BF-GF relationships sinful?

[Xalith]

Being molested or raped is not a sin...and it is having sex outside of marriage.

I don't believe I've ever heard of rape or molestation (or any other form of sexual assault) being referred to as "having sex", especially not the unfortunate recipient of such a crime.

That's just... wow. That's way out there.

Obviously if you were forced against your will, then obviously you didn't commit sin in that situation. I'm not sure why that needed to be specified.

That's kinda like saying that someone is not guilty of suicide if they're walking down the street and someone else plugs them in the head with a .45. Obviously.

EDIT: No offense meant, and I'm not trying to argue with you, but that comment just made me double-take and go "... really?"

 

[John Davidson]

It is related to the discussion, as I said in the post that you quoted, many secular (and even some Christians I've heard) people today equate a BF/GF relationship with sex.

The whole question is "Is being in a BF/GF relationship a sin?"

And the answer is: No, unless you are having sex, then yes. Not because it's a BF/GF relationship, but because any sex (including BF/GF sex) outside of wedlock is called Fornication and it is defined as a sin by the Bible.

Exactly, the answer is no. The BF/GF relationship is not sinful. Fornication is sinful.

But fornication is a another issue altogether.

 

[blackribbon]

It isn't making love...but it IS sexual activity...even if it is an assault (hense...it is called a sexual assault). The person is no longer a virgin after being raped...or do you disagree with this point too? I don't think prostitution is making love either (the woman doesn't get any pleasure out of it..it is business and that is it)...but it is sex.

As for your other point, if I walk down a street where there is known open fire happening...then maybe it is suicide. There is something called suicide by proxy...where someone does something like waving a gun at a police officer so that the police are forced to gun them down.

I am simply saying that there are ALWAYS exceptions. And yes, plenty of Christians look at young women who were sexually assaulted, especially if it was repeat assault, as being "tainted"...so don't get all indignant on me. Plenty of fine Christians who want to marry a virgin will bypass a rape victim...for no other reason that she isn't a virgin anymore.

 

[James of Arc]

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[blackribbon]

How would being raped taint their future of being with a Christian wanting a virgin. Sometimes a virgin is not even a virgin.

Define virgin, is it a girl with her flower still intact. What if she broke it on her bicycle seat when she was 13, is she still a virgin or is she no longer available for Christian marriage?

the Hymen does not make or not make someone a virgin...sexual intercourse is the strict definition. The men on this board have made it clear (other posts) that they don't believe a woman who was sexually assaulted (even as a child) is as "pure" as real virgin.

And if a woman has a completely intact hymen, it becomes a medical emergency because you need a way for the menstrual flow to leave the body... I had as a patient a young teen who actually had an intact hymen and was schedule for surgery for a partial hymenectomy because the flow had backed up and was giving her all sorts of medical problems.

 

[James of Arc]

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[blackribbon]

You women and your reproductive organs, just sneeze the word woman parts and you guys can talk about them for days.

Do you guys ever think about them in a cosmic sense? Do you ever think about how they are the doorway to this world from the world we were in before. They are kind of a time tunnel. Maybe on the other side of the universe there is a black hole the size of 3 suns and it is connected to your women reproductive parts.

I talk about women's parts because I am a woman's gyn nurse....and I am somewhat horrified how little people know about how their bodies work.

 

[James of Arc]

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[blackribbon]

You women and your reproductive organs, just sneeze the word woman parts and you guys can talk about them for days.

Do you guys ever think about them in a cosmic sense? Do you ever think about how they are the doorway to this world from the world we were in before. They are kind of a time tunnel. Maybe on the other side of the universe there is a black hole the size of 3 suns and it is connected to your women reproductive parts.

No, women don't worship their parts. Most find them annoying and a bother. We definitely don't name them...well other than names to avoid talking about them. Do you think men talk about their sexuality LESS than women? yeah, right....

 

[James of Arc]

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[blackribbon]

I was actually one of those who would never talk about them...no one knew the hours I spent folded up in a ball suffering from cramps. No one told me that birth control pills would have relieved my pain. No one told me that I was obviously suffering from postpartum depression and instead let me feel guilty for years wondering why I couldn't bond with my son after he was born after I spent so much time trying to be a good mother while I was pregnant. And I had never known that a woman could bleed themselves anemic until I started hanging blood regularly on women who were walking around (and going to work) with RBC that were dangerously low. And no, I don't find that most women think that they are amazing...just a monthly bother and painful inconvenience.

 

[blackribbon]

They are also the reason men have looked down on us for eternity. Thinking that we are weak and incapable of equality. That we are the weak link in society. And that their only purpose is to bring men pleasure. No, we don't celebrate them...we are told to be ashamed. In fact, hysterical comes from the Greek root meaning uterus...so no, it is not something that most of society celebrates.

 

[James of Arc]

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[ReesePiece23]

Okay, how has this thread descended into philosophical debate about a woman's lady garden?

 

[blackribbon]

Okay, how has this thread descended into philosophical debate about a woman's lady garden?

Lady Garden??? okay .... well, the descent is from the question of is dating a sin ... to the sin is premarital sex ... to definition of a "virgin" using the hymen as the deciding factor ... to a correction of this myth .... (see not as far-fetched of a path as you think)...not sure about the time portal though ....

 

[Xalith]

Exactly, the answer is no. The BF/GF relationship is not sinful. Fornication is sinful.

But fornication is a another issue altogether.

Of course it's another issue.

But again, Christians need to be made aware that BF/GF is OK as long as there is no sex. The No Sex being the deciding factor.

That's a very important distinction to make in today's secular world that expects BF/GF couples to have sex. In fact, the world is getting so bad, that casual sex is being promoted more and more, where you don't even need a BF/GF relationship anymore, you just hop in bed with whoever you want and few people think anything bad of it as long as neither are married.

I feel it is important enough of an issue that it bears repeating to make sure there are no misunderstandings about it.

 

[John Davidson]

Of course it's another issue.

But again, Christians need to be made aware that BF/GF is OK as long as there is no sex. The No Sex being the deciding factor.

That's a very important distinction to make in today's secular world that expects BF/GF couples to have sex. In fact, the world is getting so bad, that casual sex is being promoted more and more, where you don't even need a BF/GF relationship anymore, you just hop in bed with whoever you want and few people think anything bad of it as long as neither are married.

I feel it is important enough of an issue that it bears repeating to make sure there are no misunderstandings about it.

If I ever have a girlfriend again I will make abstinence an expectation for our relationship.

So this is not an issue for me.

 

[Xalith]

If I ever have a girlfriend again I will make abstinence an expectation for our relationship.

So this is not an issue for me.

While that is good advice, I was posting it mainly for all Christians, not just you, to see. But I'm glad to hear that you intend to practice abstinence.

Abstinence is a very good litmus test of Lust vs Love -- if she refuses the relationship, it was Lust that attracted her to you and it wouldn't have worked out anyways. If she sticks with you and doesn't even complain, and still wants to marry you, then you know she ain't marrying you for Lust.

 

[John Davidson]

I was posting it mainly for all Christians.

Most Christians do not believe that it is ok to practice fornication.

 

[Xalith]

Most Christians do not believe that it is ok to practice fornication.

I wouldn't be surprised if there were some Christians who are new to the faith who might be deceived and/or mistaken, especially teenagers and young adults who either don't know any better, or think that some of those passages are allegory or something.

Especially here in the Singles forum, there's bound to be lots of late teens-early adults here. Some of them might be pretty new to the faith.

Best to prophesy the truth than to stay silent and assume everybody knows.