Atheist girlfriend

[christian6000]

I am orthodox Christian 19 years old
who has been brought up in a strict Orthodox family and i am very faithful Christian.I believe the God and i go often to church.I hate the Christians who has relashionship with atheists but i have an atheist girlfriend who i love so much and she love me so much too.She is student in my college and she is 19 years old too.She said me thath she don't belive the God.but as God's children, I believe we are all equal in His eyes, even if all of us may not accept that he exists or that Christ is our Savior.
She is atheist, so we RARELY agree on religious issues. She COMPLETELY respects my religious views, and has never insulted me on my faith (except for when he's just teasing me - we like to tease each other on our faith differences). Also, I like discussing with him the difference of our beliefs because it has made me more confident about myself and my background. So these things aren't really a problem.

I have a two-part problem:

We had pre-marital sexual relations (which I know is a sin). As an atheist, she has no problem with pre-marital sex, and as things got more serious, I suddenly found myself not a virgin anymore. I don't regret that I had sex with her because I do love her, but I do feel bad that I have sinned (that I regret). I feel confused, especially since she always asks how sex could be a sin if we both love each other and aren't hurting anyone. What's worse is that though I know that it's a sin, I still feel tempted to do it again. I want to do it again, but I don't want to sin. This has caused many sleepless nights and worry.

But the worse part of this problem is what she said. She said that in a relationship, he believes in The Triangular Theory of Love, which states that a solid romantic relationship must have intimacy, passion, and commitment. She believes that passion includes having sex. I told her that I understand her belief in this, but I don't understand why he needs this to be fulfilled before marriage. She said that before marriage, she wanted to be sure that the marriage would work (she would be able to tell through this solid triangle). And when I told her that I might not be able to have sex with her again, I asked if she would stay with me. She said that loves me and will stay with me but told me that during my depth liked sex and does not see that it is evil

I love this girl so much, and I really don't want our relationship to end.Pleas pray for me....

 

[christian6000]

I forgot the purpose of mentioning that my girlfriend became an atheist before two years ago was catholic Christian before became atheist.

 

[ReesePiece23]

True love never fails.

 

[Zoii]

You seem to really like her. She seems nice too. Your lucky.... thats my only comment coz if u hang onto that..the rest will work out.

 

[greenguzzi]

It seems to me that the Triangular Theory of Love is pretty close to marriage. Tell her that if she wants you to accept her culture of "triangle", then she should accept your culture of "marriage".
Seems fair to me.

 

[dude99]

I will pray for you and your girlfriend. I am afraid you having sex outside with her does damage your witness to her as a Christian.

 

[timewerx]

As long as she doesn't want you to worship her (make her #1) then it'll probably work out.

I'm a non-denominational which means I'm probably better off with an Atheist as well. My Christians beliefs would drive most Christians crazy anyhow and would probably hate me for it.

 

[All4Christ]

To all our non-Orthodox guests, please take a look at the Statement of Purpose for The Ancient Way. It is a different situation for Orthodox Christians than many Christian denominations.

To the OP, welcome to TAW! I'm heading to work, but will pray for you and respond soon!

 

[Kenny'sID]

I could go into how you aren't supposed to yolk yourself with non believers, which is true. Then I could say.."See what happens when you do that?" So it would also be true that yoking yourself to her has already cost you your virginity, led to guilt and whatever else, but...you already know all that, and honestly, it just doesn't seem like the right thing to dwell on at a time like this.

So let's look at some up sides...she's willing to stay without the sex, at least for now, and not only does that say something for here, if she (and you) can deal with that until you can both decide if you want to get married, then that's one problem solved.

Then there is marrying someone who is not a Christian, and yes it's a big no no for obvious reasons, as well as the fact it's biblical, but a couple questions are, are you willing to work through the issues this will accuse in your life? And of course hanging out for a time will help you see if you can do that or not, then there is the biggie, is it actually sin to marry and atheist as a Christian? I'm not convinced it is. It's definitely seriously good advice, but at times like this we are in love, and feel we can get past anything, "who cares about their advice" happens a lot.

Either way, might want to give it more time than usual (whatever "usual" is) to see if it's going to work out before you make the big move. Hopefully, with time, any blinders love sometimes leaves us with, might come off so you can see clearly.

