This should be a happy ending, but it still has some tangles that I'm working through and I'm hoping someone can lend advice.
My wife decided in September 2003 that we should separate. She told me she was no longer in love, she cared for me as a friend, but that was it. Even the fact that we have two preschool daughters didn't matter. That in fact was MY anchor. I'd been in turmoil over her for the past few years but held on believing that we had started a family and needed to see it through.
I went to my parents house where I sat day after day missing my babies. I got a new job on the other side of town which came with a house as part of the salary. Things were looking up for me. Then my wife called crying one night...she had gotten behind in her bills and her lights were off. I told her to pack her stuff and come to my new house. My little girls were estatic. They got to live with me again.
Here's where my problem comes in...my in-laws came to help her move some stuff one evening. My father in law and I were left alone while she went with her mom up to the store. We were in the backyard when he told me, "You KNOW you're lucky don't you?" Of course I am, I got my family back, but I asked what he meant. "You got a second chance with her, I don't think you deserved it."
This floored me!! He has NO idea of what went on. My wife wasn't unfaithful (that she's told me) but she DID do some VERY questionable stuff that made me uncomfortable. She kissed a few of her male friends, even took a week of vacation and instead of staying in town with me and her children she went to another state where she met a male friend of hers from online. She stayed at his house for the week.
Someone tell me I'm not crazy...this would be a SERIOUS infraction in any marriage, yet I'm now looked at like the cause of our separation.
In a fight here recently she made mention that her dad was soooo right about me. I asked if her dad knew what she had done to which her eyes flamed up and she said "NO and he never will. You won't tell him." So this means I get to shoulder the fault of our separation...
My wife decided in September 2003 that we should separate. She told me she was no longer in love, she cared for me as a friend, but that was it. Even the fact that we have two preschool daughters didn't matter. That in fact was MY anchor. I'd been in turmoil over her for the past few years but held on believing that we had started a family and needed to see it through.
I went to my parents house where I sat day after day missing my babies. I got a new job on the other side of town which came with a house as part of the salary. Things were looking up for me. Then my wife called crying one night...she had gotten behind in her bills and her lights were off. I told her to pack her stuff and come to my new house. My little girls were estatic. They got to live with me again.
Here's where my problem comes in...my in-laws came to help her move some stuff one evening. My father in law and I were left alone while she went with her mom up to the store. We were in the backyard when he told me, "You KNOW you're lucky don't you?" Of course I am, I got my family back, but I asked what he meant. "You got a second chance with her, I don't think you deserved it."
This floored me!! He has NO idea of what went on. My wife wasn't unfaithful (that she's told me) but she DID do some VERY questionable stuff that made me uncomfortable. She kissed a few of her male friends, even took a week of vacation and instead of staying in town with me and her children she went to another state where she met a male friend of hers from online. She stayed at his house for the week.
Someone tell me I'm not crazy...this would be a SERIOUS infraction in any marriage, yet I'm now looked at like the cause of our separation.
In a fight here recently she made mention that her dad was soooo right about me. I asked if her dad knew what she had done to which her eyes flamed up and she said "NO and he never will. You won't tell him." So this means I get to shoulder the fault of our separation...