Atheism and sexual modesty

[In A Perfect World]

Sometimes people tell me that because I'm an atheist and becuase sex doesnt hurt people, that I should be doing it more often.

However, I don't like the idea of sleeping with strangers. I don't want to knock up a girl, or get an STD. I would only like to have sex within a trustful relationship.

I'm not dating anyone seriously now though, and am quite lonely But anyway, I fear that when I head off to college next year my attitude may change in one direction or the other. I just worry that I will not be so great in bed because of my lack of experience.

What do you think? Am I an idiot for being a male atheist with respect for sexual modesty?

 

[Illuminatus]

Sometimes people tell me that because I'm an atheist and becuase sex doesnt hurt people, that I should be doing it more often.

That's kind of faulty logic. I'm an atheist, and painting my body pink and running around in public doesn't hurt people, so I should be doing it more often.

However, I don't like the idea of sleeping with strangers. I don't want to knock up a girl, or get an STD. I would only like to have sex within a trustful relationship.

Well, that makes two of us.

But anyway, I fear that when I head off to college next year my attitude may change in one direction or the other.

My attitude didn't, but I'm not you. (You should be so lucky.)

I just worry that I will not be so great in bed because of my lack of experience.

The trick is to find someone else who's the same. Mutual embarassment is a good foundation for a relationship.

What do you think? Am I an idiot for being a male atheist with respect for sexual modesty?

Well, if you are, we can have a club.

 

[FSTDT]

What do you think? Am I an idiot for being a male atheist with respect for sexual modesty?

Dont you know if you're an atheist then you have to be having tons of anonymous sex with strangers regardless of their sanitation, gender, or species? I mean, it says so right in the handy dandy Atheist Handbook, page 11 "atheists cannot be modest, not for one second. Fornication and wanton immorality is your way of saying 'Charles Darwin, you're my hero!'".

Just for that, you're out of the club and your subscription to the Dirty Heathen magazine is non-renewable. *shakes finger at you shamefully*



[obligatory smilie here]

 

[In A Perfect World]

Dont you know if you're an atheist then you have to be having tons of anonymous sex with strangers regardless of their sanitation, gender, or species? I mean, it says so right in the handy dandy Atheist Handbook, page 11 "atheists cannot be modest, not for one second. Fornication and wanton immorality is your way of saying 'Charles Darwin, you're my hero!'".

Just for that, you're out of the club and your subscription to the Dirty Heathen magazine is non-renewable. *shakes finger at you shamefully*



[obligatory smilie here]

Well people have said that I have less of a reason to wait until marriage for sex. I am inclined to agree a little.

Although the most promiscuous people I know are all Christian. I doubt that has to do with anything though, since I only know a couple atheists.

With most of my peers having lost their virginity, it is a bit disheartening to not really have had sex before...

 

[tocis]

What do you think? Am I an idiot for being a male atheist with respect for sexual modesty?

No. Sex should be something that all people involved can enjoy. If one is of the opinion that the purely physical sex act isn't much fun without the emotional attachments, then why do it?
In other words, if you desire to have sex only if there is love involved, then this is how you should do it. Just my $0.02 you know.

 

[In A Perfect World]

No. Sex should be something that all people involved can enjoy. If one is of the opinion that the purely physical sex act isn't much fun without the emotional attachments, then why do it?
In other words, if you desire to have sex only if there is love involved, then this is how you should do it. Just my $0.02 you know.

I think there should alteast be decent chemistry and contact. Nothing turns me off more than hearing a girl has had a one-night stand. It's not like I think "*** ADULTERER!", I just think it's a turn off and I know I'd get upset over that if we got married.... Now if a girl loved another man and was having sex with him, I wouldn't mind, becuase it shows me she values it enough to only have sex with people she's in a relationship with, and she's good wife potential.

 

[Ryal Kane]

While sex may not be viewed as 'sin' by us atheists it would be foolish to deny that there are serious emotion and physical conotations to it.
Whether or not this is logical is a question for another day.

Fear of STD's and pregnancy are quite reasonable but don't be paranoid about it. Just be careful.

I never had a girlfriend until university (and haven't had one since ). If you're being open about things then lack of experience shouldn't be a problem.

 

[TooCurious]

The fact that you're an atheist doesn't mean that you have any sort of obligation to have more sex than theists. It just means that you have to decide for yourself what you value and on what terms, rather than appealing to a divine authority to supply or influence your answers.

If you honestly feel that sex is something that ought to be reserved for someone that you love or care deeply about, then you're completely entitled to act on that feeling. Personally, I think that's great, and that there should be more guys like you out there. If you want to be responsible about sex and not run the risk of contracting an STD or getting a girl pregnant, then I applaud your responsibility and caution.

If you're concerned that lack of sexual experience now will negatively affect your performance down the road, then do some reading. In all honestly, there are some really good books out there about technique--not necessarily exotic Kama Sutra type stuff either, but how to handle the basics well. And there's probably a wealth of similar information online. To be perfectly honest, though, the important thing isn't experience, but communication. Every person is different, and enjoys different things. When you do find someone with whom you want to be intimate, just make sure that you're comfortable asking her what she likes, and that she's comfortable telling you-- and vice versa.

Basically, I'm of the opinion that if you aren't completely comfortable with the idea of having sex with someone, then by no means should you do so.

 

[Seeking...]

I waited until I was 25 and in a committed relationship - that was the right choice for me based upon my personal beliefs.

