever. I don't really desire heaven, but I'd like very much to avoid hell.

 

[The Fire Rises]

Well that was thoroughly discouraging....

Are all those things part of the Sacred Tradition that is on the same level as the Word of God?

 

[Michie]

Well that was thoroughly discouraging....

Are all those things part of the Sacred Tradition that is on the same level as the Word of God?

No. They are private revelations only meant for them. Usually medieval stuff. God speaks to each one in terms they can understand. I know... the witness sucks here.

 

[MikeK]

Well that was thoroughly discouraging....

Are all those things part of the Sacred Tradition that is on the same level as the Word of God?

Nope. They are odd thoughts of some very good people. Sometimes even Saints were wrong, and the Church acknowledges such.

 

[MikeK]

No. They are private revelations only meant for them. Usually medieval stuff. God speaks to each one in terms they can understand. I know... the witness sucks here.

You say the sweetest things.

Where did you come up with the idea that certain Saint's visions and such were private and meant only for them?

 

[benedictaoo]

Honestly, everyone, there are some overhanging issues in this thread before we can even begin to speak consistently on this.

First: Who is God?
Second: What does he want from us?
Third: What is love?
Fourth: What is marriage?

These are the preambles. Nothing I am going to say, or that the Scriptures or the Church will say, will seem fair if our constant refrain is, "So God is going to throw us into hell if we don't do that?" That is to oversimplify the matter. God has a wider vision of things, and part of that is his mercy. He knows we are sinners. He puts the bar high. A person can break every one of his commandments, but if he is sincerely sorry, he can be forgiven..and that again and again. The Church in Christ's name also puts the bar high, but it also offers his mercy at the same time. We can't ignore either the justice or the mercy of God.

come on Ireneaus, we aren't kids here and you have no clue about what we are talking about. I gave you an example. and that was it. an example and you just ran with it. Okay, the man isn't an atheist but a non practicing BAPTIZED Catholic . so what? You think you can is just walk out on a marriage? that is just bad understanding on your part. Yeah, I know all about the lope holes to the rules. If that is your solution to these issues? Look for the lope hole? Play the lope hole card? then you should not be counseling marriages if that is your solution. Stop talking text book, no body wants to deal with that but a real practical answer.

 

[benedictaoo]

Well, I think our sex-saturated culture makes the Church's teachings on sexual morality all the more difficult to understand.

We are raised thinking that we should be entitled to having all the sex we want, whenever we want. Church says sex is only allowed within marriage. So then we start thinking that when we get married, we are entitled to having all the sex we want, whenever we want. When the Church says, "No, you can only have sex a couple times a month unless you want a child," people feel outraged. (And that's only if a woman has a normal cycle.)

I guess we can blame the Fall for our crazy sexual desires. But even marriage is barely an outlet for them. The reality of being Catholic is that you don't get to have much sex at all. 12 times a year, maybe 24, if you want to be safe and you aren't looking to have a child immediately.

So either way, you still get to burn with passion in marriage. You still get to struggle with sexual desires the way you struggled with them when you were single. That is the reality. You have to mortify yourself and bring your sex drive into subjection (suppress it) in order to live a chaste life, married or not.

I wish I had a priest I could talk to about my personal situation. One of my priest-friends is heterodox, and the other I have known since I was a young teen, so I don't feel comfortable sharing those things with him. I just don't know what to do or think about any of this (the discussion in general, thinking of marriage and its sacramentality/validity with respect to being open to life and what that means).

and then there is the couple who has no such limitations. so the couple who suffers and sacrifices go on to more glory and sainthood and the free ride couple has less glory and a longer purgatory. that's it. that is the teaching.

 

[MikeK]

and then there is the couple who has no such limitations. so the couple who suffers and sacrifices go on to more glory and sainthood and the free ride couple has less glory and a longer purgatory. that's it. that is the teaching.

There's something we don't hear enough about. The long-suffering, narrow door people - especially those who experience difficult lives specifically because they elect to follow Christ earning points toward their purging in this life rather than the next. That is an unpopular bit of theology these days, but I don't know why. Modern Catholics in the West seem unlikely to thank God for their painful, terminal illnesses, their mental disorders that stand between them and their dreams, their hungar pangs and so on.

If you're carrying a heavy cross, don't you dare mention that it's heavy. Others who have never walked in your shoes will start calling you a sucky witness for your honesty. Oh well, one more thing to offer up, yeah?

 

[benedictaoo]

No. They are private revelations only meant for them. Usually medieval stuff. God speaks to each one in terms they can understand. I know... the witness sucks here.

that is not exactly true Michie.