At a crossroads

[superdave]

Ok My life is like at a crossroads right now. I have no clue where I need to go- but God is leading me to a new direction. I have a lot going on- and I know you guys are my peers and prob. don't have much advice but here it is:

First- All my life I have constantly longed for a romantic relationship. I always wanted to be with someone to hold, someone that loves me you know? Well, last summer I got a chance with a girl- and I soon learned that this girl was like Lucy from "Peanuts" and I was Charlie Brown. Everytime she held out the football- I ran, and she grabbed it away from me. This hurt me beyond words- because I said stuff that I can't take back, like "I love you- I always will." and we held each other for hours and looked in each others eyes... well to make a long story short- she ends up- going out with this jerk. Leaves me for 3 months- and now she came back strong again on me. I of course, took a spin on her once again. Once Again the same story so I ran away. At the same time I met the most wonderful girl in the whole world. We had a long history with each other- We have a lot in common, I asked her to prom and she said yes- and we are going together. I really want to feel for her, or go for something. But I can't... I don't want to get attached to anything.. it's not worth it. I feel like a hamster running in the wheel- and finally I have realized my own self isn't getting anywhere-so I am giving up on "My feelings.." It will get me in trouble I just know it. But at the same time, I want love... I still want that relationship in my life.

Second- I am at crossroads this summer where I should live. I am going to the United Kingdom in July. But I must move from this town I live in. I was called gay at my school- and it's damaged my reputation so strongly. I want to go somewhere start a new life. I think it's so downright mean that people call you homosexual- when they don't know anything about you- or just because you aren't athletic, and enjoy music and the arts so much... it's not fair. But anyway back to the issue- I might move to my grandparent's thats where I am gonna' live next year anyway. I don't want to move back home- because there is no use stirring up dust. I cried my eyes out the day I left home- now I think I will cry if I go back. The problem is this- My Grandparent's assume that I am going to go to there church. I am not going to do this. I have been raised Charismatic, You can't go from being a Charismatic in a spirit filled church to A Traditional Baptist Church (I am not putting down Baptists- it's just I am not use to that kind of worship, understand?) I don't want to hurt there feelings I really don't!- Bt I just can't do this... I won't be happy if I don't worship where I feel comfortable.

This is really stressful I have 2 months to finish a whole lot in this town- It's going to take every breath, all my energy to get it done. It has taken a toll on a lot of me. People say that I am not the same person and this bothers me so much. I was so out going for the longest time, talking out and feeling happy. Now I am withdrawn, don't want to talk to people... it hurts but a lot of times I just want to sit down and just write, and be alone.

Well I am sorry for this long message- but it's all been bottled up... and I don't know how to get it out.

 

[Kirisutokyoo-shinja]

Talking is a good way to get it out
I will pray for you- and you can make it.
I'm not the same person I used to be either.
(But sort of in the opposite direction of you)
Lord in the name of Jesus, Touch his mind and give him the peace beyond understanding that only you can give Lord. Hold him in your arms and be all that he needs all the time, you are the perfect provider, comforter, and our all. Lord give him the boldness, the strength, and the determination to break through his tribulation. Lord, you said in your word, if any man lack wisdom, let him ask. Lord we ask in the name of Jesus, impart your wisdom and will unto him, that he may operate in what pleases you, do what pleases you, and follow the things that please you. Lord help him to understand more and more every day that you are in control, and in your hands...there is no failure. The only way we fail God is not by your hand...you are perfect, there is no failure in you. Father if you are victorious we are too...this means we are FOREVER Triumphant. GLORY!! Lord these things we ask in the name of Jesus...and we thank you and praise you in advanced for the miraculous things you have prepared for Dave and the will for his life and for sustaining him always. In Jesus name, Amen!

 

[kimmee]

im praying that everything works out for you!

 

[nomad]

Father in heaven,

I certainly can understand what he's saying.  Ignorance of this understanding would be bliss indeed.  Father, if you would please, give superdave peace of heart, mind and body.  Help him to see clearly by pointing him off into the right direction.  Give him the assurance that there is someone special up ahead for him someday.  Give him wise counsel that will heal and mend his broken heart.  Give him those thoughts of yours that strenghtens us to carry on and become more like you in wisdom and stature.

Father please assure him of your love for him and that you will never leave him or forsake him.

In the name of your Son.

 

[Remny]

Yo Dave, well it sounded like you wanted a little advice, and I'll offer up some prayers of course too.

Sounds like you want love bad, now usually the people who want it bad are the people that are best at loving. It really is a gift to be able to love someone with a pure heart, selflessly. Don't waste the gift you have and give up. You'll be cheating some girl out there that would really appreciate a guy like you.

There is nothing wrong with telling someone you love them and even you love them forever. If that is how you feel about someone they should know about it.

You may not work with everyone you end up falling in love. That's ok it's not like you got married or anything. There is someone probably tons of chicks out there that are perfect for you, but you have to give them a chance to find out.

And heartbreak, it's the most dreadful woesome feeling ever. I have had plenty of experience. Even I can't always follow my own advice to just enjoy myself and be optamistic when I feel the absense of someone I thought I was going to have a great future with. HOWEVER, nothing has helped me more than prayer. It will bring the right oppertunities to you. Though yer heart may be broken one day, that will make you appreciate the next person you fall in love with more. In contrass to that horrible feeling you will really enjoy being in love the next time.

It never hurts to take time out and focus on yourself try and get yer own life together, but if someone happens by and they seem to want to be a part of yer life don't shut them out because you're afraid of what might happen, for every bad outcome to an endevor there is a good one as well. We're not psychic here so we have give a shot to find out.

Are you still in highschool? At 19? Maybe you are in college. Anyhow changing what people think about you is very easy. One day someone calls you a ***, or whatever. Don't get upset, be nice to people and they will like you, even if they're being jerks at first. Go out of your way to say something nice, be friendly something like that. If you say something nice about them they won't want to insult you anymore and it's as easy as that. It just takes a few kind words to win someone over.

Ok that's prolly bigger than yer message so I hope it didn't bother you that it was so long. I'm praying for your heart that you are optamistic, that people will like you, and you will like others, that you will become more outgoing and confident as you were.

Later yo,

BEN

 

[amie]

Hi superdave
you have gotten some good advice. I want you to know that you are in my prayers tonight...
take care~