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attempt at returning to god

eccl12.13

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hey all,

i grew up in a christian home and was raised reading the bible and memorizing bible verses and participating in bible studies, yatta, yatta. my parents required my siblings and i to keep a daily checklist of these spiritual activities so i have pretty much entered adulthood checking off my daily boxes but having no true interest in my heart for the things of god.

i love god and want to have a relationship with him. so don't get me wrong. i'm just saying that up to now (i'm 23) i've been going through the motions but have not had the feelings or desires backing them up. i moved out of my parents this past spring and have taken quite a lengthy haitus from spirituality. i.e. not doing my daily required reading, memorizing and studying but just trying to let my heart get hungry first.

now it's been about five months and i really miss god and i really want to be close to him. but i feel like every time i try to get excited about going to church or get up extra early before work to read some of the bible, etc. i get this feeling that god isn't trying to let me get close to him. it's just weird to explain, but i feel like he's not responding to my efforts to return to him.

i feel worse right now, spiritually, actually acting in reponse to the hunger i feel in my heart than i did living at my parents when i was going through all the motions but didn't have a right heart attitude. i just feel so confused. in my head it seems that god would really be excited when one of his long lost kids actually feels hungry for him in their heart and actually WANTS to be close to him rather than them just going through motions and checking of a box so as to not get a talking to from their parents.

it's just so ridiculous. it just makes me want to give up all together and forget about this god stuff.

any thoughts?
 

Onlythingavailable

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I think God wants more from you. He doesn't want you to just do the same things you did at home. Don't get me wrong though, doing those things are important. He wants a personal relationship with you. He wants you to think of Him all the time, not just when you're doing something on the "list." Pray to God in the morning and thank Him for the morning. Continue to talk to and think of Him during the day, when you're at work, when you're at home and so on. Make Him part of your everyday life.

I know this is vague, but I'm not sure there's any handbook on how to approach God. Just don't let how you feel get in the way. God is there waiting and loving you. He wants you to come closer, no matter what you feel.

Praying for you.
 
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hizlamb

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Well eccl...Ive been where yer at so many times..'forget about the God stuff'..discouragement, that deafening silence,..that alone can make one turn..

Exactly what satan desires

A lil about me...I was given up for adoption as a baby..placed also inna christian home, grew up knowing God and loving him..as a child. My daddy and I were close, I had 2 brothers that I know loved me but never got a chance to know. One thing after another satan stole. My brother Scott, died when he was 6 (I was 3) got hit by a car, a year later Dale, died from electrocution on the high school swim team, he was only 14. Then, on my 8th birthday, my daddy died. Working on the church at that.

I dont speak any of this for pity ..I say it becuz I had such a hard hard time 'feeling' to get close to a God who I obviously didnt understand. I depised churches ..one took my daddy after all..

Then I thought Id cure it all by finding my biological parents...I did. Didnt go well..to this day my birth dad is a active member of the coven of Molech..

Feeling? Whatcha want me to feel huh...jeez, I seen no signs of God..let alone feeling anything for Him. I met someone tho..who to this day I never want to lose. Whose brought me to realizing God didnt do these things to me, and somewhere in it all was all MY good. (Figure that one out..lol)

Anyway..Ive been empty of feeling, Ive been confused. But Ive also been hungry.

Take your time gurl. Be honest with God. He IS listening..look around you..maybe theres something yer not seeing that if you dont get caught up in 'giving up' will touch yer heart? It is hard.

Just be honest with God. And keep doing so. He already knows anyway :) Once I was honest with God, I felt a lil better and things opened up for me ...

Im sorry if this is long and maybe even a lil off topic? I felt it to post..who knows

God bless
Cheri
 
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S

Sheva

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hey all,

i grew up in a christian home and was raised reading the bible and memorizing bible verses and participating in bible studies, yatta, yatta. my parents required my siblings and i to keep a daily checklist of these spiritual activities so i have pretty much entered adulthood checking off my daily boxes but having no true interest in my heart for the things of god.

i love god and want to have a relationship with him. so don't get me wrong. i'm just saying that up to now (i'm 23) i've been going through the motions but have not had the feelings or desires backing them up. i moved out of my parents this past spring and have taken quite a lengthy haitus from spirituality. i.e. not doing my daily required reading, memorizing and studying but just trying to let my heart get hungry first.

now it's been about five months and i really miss god and i really want to be close to him. but i feel like every time i try to get excited about going to church or get up extra early before work to read some of the bible, etc. i get this feeling that god isn't trying to let me get close to him. it's just weird to explain, but i feel like he's not responding to my efforts to return to him.

i feel worse right now, spiritually, actually acting in reponse to the hunger i feel in my heart than i did living at my parents when i was going through all the motions but didn't have a right heart attitude. i just feel so confused. in my head it seems that god would really be excited when one of his long lost kids actually feels hungry for him in their heart and actually WANTS to be close to him rather than them just going through motions and checking of a box so as to not get a talking to from their parents.

it's just so ridiculous. it just makes me want to give up all together and forget about this god stuff.

any thoughts?
Don’t base your love for God on feelings. Emotions can be deceiving.

