Bipolar Disorder

[Laurel Crowned]

I'm really happy that a Bipolar thread was started. I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder back in 1998 after living a waking nightmare for 12 years. Having been on meds for the past 8 years I've lived through a lot of difficult side effects, continued episodes, and much emotional health and healing. Meds alone didn't do it. Counseling alone didn't do it. Undergirding all of that with prayer, supportive christian friends, and faith in God has been what has made all the difference.

The big thing that I've always stuggled with being Bipolar is feeling like a freak of nature because nobody really understood. That's how I came to CF in the first place because of a thread about Bipolar that was active back in February. It is great to have a thread set aside for people to discuss their issues or to come with concerns.

Yesterday I saw my therapist. When I came to CF is Feb. I was depressed and headed to the eventual suicidal episode I had in March. Now... I've become impowered by God because of the support I've had here on CF. The support and prayers have been unbelieveable. I urge anybody with BP or depression of any form to get help; get close to God; and, if you're able, journal here on CF. That was what started breaking down my walls.

May the God of all comfort meet you in your dark, lonely places.

Peace,
LC

 

[EbonNelumbo]

I am thinking I have bi-polar. Denying it has gone on far too long. I already have PTSD, ED's adn OCD. AS well as extreme panic attacks. My moods tend to be unexplainably happy to suddenly depressed adn more often than not, angry. I tend to be set off by triggers which I have gotten listed and become angry, disoriented, cry, all sorts of fun things. Does this sound like Bi-Polar? I am going to college in teh fall and have been under extreme stress. My whole life right now is stress. Except my lovign bf who has supported me through all this and is on teh edge of losing it himself because of this situation with my moods. I have been severely suicidal...tried once and since I was bulimic I failed. Gladly, but I failed. I used to slash my arms all the time, but that stopped two years ago. I still get angry and often hit things and break things like walls and doors with my hands.

I can go from totally euphoric to raging mad and depressed within a matter of seconds. I am on paxil, 40mg and it helps control it some. I notice a big difference when I skip meds then if I take them. When I skip I react to everything in some major way...over sad or angry and often get really really hyper.

I talk a lot and stuff and get tremendously depressed when i am alone. I dont like being alone. I like being with people.

WHoever is willing...does this sound like it?

What is the process for diagnosing it? I am scared and want to know...

please help...

Thank you

 

[alaurie]

I am thinking I have bi-polar. Denying it has gone on far too long. I already have PTSD, ED's adn OCD. AS well as extreme panic attacks. My moods tend to be unexplainably happy to suddenly depressed adn more often than not, angry. I tend to be set off by triggers which I have gotten listed and become angry, disoriented, cry, all sorts of fun things. Does this sound like Bi-Polar? ....I can go from totally euphoric to raging mad and depressed within a matter of seconds. I am on paxil, 40mg and it helps control it some. I notice a big difference when I skip meds then if I take them. When I skip I react to everything in some major way...over sad or angry and often get really really hyper.

I talk a lot and stuff and get tremendously depressed when i am alone. I dont like being alone. I like being with people.

WHoever is willing...does this sound like it?

What is the process for diagnosing it? I am scared and want to know...

please help...

Thank you

Sounds like it's a good possiblity you have bipolar disorder, but you have to see a psychiatrist to get a diagnosis and for med management. This disorder is called a mental illness, but acutally has a physical cause - a genetic malformation in the messenging center of the brain. There are many different subtypes of bipolar and each patient responds differently to the wide variety of meds available to treat the disorder. If this turns out to be your diagnosis, you will initially have a lot of contact with your healthcare provider while trying to find your correct med "mix" (most BP pts require multiple meds). So though I know it's hard to do at your current point in this journey, be discerning at your first visit with a psychiatrist. You want someone patient and supportive while you're trying the meds and accepting the "bipolar" label if that's a problem for you. For me it wasn't an issue to learn of my diagnosis. It explained many problems I've had since 4 years old, and I felt such relief to finally understand it all.

