Being Replaced

[mama2one]

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[peaceful-forest]

I was recently kicked out of a women's group by the leader. Having been in the group since spring & feeling like I belonged/made friends, I was feeling quite hurt & rejected.. I asked for an explanation & received this "I prayed about it & feel this group is not for you." So she justed used religion to "justify" the fact that she just didn't like me. Then on her FB acct, she posts all the time what a great leader she is & how God is using her. I say Baloney! A good leader doesn't kick someone out of a group that is a church based group for no real reason at all.

I'm sorry this has happened to you. Are you comfortable reaching out to a church leader about this issue?

Your situation reminds me of something that happened to one of my relatives. She's in a Bible study group. The leader of the group is self-centered at times; sometimes she has irrational answers to some stuff. For example, my relative believes that the Bible study group should move their online group to another platform and get away from Facebook. The leader didn't like this and just decided to not talk to her at all this past Sunday.

 

[peaceful-forest]

Have you ever introduced friends to each other who then replaced you with their friendship? How did you deal with the hurt from that if it didn't get addressed?

This hasn't happened to me. What has happened to me is I'm friends with someone and they just stop being friends with me; sometimes I know why and sometimes I don't. It happened quite a bit growing up.

The last time this happened, it was at my current job. I was friends with a guy, then I got romantically involved with him. I ended up finding out he was lying about having a girlfriend. Instead of being honest with me about the situation, he abandoned our friendship and replaced me with another co-worker that he was having an affair with. I had waited for him to be repentant, apologize, and fix the friendship. That never happened. Sometimes I am so out-of-touch with how non-believers act.

 

[lismore]

I asked for an explanation & received this "I prayed about it & feel this group is not for you."

Hello mama2one. Compare that leader's attitude to that of the good shepherd in the bible. That's a poor way they treated you, I hope you get healing balm from the Holy Spirit to heal your hurt. But Romans 8:28, God works for the good in all circumstances. You dodged a bullet there before you wasted more time in such a wolfy group. God Bless

 

[Kees Boer]

Have you ever introduced friends to each other who then replaced you with their friendship? How did you deal with the hurt from that if it didn't get addressed?

That will be a test of love.... Remember Christ was separated from God the Father, in order to bring us close to God the Father. But it can hurt. And I believe it hurt Christ. He said on the cross: "Why have you forsaken Me?"
Many if not all of the churches in Asia Minor (currently Turkey) abandoned Paul... I'm a missionary. I've had this happen to me too...

 

[Gentle Lamb]

There may come a time when you’re able to weather that without much upset. But you need to heal first and put other things in place to lessen the impact of negative experiences on your heart and psyche. Then you’ll be able to brush it off, ignore them or tell them to stop.

Your calling is a factor as is gifting. You’ll feel a natural draw to situations and persons or a burden that’s not your own. It came from God. There may be seasons when you’re a burden bearer that prepare you for greater works. Some connections can be reconciled with time and maturity. Others are set aside for unions God prefers.

Maybe this will be an area of ministry for you later on. Loneliness is rising and resources are needed. Perhaps you’ll create them. Here’s some Christian books you may find edifying.

• The Power of a Woman’s Words
• Speak Life
• War of Words
• Yes Sisters
• Never Unfriended
• Friendish
• A Gentle Answer
• Try Softer
• The Seven Deadly Friendships
• Seven Friendships Every Man Needs (applicable to women as well)

~bella

Thank you so much for the book suggestions, I will look into these. I have experienced that Godly draw and that burden you are talking about. Sometimes the burden/care I felt about a situation were meant to help me get involved in that area. Other times, when it was time for me to move on I felt very overburdened and tired of the situation/person and that was a sign for me to move on. I am willing to do what God wants for me as His will with His grace. Thank you always for the useful advice, God bless you bella

 

[Gentle Lamb]

That will be a test of love.... Remember Christ was separated from God the Father, in order to bring us close to God the Father. But it can hurt. And I believe it hurt Christ. He said on the cross: "Why have you forsaken Me?"
Many if not all of the churches in Asia Minor (currently Turkey) abandoned Paul... I'm a missionary. I've had this happen to me too...

Oh my... That must have been terribly painful to have those churches abandon you! May I ask why there was abandonment, was it something of animosity or did they develop affection elsewhere? Just to better understand where you are coming from. And yes, you're right. Jesus was forsaken and maybe it is a test of love. Maybe God wants to know ultimately who I love most. I've tried with God's help to make the decisions that honor Him. May He continue to give me the grace to do so!

 

[Diamond7]

Have you ever introduced friends to each other who then replaced you with their friendship? How did you deal with the hurt from that if it didn't get addressed?

I helped my friend find a wife. Then his wife and my wife got into a fight of some sort, and we still sometimes text, but we do not attend the same social events anymore. They have their group and we have ours. You just have to deal with what life serves you.

 

[Kees Boer]

Oh my... That must have been terribly painful to have those churches abandon you! May I ask why there was abandonment, was it something of animosity or did they develop affection elsewhere? Just to better understand where you are coming from. And yes, you're right. Jesus was forsaken and maybe it is a test of love. Maybe God wants to know ultimately who I love most. I've tried with God's help to make the decisions that honor Him. May He continue to give me the grace to do so!

I don't remember churches abandoning me, but we've had several times where we had poured out our lives for people, sometimes for years and they would just abandon us and yes, it can hurt. But sometimes later on, we see that it was for the best. And if people have trusted Christ as Savior, we can just entrust them in the hands of God... He isn't done with them yet. Philippians 1:6

 

[Gentle Lamb]

I don't remember churches abandoning me, but we've had several times where we had poured out our lives for people, sometimes for years and they would just abandon us and yes, it can hurt. But sometimes later on, we see that it was for the best. And if people have trusted Christ as Savior, we can just entrust them in the hands of God... He isn't done with them yet. Philippians 1:6

Amen, thank you for that. I will hold to Romans 8:28. God is good. So often we don't understand things that happen to us, but God is working everything out. Thank you and God bless you.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

I helped my friend find a wife. Then his wife and my wife got into a fight of some sort, and we still sometimes text, but we do not attend the same social events anymore. They have their group and we have ours. You just have to deal with what life serves you.

You're right Diamond. That's a tough one. I pray that there will be peace between the wives so your friendship can be restored in Jesus name.

 

[YahuahSaves]

Have you ever introduced friends to each other who then replaced you with their friendship? How did you deal with the hurt from that if it didn't get addressed?

Yes... eventually I had to realise they weren't a true friend anyway and I moved on.
It hurts sometimes, sometimes it's just a case where the two friends click in a way that you and they didn't.
People enter and exit our lives in life and often for a reason, when you find that person you click with, they'll stick around.

 

[Diamond7]

You're right Diamond. That's a tough one. I pray that there will be peace between the wives so your friendship can be restored in Jesus name.

They moved an hour away because of a job that she found. So they have a whole new group of friends that they get together with. When my friend was in the hospital she was quick to get a hold of me to pray for him. He did recover. They are related by marriage. My wife's brother is married to the sister of this girl. Maybe sometimes if there is too much drama it is better to walk away and let people live their own lives.