I’ve been doing a bit of thinking lately and something I’ve noticed is that of those that accept Calvinism they do so only after reading “The Institutes of the Christian Religion” or other material communicating Calvinism. How is it that they do not believe in it or any of its major tenants until after reading such material and not before? And why is it that such people were unable to come to any of Calvin’s conclusions until then? Just an observation on my part. I know that this may be asking a lot, especially for this forum, but do try to keep the responses civil. I and everyone else will appreciate it.
To my shame, I've never read "The Institutes of the Christian Religion", only bits and pieces.
Here is the short version of my story....
"I was born with the blessing of Christian parents, and to have been born in an area of 100+ Churches. However, of the 100+ Churches, there might have been one small Reformed Baptist Church, and a (conservative) PCUSA Church (no PCA, OPC, etc in this area). My parents attended Assembly of God and Baptist Churches, and brought me along. I enjoyed Sunday School, and was involved with a Royal Rangers group, Church plays, Parade floats, etc. I “accepted” or acknowledged Christ as Savior at the age of 8 and baptized a couple months or so later.
Over a course of years I grew further and further apart from my commitment to Christ. I had very little knowledge of sin and it’s effects at the age of 8, of what it really felt like to know the depths of being a stone cold sinner. As a teenager I stopped going to Church, I did my own thing, although during that time, I would confess to believe in God (and leave it at that), I no longer humbled myself to or acknowledged His authority over my life.
Many years later, many sins later, at the age of 20, I had reached rock bottom (at this point, I had an illegal drug habit). I knew I needed to change, and I knew I couldn’t do it by myself. I cried out to God, asked Him to forgive, acknowledged I couldn’t change on my own, and asked Him to change me. To make a long story short, God did change me (I stopped doing drugs overnight and have remained that way ever since). The difference was like night and day (God radically changed the desires of my heart and mind).
Three years later, I attended a local (Presbyterian based) college. I was dead set against “once saved always saved” theology. I had never even heard of John Calvin until I attended college (and even when I did it had little to no impact on me, like "ho hum, that's nice"). I really enjoyed the Bible related classes, but I needed to get some of the required courses out of the way. So I hesitantly decided to take an introductory Philosophy course. Going into it, I thought it would be very challenging to my faith, and I would not enjoy it. As it turned out through that course I really gained an appreciation for philosophy in the academic sense, especially in discovering (maybe because it was taught from a Christian perspective) it to be the handmaiden of biblical theology, and useful in not only understanding other worldviews, but defending the Christian worldview. As it turned out, the Philosophy course was one of my favorites. After a couple of years at the college I was having an extremely difficult time with some things and I dropped out.
Up to this point, I had attended a number of different Churches,Church of Godfor a couple years, a non-denominational Pentecostal Church for several years, attended at the college chapel numerous times, and visited a host of other Churches. For reasons unknown, I always struggled with “connecting” with fellow believers in an organized atmosphere, however my experiences help explain why I've attended so many Churches.
Anyway, I started to interact with people online through messageboards like CARM (Christian Apologetics Research Ministry), Theologyweb, and Christian Forums. I had spent years, praying, reading the Scriptures, studying the Scriptures and extra-biblical materials. I used the Christian based messageboards to learn, grow, and challenge my beliefs, even at the cost of being wrong. I resolved if what I believed is true, it shall stand up to the most rigid scrutiny, even the highest criticisms. I knew the challenge would require me to do much studying but that’s the cost of growing. With the cost of growing came pains. I was an adamant defender of Arminianism and my primary methodology of defending the faith was the classical (rational) approach, with some evidential and fideism sprinkled in the mix.
Over the coarse of a year or two, God opened my eyes to problems in my approach to defending the faith. These problems (another long discussion) were creating doubts, and had me considering agnosticism. I seriously started considering the possibility that I had been interpreting the Scriptures through the wrong lens, the wrong system, the wrong presuppositions. Thanks to recommendations and encouragement from the Lord, I began to listen to Dr. Van Til and shortly thereafter Dr. Bahnsen. I prayed about it, and after serious consideration and pouring over the Scriptures, I came to embrace Calvinism, Reformed theology. This was a major major change, and did not come without fear and much struggle, but I could do no other, for God had opened my eyes to truths that were before mine eyes for many years."
The task of Christian apologetics, and that I never could accept all truth as relative, had a major role in my conversion.