Bad associations

[mellisamouse]

Hello,

I am pretty new at leaving the world behind. I have not been baptised yet, but am still looking for a church etc.

Anyhoo, long story short, the more I study and learn about God, the more I realize there is a person I need to remove from my life.

What I have been doing the last few days is just not answering the phone, but I was wondering if there is a certain loving way we should let people go??

WHat do we say? How do we say it?


For example, would I just say "You have been lying to me about doing drugs so I need to distance myself from you?"

or.. " I know you are going after married men so I want nothing to do with you or that reputation as I have always found that behavior unacceptable, and it bothers me too much"...

"I have asked you repeatedly not to do palm reading or fortune telling at mmy house but you continue to dominate people and isolate them with your "sessions" when ever I have friends over""

I am in the middle of moving and don't want them knowing where I live or my new phone number, I already deleted my facebook etc.... but is there a loving way of removing someone from your life?

 

[Bible2]

Do to them what you would want them to do to you (Matthew 7:12).

 

[mellisamouse]

I don't know what I would want done unto me, beside them not gossiping about me, my standards are not as high as some... so my dilema.

I will not gossip about her, but I just know she has been very bad for my life for the last year.

I have tried to talk to her about God, and she pretends to believe in him too etc, but yet practices these things, so I know to remove her from my life, just not sure if we just cut them off comletely after several warnings, or give them one last explanation of why?

 

[football5680]

Just speak the truth and see what happens. Tell them how you feel about their actions and say you can no longer associate yourself with them because you do not want to be led down the wrong path.

There is really no easy way to do this. If you don't want to confront them then just cut off all communications and hope that it works. If it doesn't then you must speak to them.

 

[insurchoftruth]

We have the choice whom we associate with.

Our friends influence us, and we influence them, when we are together.

The Bible says, that if we go with the wise, we become wise.

That is why, it is important for a christian, to regularly spend time with other christians, in order for us, to influence each other in a positive spiritual way, which will help us, to grow together in God.

Light and darkness can not mix together. We are the children of the Light, which is Jesus.

 

[Peripatetic]

Do to them what you would want them to do to you (Matthew 7:12).

This is always a good starting place.

The rest is my opinion only (not specifically based on scripture). I would probably start by seeing if you can let the distance happen naturally. This has happened to me in a few cases - it's very easy to grow apart without forcing it in some cases. If that is not possible, I'd at least try not to argue specifics too much because they can be countered. Especially when drugs are involved, those arguments can be vey hard to resolve.

Welcome to the forum! I hope you stick around and check out some of the other sub-forums. But know you are always welcome in this one.

 

[parsley]

Most people respond to a statements like you wished you could say, with a cover-up explanation. She lies, so defending herself would be her response. If you wrote her a note that you wanted to end communications, her response would be to fix things. The more you say, the more she will want to say.

I think in this situation that your move is your priority, and that responsibility can be your excuse for not communicating. You are moving on, and had things to do at the time. Then if she seeks you out, you can deal with it later.

The first thing to address, if you see her, is that you can't trust her when she lies. It is hard to maintain a friendship when you don't know what to believe, and when she doesn't respect you enough to tell you the truth.

That's all. That can cover the other bases. Don't let it turn into a drama with too much explanation.

it's very easy to grow apart without forcing it in some cases.

 

[freebiblelessons]

I think that whatever you do it should be covered in love.

I think you should certainly express your concern about these issues, and then trust that the Holy Spirit will lead you and guide you in what to do next.

 

[Harry3142]

mellisamouse-

You may consider yourself to be her friend, but I doubt very much if she has ever seen you in that same way. People who commit the acts you have described are essentially narcissistic, seeing others only as a means of attaining their ends. Tell her plainly that you are no longer on her list of people to be manipulated, because that is exactly what she has been doing with you.