So some practical advice. Type up a brief, history of your known psychological diagnoses and approaches that have and haven't helped. Make a family tree if there are others in your family with similar problems (including substance abuse which can be related to bipolar). Again, be discerning about whether this doctor is a good match for you. You need support right now.

God bless you! I wish I'd known my diagnosis at your age.

s
Allye

 

[EbonNelumbo]

Thank you Allye!

yeah so I read that trauma can induce this. Is this correct? I was raped and had some severe repercussions after that...Also my dad is a sociopath, my aunt is bipolar, my mom is clinically depressed, and a lot of my cousins are very...er...troubled...as well. I also had a really bad concussion that bled into my brain when I was 14 ( hit in the head with slamming door at church...) I have memory loss from that and developed dyscalculia...(math LD.)

I am having some issues with this label. I guess I shouldnt be too scared, i have been labeled much worse....crazy for one..at least this could be helped.

I know I am not schizophrenic, my step mom is and she hears voices and all sorts of fun things, I dont. My mood is just a rollercoaster 24/7.

I have often wondered about this but I was too afraid to go and see. *Sigh* The truth will set you free huh? Why do I feel so constrained by things have are not my fault *sigh*

I am just having a 'down' day and i hope I might be able to get this treated now. I am a psychology major in college, imagine that? Irony is a wonderous thing. I was planning on being a criminal profiler but I have heard that the FBI will not take people with mood disorders: like bipolar. Also, I am just afraid that people will judge me...it seems like that is what most of my life has been is judgement of some sort or another and I was hoping that by denying this issue I might escape some more....

I am just a college freshman and yet I feel old in too many ways...*sigh*

Thank you for your information and such!

 

[guitar_gurl07]

i have read thru this whole post and have seen many of the symptoms in my self. i have been diagnosed with severe depression and brought up bi polar with my therpist and she said that it wasent even a possibility. now i am scared to talk to her about it again being afraid of rejection. it has gotten worse and i dunno wht to do about it anymore bc we are moving like very soon and she wont be able to change my meds or anything when im gone. does anyone know what i should do?

 

[Salsa_1960]

I'm dx'd with bipolar disorder. (Was dx'd about a year and a half ago). I'm also dx'd with ADHD and epilepsy. I often question the bipolar dx and wonder if my mood swings are related to the other 2 diagnoses. Either way, I take (generic) Tegretol-- which works better for me than the name brand. It is an AED (anti-epilepsy drug) but is also used for bipolar disorder as it is a "mood stabilizer." I've read where it can also be helpful with ADHD, though it is not prescribed for that.

I used to be on Topamax. It is also an AED that is prescribed (off label) as a mood stabilizer (for bipolar disorder), but it lived up to its nickname with me-- "Dopamax." It is known to cause problems with memory, attention, word recall, and cognitive dulling in general. Before Topamax, I was on some other meds that cause similar problems. Perhaps I don't even have ADHD. Maybe my attention problems have been related to my meds.

It's really hard saying. I do know that bipolar disorder and ADHD often coexist. I've also read where 10% of people with epilepsy have bipolar disorder as well.

~Sandy

 

[Laurel Crowned]

i have read thru this whole post and have seen many of the symptoms in my self. i have been diagnosed with severe depression and brought up bi polar with my therpist and she said that it wasent even a possibility. now i am scared to talk to her about it again being afraid of rejection. it has gotten worse and i dunno wht to do about it anymore bc we are moving like very soon and she wont be able to change my meds or anything when im gone. does anyone know what i should do?

Guitar Girl,

Tell your parents you're not comfortable with this therapist. It's important to be comfortable with the person helping you with your mental wellbeing. If you're moving... is it possible that you will be in a place where you could see another therapist? If you're seeing a new doctor you can come in with a written list of all your symptoms and approximate dates and severity. You might even find info online about Bipolar. Print it out and then highlight the things you've experienced.

Most importantly, if your parents are supportive of you get them to advocate for you. You are not in this alone. My prayer for you is that you are not Bipolar though. I wouldn't wish this on anybody. I've come to learn how to deal with it better... but it's still a wild ride.

