I think you need to take another look at the passage. Read it over until you see the context and the actual meaning. The statement by Paul that God loved Jacob and hated Esau was to illustrate his premise that God has chosen some and not others.
To say that God hated Esau because He saw that he would never be a believer is to say that God reacts to what men do and therefore makes Him learn and be changeable.
God DOES react to what men do. When they do differently than He expected, He changes His mind about them—and changes His plans accordingly.
Jonah 3:10. And God saw their works, that they turned from their evil way; and God repented of the evil, that he had said that he would do unto them; and he did it not. (KJV)
Jonah 3:10. When God saw their deeds, that they turned from their wicked way, then God relented concerning the calamity which He had declared He would bring upon them. And He did not do
it. (NASB, 1995)
However, the Hebrew word translated as “repented” in Jonah 3:10 in the KJV does not mean to “relent;” it means to be sorry for one’s thoughts or actions, to be moved with pity and to have compassion upon others, to suffer grief over another’s loss, to repent of one’s thoughts or actions because of one’s compassion, or to change one’s mind because of one’s compassion. To “relent” comes close, but it misses the mark because it carries with it the connotations of giving in, letting up, slackening—connotations that the Hebrew word does not have.
Taking into consideration the context in which the word is used, a more accurate translation is that found in the New Revised Standard Version,
Jonah 3:10. When God saw what they did, how they turned from their evil ways, God changed his mind about the calamity that he had said he would bring upon them; and he did not do it.
God did not give in, let up, or slacken in his punishment; God felt compassion for the people of the city (Nineveh) that He was about to overthrow, and
He changed His mind. He did not overthrow Nineveh.
Please note also the following verses from the NRSV where
the same Hebrew word is being translated,
Genesis 6:6. And the Lord was sorry that he had made humankind on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart.
Exodus 32:12. “Why should the Egyptians say, ‘It was with evil intent that he brought them out to kill them in the mountains, and to consume them from the face of the earth’? Turn from your fierce wrath; change your mind and do not bring disaster on your people.
13. Remember Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, your servants, how you swore to them by your own self, saying to them, ‘I will multiply your descendants like the stars of heaven, and all this land that I have promised I will give to your descendants, and they shall inherit it forever.’”
14. And the Lord changed his mind about the disaster that he planned to bring on his people.
1 Samuel 15:11. “I regret that I made Saul king, for he has turned back from following me, and has not carried out my commands.” Samuel was angry; and he cried out to the Lord all night.
35. Samuel did not see Saul again until the day of his death, but Samuel grieved over Saul. And the Lord was sorry that he had made Saul king over Israel.
Jeremiah 18:7. At one moment I may declare concerning a nation or a kingdom, that I will pluck up and break down and destroy it,
8. but if that nation, concerning which I have spoken, turns from its evil, I will change my mind about the disaster that I intended to bring on it.
9. And at another moment I may declare concerning a nation or a kingdom that I will build and plant it,
10. but if it does evil in my sight, not listening to my voice, then I will change my mind about the good that I had intended to do to it.
Jeremiah 26:3. It may be that they will listen, all of them, and will turn from their evil way, that I may change my mind about the disaster that I intend to bring on them because of their evil doings.
13. Now therefore amend your ways and your doings, and obey the voice of the Lord your God, and the Lord will change his mind about the disaster that he has pronounced against you.
19. Did King Hezekiah of Judah and all Judah actually put him to death? Did he not fear the Lord and entreat the favor of the Lord, and did not the Lord change his mind about the disaster that he had pronounced against them? But we are about to bring great disaster on ourselves!"
Jeremiah 42:10. If you will only remain in this land, then I will build you up and not pull you down; I will plant you, and not pluck you up; for I am sorry for the disaster that I have brought upon you.
Compare the following verse from the NRSV where
the same Hebrew word is being translated,
Ex. 13:17. When Pharaoh let the people go, God did not lead them by way of the land of the Philistines, although that was nearer; for God thought, “If the people face war, they may change their minds and return to Egypt.”
Regarding the great care for the precise translation of Hebrew words in the Old Testament in the RSV, please see the following:
Metzger, Bruce M., Robert C. Dentan, and Walter Harrelson.
The Making of the New Revised Standard Version of The Bible. Grand Rapids: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 1991.
Bruce Metzger was the Chair of the translation committee and before his death was professor emeritus of New Testament at Princeton Theological Seminary; Robert Dentan was a Vice Chair of the translation committee and professor emeritus of Old Testament at General Theological Seminary; and Walter Harrelson was also a Vice Chair of the translation committee and professor emeritus of Hebrew at the Divinity School of Vanderbilt University.