Bdsm

[Sapphos]

I was interested reading the reasults of Hunterkirks poll on sexuality, to see that 35% of people would not support BDSM etc.

I'm facinated to know why? On what basis could you object to it provided it is entirely consensual?

My boyfriend is a [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], which suits me as I am a sadist. It hurts no one (outside the relationship), it is entirely consunsual, we have a safeword. So how could you object?

N.B. For those who don't know, the word BDSM is a combination of 3 acronyms, BD for Bondage and Discipline, DS for Domination and Submission and SM for Sado Masochistic.

 

[ExistencePrecedesEssence]

I was interested reading the reasults of Hunterkirks poll on sexuality, to see that 35% of people would not support BDSM etc.

I'm facinated to know why? On what basis could you object to it provided it is entirely consensual?

My boyfriend is a [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], which suits me as I am a sadist. It hurts no one (outside the relationship), it is entirely consunsual, we have a safeword. So how could you object?

N.B. For those who don't know, the word BDSM is a combination of 3 acronyms, BD for Bondage and Discipline, DS for Domination and Submission and SM for Sado Masochistic.

More power to you.

 

[Paulos23]

I honestly don't know why, but if I have to guess it has to do with the pain aspect, the power exchange, or both.

Personally I have no problem with people doing it. Some of it freaks me out, but I don't see that as a reason to stop people from having a consensual fun time.

 

[Steezie]

As a [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], I have no problem with BDSM.

 

[Everlasting33]

Both are listed as sexual disorders:

http://allpsych.com/disorders/paraphilias/masochism.html

http://allpsych.com/disorders/paraphilias/sadism.html


Hmm, I always thought that deliberately inducing pain on another human being was wrong....?? I firmly believe these two are disorders and they need to be dealt with as such.

 

[Mskedi]

I don't know the poll you're referencing, so I don't know what the original wording was.

I wouldn't support BDSM in my relationship, but in another relationship I don't see how it would be any of my business (to support it or not to support it). I'd likely not be able to answer such a poll at all.

I have known people in those kinds of relationships -- some had healthy relationships, others had highly disfunctional ones. It sounded like about the same ratio as with more traditional couples.

 

[Steezie]

Both are listed as sexual disorders:

http://allpsych.com/disorders/paraphilias/masochism.html

http://allpsych.com/disorders/paraphilias/sadism.html


Hmm, I always thought that deliberately inducing pain on another human being was wrong....?? I firmly believe these two are disorders and they need to be dealt with as such.

There is a difference between a kink and a paraphillia.

A paraphillia interferes with a person's regular life, a kink does not

 

[Paulos23]

Both are listed as sexual disorders:

http://allpsych.com/disorders/paraphilias/masochism.html

http://allpsych.com/disorders/paraphilias/sadism.html


Hmm, I always thought that deliberately inducing pain on another human being was wrong....?? I firmly believe these two are disorders and they need to be dealt with as such.

You should read the page above them.

http://allpsych.com/disorders/paraphilias/index.html

Paraphilias all have in common distressing and repetitive sexual fantasies, urges, or behaviors. These fantasies, urges, or behaviors must occur for a significant period of time and must interfere with either satisfactory sexual relations or everyday functioning if the diagnosis is to be made. There is also a sense of distress within these individuals. In other words, they typically recognize the symptoms as negatively impacting their life but feel as if they are unable to control them.

In short, it has to very severe to be a mental disorder. Most people that I know in BDSM are not disfunctional in everyday life, they just like to lose control (or take it) now and then. Most of them are very aware of what they are doing and look for signs that their partner is too "into it".

Someone once said this is advance sexual play, and it is. Not everyone can handle it, and everyone has different limits and what they mean by BDSM. Just throwing it a classification of a mental/sexual disorder tells me you don't know what it is. It is way more complicated then that.

 

[Nithavela]

As long as everything is consensual, why the hell not? I can't even think of a bible verse which explicitly commands you to not get off to beating other people with a whip.

Me? I don't think I'm the type for BDSM (other then maybe a light form now and then as a little spice), but I have my other kinks so I don't object. Go ahead and have fun.

 

[Sapphos]

Both are listed as sexual disorders:

http://allpsych.com/disorders/paraphilias/masochism.html

http://allpsych.com/disorders/paraphilias/sadism.html

So I see, though I can't think why . It's true that some cases are caused by trauma of some kind, but in general its just people who like to take/surrender control for a bit (and it's interesting to note that in my experience people tend to be intothe reverse of what you expect - e.g a very loud, dominant person will often be the sub, suggesting that it is just a break from their usual behaviour they're seeking, not some kind of subconcious punishment). I know I don't get peasure out of simply causing pain - but if it's in the right situation, with a willing [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] as a partner, then yes I enjoy it.

Hmm, I always thought that deliberately inducing pain on another human being was wrong....?? I firmly believe these two are disorders and they need to be dealt with as such.

This doesn't really count as pain as you're doing it for your perteners pleasure (we hope. If it's against their will then theirs a problem). Like putting stinging disenfectant on a wound, it hurts but its not a negative thing.
But really it's just a stranger version of dressing up in sexy underwear for your partner.

 

[Bombila]

BDSM doesn't seem to me likely to be more harmful than any other set of fetishes, which is to say, some people don't play well with others regardless of the kind of game, but most do.

Edit: Some people confuse BDSM with spousal abuse, but an abuser needn't have any fetish at all. It's important that people understand that healthy BDSM practice is consensual and careful.

 

[sister_maynard]

If it's entirely consensual for both parties and doesn't result in permanent physical damage then I don't see the problem. It's not what I would want, but others might find it fun, particularly if it's serving as a bit of spice.