Australia has moved!

[Occams Barber]

The last time anyone checked on Australia was way back in 1994. Suspecting it had gone missing, scientists recently went looking for Oz and discovered it had moved to a new position north of where it used to be. Not only that, Australia is cruising northward at a rate of knots making it the Fastest Continent on Earth.

The change is so dramatic that Global Positioning Systems (GPS or Satnav) will need to be recalibrated to reflect the continent’s new address. (This GPS anomaly may help to explain why so many Australians get lost on the way home these days. Cruise ships, heading for Melbourne, are also reported to be regularly bumping into Tasmania.)

The reason for all this chaos? – it’s the Tectonics! Australia sits on the Australian Continental Plate which is sliding north at the rate of 7 centimetres (2.75 inches) a year making it the fastest moving Continental Plate. Since 1994 the continent has moved one and a half metres (5 feet) north crashing into the Pacific Plate which is heading west at a mind blowing 11 centimetres (4.3 inches) a year.

Since GPS is keyed to latitude and longitude, this continental drift has introduced inaccuracies well in excess of a metre in global positioning instruments. Recalibration will be based on Australia’s expected location in 2020.


http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-07-...de-coordinates-out-by-1-5m-scientists/7666858

 

[AV1611VET]

Sounds creepy!

 

[Occams Barber]

Sounds creepy!

Not really.
I'm just looking at it as a free trip to Bali.
We'll get there (eventually).

 

[Shemjaza]

Not really.
I'm just looking at it as a free trip to Bali.
We'll get there (eventually).

I think Bali is just part of the wave of continent as we hurtle north.

I guess we clean all those islands up before we splatter somewhere into main land Asia.

 

[Goonie]

I think Bali is just part of the wave of continent as we hurtle north.

I guess we clean all those islands up before we splatter somewhere into main land Asia.

So Australia's emigrating to mainland Asia, I hope Asian countries have a suitable island to intern all those illegal Australian immigrants.

 

[Shemjaza]

So Australia's emigrating to mainland Asia, I hope Asian countries have a suitable island to intern all those illegal Australian immigrants.

They should probably tow our continent back to Antarctica where it came from.

It's a revolting historical irony that Australia is now prone to deporting people to horrid island prisons and forgetting about them.

 

[lesliedellow]

This GPS anomaly may help to explain why so many Australians get lost on the way home these days.

It could have more to do with the blood rushing to their heads. Hanging off of the bottom of the world like that.

 

[Occams Barber]

It could have more to do with the blood rushing to their heads. Hanging off of the bottom of the world like that.

Careful Mr Dellow – you are sailing dangerously close to blatant UpsideDownism, aka Northern Hemicentrism. We may be hanging on by our toes but this is a small price to pay for living in a country with penguins and a Big Red Rock In The Middle.

 

[AV1611VET]

Careful Mr Dellow – you are sailing dangerously close to blatant UpsideDownism, aka Northern Hemicentrism. We may be hanging on by our toes but this is a small price to pay for living in a country with penguins and a Big Red Rock In The Middle.

Christians took the blame for a shift in the magnetic poles around AD 57.

Acts 17:6 And when they found them not, they drew Jason and certain brethren unto the rulers of the city, crying, These that have turned the world upside down are come hither also;

 

[Occams Barber]

Christians took the blame for a shift in the magnetic poles around AD 57.

Acts 17:6 And when they found them not, they drew Jason and certain brethren unto the rulers of the city, crying, These that have turned the world upside down are come hither also;

My sources tell me that the last magnetic reversal was between 400,000 and 600,000 years ago but I'm not going to quibble over small details.
Thank you for pointing out that your good book says that up shall be down and down shall be up. Very encouraging. I'd be very grateful if you could get all your Christian friends to ask 'you know who' if he can arrange the next reversal as soon as possible? Once we (the Southern Hemisphere) are on top of the earth I suspect that Patagonia or New Zealand will be pushing to be the next world hegemony. (I'm joking about New Zealand )

Thanks in anticipation.

 

[AV1611VET]

I'd be very grateful if you could get all your Christian friends to ask 'you know who' if he can arrange the next reversal as soon as possible?

