Atheism and sexual modesty

[Blackmarch]

Yeah, right. Female immodesty is the cause of males' sex offenses.

Didn't say it was the sole factor but just one factor, another probable spinoff is that use of women in as sex objects in magazines would also diminish.

 

[Mr. QWERTY]

Have sex when you want, with whom you want (assuming they agree), as often as you want. If that is never, or rarely, or under whatever circumstances you decide, then that is ok.

It is pretty well documented that most people lie about sex. When you go off to university, there will be lots of people who are very experienced and promiscuoius, but lots of people who share your viewpoints. This is not terribly obvious from high school, but certainly true in college.

Find somebody you like, with whom you feel comfortable with, and when you are both ready and interested, go for it. Technique will not matter if you are truly involved with the person. You will learn what works, and what you and your partner want, as time goes on.

 

[Lycaenidae]

That's kind of faulty logic. I'm an atheist, and painting my body pink and running around in public doesn't hurt people, so I should be doing it more often.

The things we do in our atheist club are supposed to be secret. Way to ruin it.

 

[Lycaenidae]

Sometimes people tell me that because I'm an atheist and becuase sex doesnt hurt people, that I should be doing it more often.

However, I don't like the idea of sleeping with strangers. I don't want to knock up a girl, or get an STD. I would only like to have sex within a trustful relationship.

I'm not dating anyone seriously now though, and am quite lonely But anyway, I fear that when I head off to college next year my attitude may change in one direction or the other. I just worry that I will not be so great in bed because of my lack of experience.

What do you think? Am I an idiot for being a male atheist with respect for sexual modesty?

My brother lost his virginity at church camp when he was in high school. I kid you not. So don't let those dirty theists tell you how to live your life

 

[Scell]

In my experience, great sex is more a matter of chemistry than technique.

Bingo! Agree 100%

Don't worry about inexperience...and when the time comes, just enjoy "getting" the experience If your sexual partner isn't understanding in that respect, maybe she isn't someone you should be with. But that's your call of course...there is more to a good relationship than sex. Great sex does help tho

 

[Eudaimonist]

What do you think? Am I an idiot for being a male atheist with respect for sexual modesty?

Actually, I think you are a wiser atheist than many.

 

[Lanakila]

It just means that you have an obligation to have better sex than theists.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Illuminatus again.

 

[bumblebee62331]

With most of my peers having lost their virginity, it is a bit disheartening to not really have had sex before...

There are so many people who have had sex and wish they had waited. I know it sounds cliched, but it's true. One of my friends had sex with her boyfriend simply because she was 18 and didn't want to be a virgin anymore. Now, when she looks back on it, she wishes she had waited, because she found a wonderful boyfriend who really loves her and she wishes she could have given that gift of her virginity to him one day.

 

[MidnightBlue]

There are so many people who have had sex and wish they had waited. I know it sounds cliched, but it's true. One of my friends had sex with her boyfriend simply because she was 18 and didn't want to be a virgin anymore. Now, when she looks back on it, she wishes she had waited, because she found a wonderful boyfriend who really loves her and she wishes she could have given that gift of her virginity to him one day.

He'd probably rather have the box it came in, anyway.

 

[Jacob4Jesus]

All good advice from everyone (pretty much). You sound like a good kid. Do what feels right to you, not what feels right to others.

 

[Governed Apology Exploded]

Sorry if this is off topic, but do any atheists here think having casual sex with lots of people is immoral (assuming protection is used), or just personally not emotionally satisfying?

 

[Lanakila]

Sorry if this is off topic, but do any atheists here think having casual sex with lots of people is immoral (assuming protection is used), or just personally not emotionally satisfying?

I don't think it's immoral, unless you are in a monogomous relationship and are cheating on your significant other. But I not only don't think its emotionally satisfying, but I don't believe it would be physically satisfying either. Being with someone who cares about you and your needs, and desires is a major part of the physical enjoyment, imo. Our largest sexual organ is our brain after all.

