Being Replaced

[Gentle Lamb]

Have you ever introduced friends to each other who then replaced you with their friendship? How did you deal with the hurt from that if it didn't get addressed?

 

[Lost Witness]

Have you ever introduced friends to each other who then replaced you with their friendship? How did you deal with the hurt from that if it didn't get addressed?

I've been the "bestfriend" that was replaced? but never have i been the one who introduced someone to someone else and then got replaced. I'm sorry to hear that, Gentle lamb. Just keep in MIND the LORD will never do that to you

 

[Gentle Lamb]

I've been the "bestfriend" that was replaced? but never have i been the one who introduced someone to someone else and then got replaced. I'm sorry to hear that, Gentle lamb. Just keep in MIND the LORD will never do that to you

Amen... As I reflect on the situations, I think to myself in one case that God wanted to separate me from one of those friends because that friend was going in a not so Godly direction. I think what bothers me most is that I don't understand the actions or intentions of one party in one of the situations and I'm always trying to understand things so deeply.

 

[Lost Witness]

God wanted to separate me from one of those friends because that friend was going in a not so Godly direction

Hallelujah! It's always Good when you can notice these things. his way of reminding you that he's protecting you.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

Hallelujah! It's always Good when you can notice these things. his way of reminding you that he's protecting you.

Oh yes, very true. Sometimes, when I see a situation going a bad way, I think to myself "You never know what God is protecting you from." God pointed out to me a lot of inconsistencies and unGodly things that didn't make sense with the 2 parties and the friendship itself and that has helped me in my resolve to focus on Christ and let the details go into His capable hands. Some things are so hard to understand! But God is ever faithful, He really does look out for us His sheep. For which I am so grateful.

 

[Lost Witness]

God is ever faithful, He really does look out for us His sheep.

Amen.

 

[Jonaitis]

Have you ever introduced friends to each other who then replaced you with their friendship? How did you deal with the hurt from that if it didn't get addressed?

I learn to accept it. My feelings don't matter if they get in the way of other people's happiness.

Everyone is "replaceable." It is better to tell yourself this before you make friends, then it won't hurt as much.

 

[angelsaroundme]

I remember when an old friend of mine happened to get close to my new friends. I did feel like I'd been replaced in a way. But I've had friendships end or lessen for so many reasons. I guess I've learned to not get as attached. If you're good with people, maybe that's not something to learn... for me it made sense.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

I've definitely learned not to get so attached over the years. Keeping other people's happiness at the forefront is important too. Thanks.

 

[bèlla]

I had two friends that hooked up. I dated one of them in the past and saw their future union in a dream well before it happened. The previous connection swore it wasn’t possible but it happened. I cut them off and my friends followed suit. I wasn’t bothered by the union. The lie was my sticking point.

I’ve experienced the alternative too. Friend 1 introduces me to a friend she thinks I can help. We hit it off and she gets upset and isn’t the only one. Order is restored and they’re still grumbling and jockeying for position. Which doesn’t evoke my favor. Time and maturity bring change and I walk away. Number 2 and I remain connected for a time and eventually part ways.

The past is dead. God rebuilds my connections. I have no regreets.

~bella

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

sorry to hear that @Gentle Lamb , as someone who lost a lot of friends because i was no longer a stoner like i was in high school it always bothered me since i had so many friends and all of a sudden very few. it is true that Jesus will never leave you, and He does call us friend, but that still doesn't make everything better when friends leave you for each other. i personally wouldn't bring it up since they would probably not acknowledge it. Sorry that happened just know there's always hope for meeting new people in the future

 

[Gentle Lamb]

I had two friends that hooked up. I dated one of them in the past and saw their future union in a dream well before it happened. The previous connection swore it wasn’t possible but it happened. I cut them off and my friends followed suit. I wasn’t bothered by the union. The lie was my sticking point.

I’ve experienced the alternative too. Friend 1 introduces me to a friend she thinks I can help. We hit it off and she gets upset and isn’t the only one. Order is restored and they’re still grumbling and jockeying for position. Which doesn’t evoke my favor. Time and maturity bring change and I walk away. Number 2 and I remain connected for a time and eventually part ways.

The past is dead. God rebuilds my connections. I have no regreets.

~bella

Hmm amen. You always provide food for thought. I have to keep moving forward. The Lord is my strength and the fulfillment of all that I need. This one hurt most because the 1 party seemed to push the other in a bad direction. Well, only God can change the situation through prayer and I trust it all into His hands. Praise God.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

sorry to hear that @Gentle Lamb , as someone who lost a lot of friends because i was no longer a stoner like i was in high school it always bothered me since i had so many friends and all of a sudden very few. it is true that Jesus will never leave you, and He does call us friend, but that still doesn't make everything better when friends leave you for each other. i personally wouldn't bring it up since they would probably not acknowledge it. Sorry that happened just know there's always hope for meeting new people in the future

Thank you so much SeventhFisher, this reminds me that Jesus is the ultimate Friend. Sometimes the things we go through are so hard to understand. Sometimes He uses one situation to expose the inconsistencies in another. Well, through all of this I have to trust God. If I come out with stronger faith in God, I think that is the best outcome, even if I don't understand everything, right? Praise God

 

[bèlla]

Hmm amen. You always provide food for thought. I have to keep moving forward. The Lord is my strength and the fulfillment of all that I need. This one hurt most because the 1 party seemed to push the other in a bad direction. Well, only God can change the situation through prayer and I trust it all into His hands. Praise God.