You have to make the same decision for yourself. You can't let others determine your values. Instead of thinking about it from the perspective of lacking reasons to not have sex - evaluate what reasons you think you do have for having sex and determine if they are valid in terms of the possible consequences.

 

[CSMR]

Sometimes people tell me that because I'm an atheist and becuase sex doesnt hurt people, that I should be doing it more often.

Atheists are not exempt from sexual morality, nor is morality defined by physical hurt.

 

[TooCurious]

Atheists are not exempt from sexual morality, nor is morality defined by physical hurt.

I agree with this statement completely. Of course, as an atheist, one does not have a divine authority to which one may appeal in order to determine how that morality should be defined. That is something the atheist must figure out for himself, based on his own values. (Note: I use "him" here as a gender-neutral pronoun.)

 

[Ben Borg Again]

INAPERFECTWORLD,

well your not alone, as a atheist-unitarian, the idea of caual sex is a total turn off for me, I have only had one sexual partner in my 33 years, my exwife.
I dont plan on haveing sex unless its with a commited monogamous gilrfriend,

my christian wife on the other hand, gave up our 15 year monogamous relationship so she could ego trip on her massive sex appeal and pick up any guy/girl she wanted to without effort. Last week I got her mail from Planned Parenthood, the results of her STD tests. Who knows how many sex partners she has had since she left 3 months ago, but I know she is out at the bars all the time and never comes home at night, While her voice mail is full of messages from guys telling her how much they miss her.

 

[BarbB]

...

What do you think? Am I an idiot for being a male atheist with respect for sexual modesty?

Doesn't sound so much like sexual modesty as sexual insecurity to me.

If you are waiting for a relationship to be sexually active, why not wait until you are married to someone who also waited?

 

[benjdm]

Sometimes people tell me that because I'm an atheist and becuase sex doesnt hurt people, that I should be doing it more often.

Sometimes people should mind their own business. It's your decision to make.

 

[Illuminatus]

The fact that you're an atheist doesn't mean that you have any sort of obligation to have more sex than theists.

It just means that you have an obligation to have better sex than theists.

 

[Toboe]

Sometimes people tell me that because I'm an atheist and becuase sex doesnt hurt people, that I should be doing it more often.

However, I don't like the idea of sleeping with strangers. I don't want to knock up a girl, or get an STD. I would only like to have sex within a trustful relationship.

I'm not dating anyone seriously now though, and am quite lonely But anyway, I fear that when I head off to college next year my attitude may change in one direction or the other. I just worry that I will not be so great in bed because of my lack of experience.

What do you think? Am I an idiot for being a male atheist with respect for sexual modesty?

No that's your personal opinion you don't need religion to back it up.

 

[Blackmarch]

Sometimes people tell me that because I'm an atheist and becuase sex doesnt hurt people, that I should be doing it more often.

However, I don't like the idea of sleeping with strangers. I don't want to knock up a girl, or get an STD. I would only like to have sex within a trustful relationship.

I'm not dating anyone seriously now though, and am quite lonely But anyway, I fear that when I head off to college next year my attitude may change in one direction or the other. I just worry that I will not be so great in bed because of my lack of experience.

What do you think? Am I an idiot for being a male atheist with respect for sexual modesty?

NO, we need more people like that, if males on the whole would prefer more modesty than less, then females would start to change in that direction too, and IMO the number of sex offfenses would decline.

 

[Governed Apology Exploded]

Sometimes people tell me that because I'm an atheist and becuase sex doesnt hurt people, that I should be doing it more often.

However, I don't like the idea of sleeping with strangers. I don't want to knock up a girl, or get an STD. I would only like to have sex within a trustful relationship.

I'm not dating anyone seriously now though, and am quite lonely But anyway, I fear that when I head off to college next year my attitude may change in one direction or the other. I just worry that I will not be so great in bed because of my lack of experience.

What do you think? Am I an idiot for being a male atheist with respect for sexual modesty?

So basically you don't have sex all the time because it could hurt YOU.

Not only that, but it's possible to believe people should be free to do things that don't hurt anybody else, but is something you wouldn't personally do or are not interested in doing.

 

[MidnightBlue]

Sometimes people tell me that because I'm an atheist and becuase sex doesnt hurt people, that I should be doing it more often.

I can't help wondering why they think it's any of their business.

However, I don't like the idea of sleeping with strangers. I don't want to knock up a girl, or get an STD. I would only like to have sex within a trustful relationship.

It's not usually a good idea to have sex you don't want to have.

I'm not dating anyone seriously now though, and am quite lonely But anyway, I fear that when I head off to college next year my attitude may change in one direction or the other.

If it changes, it changes.

I just worry that I will not be so great in bed because of my lack of experience.

In my experience, great sex is more a matter of chemistry than technique. Once you have that chemistry with somebody, practice, practice, practice.

What do you think? Am I an idiot for being a male atheist with respect for sexual modesty?

If you don't feel bound to behave the way some religious authority tells you to behave, why should you feel bound to behave in the opposite way? If you're free of religious strictures, you should also be free of the need to flout them. You sound like a nice guy; do what you want.

 

[MidnightBlue]

NO, we need more people like that, if males on the whole would prefer more modesty than less, then females would start to change in that direction too, and IMO the number of sex offfenses would decline.

Yeah, right. Female immodesty is the cause of males' sex offenses.