 

[Eudaimonist]

Sorry if this is off topic, but do any atheists here think having casual sex with lots of people is immoral

Well... yes... sort of. I think that taking sex so casually is shallow and hedonistic, and is something that people should aspire to rise above. People, morally, should aspire to personal growth, which I believe involves a view of sex that has more depth and substance, e.g. seeing sex as something special that ought to take place in the context of a romantic relationship.

It's not that I think that anyone is necessarily a "bad person" for having casual sex -- I'm not saying that anyone should feel guilty about it, as if you were intentionally trying to hurt others -- but the attitude of hedonism is not really something good for you, IMV.

 

[Ledifni]

What do you think? Am I an idiot for being a male atheist with respect for sexual modesty?

No, of course not. There's no reason you should have sex if you don't want to; the point of sexual freedom is the choice to have sex or not, depending on your personal goals and concerns. The only time abstinence is a problem is when you try to make everybody who didn't make the same choice feel guilty about their sex lives.

 

[Ledifni]

Basically, I'm of the opinion that if you aren't completely comfortable with the idea of having sex with someone, then by no means should you do so.

Aww, don't tell him that or he'll never have sex. I doubt there's any man in the world who wasn't at least a little nervous his first time. My first time, we'd been dating for almost a year and I loved her very much... but I was nervous as ****. And no, it didn't go especially well, though of course it gets better pretty fast.

 

[Ledifni]

It just means that you have an obligation to have better sex than theists.

True dat

 

[Ledifni]

Sorry if this is off topic, but do any atheists here think having casual sex with lots of people is immoral (assuming protection is used), or just personally not emotionally satisfying?

Because of the dangers of STDs, I would not do that. If I did (that is, if STDs were not a concern for some reason), it would not be for emotional satisfaction but purely for recreation, like playing tennis. No, I don't think it's immoral, but I think there's a distinct difference between sex for fun and sex for love (by the way, I strongly disagree with the common misconception that recreational sex is actually emotional sex in denial -- I know from personal experience that sex can be purely fun and have nothing to do with emotion, though perhaps not everyone is the same in that respect).

 

[Mr. QWERTY]

Sorry if this is off topic, but do any atheists here think having casual sex with lots of people is immoral (assuming protection is used), or just personally not emotionally satisfying?

I do not think that it is immoral.

Now, it is not behavior that I participate in, and many people that I know who do this type of thing have issues of some sort.

Either insecurity (which they mask by getting the 'approval' of another sexual partner), commitment phobic (they avoid relationships by having lots of random sex), or they are just plain nuts.

It seems to me that sex, as in many things is best in moderation. Not too much, not too little.

 

[Lycaenidae]

Sorry if this is off topic, but do any atheists here think having casual sex with lots of people is immoral (assuming protection is used), or just personally not emotionally satisfying?

Of course it isn't immoral. Nor do I believe there is anything here for us to "rise above" or whatever. Why would this type of behavior be any more shallow than any other type of behavior?

 

[Governed Apology Exploded]

Well... yes... sort of. I think that taking sex so casually is shallow and hedonistic, and is something that people should aspire to rise above. People, morally, should aspire to personal growth, which I believe involves a view of sex that has more depth and substance, e.g. seeing sex as something special that ought to take place in the context of a romantic relationship.

It's not that I think that anyone is necessarily a "bad person" for having casual sex -- I'm not saying that anyone should feel guilty about it, as if you were intentionally trying to hurt others -- but the attitude of hedonism is not really something good for you, IMV.

What do you mean by hedonism? If you mean trying to be happy (find pleasure) is unhealthy then I don't understand. What is the point to life if not to be happy?

I assume you mean physical pleasure. Getting physical pleasure is not necessarily mutually exclusive to emotional happiness. Having casual sex yet eventually finding the right person and getting into a relationship is an example. Sure, the sex isn't as special in the relationship, but it's not important anyway, the person your with is what you care about. For me, having casual sex would not diminish the value of sex within a relationship at all.

Besides, for some people a hedonistic lifestyle isn't unhealthy. They're perfectly happy living that way. You aren't, and so you don't do that. I don't consider sex special, yet I feel there's more to life than having sex or watching TV and buying things.