Atheism and sexual modesty

[Eudaimonist]

What do you mean by hedonism? If you mean trying to be happy (find pleasure) is unhealthy then I don't understand. What is the point to life if not to be happy?

While I agree that the feeling of happiness is pleasurable, I don't equate happiness with a sum of pleasures. A life may include many pleasures, and yet be an unhappy one.

Getting physical pleasure is not necessarily mutually exclusive to emotional happiness. Having casual sex yet eventually finding the right person and getting into a relationship is an example.

If getting into a relationship was your intent all along, it's not really casual sex, IMV. I see nothing wrong with serial monogamy.

If it isn't, then I don't personally think it is such a good idea to live so accidentally and aimlessly. I suppose aimless wandering might lead one to a good value, but is that really the best attitude and approach to have... regarding anything in life?

I'll agree with you that casual sex and the finding of a relationship are not mutually exclusive, but I'm really talking more about the need for a more integrated view of life that maintains the full context.

Besides, for some people a hedonistic lifestyle isn't unhealthy. They're perfectly happy living that way.

I don't agree. They may not be aware that there is anything lacking from their lives, but I think there is plenty of room for improvement.

I realize that my views on sex are very counter-cultural. I don't expect much agreement, but the topic post raised the issue, and there you are.

 

[Governed Apology Exploded]

When I say pleasure I mean both emotional and physical. Are there any other kinds? I would consider writing for enjoyment or going for a walk emotional pleasure.

If getting into a relationship was your intent all along, it's not really casual sex, IMV. I see nothing wrong with serial monogamy.

If it isn't, then I don't personally think it is such a good idea to live so accidentally and aimlessly. I suppose aimless wandering might lead one to a good value, but is that really the best attitude and approach to have... regarding anything in life?

Getting into a relationship for most people is very random. Personally I would like to be friends with somebody for a while before I try to initiate one, because then I know whether they want to be in one equally or not. I think the idea of "dating" a complete stranger several times and then getting into a relationship is pretty aimless. With my way, having casual sex while you don't see anybody you'd want to be with at the moment isn't mutually exclusive with looking for a relationship. I think making somebody think you want a relationship just to have sex is wrong.

I don't agree. They may not be aware that there is anything lacking from their lives, but I think there is plenty of room for improvement.

I realize that my views on sex are very counter-cultural. I don't expect much agreement, but the topic post raised the issue, and there you are.

I agree that there's more to life than having lots of sex and buying things, but I don't see why this means sex should be special.

Sorry if I'm bothering you, I just want to understand your point of view.

 

[b*unique]

INAPERFECTWORLD,

well your not alone, as a atheist-unitarian, the idea of caual sex is a total turn off for me, I have only had one sexual partner in my 33 years, my exwife.
I dont plan on haveing sex unless its with a commited monogamous gilrfriend,

my christian wife on the other hand, gave up our 15 year monogamous relationship so she could ego trip on her massive sex appeal and pick up any guy/girl she wanted to without effort. Last week I got her mail from Planned Parenthood, the results of her STD tests. Who knows how many sex partners she has had since she left 3 months ago, but I know she is out at the bars all the time and never comes home at night, While her voice mail is full of messages from guys telling her how much they miss her.

oh
nooo
are you ok?
i remember you left the forum to spend more time wih her,much in love
oh that is so sad


well i am in similar situation,not that my soon ex husband physicaly cheated,just wants someone else,and cheated emotionaly for over a year

same as you,i will wait till i marry again,the right person this time hopefuly

and i made my choice when atheist

i personaly think people make those choices ,and yes,maybe religion is an influence,but there is always a loophole ,if the person wants to find one

good luck for you guys ,i hope you will find the righ one,a soulmate and great sex comes with love,care and comfort..rather than notches on ones bed

 

[meebs]

Sometimes people tell me that because I'm an atheist and becuase sex doesnt hurt people, that I should be doing it more often.

However, I don't like the idea of sleeping with strangers. I don't want to knock up a girl, or get an STD. I would only like to have sex within a trustful relationship.

I'm not dating anyone seriously now though, and am quite lonely But anyway, I fear that when I head off to college next year my attitude may change in one direction or the other. I just worry that I will not be so great in bed because of my lack of experience.

What do you think? Am I an idiot for being a male atheist with respect for sexual modesty?

NO!!!! you sound great.

you can gain a good sex life even with one person at a time in a longer relationship than with loads.

and if it doesnt work out with that person you take your time and move on. nothing wrong with that.

erm...i admit ive only ever slept with one person (in a long term relationship) and i am nervous too. for when i sleep with the next person whoever that may be..

And well...sometimes college can change a person a little bit but only if they want that change (which confuses me - i dont think im any good but still dont want to change who i am).

others may have better advice but thats my two cents worth.