Even Christians are affected by sin. The devil, the world and your own sinful flesh are always trying to convince you that Christianity is “just so ridiculous.” I know you would like to see God, to be able to know that He is their just like with the friends that you can see. But we live the Christian life by faith. Hebrews 11:1 says “faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” So keep reading the Bible, that is where you will find God. Keep praying.

Don’t look within your heart for assurance of God. The Bible is your foundation. It’s nothing in your heart that saves you. Only Jesus’ death and resurrection saves.
 
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Alive again

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Don’t base your love for God on feelings. Emotions can be deceiving.

Even Christians are affected by sin. The devil, the world and your own sinful flesh are always trying to convince you that Christianity is “just so ridiculous.” I know you would like to see God, to be able to know that He is their just like with the friends that you can see. But we live the Christian life by faith. Hebrews 11:1 says “faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” So keep reading the Bible, that is where you will find God. Keep praying.

Don’t look within your heart for assurance of God. The Bible is your foundation. It’s nothing in your heart that saves you. Only Jesus’ death and resurrection saves.
I would agree that feelings can be decieving and are a tool that Satan uses to try to discourage and confuse us. So do not base your faith on feelings, or it will be a roller coaster ride. Feelings are a gift from God, but must be checked out with the truth of the Bible. Feel like God is not there or not interested or not listening, Then review the truth. GOD promises to never leave or forsake you, God love dyou enough to send His Son to die for you, etc. This is the only way to fight this confusion, with God's Word. this is exactly what Jesus did when tempted by the devil in the desert.

When you truly want to know God, and I believe you do. Then just sit down every day and pray for God, the Holy Spirit to show you God and to show you yourself, Then read about 10-12 verses of John. And continue thru the Gospel of John in this way. It is the Holy Spirit's job to reveal spiritual things and God promises to do that if you ask. But be prepared to listen and wait. God also promises to give us wisdom when we ask, or to hear and answer prayer that is according to His will. If you want the Bible References for these verses, just pm me. I'll be happy to send them, but you might have more fun digging them up again for yourself.

May God the Holy Spirit bless you with every spiritual blessing during this phase of your seeking Him for yourself.
 
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Alive again

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yeah, could you give me those verses?

[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] Since I am in CHRIST, by the grace of GOD...[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I have been justified -completely forgiven and[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]made righteous[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]. [/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]( Romans 5:1)[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I died with CHRIST and died to the power of sin's[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]rule over my life[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]. [/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]( Romans 6: 1- 6)[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I am free forever from condemnation[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]( Romans 8:1)[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I have been placed into CHRIST by GOD's doing.[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] ( 1 Cor. 1:30)[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I have received the SPIRIT of GOD into my life that[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I might know the things freely given to me by GOD.[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]( 1 Cor. 2:12)[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I have been given the mind of CHRIST.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]( 1 Cor. 2:16 )[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I have been bought with a price; I am not my[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]own ; I belong to GOD.[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]( 1 Cor. 6: 19,20 )[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I have been established, anointed and sealed by GOD[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]in CHRIST, and I have been given the HOLY SPIRIT[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]as a pledge guaranteeing my inheritance to come.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]( 2 Cor. 1:21 Ephes. 1: 13, 14 )[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] Since I have died, I no longer live for myself, but for CHRIST.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]( 2 Cor. 5: 15,16 )[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I have been made righteous.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]( 2 Cor. 5: 21 )[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I have been [/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]crucified[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] with CHRIST and it is no longer I who[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]live, but CHRIST lives in me. The life I am now living is[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]CHRIST's life.[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]( Galat. 2:20 )[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I have been blessed with [/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]every[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] spiritual blessing.[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]( Ephes. 1: 3)[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I was chosen in CHRIST before the foundation of the world[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]to be holy and without blame before him.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]( Ephes. 1:4 )[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I was predestined--determined by GOD--to be adopted as[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]GOD's son.[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]( Ephes. 1: 5 )[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I have been redeemed and forgiven, and I am a recipient[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]of His lavish grace.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I have been made alive together with CHRIST.[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]( Ephes.2: 5)[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I have been [/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]raised[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] up and seated with CHRIST in heaven.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]( Ephes. 2:6 )[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I have direct access to GOD through the SPIRIT.[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] (Ephes. 2: 18)[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I may approach GOD with boldness, freedom and confidence.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]( Ephes. 3:12 )[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I have been rescued from the domain of Satan's rule and[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]transferred to the kingdom of CHRIST.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]( Coloss. 1:113 )[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I have been redeemed and forgiven of a all my sins. The[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]debt against me has been cancelled.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]( Coloss. 1:14 )[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] CHRIST Himself is in me.[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]( Coloss. 1:27 )[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I am firmly rooted in CHRIST and now being built in Him.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco](Coloss. 2:7 )[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I have been spiritually circumcised . My old unregenerate nature[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] has been removed.[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]( Coloss. 3: 1- 4 )[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I have been made complete in CHR[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]IST.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco](Coloss. 2:1)[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I have been buried , risen and made alive with CHRIST.[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco](Coloss. 2: 12, 13 )[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I have died with CHRIST and I have been raise[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]d[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] up with CHRIST.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] My life is now hidden with CHRIST in GOD. CHRIST is now my life.[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]( Coloss. 3: 1 - 4 )[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I have been given a spirit of power, love and [/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]self discipline[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco].[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] ( 2 Timothy 1:7 )[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I have been saved and set apart according to GOD'S doing[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco].[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]( 2Timothy 1:9 Titus 3:5)[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] Because I am sanctified and am one with the sanctifier, HE is not ashamed to call[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]me brother[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco].[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helve tic a,Monaco]( Hebrews 2:11)[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I have the right to become boldly before the throne of GOD to find mercy and grace[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]in time of need. [/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]( Hebrews 4:16)[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco] I have been given exceedingly great and precious promises by GOD by which I am[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]a partaker of GOD'S divine nature [/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]( 2 Peter 1:4).