Remember that compassion is not synonymous with sentimentalism, and forgiveness is not synonymous with condonement. People such as she is try to use the argument that Christians are supposed to forgive, when their real intent is not forgiveness, but rather condonement of what they are doing. And condonement is exactly what you cannot practise with her. Instead, she needs to be told firmly that she must 'straighten up and fly right', or else she wll find herself all alone when she needs others the most.

 

[Emmy]

Dear mellisamouse. You had some good advice, and I can only say: " treat, as you would want to be treated. That is God`s advice, and if you are not ready for it, keep asking God to help and advice. God knows the ending of your associates and God will lead you aright. I know it hurts, but be loving and perhaps you can make a difference: To follow God`s Leading is always right.
Keep praying and asking God. I say this with love, mellisamouse.
Greetings from Emmy, your sister in Christ.

 

[asiyreh]

Don't forget to pray. I've found having an active prayer life often makes real world impact. Good advice from the guys above. If all that fails splash her with Holy water lol just a wee joke.

Good luck sister. Sounds like a difficult situation. Sometimes I think it's necessary, if you've tried to give people the gospel and tried to explain your reasons for preventing certain behaviours under your roof, then you know. Cast not your pearls, wipe the sand from your feet. etc...

Our main loyalty, legal obligations, relationship is to God.

 

[Queen of the Highway]

I would stay far away from being judgmental. You never know who someone is. Just because they do things which seem obviously bad. Do you do nothing that is bad.

Talk to them. Express your concerns and fears. Do not take a seat higher then them and just assume you are better.

Look in your heart for your feelings and see how you really feel about them.

Do you love them. Can you live without them. Or is there a struggle. This should concern you........

 

[Alive_Again]

"You have been lying to me about doing drugs...
"I know you are going after married men ...
"I have asked you repeatedly not to do palm reading or fortune telling at mmy house...

.... but is there a loving way of removing someone from your life?

It is good that you realize a companion of fools will find destruction.

When the Lord called me back from my very long backsliding, I didn't go to a church for several weeks. I was walking everyday with a friend of mine I had known for years. We were both messed up with wrecked lives. We liked the same sports teams and enjoyed some of the same recreations. We'd walk for an hour or so every day (I was going to school.). After God came back in my life, I knew from before that light cannot fellowship with darkness.

We'd even talk about God on a couple of occasions and it was lightly regarded and the conversation would turn into something I knew God didn't approve of. (I still pray for this guy, btw and want him to go to Heaven.)

I finally started attending church and after a couple of weeks, I knew it was just a matter of time before I had to deal with my friendship. I had printed off some prayers off of the Internet that broke the enemy's legal right to what I had stepped into. I had had some experience before on breaking spiritual ties.

Anyway, I felt like crud at church one Sunday and went somwhere alone to pray some of these prayers. I prayed a prayer to break ungodly soul ties I had made during the course of my backsliding. I felt great afterwards! I had forgotten about how bad I had felt.

From that day, I never even got a call from ANY of my old friends. To this day, I haven't seen any one of them.

I might have just said, "Look, I want to pursue my beliefs and some of what we say or do displeases God." They likely would have understood. The behaviors you listed are pretty outrageous and it would be quite reasonable to tell them that I can't buddy up with that kind of behavior. God holds us accountable for our deeds and if you don't want to actively pursue the things of God, it would be better if we didn't see each other anymore.

Not to put God in a box. I had a "friendship" with one girl that kind of got me into trouble and my pastor told me to go tell her that I couldn't see her anymore and that I felt in good conscience that God wanted this. She just said, "Ok.".

Our souls are kind of supernatural in a sense in that they connect us to both the physical and spiritual realms. The things we partake of and cleave to, actually affect ours souls. David and Jonathan souls were "knit" together. This was for the good, but it can be the same way for the bad.

You can "break" these "soul ties" with the sword of the spirit in the name of Jesus. Jesus is the restorer of souls (Ps 23). If you want a prayer to do this, I'll PM you one.

It's good that you realize that ungodly influences have consequences. As you learn more about your spirit, soul, and body,you can identify from the scriptures about how to tend the garden that is your heart, and to enable your soul to prosper.