In the meantime, connecting with supportive people here... journaling... reading things in the Praise Report section might help give you an outlet. Just finding out that I'm not alone in my quest for mental wellness has helped immeasurably.

Peace,
LC

 

[Laurel Crowned]

I joined a support group that my therapist recommended. I'm usually not a group kind o' person... but this group is GREAT. It's about behavior modification by way of changing your thoughts. I totally jives with what I believe as a christian (especially about renewing your mind and taking thoughts captive). It's got a flavor of spiritual warfare without mentioning Satan... but I can take the principals they are laying out and adapt them quite nicely to my mental wellness and spiritual needs.

I hightly recommend that anybody suffering from Bipolar disorder to consider Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). There is a really HUGE book by Dr. David Burns called The Feeling Good Handbook. I highly recommend it. The therapist running the group said that studies have shown that if people suffering from depression had to choose between medication and CBT... the best result are show by those who use CBT alone. The recommendation is to do both... but meds alone can't help you as much because they just mask/control the symptoms. CBT helps you change the thoughts that spiral down into depression.

I've been doing the homework they gave us... and I'm getting a lot out of it.

Peace,
LC

 

[Laurel Crowned]

Hey!

There haven't been many posts in this thread lately. Hopefully that is a good sign. I'm feeling the need to be less focused on myself and more focused on others. Please post here if you have bipolar disorder. If things are going well for you I'd like to lift prayers of thanks and praise to God. If things are going poorly... I want to stand with you in prayer.

Prayer changes the world... so it can definitely change your mind.

Peace of mind to you all...

LC

 

[Christina25]

I have had bipolar for the past 12 years... I go through good times and bad with it, mostly because I am not med compliant as much as I should be. Right now I am about to have my SSDI taken away from me and I am worried I won't be able to get my meds as I need them. Prayers would be appreciated.

 

[Laurel Crowned]

Hello Christina25,

My prayer for you is this:

Heavenly Father? Please meet Christina's need. All I can think is that song where it says:

Blessed be you name when sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be, blessed be Your name.
Blessed be your name on the road marked with suffering,
Though there's pain in the offering, blessed be Your name.

Bridge: You give and take away, You give and take away
My heart will choose to say, "Lord, blessed be Your name.


When there's pain in the offering

All is not well with Christina's medication situation. I pray that you would intervene. For a season you've given the meds. Is that season over? Have you healed her of the bipolar? My big fear of ever trying to see if you've healed me is going off the meds and finding out that you haven't. The dark place one spirals to during a depression is that Valley of the Shadow of Death. Be with her Lord. Walk with her. If it is Your will that her meds be taken away... then I pray that you would receive the glory for having healed her of this life stealing mental illness. If it is not your will that her access to meds be denied... I pray that you would break down the walls that are trying to seperate her from the care she has come to trust and rely upon.

Show her the way Lord. Blessed be Your name.

IJN,
LC

 

[CountryChristian]

Please seek the help of a psychiatrist if you feel this way. This thread cannot help you if you do not know for sure if you are bipolar. The people here are all bipolar, and you are more than welcome if you are bipolar or the friend or family member of someone who is bipolar, but please find out for sure.

I am not saying this to be rude, I am telling you because I am concerned and I am bipolar, and I want you to be on the right track to helping yourself.

 

[Firefly]

I have had bipolar for the past 12 years... I go through good times and bad with it, mostly because I am not med compliant as much as I should be. Right now I am about to have my SSDI taken away from me and I am worried I won't be able to get my meds as I need them. Prayers would be appreciated.

You might try contacting drug companies directly. They
all have to give a certain amount of free drugs per year. Before I got on
disability I got several months worth of medication this way. I don't have
the web-site link anymore, but I think I just did a search for drug companies
free medication, or something like that.

I will keep you in my prayers. I am bipolar and on disability because of it. I
know how hard and lonely it can be.

 

[Carl Carlson]

My oldest brother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when he was 15. He has been repeatedly hospitalized over the last 23 years with a very severe case of bd. This disease has caused him and our family much pain and suffering over the years and it truly is a tradgedy. I wish that he didn't have to deal with the stuff that he goes thru and be blamed for his eccentricly random actions, even while on his medications. It is very tough to witness to him, as when he was in a manic state, he often became very "biblical" and chose to quote scripture at people out of context, and was very zealous and violent.