[/FONT]
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]These are just o few of many verses that help us to understand how God sees us as Christians. There are many other ve4rses that deal with other issues in life, like fear, worry, peace, joy, answers to prayer etc. I would be happy to give references to those. Just pm meanytime.
[/FONT][FONT=Arial,Helvetica,Monaco]
[/FONT]
 
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tapero

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Dear Eccl12:13,

Hi, I think you are in a spiritual battle. I remember when I first came to Christ when I prayed there seemed to be a hanging sword at my neck. Looking back at that I realize now that it was satan attempting to scare me away from God. It didn't work.

I suppose I'm thinking that as you are reading the word, and wanting to get back closer to God that satan is trying to rob you of that. God would always want you to be in his word, and to keep growing closer. I wish we got feelings from God but we don't always get them.

Add singing to your excellent habits. I wish I had your habits of reading like you do. It's just that satan doesn't want you to walk closely with God.

God bless you, Love, Tapero
 
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WordForUs

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hey all,

i grew up in a christian home and was raised reading the bible and memorizing bible verses and participating in bible studies, yatta, yatta. my parents required my siblings and i to keep a daily checklist of these spiritual activities so i have pretty much entered adulthood checking off my daily boxes but having no true interest in my heart for the things of god.

i love god and want to have a relationship with him. so don't get me wrong. i'm just saying that up to now (i'm 23) i've been going through the motions but have not had the feelings or desires backing them up. i moved out of my parents this past spring and have taken quite a lengthy haitus from spirituality. i.e. not doing my daily required reading, memorizing and studying but just trying to let my heart get hungry first.

now it's been about five months and i really miss god and i really want to be close to him. but i feel like every time i try to get excited about going to church or get up extra early before work to read some of the bible, etc. i get this feeling that god isn't trying to let me get close to him. it's just weird to explain, but i feel like he's not responding to my efforts to return to him.

i feel worse right now, spiritually, actually acting in reponse to the hunger i feel in my heart than i did living at my parents when i was going through all the motions but didn't have a right heart attitude. i just feel so confused. in my head it seems that god would really be excited when one of his long lost kids actually feels hungry for him in their heart and actually WANTS to be close to him rather than them just going through motions and checking of a box so as to not get a talking to from their parents.

it's just so ridiculous. it just makes me want to give up all together and forget about this god stuff.

any thoughts?
You are on the right way :)
But you need to look in your heart i have the feeling that you will discover a big mess there.
So if you alow me to give my advice then it will be to take your time and look inside yourself.
Don't hurry on God.
He is Ever there :)
And He is there and waiting for you even if you don't do these exersizes 40-60 years.
Take your time and look in yourself.
Stare in yourself until you are able to see what's realy in you that keeps you away from God :)
I sugest not looking for a specific thing but just understanding what's going on with you at this moment.

God bless you !
You will have quick success :)
 
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