The only time it feels like a curse to me is when I go through all this depression, hallucinations...just feeling so empty and alone. Which is pretty much how I've been feeling for quite a while.
That is because you experience this in your fallen reality. In that reality you are devoid of Christ or His goodness. i know i have dwelt in such a state for many years myself.
It is about growing a new life in His loving truth. Sowing the good seed, faith in God's loving truth, instead of the bad, heeding our depression, hallucinations or fears.
It is unbelievable what God's loving truth can do in your heart brother. He can set you free from your sins, make you stronger than depression can bring to bear, and turn your hallucinations into vision from God.
This is what He has done for me, and i know He love to do for you as well.
Not that i have a problem believing God can heal me. Yet God said to me that i was made like i was for reason and that in His truth it is no illness but His gift bestowed on me.
When He said that it seemed absurd, for i was psychotic at the time, but later i began to understand more and more what He was saying. For seeing the wicked gave me opportunity to curse them, which is what i do now whenever i see people display their activity. i curse the wicked doing the hurting and pray for the hurting person. Jesus has really blessed me doing that.
So Jesus baptised me with suffering to teach me the His loving truth. i know this is very true. Why complain about the suffering then? Or think it is wrong? As long as i serve Jesus loving God and neighbour truthfully it is worth everything.
Now i'm cursing the spirits attacking God's people world wide. Truth is a rare commodity, they have such easy access in to peoples hearts, nobody warned them of the dangers, not even a lot the Churches.
So sad to see that.
i know i have to witness to the truth of God's salvation. i have to show people God's healing is spiritual first of all, and not place so much importance on our physical realities but seek His kingdom to come in their hearts. i know we wont inherit that in our flesh and blood anyhow. Can't wait to be rid of this body of decay.
So that is where i'm focussing on. Praying for the hurting. So many people in pain. It is terrible. When i suffer myself then i have more passion in my prayers for those hurting ones then when i'm feeling fine.
Can't wait to see the wicked burn and captivated hurting people freed in His loving truth.
Have a read of this truth i discovered down there cast down by lies. How many tarry there not knowing how to escape their misery?
Blind Faith.
Darkness has been my food,
my companion,
and my jailer,
all day long.
Blind am i to see,
the place i'm at,
stuck in the darkness,
so overwhelming.
Where is my Christ?
Where is His light?
snowed under my own plight.
With no ability to stand!
The darkness is so real!
My heart cast down,
my soul in sorrow,
dining on misery.
Yet am i looking right?
Is my truth not anti-Christ?
Can His love ever be gone?
What lies rule my heart now?
Jesus knows my inner reality,
His truth meets me down here,
coming to the pit of my existence,
letting His Light flood my darkness.
It is for me to trust The Lord,
and the truth of His Word.
Blindly accepting His love,
is for me even down here.
