Associations and emotions?

[LovedSparrow]

Hi all,
I wasn't sure if this was an Aspbergers thing or just a quirk of mine, so wanted to run it by you. I've never heard of anyone else having it this severe as me but here goes:

I associate an emotion/experience with every place I go, eat at, sit down at or drive to. For example, when I was researching Aspbergers I was sitting in my room by the window. I can't go down and sit there anymore because it was in the past and carries too much emotion. Every restaurant I have been to is hard to go back to because it reminds me of a part in my past. I have this with EVERYTHING in my life. I can't listen to half my iTunes library, go to a restaurant twice without memories, and even places in the house that I sit, and especially classrooms. I can't drive the same route without pain if it was a way that I took to an old job or visiting a friend. If I sat in a specific corner of my room for a period of time, I have to move to another part of the room 3 weeks later because I'm constantly needing new situations. I remember what the place looks like to a T (I have a visual memory), the emotions that I felt, and it brings me back to that specific time period.

This definitely interrupts my life in a major way, it is severe. I don't know how else to describe it, and I stink at it, but maybe someone else can see themselves with this too and will know without me struggling to explain it further.

I've not heard of others having it so severe as me and I can't figure it out! It seems silly that I can't sit with my computer in certain parts of the room because if I do, it reminds me of that time period and emotions.

Aspbergers related or something else?
Thanks all,
LovedSparrow

 

[Autocannibal]

It's probably related to Asperger's - because of the way our brains are wired, many people with Asperger's have amazing memory on a particular subject and amazing ability on a small topic.

However, this doesn't mean that all (or even most) people with Asperger's have memories as vivid as yours - it's one of many manifestations of the same thing.

Personally, I don't have that memory to the extent that you do.

 

[MoeSzyslak]

I don't know what you'd call that. Its almost like your getting the intrusive thoughts of OCD, but not getting the compulsions that usually follow with it for it to be OCD. Or it almost sounds like you're getting mild cases of PTSD from the old scenarios. Its something anxiety and involving the central nervous system. But I'm not sure what you'd call it. I'm sure it is somehow realted to your AS, even though other AS people may not experience it. With a 100 billion or so neurons and 100 trillion or so synapses, chances are very good we aren't all wired exactly the same.

I'm actually about the exact opposite. My EQ is in the bottom 0.6th percentile upon last tetsing. I largely don't feel emotions. 95% of the time I just am. I am not happy, or sad, or angry or anything, I just am. That is why I have such a hard time answering the question "how are you doing?" when people ask. I'm just doing.

The other 5% of the time I do feel the usual emotions. But if I am feeling an emotion, it is probably very strong so people best step back cause it is extreme.

 

[LovedSparrow]

Thanks Moe and AutoCannibal. I appreciate your thoughts. I do tend to remember details, feelings, and people the way they were at that certain moment. You got it spot on, I've been 'pre-'diagnosed with PTSD because of abuse issues. I'm constantly hypervigilent and on edge of something happening. The crazy part is that I don't have memories from age 0-22. (I'm 28). I have really no recollection of high school, my parents, trips we went on, friends I had, things I went through. Even day-to-day life. Had major depression. Therefore, I do not have the 'knowledge' from high school- whatever I learned. Plus I have developmental issues. I think you both have great suggestions. I will pray on them more. I'm just curious because it drives me so crazy. I constantly have to avoid sitting in spots in the house or can't listen to a song anymore because it brings me back.

THANK YOU!