Thank you for the compliment.

Quality matters most. Which means two healthy people who are emotionally stable with a mutual desire for fellowship founded on shared interests and respect. Not codependence, insincerity, loneliness, or armchair therapy. The bond must be equally meaningful and satisfying or success is challenging.

That’s what works for me. My personal life and relationships are drama free and I won’t permit it. Others aren’t bothered by messiness. Be honest with yourself and what you can handle. That’s how boundaries are formed.

~bella

 

[Sabri]

Thank you so much SeventhFisher, this reminds me that Jesus is the ultimate Friend. Sometimes the things we go through are so hard to understand. Sometimes He uses one situation to expose the inconsistencies in another. Well, through all of this I have to trust God. If I come out with stronger faith in God, I think that is the best outcome, even if I don't understand everything, right? Praise God

 

[Sabri]

Praise be to God! Throughout trials and tribulations we know that all things work out for our good. When we go through something it’s a learning lesson for us. Even if it ends in perceived loss of friendships or relationships. It’s God’s way of teaching us something about ourselves. It’s for us to recognize our flaws and 1. Repent 2. Change 3. Not to repeat the same behavior. God loves us and he wants us to grown in maturity.

 

[SeventhFisherofMen]

Praise be to God! Throughout trials and tribulations we know that all things work out for our good. When we go through something it’s a learning lesson for us. Even if it ends in perceived loss of friendships or relationships. It’s God’s way of teaching us something about ourselves. It’s for us to recognize our flaws and 1. Repent 2. Change 3. Not to repeat the same behavior. God loves us and he wants us to grown in maturity.

Thank you what you said about God wants me to grow in maturity i needed to read that most definitely

 

[Gentle Lamb]

Thank you for the compliment.

Quality matters most. Which means two healthy people who are emotionally stable with a mutual desire for fellowship founded on shared interests and respect. Not codependence, insincerity, loneliness, or armchair therapy. The bond must be equally meaningful and satisfying or success is challenging.

That’s what works for me. My personal life and relationships are drama free and I won’t permit it. Others aren’t bothered by messiness. Be honest with yourself and what you can handle. That’s how boundaries are formed.

~bella

Very good, I love this response!!! I was truly getting drama from these 2 parties, and I knew that a continued close friendship with one in particular would invite further drama, especially as this person began to walk contrary to Christ. Knowing that evil communication corrupt good manners according to the Word of God, I made a prayerful choice to separate myself. That's how the 2nd party had more room to come in, and it's been painful, however, I believe God as a sign of repentance of my friend that if that friend repents then our friendship will be restored. Maybe not like before but restored nonetheless. So I am prayerful.

 

[Gentle Lamb]

Praise be to God! Throughout trials and tribulations we know that all things work out for our good. When we go through something it’s a learning lesson for us. Even if it ends in perceived loss of friendships or relationships. It’s God’s way of teaching us something about ourselves. It’s for us to recognize our flaws and 1. Repent 2. Change 3. Not to repeat the same behavior. God loves us and he wants us to grown in maturity.

Amen, yes, I certainly do need to learn. I just went through something else and I have to just take my time and figure out why I made decisions that landed me back in a situation like what I wanted to escape from. Thank God for giving me the grace to get out of it. But another thing is that it's not always about our own personal decisions because I was quite prayerful about everything and followed God's leading first to stay and then to get out of that situation... So I'm learning, but I'm also tired. Am I going through something like Job?

 

[bèlla]

Very good, I love this response!!! I was truly getting drama from these 2 parties, and I knew that a continued close friendship with one in particular would invite further drama, especially as this person began to walk contrary to Christ. Knowing that evil communication corrupt good manners according to the Word of God, I made a prayerful choice to separate myself. That's how the 2nd party had more room to come in, and it's been painful, however, I believe God as a sign of repentance of my friend that if that friend repents then our friendship will be restored. Maybe not like before but restored nonetheless. So I am prayerful.

There may come a time when you’re able to weather that without much upset. But you need to heal first and put other things in place to lessen the impact of negative experiences on your heart and psyche. Then you’ll be able to brush it off, ignore them or tell them to stop.

Your calling is a factor as is gifting. You’ll feel a natural draw to situations and persons or a burden that’s not your own. It came from God. There may be seasons when you’re a burden bearer that prepare you for greater works. Some connections can be reconciled with time and maturity. Others are set aside for unions God prefers.

Maybe this will be an area of ministry for you later on. Loneliness is rising and resources are needed. Perhaps you’ll create them. Here’s some Christian books you may find edifying.

• The Power of a Woman’s Words
• Speak Life
• War of Words
• Yes Sisters
• Never Unfriended
• Friendish
• A Gentle Answer
• Try Softer
• The Seven Deadly Friendships
• Seven Friendships Every Man Needs (applicable to women as well)

~bella