 

[Anhelyna]

First of all I'm going to repeat All4Christ's plea for our Non-Orthodox guests to read the SoP http://www.christianforums.com/thre...astern-orthodox-statement-of-purpose.7859393/

Yes , before anyone else notices and says something, I'm non Orthodox too and I feel very very strongly that guests should respect the guidelines .

My feeling here, is that our very new member here - Christian6000 and his girlfriend, need to go and talk seriously with Christian6000's priest.

They both need to understand the Church's teaching on premarital sex - putting it bluntly it's wrong and is sinful and is something that Christian6000 needs to deal with, with the help of his priest. His girlfriend needs to understand this and needs to understand that boundaries must be set. I would encourage her to learn more about the Orthodox Church so she can understand how they have transgressed.

To our guests here please be understanding of this and respect our guidelines. You are very welcome to post in fellowship but you should not attempt to give advice which goes against the teaching of the Church.

 

[Zoii]

Im sorry I blundered in here and shouldnt have commented.

 

[All4Christ]

Im sorry I blundered in here and shouldnt have commented.

It's easy to do that with the latest format of the forum You are more than welcome to post in fellowship!

We just have some teachings of the church which differ from some other groups, and we want to give him sound advice that will help with his situation as an Orthodox Christian. It's an important topic!

 

[Anhelyna]

Zoii - thank you for your understanding - we do appreciate it.

Even I , though I'm an honorary Member of TAW [ having been posting here since I came to CF many years ago ], am very reticent about giving advice to Orthodox Members , where it involves Church teachings.

 

[ArmyMatt]

pray for her, remember that your prayers God can use to bring her around. I would also suggest bringing her to Church and let her talk with your priest. there are a lot of assumptions about Orthodoxy out there.

Lord have mercy!

 

[Kenny'sID]

To our guests here please be understanding of this and respect our guidelines. You are very welcome to post in fellowship but you should not attempt to give advice which goes against the teaching of the Church.

Thanks for your understanding and reminder to us who didn't pick up on where we are.

Would it be allowed for me to remind the OP where he posted, and if that is what he wished to do, fine, some of us can just go away, but if he wants a full range of advice, he may want to post on another thread?

Is a statement like that frowned upon? It's not intended to disrespect but only to help the OP, as with so low a post count, he may not understand the rules.

 

[ArmyMatt]

Would it be allowed for me to remind the OP where he posted, and if that is what he wished to do, fine, some of us can just go away, but if he wants a full range of advice, he may want to post on another thread?

I am sure that'd be fine, but the OP is an Orthodox Christian, so I am sure he is aware of where he posted.

 

[All4Christ]

Thanks for your understanding and reminder to us who didn't pick up on where we are.

Would it be allowed for me to remind the OP where he posted, and if that is what he wished to do, fine, some of us can just go away, but if he wants a full range of advice, he may want to post on another thread?

Is a statement like that frowned upon? It's not intended to disrespect but only to help the OP, as with so low a post count, he may not understand the rules.

I agree with ArmyMatt. There are some pieces of advice that are not accepted by the Orthodox Church that have been suggested here. Certainly the OP can post wherever he wants, but as the OP is Orthodox, I believe he chose the right place since it is advice that is specific to Orthodoxy.

 

[KWCrazy]

Deleted.

 

[All4Christ]

Hi @christian0000. As I said earlier, welcome to The Ancient Way and also to Christian Forums!

Based on your post, I'm sure you are aware that a relationship with an atheist is certainly an issue in the Orthodox Church. Are you aware of the requirements for marriage in the Orthodox Church? While your girlfriend was Catholic, marriage would have been acceptable, but we are not permitted to be married in the Orthodox Church if our boyfriend or girlfriend respectively is not a baptized active Christian. I know from experience that this creates a difficult dilemma for those of us who love someone who isn't Orthodox!

I strongly recommend both of you talking to a priest. Most importantly, pray about this. God will guide you and will be there for you. It isn't an easy situation, but it is worth following God!

 

[~Anastasia~]

POSTERS please note - this is an Orthodox congregational area and the poster created this thread to receive responses related to our faith. I know it's easy to wander into an area from "new" threads and not realize where you are posting. He did ask for advice generally elsewhere on CF if you wish to reply there, but please do not confuse the issues here. Thank you so much.