Are you kidding???

And start that persecution all over???

The Antichrist is already going to nail Christians to the wall for other things.

 

[lesliedellow]

I'd be very grateful if you could get all your Christian friends to ask 'you know who' if he can arrange the next reversal as soon as possible?

http://www.extremetech.com/extreme/...n-our-lifetime-but-dont-worry-we-should-be-ok

 

[Occams Barber]

Are you kidding???

And start that persecution all over???

The Antichrist is already going to nail Christians to the wall for other things.

You have my personal assurance that I am not kidding although I admit I'm unsure about what it is I'm not kidding about.

I don't know how the Antichrist entered the conversation but I can assure you that it is highly unlikely that he/she or it will be a Patagonian in spite of the Patagonian tendency towards world domination. Never fear. Anyone wearing a woolly hat with ear flaps is no relative of Beelzebub (or whoever). I must warn you however that a Patagonian takeover may well involve the strategic use of potatoes and sheep in ways I'd prefer not to discuss.

 

[Occams Barber]

http://www.extremetech.com/extreme/...n-our-lifetime-but-dont-worry-we-should-be-ok

Thank you for this most interesting article. In spite of AVs reluctance to take up the reversal issue with the boss, on behalf we folk in the bottom of the world, I can now rest easy in the knowledge that a reversal is imminent.

I have briefed Patagonia.
OB

 

[Michael]

The last time anyone checked on Australia was way back in 1994. Suspecting it had gone missing, scientists recently went looking for Oz and discovered it had moved to a new position north of where it used to be. Not only that, Australia is cruising northward at a rate of knots making it the Fastest Continent on Earth.

Australians will do just about anything to get some additional distance from New Zealand.

 

[Occams Barber]

Australians will do just about anything to get some additional distance from New Zealand.

Agreed - but there is a small problem. Australia has to share its tectonic plate with New Zealand (Bloody typical! You'd think they'd get their own plate). The Land of the Long White Clowns is hanging on to the southern edge of the Australian plate for grim death and being dragged along on our shirt tails.

I may have the solution. I live on the east coast of The Great Southern Land. If I can get a long enough stick I may just be able to reach out across the water and give NZ a gentle poke to push it off the edge. I think its worth the attempt.
(Translation to New Zealandish: Git a long stack. Poke, poke. Fill of tha idge. Bugger. Wirth a troy ehh bru!)

 

[lesliedellow]

(Translation to New Zealandish: Git a long stack. Poke, poke. Fill of tha idge. Bugger. Wirth a troy ehh bru!)

Excuse me, but I will do the racist comments around here, if you don't mind.

 

[Michael]

Agreed - but there is a small problem. Australia has to share its tectonic plate with New Zealand (Bloody typical! You'd think they'd get their own plate). The Land of the Long White Clowns is hanging on to the southern edge of the Australian plate for grim death and being dragged along on our shirt tails.

I may have the solution. I live on the east coast of The Great Southern Land. If I can get a long enough stick I may just be able to reach out across the water and give NZ a gentle poke to push it off the edge. I think its worth the attempt.
(Translation to New Zealandish: Git a long stack. Poke, poke. Fill of tha idge. Bugger. Wirth a troy ehh bru!)

LOL!

 

[Occams Barber]

Excuse me, but I will do the racist comments around here, if you don't mind.

One man's racism is another man's linguistic appreciation LeslieDellow.

I am a long time student of the ancestry and development of the English Language going back to Proto-Indo European. In my considerable opinion New Zealandish is close to meeting the criteria of mutual unintelligibility which will define it as a language apart from the Mother Tongue. I eagerly await the day when 'Inzidash' declares linguistic independence, weighs anchor and casts off from the maternal sprachbund to sail the Southern Seas in search of its very own vowels and consonants.

"Haere ra Inzid. Fare thee well New Zealand!"

 

[Oafman]

What impact will this relocation have on WA's famous Point Zero? All roads lead there.

I'm glad they confirmed that the number in the centre applies to both miles and kilometres. Saves us all having to convert the number, based on our preferred unit of distance.