- Nov 17, 2024
- 9
- 11
- 26
- Country
- United States
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Single
I'm not a teenager. I'm turning 27 this year. Every place I go, people seem to have a problem with me. People tell other people they "don't like" or "hate" me and I've never even spoken to them. This happens in completely new environments amongst fresh faces.
There's a hostility in the way they speak about me to one another and they do their best to avoid me. It's very noticeable.
My own family hates me. Some people will do things that annoy me on purpose to get me to go away. I can be completely new and people will talk about me and insult or make fun of me right off the bat. This happened at a hospital I went to. The nurses there were incredibly mean to me, but this is nothing new. I get treated this way every place I go. I'm sure it's because I'm awkward and quiet. Socializing is not my strength. Ever since I was bullied in 7th grade combined with hitting my head on a propane tank and developing bipolar, I isolated and ran from life.
At home, my sisters did the same thing. I was mocked and bullied by them and they made home life extremely uncomfortable, so I stayed in my room.
I always get laughed at when I'm just talking and people seem to like bullying me. I walk into the room and people will glance at one another with smiles on their faces. I know they were talking about me. Many times they do it within earshot to get some kind of reaction out of me. My whole family hates me. They do the glance thing. I often get reffered to as a "loser" and I can't wrap my head around it.
I have many good qualities. I'm a high achiever. They might just be doing it because I look weak and have social anxiety, but that doesn't explain why they hate me so bad.
I had a counselor who invited me to church. There, I felt the treatment was worse. I recognized a familiar look on the faces of some of the people who were staff there. That same mishievious, eye narrowing, smiling look on their faces. I always get that. Like they have something planned out in an effort to humiliate me and some have. Same talking within earshot.
I just don't get it. I thought I would turn out to be someone people liked and who was somewhat popular. Family just about everyone that knows me will say really mean stuff about me. I get called loser a lot! I don't get it. I'm nice, but I guess that's not enough. My counselor always used to tell me, "who cares?" Not in a mean kind of way. She was trying to help me, but I guess that the people that saw me that day in the church rubbed off on her because on a phone call with her, I heard them in the background laughing at a counseling session that was supposed to be between me and my counselor, she was laughing too.
She always used to say the only thing that matters is what god thinks of you and you think of you. It's hard to convince myself that I shouldn't care. Especially after that.
I try to pray to god, but I never feel like he's there. I feel completely alone.
There's a hostility in the way they speak about me to one another and they do their best to avoid me. It's very noticeable.
My own family hates me. Some people will do things that annoy me on purpose to get me to go away. I can be completely new and people will talk about me and insult or make fun of me right off the bat. This happened at a hospital I went to. The nurses there were incredibly mean to me, but this is nothing new. I get treated this way every place I go. I'm sure it's because I'm awkward and quiet. Socializing is not my strength. Ever since I was bullied in 7th grade combined with hitting my head on a propane tank and developing bipolar, I isolated and ran from life.
At home, my sisters did the same thing. I was mocked and bullied by them and they made home life extremely uncomfortable, so I stayed in my room.
I always get laughed at when I'm just talking and people seem to like bullying me. I walk into the room and people will glance at one another with smiles on their faces. I know they were talking about me. Many times they do it within earshot to get some kind of reaction out of me. My whole family hates me. They do the glance thing. I often get reffered to as a "loser" and I can't wrap my head around it.
I have many good qualities. I'm a high achiever. They might just be doing it because I look weak and have social anxiety, but that doesn't explain why they hate me so bad.
I had a counselor who invited me to church. There, I felt the treatment was worse. I recognized a familiar look on the faces of some of the people who were staff there. That same mishievious, eye narrowing, smiling look on their faces. I always get that. Like they have something planned out in an effort to humiliate me and some have. Same talking within earshot.
I just don't get it. I thought I would turn out to be someone people liked and who was somewhat popular. Family just about everyone that knows me will say really mean stuff about me. I get called loser a lot! I don't get it. I'm nice, but I guess that's not enough. My counselor always used to tell me, "who cares?" Not in a mean kind of way. She was trying to help me, but I guess that the people that saw me that day in the church rubbed off on her because on a phone call with her, I heard them in the background laughing at a counseling session that was supposed to be between me and my counselor, she was laughing too.
She always used to say the only thing that matters is what god thinks of you and you think of you. It's hard to convince myself that I shouldn't care. Especially after that.
I try to pray to god, but I never feel like he's there. I feel completely alone.