I don't know why he has it, but I know that God has a plan. I would request that if any of you can pray for him, I would greatly appreciate it. I want him to have better psychological health, but more than that, I want him to be spiritually healthy. He needs to get saved. As many of you probably know, it's difficult to successfully witness to some family. And I'm also sure that many more of you know how difficult Bipolar Disorder can make matters.

I would greatly appreciate prayers in this matter. Thank you for your time and may God bless you all and draw you closer to Him.

 

[Laurel Crowned]

Carl,

My prayer is one of thanks to God that your brother has you in his life. Having BP and being a Christian is hard enough. I can't imagine the hell it must be to have it and not know God. May God give you strength, wisdom, patience, and comfort as you minister to the needs of your brother. I pray for your family that they would know how to comfort your brother w/o enabling him to be dysfunctional. And lastly, I pray that God would meet your brother where he's at during whatever part of his mood cycle he happens to be in at the time.

Peace,
LC

My oldest brother was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when he was 15. He has been repeatedly hospitalized over the last 23 years with a very severe case of bd. This disease has caused him and our family much pain and suffering over the years and it truly is a tradgedy. I wish that he didn't have to deal with the stuff that he goes thru and be blamed for his eccentricly random actions, even while on his medications. It is very tough to witness to him, as when he was in a manic state, he often became very "biblical" and chose to quote scripture at people out of context, and was very zealous and violent.

I don't know why he has it, but I know that God has a plan. I would request that if any of you can pray for him, I would greatly appreciate it. I want him to have better psychological health, but more than that, I want him to be spiritually healthy. He needs to get saved. As many of you probably know, it's difficult to successfully witness to some family. And I'm also sure that many more of you know how difficult Bipolar Disorder can make matters.

I would greatly appreciate prayers in this matter. Thank you for your time and may God bless you all and draw you closer to Him.

 

[TheThirdLink]

I have Biploar Disorder. I've only had it for 6 months, but I'm unmedicated.

I have all the symptoms, such as having trouble sleeping, and irritable mood, and wanting to go on shopping sprees really bad.

I even had my first panic attack two weeks ago.

 

[Carl Carlson]

Thank you Laurel Crown.

God Bless you.

 

[Laurel Crowned]

Hey Carl,

This morning you and your brother were on my heart. My prayer for him is that God is using his current mental state to draw him to his knees before the cross. I pray that he would come to know Jesus and that friend to count on in the darkest of times. I pray for your mom especially... because mothers take this sort of thing hardest.

Whatever he is doing today and wherever he is... may God's love find and envelop him.

May the peace of God reign in his life and yours.


Peace,
LC

 

[alaurie]

I have Biploar Disorder. I've only had it for 6 months, but I'm unmedicated.

I have all the symptoms, such as having trouble sleeping, and irritable mood, and wanting to go on shopping sprees really bad.

I even had my first panic attack two weeks ago.

Please seek treatment ThirdLink. This disorder has a physical cause - the mania patterns are actually detectable by brain scans.

Mania with irritability is called dysphoric - it's the type I usually have and it's horrible. Finding the right med mix has helped so much. Please, again, see a psychiatrist and get treatment- literature says dysphoric hypomania or dysphoric mania carries a high suicide risk. And generally the panic attacks only worsen.

 

[Carl Carlson]

Hey Carl,

This morning you and your brother were on my heart. My prayer for him is that God is using his current mental state to draw him to his knees before the cross. I pray that he would come to know Jesus and that friend to count on in the darkest of times. I pray for your mom especially... because mother's take this sort of thing hardest.

Whatever he is doing today and wherever he is... may God's love find and envelop him.

May the peace of God reign in his life and yours.

Peace,
LC

Thank you Laurel Crowned

I greatly appreciate your prayers, especially for my mother, who has been through so much pain. Thank you for praying for my brother and myself. God bless you!